


Jumpstarted

by theangrypeanut



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2020-04-07 07:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 101,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19080055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theangrypeanut/pseuds/theangrypeanut
Summary: After another failed attempt at wooing Lily Evans ruins one of Sirius' plans, he and James make a bet - James has to get Lily to go on a date with him before Sirius can get a girl of Remus' choice to agree to one with him. Remus chooses Sarah Hughes, a quiet Hufflepuff. Should be an easy target, right? Unfortunately for Sirius, she hates him.





	1. The Bet

**Author's Note:**

> It's been ages since I've written a fanfic, but I've decided to give it a go once again. I know this is a super cliché story idea, but what can I say? I love tropes with a passion! 
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated! And if you're interested in being a beta reader, send me a message! I'd love to get some feedback!

The first Thursday of October was an uncharacteristically sunny day. Autumn had already begun, and the leaves were starting to fall from the trees. Yet, that day, summer seemed to have returned for a quick visit, making the air hot and dry. The Great Hall was sweltering as the students packed themselves in, and most were already dripping with sweat, their robes discarded and their ties hanging loose around their necks.

In an instant, the tables were filled with delicious food, the smell drifting through the humid air, and the students and staff loaded up their plates, eager to begin eating. Only three people in the entire castle were absent from the room, and only one person noticed.

“Where do you think they are, Wormtail?” Sirius asked, craning his neck to look down the Gryffindor table, wondering if perhaps he’d somehow overlooked two of his best friends.

“Dunno,” Peter said absentmindedly, his eyes devouring the food before him. He reached for a few rolls to add to his already-full plate. “Could be in the library? We’ve got that quiz in Binn’s later that Remus keeps bugging us about.”

“McGonagall’s gone, too,” Sirius noted with a disgusted glance as the chubby boy beside him stuffed his face. “Think they got caught?”

“Of course, not,” Peter dismissed, raising a chicken leg to his mouth. He paused and put it down. “Probably not,” he said less confidently. Another pause. “Oh, no, they got caught, didn’t they?”

Sirius shook his head in disappointment before finally turning to the food and filling his plate.

A moment later, the large, oak doors opened, and Professor McGonagall marched up the main aisle, her lips pursed in annoyance and a disapproving frown creased at her eyebrows. Behind her, two boys slunk into the room and headed for their seats.

“Well, boys, looks like we’ll be cancelling our plans for the weekend,” Remus said with a sigh, plopping his bag down and taking his seat. James sat down angrily beside him.

“What? Why?” Peter asked, crestfallen as he dropped his fork onto his nearly-empty plate.

“Don’t tell me you couldn’t get the pipes,” Sirius said, putting his fork down and looking at his friends with a frown. “Mate, that was literally your only job.”

“I got the bloody pipes,” James snapped, slopping a small heap of mashed potatoes on his plate and splattering some of the spuds on the table.

“So, what?” Sirius asked impatiently, his eyes going from one boy to the next.

“Would you like to tell them, or should I?” Remus asked with a raised brow.

James sighed. “I got detention.”

“When for?” Peter asked with a frown.

A pause. “Saturday at noon,” James muttered.

“What?!” Peter and Sirius exclaimed at once.

“But James! That’s the only time we can do it!” Peter said, his eyes round with disappointment.

“What did you do?” Sirius asked with a disappointed glare. He was so looking forward to flooding the dungeons, and it had taken ages to come up with the perfect plan — a plan that required all four boys.

“I didn’t do anything!” James said defensively.

Remus snorted. “You literally lit half the grounds on fire.”

“You did what?” Sirius asked incredulously as Peter choked in disbelief.

“He’s blowing it way out of proportion,” James said with a flippant wave of his hand.

“Explain,” Peter said, barely able to control his glee. He always loved hearing about the things James did. It was one of the reasons why he loved hanging around the boy so much — to witness it all first-hand.

James hesitated a moment, glancing at Remus’ scrutinising glare. “I was just trying to create a  _controlled fire_ ,” he said with a pointed look at his disapproving friend. “And it may have been a bit bigger than expected.”

Remus scoffed. “Understatement of the century,” he muttered.

Sirius looked ready to cry. “Why didn’t I know about this?” He asked with puppy-dog eyes, crushed at not being included in his plan. “What were you even trying to do?”

“Take a guess,” Remus mumbled, cutting into his chicken.

“Lily?” Peter asked, his eyes flicking to each of his friends.

“Please, Wormy,” Sirius said with a scoff. “How is lighting a fire going to impress Evans?” At James’ silence, he let out a bark of laughter. “You’re joking!”

“I was trying to be romantic!” James exclaimed as he threw his head back in exasperation. It seemed as though he had already gone over his logic with Remus and was not thrilled about having to go over it all once again.

“How is a wildfire romantic?” Sirius said through fits of laughter.

“Apparently,” Remus began with a smirk. “He was trying to write a ‘romantic message’ in the grass.”

“It was romantic!” James glared at his friends, making them laugh even harder.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sirius said, holding out his hands to silence his companions. “Let me guess. ‘Dear Evans, you are the light of my life, and, to prove it, I’m going to burn down the school.’”

“Yeah, yeah, real funny,” James grumbled as the boys sniggered around him.

“But really, what did it say?” Peter said with a smile full of anticipation.

“It doesn’t really —”

“It was a poem,” Remus jumped in when he saw James dodging the question.

“It wasn’t a poem,” James snapped.

“Oh, yes, you’re right. A  _haiku_.”

Peter let out a guffaw. Sirius was practically overflowing with joy at his best friend’s obvious embarrassment. “Go on, Prongs, tell us what it said.”

“I don’t —”

“Don’t remember? Don’t worry; I’ve got it right here,” Remus said as he pulled out a scrap of paper from his robes.

“Moony!” James said, snatching at the paper. Sirius, however, was quicker and seized the paper. He cleared his throat and began to read dramatically.

“Hair like flames, eyes like

Spring. You have set my heart ablaze

Like I do right here.”

There was a pause before the three boys burst out laughing, much to the dismay of a red-faced James.

“How long did that take you, eh?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“What did she say?” Peter asked, delighted.

“She didn’t even see it. She was in potions on the other side of the castle.” Remus chuckled.

“Mate, you didn’t even do it when she was around?” Sirius cringed, his amusement quickly changing to secondhand embarrassment for his friend.

“I got my days mixed up,” James muttered into his food. A new wave of laughter rippled through the group, and he crossed his arms over his chest and glared. “Har, har. Yuck it up, boys,” he said sarcastically.

“Oh, come on, James,” Remus said, laying a hand on James’ shoulder, who immediately twisted his body, causing the offending hand to drop to the bench. “We’re just messing with you.”

“Yeah, Prongs, we’re just messing,” Peter sniggered behind his hand.

“But seriously,” Sirius said, his laughter dying down to a small chuckle. “What made you think that would even work?”

“I don’t know,” James said dejectedly as he moved around the food on his plate with his fork. “I figured I needed a big, grand gesture.”

“What, another one?” Peter asked with raised brows as he resumed eating.

“You should really try changing your approach,” Remus said thoughtfully. “Clearly, the big gestures aren’t working.”

“And they’re ruining our genius plans,” Sirius added with a glare that was immediately returned.

“If you really like her,” Remus continued. “You might want to try just being honest with her.”

Sirius scoffed. “He’s been more than honest. He’s practically confessed his undying love already.”

“He has,” Peter said excitedly. “Remember the 12 days of Christmas fiasco?” 

Sirius laughed. “Oh, I forgot! That was epic, mate.”

James groaned and let his head fall into his hands. “I can’t help it.” He said, forlorn, his eyes drifting over to the red-head sitting a ways down the table. “She just drives me mental with how perfect she is.”

“No one’s perfect, James," Remus remarked.

“She is,” James said glumly.

“Prongsy,” Sirius said, levelling James with a look. “She hangs around Snivellus, for Merlin’s sake! She clearly has terrible taste in men.”

“She doesn’t have terrible taste!” James cried. “Snivellus has just manipulated her, and she’s too kind and trusting and beautiful to realise it.”

“Well, if she’s so easily manipulated, why hasn’t she been swayed by you, then?” Remus pointed out. 

“Because I’m not trying to manipulate her! I’m trying to show her that I’m the one for her! She just can’t see it yet.”

“You have asked this girl out in every way imaginable, and she has said no every single time,” Remus replied, rolling his eyes. “Like I said, change your methods.”

“My methods are fine,” James snapped.

“So, why hasn't she said yes yet?” Remus retorted.

“Moony’s right, Prongs,” Sirius said seriously when James failed to find a reason. “You’ve been doing the grand gesture thing for five years now, and it hasn’t worked.”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk.” James rolled his eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sirius asked, affronted.

“You don’t even have a method,” James scoffed.

“I do so have a method!” Sirius snapped. Beside him, Peter watched the exchange as though watching a tennis match, his eyes snapping from one boy to another.

“You’ve only dated two girls, and both of them asked you out.”

“Exactly. I get them to do the hard work.”

“That’s not a method; that’s just laziness.”

“Oi, don’t shit on my methods! They clearly work better than yours!”

“Do not!”

“Do so!”

“Wanna bet?”

“Oh, here we go,” Remus muttered running a hand over his face. Of all the plans they came up with, the stupidest always came about when James and Sirius were trying to one-up each other.

“What did you have in mind?” Sirius smirked, intrigued.

James thought for a moment, his forefinger pressed to his lips as he looked up at the ceiling. Finally, with a smack of his lips, he said, “If you can get a girl to agree to a date with you before I can get Lily to agree to one with me, you win.”

“Easy,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“But, you have to ask her,” James clarified, wagging a finger in Sirius’ face. “No getting her to ask you.”

“Is that all?” Sirius raised an overconfident brow.

“And not just any girl,” James continued. “We pick the girl.”

“Like that’ll make a difference,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “What do I get when I win?”

“When  _I_  win,” James corrected. “You have to…” He faltered once again, trying to come up with a suitable idea.

“Go streaking?” Peter chimed in.

“Ha!” James laughed. “Perfect. Loser has to go streaking.”

“You’ve already gone streaking at least three times. It’s hardly a revolutionary idea,” Remus pointed out.

“In the middle of Transfiguration class,” James added.

A devilish grin spread across Sirius’ face. “Perfect.”

“Do we have a deal, then?” James asked, holding his hand out to Sirius.

“Deal,” Sirius said, taking James’ hand and giving it a firm shake. “On the condition that Remus picks the girl. He’s the only one I trust to be impartial to this.”

“Fair enough,” James said with a smirk.

“Why not me?” Peter asked with an offended frown.

“Do you even know any girls, Peter?” James asked with an amused grin.

“I know some!” Peter said with a glare.

“Name 10,” Sirius deadpanned.

“Lily, Mary, Alice…” He said, listing off all of the girls he knew. He stopped after three.

“Exactly,” James snorted.

“You can pick the girl, Peter,” Remus said, causing the other boys to frown in confusion. “I don’t want any part in this.”

“What? Why?” James asked.

“Asking a girl out for a bet — it’s mean.”

“Oh, come on, Moony,” Sirius laughed. “I’m only asking for a date. I’m not trying to make her fall in love with me, or anything. That said, I can’t promise she won’t fall for me during our date.” His face broke out into a dashing smile. Remus looked unimpressed.

“Regardless, I don’t like the idea of it,” Remus said.

“You’re right,” Sirius said with a smirk. “Now that I think about it, Moony knows about as many girls as Peter.”

Remus ignored Peter’s sniggering and narrowed his eyes at the black-haired boy. “Not that it matters, as actually knowing the girl is irrelevant for this bet, but I know plenty of girls.”

“Sure you do, Moons,” Sirius said, patting Remus’ hand with a condescending smile.

“Fine,” Remus snapped, snatching his hand away petulantly. “I will pick the girl.”

“Excellent,” James said with a grin.

“And I already know the perfect one.”

“Go on, then. And make it a challenge, will you? Wouldn’t want this to be unfair to Jamesy, here.” Sirius smirked.

“Sarah Hughes.”

The four boys looked over to the Hufflepuff table with all the subtlety of a heard of elephants, each one craning their necks to get a better look. The girl in question was sitting at the far end of the table, chatting away with her friends as she munched at her sandwich. Her eyes caught with Sirius’, and, startled, she looked away hurriedly.

“A Hufflepuff?” Sirius scoffed. “I thought I asked for a challenge.”

“Just let him win, why don’t you,” James exclaimed indignantly.

Remus nudged him in the ribs. “You asked me to pick, and I pick her.”

“Very well, then,” Sirius said, turning back to his friends. “May the best man win.”

“Don’t worry; I will,” James glared.

Sirius stood from his seat.

“Wait, you’re asking her now?” Peter asked with wide eyes.

“No time like the present,” Sirius gave his most charming smile. “Besides,” he turned to James. “I’m just itching to see McGonagall’s face when you go streaking in the middle of her class.”

As the three boys watched Sirius saunter over to the Hufflepuff table, James huffed in his seat, his confidence in winning all but gone. “You could have at least picked a Slytherin. He’s going to win before I’ve even had a chance to say Hi to Evans.”

 “I probably should have mentioned…” Remus said slyly. “She despises him.”

This perked James up immediately, and he and Peter shared a delighted look before standing slightly to get a better view of their cocky friend’s imminent rejection.

On the other side of the Great Hall, the chatter from the Hufflepuff table was quickly turning into a soft buzz as Sirius made his way over to his target.

Sarah watched him from the corner of her eye, doing her best to ignore him. Trouble always seemed to follow him around, and she had no interest in getting wrapped up in one of his stupid schemes. Her friends, on the other hand, seemed antsy in anticipation.

“He’s coming over here,” Anna, her roommate, whispered.

“What do you think he wants?” Gretchen, another roommate, leaned forward to ask Sarah.

“Something stupid, I’m sure,” Sarah mumbled as she bit into her sandwich.

Their giggles turned to breathy gasps as Sirius came to stand directly behind Anna and Gretchen.

“Hello, ladies,” he said in what he assumed was a charming voice. The girls looked up at him with hearts practically floating from their heads. Sarah rolled her eyes and returned to her food.

“Hi, Sirius,” Gretchen said in a voice that was entirely not her own.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked, indicating to the very-clearly-full bench.

“No, no!” Anna said quickly. The girls scrambled to make room for him, pushing each other and squishing together as he climbed into the seat.

“Oh, hello there,” Sirius said to Sarah, acting as though he just noticed her. “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. Sirius Black,” he smiled at her, holding his hand out for her to shake.

“Black, we have four classes together,” she said, unimpressed, and ignored his outstretched hand. “I know who you are.”

“Oh, my mistake,” he smiled, pulling his hand back, completely unfazed by her disinterest. “It’s Sarah, right?”

“Yep,” she said shortly.

“Well, Sarah, it’s a pleasure to…re-meet you,” he smiled. The girls around him giggled.

She made a noncommittal noise as she looked him over. “So, is there something you wanted? Or did you just forget which house you’re in?”  

“Well,” he began. “Hogsmeade trip is next weekend. I was just wondering what time I’m picking you up?”

Sarah raised a brow. “Excuse me?”

“For our date,” Sirius clarified.

Gretchen looked at her friend quickly, her eyes wide with excitement. “Sarah, you didn’t tell me you’re going on a date with Sirius!”

“Yeah, because I’m not,” Sarah snapped at her friend before turning back to the boy in front of her.

Sirius let out a long, dramatic sigh. “Well, I see you’re going to make me beg for it, then. Sarah Hughes,” he reached forward and took her hand in his, lowering his head slightly. Leave it to Black to figure out how to bow while sitting down. “Will you do me the immense honour of accompanying me to Hogsmeade next weekend?”

Her friends looked at her expectantly, each with a dreamy smile on their face as though they were watching the greatest love story ever told unfold before them.

“No,” Sarah said simply, snatching her hand away with a sneer.

Sirius’ smile faded. “No?” He asked, a confused frown creasing at his brows.

“No,” Sarah said again.

“Pity,” Sirius said with pursed lips. “Guess I’ll just have to change your mind, then.” His smile easily slipped back into place, and he crawled out of his seat.

“No, no,” Sarah said insistently. “There will be no changing my mind. The answer is and will remain ‘no.’”

“Keep your calendar open. I have something amazing planned for our date.” He smiled at the girls before turning to walk away.

“There is no date,” she called after him.

“See you around, Hughes.” Sirius winked, ignoring her insistence, and returned to his friends who were very obviously watching the scene play out.

“Sarah!” Gretchen hissed. “Are you insane? Why didn’t you say yes? He’s so dreamy!”

“He’s repulsive,” Sarah quipped.

“Repulsive?! With those eyes? And that hair,” she finished with a sigh, looking off into space.

“He’s literally never asked anyone out before,” Anna said beside her. “He must really like you.”

“Unlucky me,” Sarah muttered, returning to her sandwich and quickly putting the encounter out of her mind.


	2. Sirius' Five-Step Plan to Wooing a Woman

After Sirius’ rather public rejection, no one saw much of him.

Shortly after lunch, he left the Great Hall without a word, his face set in a determined frown. That afternoon, he was absent from his remaining classes, missing the test in History of Magic.

Remus, ready to smack his reckless friend for skipping a test, was surprised to find him in the library, practically drowning in a mountain of books.

“You missed the test,” he said, cautiously approaching the apparently secret bookworm. Sirius muttered something indistinguishable in response, refusing to tear his eyes away from the thick, dusty book he held. “What are you even doing?”

“I’m reading,” Sirius said, finally putting his book down and looking up. “Don’t you always say we need to read more? I thought you’d be happy I’m finally doing what you tell me for once.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean miss your test to read.” Remus crossed his arms. “It’s going to affect your final grade.”

Sirius waved him off and looked back to his book. “So, I’ll get an E instead of an O. It’s not like learning about Goblin Wars is going to help me in life, anyway.”

Remus crouched down and grabbed a book from the top of one of the piles. “ _The Psychology of Cinderella_. What’s this for?” He frowned. Sirius snatched the book away and hugged it to his chest, eyeing him warily.

“Mind your own business, Moony,” Sirius whispered angrily. “Merlin, it’s like you’ve never heard of a little thing called privacy.”

“Since when do you care about privacy? You literally pee with the bathroom door open,” Remus chuckled incredulously.

Sirius huffed and began gathering his books. “I see I won’t be able to get anything done with you around.” With a flick of his wand, he took his levitating books and started stomping away.

Before he was completely out of sight, he turned back around angrily. “And you all know what I’m doing; I don’t see how closing the door is going to make any difference.” And, with that, he stalked out of the library, leaving behind a very baffled Remus.

The next day, Sirius was missing completely. At breakfast, James was unbothered by his absence, figuring he’d just slept in. At lunch, he was getting annoyed at being ignored for so long. But by dinner, he was becoming increasingly worried.

“Have either of you seen Sirius?” James asked Peter and Remus as they left the Great Hall and headed back to their dorm. 

Peter shook his head before turning to Remus for an answer.

“I saw him in the library this morning,” Remus said with a shrug. “But he wasn’t in Divination after lunch.”

“Do you think something’s happened?” Peter asked with a concerned look at his friends.

“He’s probably just embarrassed about being rejected in front of everyone,” Remus said reassuringly, patting Peter on the back. “He’ll turn up eventually; he always does.”

“Yeah, probably,” James said, unconvinced. He looked over his shoulder to see if he could spot his friend in the crowd of Gryffindors, but there was no sign of him.

On Saturday, James spent his afternoon cleaning out the broom cupboards in the quidditch locker rooms. As the minutes went by, he thought of their ruined plan, mentally noting what he  _would_  be doing if he hadn't gotten detention. They'd had everything planned down to the second, and it was torturous watching the clock, knowing that, when he should have been laying out the third pipe by now, he was here, scrubbing brooms.

After three hours, when the dungeons should have been well-flooded, he decided he needed a break. As he stepped out of the small stadium for a minute, his face smudged in black marks and his head spinning from the noxious fumes of the broom polish, he spotted his shaggy-haired friend leaving Hagrid’s hut. The large, unkempt gamekeeper slapped Sirius on the back, sending the boy stumbling a bit, before shaking his hand and sending him on his way.

 _What is he up to?_  James wondered to himself as he leaned up on his tiptoes to try to get a better view. Just as he stepped forward, hoping to catch a word with Sirius, Filch barked at him to get back to work. When he looked back, the path where Sirius was walking just a moment ago was empty, and the black-haired boy was nowhere to be seen.

That night as James, Remus, and Peter were changing into their pyjamas and getting ready for bed, James recounted the sighting.

“It’s weird, right?” James hissed, as though it were some great conspiracy.

“Not really,” Remus said. “We visit Hagrid all the time.”

“Yeah,  _we_. Why would he go alone?”

“Maybe he had a question about his homework?” Peter guessed.

“Since when does he care about homework?” James asked with a sceptical scowl.

“I wouldn’t look into it too much, James,” Remus mused as he pulled on his pyjama bottoms. “He’s probably just making some master plan or something. He’ll tell us about it when he’s done.”

As if on cue, Sirius burst into the room, holding a single parchment.

“I’ve got it!” He blurted excitedly, waving the paper around his head.

“Ah, the invisible man finally appears,” Remus remarked mildly. “What did I tell you, James?”

“What’s that, Sirius?” Peter asked with wide-eyed interest.

James snatched the parchment away and read aloud. “Sirius’ Five-Step Plan to Wooing a Woman.” He sniggered as his eyes scanned the paper. “You were right, Moony.”

“Give me that,” Sirius growled, taking back the parchment before James could read too much. “You’ll rip the paper.” He tenderly smoothed out the very-much-unripped paper.

“Is that what the  _Cinderella_  book was for?” Remus let out an exasperated laugh.

“Yes!” Sirius stated with pride.

“What's Cinderella?” Peter asked.

“Really, Wormtail?” James looked up at the ceiling in frustration. “We covered muggle fairytales last year. Glass slipper? Pumpkin? Mice who conveniently know how to sew? Don’t you remember any of this?”

“Hey, fellas,” Remus said as he watched Sirius get huffy at the lack of attention. “I think Sirius wants us to listen to him now.”

“Thank you, Remus,” Sirius said with a pointed glare at James and Peter for interrupting his oh-so-important announcement. “I have here in my hands the single most important guidebook you sorry lot will ever have the good fortune of laying your eyes upon. I have scoured every book and interviewed every romancer and have come up with the five things that every good wooing needs.”

“‘Every romancer’ meaning Hagrid,” Remus laughed.

“You did research for this?” James asked, getting slightly nervous that he might have to go streaking soon.

“Unlike you, Prongs,” Sirius said with a cocky smile. “I intend to win this bet. And, while you may feel comfortable with just winging everything, some of us like to be prepared.”

“Says the boy who skipped an entire test,” Peter grinned as he sat cross-legged on his bed.

“All right,” Remus sighed, sitting down on his bed and leaning back on his hands. “What’s this master plan of yours, then?”

“Listen up, children,” Sirius said, putting on his best McGonagall impression. “Class has begun.” Clearing his throat, he began reading. 

“Step One,” he said, holding the paper out in front of him. “Recon. Research the woman of your desires. What are her likes? What are her dislikes? What is her personal history? Who are her friends? Is she allergic to anything? What are her parents like? Learn all you can about the woman you intend to woo.”

“So… stalk her,” Remus smirked.

“Not stalk. Recon,” Sirius insisted.

"Sounds an awful lot like stalking," James agreed.

“Step Two,” Sirius continued, ignoring the remark. “Laying the groundwork. Compliment her. Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her how lucky any guy would be to be with her. Make your interest in her known.”

“Decent,” James said, pursing his lips and nodding his head in approval.

“Step Three, laying  _her_  groundwork.”

“Sounds sexual,” Peter sniggered.

“This step,” Sirius glared, brushing past the comment. “Is all about confidence. Girls love confidence. Get her to see your redeeming qualities. Show her why she should be interested in you.”

“Ah, yes,” Remus chortled. “All the great romances began with detailed presentations about why she should like you.”

“Some girls just need a bit of help, that’s all,” Sirius said, genuinely believing what he was saying. James snorted.

“Step Four, laying her groundwork, Part Two.”

“Still sexual.” James high-fived Peter.

“Make yourself look good when she’s not around. This includes not only looking good physically — in a natural way, of course. Not like you’re trying too hard — but also looking like a decent bloke. Be nice to her friends. Answer questions in class so she knows you’re smart, but ignore the praise so she sees that you’re still humble. Help out a random kid in the hallway when she thinks you think she’s not looking — but make sure she’s looking before you help the kid.”

“Obviously,” James smirked.

“Decent bloke, indeed.” Remus shook his head.

“And finally, Step Five. When the groundwork is laid,  _cautiously_  make your move. Be humble, yet confident, and make sure she’s ready to accept your invitation, lest you get rejected, thus rendering all previous steps null.”

As he finished reading, he looked to his roommates with a wide, proud smile. "There you have it, boys — everything you need to know about wooing the girl of your dreams." The three boys looking back didn’t seem as impressed as he clearly was with himself.

“Is that it?” James asked with a bored expression.

“What do you mean, ‘is that it?’” Sirius asked, his smile falling slightly when his roommates failed to applaud his obvious ingenuity.

“I think you wasted three days of research, mate,” James said with a sympathetic grimace. “I’ve tried all of those, and none of them have worked.”

“Yes, well,  _you_  did it wrong,” Sirius said calmly, placing a sticking charm on his parchment and placing it on the wall above his headboard.

James glared. “How did I do it wrong?” He began listing each item off on his fingers. “Learn about her, check. Be nice to her, check. Look good in front of her, check. Ask her out, check times a lot.”

Sirius turned with a haughty frown. “Yes, Prongs, but you fucked the order.”

“Excuse me?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I have done meticulous research. I read a tome, for Merlin’s sake; I’m practically an expert, here. The plan only works _in this order._  If even one step is misplaced, it’ll never work. And you fucked the order on day one.”

“I did not,” James said.

“You asked her out at during our very first dinner in first year,” Remus pointed out with a smirk. “You barely knew her name.”

“Zero groundwork,” Sirius nodded, pointing a finger at Remus as if to say ‘I told you so.’

“Whose side are you on, Moony?” James cried.

“I’m not saying his plan is going to work,” Remus said, holding his hands up in defence. “I’m just saying that, if this order really is important, you didn’t exactly follow it.”

“Exactly,” Sirius said, crossing his arms and giving a self-satisfied smile.

“Yeah, but you went out of order, too, Sirius,” Peter piped up.

“Yeah, you asked her out two days ago, and you didn’t do any recon,” James said with a triumphant grin. “ _Zero groundwork_ ,” he added in a mocking tone.

“Yes. But, you see, my dear boys, there is a big difference here. James over there has been asking her out every day for going-on-five years, now. He's slashed the order to bits, leaving it a barely recognisable husk. I, however, only asked her out once. That’s just one tiny mistake. A mistake that can be easily ratified, I might add.”

“How’s that?” Remus asked with a grin, loving how confident Sirius could be with such an incredibly distorted thought process.

“During Step Two, I will simply apologise for my hastiness in asking her out so soon.” He looked off into the distance, flicking on his acting switch and putting on his best apologetic face.

“You see, Sarah,” he spoke to the imaginary girl. “I was just so enraptured by your beauty, I got a bit carried away. But, I’ve realised that you are a person with thoughts and feelings, and, for now, I just want to get to know the beautiful soul  _inside_  the beautiful girl.”

After a quiet pause, Peter whispered, “Wow. That was beautiful, Sirius!”

James scoffed. “That’ll never work.”

“I’m with James on this one, mate,” Remus said with a grimace. “I don’t think she’ll go for it.”

“Ye of little faith,” Sirius said, shaking his head in disappointment as he pulled out of his impromptu acting session. “I never thought I’d see the day when Peter is the only one who believes in me.” Peter beamed at the praise.

“Oh, we believe in you just fine,” James said with an innocent look. “But I also believe that I’ll be winning this bet.”

“You’ll be winning my arse,” Sirius hissed with a glare.

James blinked. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“You don’t make sense!” Sirius snapped, angrily getting into bed and glaring around the room. “I’ll show you all. My plan will work! Just you wait!” He cried before yanking the curtains shut, blocking out his sniggering roommates.

“So dramatic,” Remus muttered before closing his own curtains.

“Do you think it’ll work?” Peter whispered to James.

James let out a breathy laugh. “Oh, he doesn’t have a chance.”

The two boys laughed softly for a moment before closing their curtains.


	3. Step One: Recon (Not Stalking)

**_Step One: Recon._ **

_Research the woman of your desires. What are her likes? What are her dislikes? What is her personal history? Who are her friends? Is she allergic to anything? What are her parents like? Learn all you can about the woman you intend to woo._

***

James stood in front of the bathroom mirror, scooped up a glob of gel, and ran his slick fingers through his hair, trying to achieve an effortlessly messy look. There was a fine line between matted bed-head and straight off a broom, and, thanks to his father’s new Sleekeazy’s Hair Gel (now available in three new scents), James toed that line like a skilled tightrope walker.

As he stood there, pulling at a single lock of hair and twirling it around his finger, Sirius came up behind him and threw his arm around his shoulder. “Hey there, Prongs, my best mate in the whole world, light of my life, handsomest boy in all the—”

“What do you want?” James smirked.

Sirius gave him a cheeky grin. “Can I borrow your cloak?”

“What for?” James drew out the last word, already knowing the answer.

“Side project,” Sirius said cryptically.

“This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with the bet, now would it?”

“Maybe,” Sirius shrugged nonchalantly.

James sighed, letting his hands drop, and looked at his friend in the mirror. “Why would I help you win? I’m part of this bet, too, remember?”

“Oh, come on, James,” Sirius said, removing his arm from around James’ shoulder. “I just need it to do a bit of recon.”

“You mean stalking,” James chuckled.

“ _Recon_.”

“Hm…” James thought as he examined his hair. When he was satisfied, he shot his reflection two finger guns and winked before flicking his eyes over to Sirius’ reflection. “No.”

Sirius dropped to his knees, clasping his hands together. “Please, James? Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please!” He begged.

James turned and looked down at the pathetic boy, pursing his lips and tapping his chin as if thinking it over. “What do I get in return?”

Sirius thought for a moment. “I’ll write your Potions essay for you.”

“I already finished.”

“Oh…can I copy yours, then?”

James laughed and started to walk away.

“Wait!” Sirius cried, tugging at James’ robes. James looked down and stumbled as Sirius clawed at his robes, awkwardly pulling himself to his feet. “I didn’t want to have to do this, but…” He took a deep breath as if steeling himself for what he was about to say. “I’ll give you my dungbomb collection.”

James gasped. “What? That’s, like, 300 dungbombs!”

Sirius’ face was a mask of pain. “I know,” he choked out.

James stared at him, wide-eyed. “Wow, you really want to use the cloak.”

“Is that a yes, then?” Sirius asked hopefully.

James thought for a moment. “You’ve got yourself a deal,” he said before rushing back into their room to collect his prize.

After a heart-wrenching trade in which Remus had to physically pull a teary-eyed Sirius away from his smelly collection, Sirius finally stepped through the Gryffindor portrait, completely unseen. He paused just outside of the entrance and scanned the Map.

 _Where are you?_  He thought to himself, his finger gliding across the page.  _Aha! Found you!_  With a determined grin, he made his way to the Great Hall.

***

Sarah Hughes sat in her usual spot at the far end of the Hufflepuff table, sipping her tea and nibbling on a biscuit. Across from her, Gretchen was reading an article from  _Witch Weekly_ , and Anna sat beside her, lecturing them both about the male gaze — again.

“All I’m saying,” she ranted to deaf ears. “Is that it’s so debilitating to women everywhere. I mean, why are women expected to be gorgeous and thin and sexy all the time, but men can look how they want? It’s ridiculous. Look here.”

She snatched Gretchen’s magazine away and laid it flat on the table. “ _Witchiest and Bitchiest,_ ” She read aloud, pointing out the best- and worst-dressed witches at last night’s Ministry Gala. “Who cares ‘who wore it best’? There are people dying of hunger all over the world, and all our society cares about is which celebrity looks better in a red dress.”

With pursed lips, Gretchen put a finger on the magazine and slid it back in front of her, well away from Anna’s righteous grasp. “Well, excuse me for liking fashion,” she said in a curt voice, sending an annoyed glare at the little activist.

“And why is there no  _Witchiest and Bitchiest_  for men?” Anna continued, oblivious to her irritated roommates. “There are 1,000 articles about how women should look and dress and act, yet there’s nothing about men. The only thing they have is ‘How to woo a woman!’ It’s like they’re not even trying to cover up the fact that they see us as just objects that they—”

“Anna,” Sarah cut in gently. “It’s 8:30 in the morning. Can you just…not?”

“I’m just saying,” Anna said defensively.

“You’ve ‘just said’ a million times already,” Gretchen snapped.

“Oh, I’m sorry for trying to educate you ladies!” Anna said with a pout.

“We appreciate it, Anna. And, normally, we would agree with you,” Sarah smiled. “But not at 8:30 in the morning.”

“On a Monday, no less,” Gretchen added.

As Anna and Gretchen continued bickering, Sarah felt something shift beside her. She looked to the empty seat next to her but found nothing. She could have sworn someone had just brushed up against her. With a frown, she turned back to her friends.

“But Gretch, I’m trying to tell you how shit that magazine is! Why don’t you try reading something a bit more empowering?”

“She does have a point, Gretchen,” Sarah said with a grimace. “Why do you read that garbage?”

“I like the articles,” Gretchen mumbled, her face turning a light shade of pink.

Sarah glanced at the open page and smirked. “Oh, yeah. ‘Making Your Knees Unbe-Knee-vable!’ That’s really informative.”

Gretchen glared. “For your information, the knees are the most underrated part of the body. And some men think they’re a real turn-on.”

Sarah laughed loudly. “That is not a man I want to meet.”

“Speaking of men we’d like to meet,” Anna smirked, abandoning all thoughts of feminism. “Have you talked to Sirius again?”

Sarah heard a soft brush of air beside her. She snapped her head to the right, thinking maybe someone had walked past. Like before, there was nothing.

“Wow, Miss Feminism,” Gretchen said, pulling Sarah’s attention back to the conversation. “Looks like we know where your true interests lie.”

“Hey, just because I want equal rights doesn’t mean I don’t love love,” Anna said defensively.

Sarah nearly choked. “Who said anything about love? He’s asked me out once, and I said no. That’s it.”

“Yeah, but that’s how all great romances start,” Gretchen said, her magazine forgotten.

Sarah laughed. “Hardly. We’re not in a Shakespearian play.”

“Oh, but that would be amazing, wouldn’t it?” Anna gushed. “He likes her, she hates him, and they’re the only ones who can’t see how meant to be they are! Very  _Much Ado_ , don’t you think, Gretch?”

Gretchen, the only one of them who wasn’t raised in the muggle world, was lost. “Um…what’s —”

“Never mind,” Anna said quickly, not wanting to take the time to explain the plot of the play. “So? Have you spoken to him?”

“No, thank Merlin.” Anna let out a relieved laugh.

“That’s disappointing,” Gretchen said. “I thought for sure he would have asked you out again.”

“Yeah, that ‘see you around’ was super mysterious,” Anna added.

“Well, I, for one, am glad he hasn’t tried anything else,” Sarah said. “He’s not my type.”

“Oh, gorgeous isn’t your type?” Anna laughed.

“He’s not that gorgeous,” Sarah said disdainfully. She heard a soft squeak next to her. “Merlin, what is wrong with this bench?” She turned and began inspecting the empty seat but found no reason why it should be making any noise.

“Hey, we should get to class,” Anna said, checking her watch. Sarah abandoned her quest to find the source of the noise and began packing her things.

“Right. Wouldn’t want Flitwick to knock off any more points for tardiness. We’re already in last place,” she groaned, grabbing her bag and getting up. Just as she pulled her foot over the bench, she kicked against something hard and nearly tripped her way out of the seat. She paused and stared at the empty seat, willing it to do anything. When it did nothing, as benches are wont to do, she ran to catch up with her friends, giving the seat one final, suspicious glare.

***

Sirius couldn’t believe it.  _Not her type?_  How could he possibly not be her type? He was everyone’s type!

He remained at the table for a moment, absentmindedly rubbing the side of his leg where she’d kicked him, and tried to figure out the best course of action. If he genuinely wasn’t her type, then no amount of planning would change that. But he was sure that couldn’t be the case. He knew he was a good-looking boy; he’d seen girls practically fawning over him as he walked past them.

No, he was definitely her type.

It must be something else, then. She clearly didn’t like him, so perhaps she was just so blinded by her dislike that she was able to ignore his looks. Yes, that must be it.

With a determined nod, he scribbled a few notes in his handy-dandy notebook before flipping it closed and putting it back in the pocket of his robes. After grabbing a few pieces of toast, he hurried after the group of girls, munching as he ran.

***

“I was reading an article yesterday,” Gretchen blabbed as they made their way to Charms. “And it said that if you put mud in your shampoo, it’ll give your hair a really nice sheen.”

Sarah laughed. “Doesn’t putting mud in your shampoo kind of defeat the purpose of using shampoo?”

“No! Mud is a natural product!” Gretchen ranted, going on about the benefits of ‘using what Mother Nature has provided.’ Sarah’s laugh faltered when she heard an odd shuffling noise behind them. She stopped walking and listened. Gretchen and Anna continued on, oblivious to her sudden absence as they turned the corner, leaving her alone in the hallway.

Sarah stood still for a moment and listened. The noise had stopped, but she could still feel someone’s eyes on the back of her head. She took a cautious step forward, then another. After a few steps, the shuffling noise continued.

She quickly turned around, pulling out her wand and scanning the hallway.

“Who’s there?” She called out. No reply.

A moment later, a group of girls turned the corner and entered the hallway. Sarah lowered her wand and watched the girls for a moment. She shook her head, figuring she’d just imagined the noise, and put away her wand before hurrying down the hallway to catch up with her friends.

***

All day, Sarah felt eyes on her. She tried to brush it off as just paranoia, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone really was there, watching her.

In charms, she could hear a constant scribbling. But when she looked, no one around her was writing. It only seemed to happen when she spoke, and, for one brief, mad moment, she thought it must be coming from her throat. She dismissed that thought, however, when she realised that it wasn’t happening  _while_  she spoke, but  _after_.

She was so preoccupied with trying to find the source of the scribbling that she nearly lost points for being distracted, and she was only able to focus long enough to cast the Hidden Homes spell once during the entire two-hour lesson.

After charms, she, Anna, and Gretchen made their way up to the North Tower for Divination. Once again, as they walked through the hallway, Anna could hear a shuffling behind her, although it was easier to dismiss this time, as the halls were mostly filled with students. She did feel, however, someone constantly brushing up against her, despite the fact that no one was close enough to have touched her.

In class, Professor Sprecher only made Sarah’s paranoia worse.

“Oh, dear,” he mumbled, looking into her empty teacup. She scrambled to peer in, worried she’d see a demon dog or something. But all she saw a blob. “You’ve got a cat  _and_  an umbrella. That’s not a good sign at all!”

“Um, Professor,” Sarah said slowly, still trying to make out anything even remotely resembling a cat or an umbrella. “What does that mean, exactly?”

“Dark times ahead. Betrayal, sadness…  _death_.” He whispered the last word. Sarah felt the colour drain from her face and stared into her mug, trying to identify any discernible shape.

“Yikes, Sarah,” Gretchen muttered when the gloomy teacher walked away to spread more doom unto other students. “That’s some shitty tea you’ve got there.”

“Do you think that’s really what it means?” Sarah asked, biting her bottom lip nervously.

Anna scoffed. “Sarah, he’s a complete nutter. In literally every class he tells someone they’re going to die.”

“Technically, he’s not wrong,” Gretchen commented lightly as she poured herself some more tea. “We’re all going to die someday.”

“Wow, way to lighten the mood, Gretch,” Anna grumbled.

“I’m just saying!”

Sarah ignored her bickering roommates and reached for her quill. She frowned, though, when she realised it wasn’t there. She looked under her book, under her desk, in the pockets of her robes — nothing. Maybe she’d just put it back in her bag without remembering? She bent over, rifling through her things, but found no sign of her quill.

When she sat back up, there it was, sitting right where she left it just to the right of her notebook. She stared at it, certain it wasn’t there a moment ago. She looked around, thinking that maybe someone behind her had just borrowed it for a moment. But there was no one close enough to have taken the quill without her seeing.

 _What the Hell is going on?_  She thought to herself as she cautiously picked it up, sending a suspicious glance at the surrounding area.

***

 _Bollocks_ , Sirius thought as the tip of his quill snapped against the page of his notebook.  _How am I supposed to take notes now?_  He looked around and spotted her quill lying unused on her desk.  _Maybe I could just borrow hers for a second._

As soon as Sarah turned to her friends, Sirius slipped his hand under the cloak and grabbed the quill. _Just a few quick notes_ , he thought, scribbling hurriedly in his notebook.

He looked up in horror, realising all too late that she’d noticed the missing quill before he could put it back. He tiptoed around her desk and waited for her to bend over and rummage through her bag before stealthily replacing the quill. He held his notebook tightly against his chest, hoping she would just accept the quill’s sudden return and not ask too many questions.

He watched her frown, watched her look around, and watched her sceptically pick up the quill; he let out a sigh of relief. That was close. There was no way he could borrow her quill again. She was already too suspicious without him adding missing quills to the list.

He slid over to a Slytherin’s desk and plucked the quill from the confused boy’s hand before moving back over to Sarah and continuing his diligent note-taking.

***

During lunch, Sirius learned a very important tidbit of information. Sarah Hughes was newly single.

“So…I hear Greg has a new girlfriend,” Anna said, eyeing Sarah cautiously.

Sarah shrugged. “Good for Greg.”

“You’re not upset?” Gretchen asked with a frown. “You two were together for a while.”

“Please,” Sarah laughed lightly. “Five months is hardly a while. Besides, I’m over him.”

“Really?”

“Yes. He’s rude, conceited, a terrible kisser, and, when he’s not in his robes, he only ever wears tie-dye.”

 _Note to self_ , Sirius jotted down.  _DO NOT WEAR TIE-DYE. Also, find out what tie-dye is._

“He doesn’t only wear tie-dye,” Gretchen laughed. “He wore that pink suit once.”

Sarah leaned to the side, putting on an offended frown and raising a finger. “It was ma-gen-ta,” she said in a mock-insulted voice. The three of them burst out laughing at the inside joke, and Sirius found himself smiling at the sound.

 _She has a nice laugh_ , he thought to himself. An image popped into his mind of her laughing at something he said, her hand lightly brushing against his arm. Immediately, he frowned, shaking the thought away. He had to stay focused.

“Anyway,” Sarah said, her laughter dying down to a soft chuckle. “I don’t care that he’s dating someone else; I just feel sorry for the girl. Who is it, anyway?”

“Cassidy Corks. Third-year Ravenclaw.”

“Fuck, he’s dating a Third year?” Sarah asked with a disgusted curl of her lip. Sirius couldn’t help but agree with the disgust. “I knew he was a creep, but that’s a bit much, even for him.”

“Yeah, Thomas, her older brother, is really unhappy about it,” Anna said. “I heard he’s planning to kick his arse. I’ll try to find out when so you can go watch.”

Sarah laughed. “Thanks. I wouldn’t mind seeing someone demolish that creep, with or without magic.”

As the topic slowly shifted to homework, Sirius tuned them out and nibbled at the plate of mac and cheese sitting in his lap as he went over his notes. He’d gathered a good bit of information, but there were still a few pieces of the puzzle missing. He didn’t know much about what she liked to do for fun, for example, and that was incredibly important. How was he supposed to plan for their date if he didn’t know what she would want to do?

 _No matter,_  he thought.  _There’s still plenty of time._

He looked up from his notebook and found himself staring at Sarah. He cocked his head to the side, studying her. She was certainly pretty, with dark, loose curls framing her face and big, blue eyes hiding behind thick, black glasses. She had long eyelashes that seemed to always flick against the lenses of her glasses, making her constantly adjust them on her nose. When she smiled, a single dimple formed on her left cheek, and she had a nice patch of freckles on her nose.

He frowned, trying to figure out why he never noticed her before. He knew who she was, of course, but he always seemed to just gloss over her. Maybe it was because of how quiet she was. He was a man of action, constantly getting in trouble, playing pranks, and joking around. She, on the other hand, was studious, never doing anything outside of her classwork and never breaking from the norm.

He shook his head. It didn’t matter that he’d never noticed her much before this. All that mattered now was getting her to notice him.

***

After lunch, Gretchen and Anna broke away from Sarah, the two of them heading for the Hufflepuff common room while she made her way to the library, completely alone.

 _Perfect_ , Sirius thought.  _Now I can see what she’s like when she’s by herself._

He quietly followed her down the hallways, tiptoeing behind her the whole way until they landed in the back of the library. To his surprise, she made her way over to a table with none other than Remus Lupin.

“Hey, Remus,” Sarah said with a smile.

“Hey, Sarah,” he replied, moving his books over so she could sit next to him. “How are you?”

 _What?_  Sirius thought, the stench betrayal thick in the air.  _He didn’t tell me they were friends! Oh, that wolf is going to get the arse-kicking of the century!_

Sirius stood next to them, watching for the better part of an hour. They studied quietly, exchanging only a few words every now and then when one of them was stuck on a question, but neither said anything worth writing down.

Sirius was getting bored and considered leaving. But the thought of streaking in front of McGonagall motivated him to stay and see out his plan. He had to complete his recon mission, and he didn’t want to miss a thing, even if it meant staring at her staring at a book for an entire afternoon.

He hopped to one foot, then to the other, his legs aching from standing so long. He looked longingly at the empty chair next to Remus. He stepped forward, putting his hands on the back of the chair. They were both engrossed in their homework, not paying attention to anything else. Maybe he could just…

***

Sarah looked up, startled, as the chair across from her started to scooch out from the table. Her wide, questioning eyes snapped to Remus, who had, indeed, noticed the magically-moving chair.

“Do you see that?” Sarah hissed, and the chair suddenly stopped.

“Yeah,” Remus said slowly, a crease appearing in between his brows as he stared at the now-still chair.

“I swear, weird things have been happening all day,” Sarah whispered to Remus once she was satisfied the chair had stopped moving.

“Weird things like what?” He asked curiously.

“I don’t know. Shuffling, whispers, little noises, things moving by themselves. I think someone might be following me, but every time I look there’s no one there.”

Remus tried to hide his smirk, his eyes shifting to the air around the chair. “Is that so?” He said with a knowing smile.

He suddenly turned to Sarah. “You know, you’ve probably got an assassin trying to kill you.”

Sarah let out a snort of laughter. “Shut up! I’m serious.”

“As am I! Whoever’s following you was probably sent to take you out.”

“Right,” Sarah laughed lightly. “Because I’m such an important target.”

Remus chuckled, his eyes glancing back to the chair. “Really, though, it’s probably just Peeves or something. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“Yeah,” Sarah said, still not convinced. “Oh, shoot,” she said suddenly as she checked the clock. “I have to get to class.”

“Are we still meeting at Hogsmeade this weekend?” Remus asked as she quickly gathered her things.

“Yep! I need some new books. I’ve read all of mine,” Sarah grimaced sadly.

“Good, because I’m in desperate need of some chocolate.”

“You eat way too much of that stuff.”

“And you don’t eat enough.”

Sarah laughed and hauled her bag over her shoulder. “See you Saturday.”

“See you. Try not to get assassinated on your way to class, yeah?” He called after her with a grin.

Sarah shook her head, smiling, and left the library.

A moment later, once Remus was sure she was gone, he picked up his quill and resumed his note-taking. “So, I see the stalking is going well,” he said casually to seemingly no one. 

A frustrated groan emitted from the air, and, a minute later, Sirius whipped off the cloak and finally sat down. “How many times do I have to explain this to you? It’s  _recon_ , not stalking. Merlin, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”

Remus chuckled. “It just really seems like stalking to me.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have to stalk her if you had told me you knew her in the first place! Why didn’t you say anything? You could have just told me everything I needed to know!”

Remus shrugged. “More fun to watch you struggle.”

“You are such a traitor,” Sirius shook his head with narrowed eyes.

“So,” Remus said, crossing arms and leaning back in his chair. “Learning anything interesting?”

Sirius smiled. “Loads.” He pulled out his notebook and flipped through. “Let’s see here. Fifth-year Hufflepuff. Muggle-born. One brother; younger; annoying; muggle. Loves books, dogs, roller skating, and something called a ‘disco.’ Hates firewhisky, squirrels, and swimming. Likes to cook but is apparently very bad at it.”

Remus listened as he listed off each item, nodding thoughtfully as Sirius went through everything he’d learned. “There’s one more thing she really hates,” he said casually.

“What?” Sirius asked, grabbing Remus’ quill and getting ready to jot down the tidbit.

“You,” Remus grinned.

“Ha,” Sirius glowered, tossing the quill down. “Funny. Really, though, she’s quite pretty. And very funny for a Hufflepuff. I might ask her out for real once the bet’s over.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “I would avoid the phrase ‘for a Hufflepuff’ when you’re talking to her.”

Sirius chuckled. “Of course, of course.” He flipped his notebook closed and put it back in his robes. “I have to go. Her roommate’s got a free period now, and I was hoping to ask her a few questions while Sarah’s not around. Get some more intel and all that.”

“Spoken like a true stalker,” Remus said with a smile, laughing as he dodged the fist heading for his face.

***

“I’m telling you, there’s something weird going on,” Sarah said to Gretchen as they left Ancient Runes. They were on their way to meet up with Anna, and Sarah was telling Gretchen about the weird noises, the missing quills, and the feeling of being watched. Not one to be swept away by conspiracy theories, Gretchen just brushed past Sarah’s complaints.

“It’s probably just Peeves trying to sneak up on you,” she said rationally. 

“Peeves doesn’t sneak,” Sarah pointed out. “He floats up, throws a bucket of water at you, and runs off laughing. The little prick,” Sarah sulked, remembering the incident from second year.

Gretchen snorted. “Okay, so maybe it’s not Peeves. That doesn’t mean there’s someone following you.”

“So, how do you explain the squeaking bench?”

“It’s an old school, Sarah. Old things squeak.”

“And the shuffling noise?”

“Your own robes brushing against your legs when you’re walking.”

“And the missing quill?”

“It wasn’t missing; it was right where you put it.”

“It wasn’t!” Sarah burst out, the paranoia making her testy. “It was gone, and then it just reappeared!”

Gretchen rolled her eyes. “We’re at a school for witchcraft and magic. A magically-reappearing quill isn’t exactly weird.”

“But Remus saw it, too!” Sarah huffed as they rounded the corner and headed out onto the grounds. “He saw the chair moving! Even he thinks someone is after me.” She looked around before whispering, “He said it might be an assassin.”

Gretchen laughed. “I’m pretty sure he was being sarcastic.”

“Well, yeah, he was,” Sarah said sheepishly. “But even if it’s not an assassin, there’s definitely someone after me.”

“Okay.”

“And when I’m murdered in my sleep tonight, maybe then you’ll believe me.”

“Okay.”

“I bet you’ll be real sorry that you didn’t pay more attention to me once I’m dead.”

“Sure, I will,” came the monotone reply. Sarah glared. “Merlin, look!” Gretchen exclaimed, nudging Sarah and pointing toward a large oak tree next to the lake.

Anna was sitting right where they agreed to meet, and, crouching next to her was one Sirius Black, chatting away animatedly and writing things down in a little red notebook.

“What do you reckon they’re talking about?” Gretchen asked with interest.

“You see?” Sarah cried, pointing at the boy. “He asked me out, and I said no, and now he’s moving on to poor Anna! He’s nothing more than a womanising fiend!”

Gretchen raised a brow. “Are you sure you aren’t jealous, Sarah?”

“Ha! That’s funny, Gretch. I’m not jealous; I just don’t want him subjecting one of my best friends to another one of his stupid antics.”

“Geez,” Gretchen breathed out. “You really don’t like him.”

“You know I don’t.”

“All because of what he said in third year?”

“Yes. No. I mean, it’s not just that,” Sarah said with a dejected frown. “He’s arrogant and mean, and he acts like he can do whatever he wants, and he picks on everyone, and he pretends like he’s  _so cool_ and that the rest of us  _plebeians_  should just kiss the ground he walks on.”

“Oh, come on, Sarah.” Gretchen pushed Sarah’s arm playfully. “He’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? He’s constantly doing something stupid and getting in trouble and causing mischief.”

“He’s just trying to have some fun.”

“Yeah, sure. Meanwhile, the rest of us try to survive in the aftermath of his stupid pranks.”

“Merlin, you are so dramatic,” Gretchen laughed loudly, attracting the attention of the topic of their conversation. Sirius looked up and, spotting them, hastily put his notebook away as the two girls made their way over.

“Anyway,” Sarah heard him say to Anna. “It’s been a real pleasure talking with you, Anna. And remember — it’s our little secret.”

“Of course, Sirius,” Anna smirked, her eyes glancing over at her approaching friends. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey, Anna. Sirius,” Gretchen said flirtatiously.

“Gretchen,” Sirius said with a wink. His eyes snapped to Sarah and his smile softened slightly. “Hello, again, Sarah.”

“Black,” Sarah said with a glare.

“How are you on this beautiful day?” 

“Fine,” she said, crossing her arms.

“Actually,” Gretchen said with a mischievous grin. “She thinks someone is following her.”

“Is that so?” Sirius said with an amused smile. 

“Well, I don’t even know if —” Sarah started, faltering slightly.

“She thinks it’s an assassin sent to murder her,” Gretchen chuckled.

Sirius looked at her with mock seriousness. “Oh, dear. Well, we can’t have the prettiest girl in school getting murdered, now can we?” Anna stifled a giggle behind him. “I suppose I’ll just have to be your personal bodyguard, then.”

Sarah let out a derisive laugh. “That won’t be necessary, Black.”

“You should take him up on his offer, Sar,” Anna called out from where she sat. “I’ve heard Sirius has saved lots of girls before.”

“It’s true,” Sirius beamed.

“What, from assassins?” Gretch asked with wide eyes.

“Well…no. Not exactly.”

“Let me guess. You saved them when one of your pranks back-fired?” Sarah asked with a raised brow.

“The circumstances are irrelevant,” Sirius said with an easy grin. “What’s important is that they’re all happy, healthy, and alive. Thanks to me.”

Sarah let out a short laugh. “Right. I think I’ll pass.”

“Wow, facing an assassin all on your own, then? Looks like someone’s secretly a Gryffindor,” Sirius gave Sarah a knee-weakening smile. Sarah just glared.

“Well, ladies,” Sirius said after a slight pause. “I’m afraid my presence is needed elsewhere. It was wonderful seeing you again, Sarah. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” He smiled at the girls, his eyes lingering a bit longer than they should have on Sarah’s, and, with a small bow, he left them alone.

“What were you talking to Black about?” Sarah hissed at Anna as soon as he was out of earshot.

“Oh, you know,” Anna said with a secretive smile. “Just life. Now, did either of you bring your Potions book? I forgot mine, and I haven’t even started on my paper.”

Sarah gave her a suspicious glare before pulling out her Potions book, all thoughts of Sirius Black pushed out of her mind completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some Sarah! I'm still fleshing her out a bit, but I like her so far. 
> 
> This chapter was a lot of fun to write! And I'm going to try to keep chapters a bit longer like this now that the actual story has started.


	4. Step Two: Laying the Groundwork

**_Step Two: Laying the Groundwork._ **

_Compliment her. Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her how lucky any guy would be to be with her. Make your interest in her known._

***

The library was quiet, the only sounds coming from the soft whispering of pages being turned and the sharp scratching of quills on parchment. At this time of day, there were only a handful of students in the room, all of whom respected the library enough to keep the noise to a minimum.

Two such occupants were sitting at their usual table toward the back of the library, quietly going over their homework.

“Do you understand any of this?” Sarah asked with a sigh. They’d been covering the more advanced theories in Transfiguration, and all of it was going straight over her head. She understood the practical aspects, of course, but the theoretical was a whole different story.

“Only parts of it,” Remus confessed.

“Great,” Sarah muttered, letting her head drop onto her chest in defeat. “It doesn’t help that McGonagall’s using the most ancient texts ever to explain this.”

“Actually,” Remus perked up. “Lily was telling me about this book that’s supposed to be really helpful.” He flipped through his notebook, skimming through the pages until he found what he was looking for. “Aha, here we are.  _Vanishing and the Theories Behind_ it by Camille Sweets. She said it lays everything out quite clearly.”

“Couldn’t hurt to give it a shot,” Sarah said, writing the name down. “Anything’s better than what we’re reading now.”

Scrap in hand, she made her way over to the Transfiguration section. With a finger brushing lightly against the spines, she muttered to herself as she searched for the right book. “Sands… Silverberry… Smallflower… Starling… Aha, Sweets.”

She smiled victoriously and removed the book from the shelf, wincing slightly at the cracking noise the spine made when it opened. Leisurely flipping through the pages, she made her way back to the table, her head buried in the book. She didn’t notice, then, the tall figure standing directly in front of her until she smacked straight into it.

“Oh, excuse me,” she muttered, stepping back and looking up. A pair of grey eyes smiled down at her.

“Distracted, Hughes?” Sirius said with a smirk.

“I didn’t see you there,” she muttered, sidestepping him and continuing on.

“You know,” Sirius said much too loudly as he followed behind her. “It’s dangerous to read and walk. You could really hurt someone.”

“Yes, but I didn’t,” she said.

“You nearly hurt  _me_ ,” he said, his face crumbling into a pout. “You’re lucky you weren’t walking any faster. You could have run me down and sent me to the hospital wing!”

“Next time I’ll make sure to sprint,” she huffed, arriving at the table and sitting down angrily.

“Hey, Moony,” Sirius grinned, pulling out an empty chair. “Mind if I join you?”

“Yes,” Sarah said.

“No,” Remus said at the same time. They looked at each other before Remus turned to Sirius. “You can join us only if you promise to be quiet. We’re trying to get our homework done.”

“I swear,” Sirius said, holding up one hand and placing the other over his heart. “You won’t hear a peep out of me. Not one peep. The whole time I’m here, I promise not —”

“Black,” Sarah grumbled.

“Sorry, sorry. Not a peep.” He mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the imaginary key, grinning at them both. Remus let out a soft laugh and shook his head before returning to his paper.

They studied in silence… for about thirty seconds.

“So, what are you two working on?” Sirius asked.

Sarah glared at him. “I thought you weren’t going to peep.”

“I got bored,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“Well, maybe if you were actually doing something, you wouldn’t get bored.”

“I haven’t got anything to do.”

“So go find something to do and leave us alone.”

“But then I wouldn’t get to be in your extraordinary company,” Sirius smiled.

“Well, our  _extraordinary company_ ,” Sarah said through clenched teeth. “Are trying to get work done.”

“Sirius, maybe you should go find James,” Remus said with a tired smile. He didn’t have the energy to deal with their bickering. “We’ve got some things that we really need to get done today.”

“Fine,” Sirius sighed. “But before I leave, Sarah, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Sarah raised a brow. “What is it?”

“You see, I think we —” He stopped abruptly and looked at Remus with a scowl. “Do you mind, Moony? We’re trying to have a private conversation here.”

Remus let out a long sigh. “I’ll just go get a book or something,” he muttered before disappearing into one of the stacks.

“What is it, Black?” Sarah asked when he was gone. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, waiting for him to speak. 

“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” Sirius began.

“How so?”

“You don’t seem to like me very much,” Sirius said with a soft laugh.

“Very perceptive of you,” Sarah said with a nod.

“That may be my fault —”

“It’s entirely your fault.”

“— and I’d like for us to start over.”

Sarah frowned. “Why?”

“There’s something… intriguing about you,” Sirius said, his eyes squinting as he appraised her. 

“I don’t know what that means,” Sarah said, shaking her head slightly. 

Sirius chuckled. “I just mean I’d like to get to know you. You seem like a decent girl to know.”

“Oh,” Sarah blinked. “Thank you, I guess.”

“Anyway,” Sirius leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table in front of him. “Since we’re starting over —”

“I never agreed to that.”

“— I’d like to begin by apologising.”

Sarah paused. Was he going to apologise for third year? She didn’t even realise he knew that she’d heard what he said. “Apologise for what?”

“The other day,” he said. She frowned, unsure of what he meant. “When I asked you out,” he clarified.

“Oh,” she said, surprised. That’s not at all what she was expecting.

“You see,” Sirius began, launching into the monologue he’d practised oh-so-many times. “I fear I may have been a bit hasty. I was just so enraptured by your beauty, and I got a bit carried away. But, I’ve realised that you’re a person with thoughts and feelings. And, for now, I just want to get to know the beautiful soul _inside_ the beautiful girl.”

A snort came from one of the stacks, and Sirius glared at the boy hiding behind the books.

Sarah stared at him. “Um,” was all she managed.

“You don’t have to say anything now,” Sirius said quickly, worried she might immediately reject him, putting a wrench in his entire plan. “But I’d really like it if we could be friends. Perhaps get to know each other a bit better.”

“Um,” Sarah said again, her mind racing. She’d always thought he was so mean, so blatantly unconcerned with the feelings of others. She’d watched him barrel through life, knocking people over and taking what he wanted, and she’d never wanted any part in that. But now… he seemed so genuine with his wide, grey eyes staring up at her as though begging her to accept.

“I guess,” she said, at last, her voice wavering with uncertainty. 

“Excellent,” Sirius said, his face breaking out into a grin. He stood. “Well, new friend, I’ll let you get back to your studying. You can come out now, Moony,” he called to the books.

“Bye, Sarah,” he said with a wink before turning and walking away, leaving a very confused Sarah to recount the story to Remus, who was having trouble keeping his laughter quiet enough to not get kicked out of the library.

***

“Do you think we’ll have time to fix our Flutterby bushes?” Anna asked, nervously chewing on her thumbnail. She, Gretchen, and Sarah were standing outside of the greenhouses with the rest of their classmates, waiting for the start of Herbology. The week before, they’d worked on potting and pruning the Flutterby bush, which they would be feeding to the Chinese Chomping Cabbage in today’s lesson.

Anna, who was notoriously bad at herbology, had practically shredded her Flutterby bush last week in an overzealous attempt at pruning. She’d been praying to every God out there that it had somehow grown enough in the last few days to be useable, lest she incur the wrath of their head of house, Professor Sprout. The normally bubbly woman was a terror when it came to her plants, and Sarah was thankful to have never messed up so badly to have been on the receiving end of one of the woman’s infamous  _disappointed glares._

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” Sarah said, giving her friend a sympathetic smile. Poor Anna had seen her fair share of those glares, and Sarah pitied the girl for it. “She said the Flutterby bush grows quickly, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“It doesn’t grow that quickly,” Gretchen said with a judgmental raise of her brow.

“Can you just be supportive?” Anna snapped.

“Do you want me to be supportive or realistic?” Gretchen put a hand on her hip. “I mean, you practically hacked it to bits.”

“Why do you always have to be so negative?”

“I’m not being negative.”

“Yes, you are!”

“I’m just saying, don’t get your hopes up that it’ll have grown back.”

“Merlin, Gretchen, can’t you just be a good friend for once?”

“I’m always a good friend!”

Sarah rolled her eyes as the back-and-forth continued. For best friends, the two of them were always quibbling about the smallest, most inane things, and she’d learned long ago not to get involved; they would eventually work it out themselves.

Stepping away from the heated argument about who-even-knows-what, Sarah leaned up against a large oak tree just off the path. She smiled as a cool breeze brushed across her face, bringing with it the scent of freshly fallen leaves. She always loved Hogwarts in the autumn. The changing colours, the chill in the air, the growing spookiness as Halloween neared — it was her favourite time of year.

The sound of her arguing friends interrupted her quiet reverie, and she frowned, trying to block them out and focus on enjoying the warm sun on her face.

Back in the castle, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter were making their way down to the greenhouses. Remus had just finished telling the rest of them about Sirius’ little monologue earlier that day, and James was having a hard time believing that it actually worked.

“So you’re telling me,” James said with a sceptical frown. “That that bloody ‘beautiful soul/beautiful girl’ nonsense actually worked?”

“Of course, it worked,” Sirius said, as though it were obvious. “I wooed her with my poetic words, and she agreed to give me a chance. What are you not getting here, Prongs?”

“To be fair,” Remus interjected. “I’m pretty sure she didn’t know what she was agreeing to. She sounded pretty confused about it after you left.”

“What? She talked to you about it?” Sirius said, practically hopping up and down with excitement. “What did she say?”

“Not much,” Remus shrugged. “Just that you’re really weird. And a bit annoying.”

James laughed. “What’s that about wooing, eh?”

Sirius glared for a moment before breaking out into a cocky smile. “How’s it going with Evans?”

James raised his chin in defiance. “It’s going quite well, actually.”

“Oh?” Sirius said with mock-innocence. “That’s weird. Because I could have sworn I saw her hexing a certain someone before lunch.”

“Wasn’t me,” James shrugged, looking away.

“Why are you limping, then?” Remus asked.

“I’m not,” James snapped, struggling to walk normally. 

“You should really try taking a page out of my book, James,” Sirius said with a self-satisfied sigh. “She might find me weird and annoying, but at least my plan is working. I’m already moving on to Step Two.”

“What’s Step Two, again?” Peter asked, huffing a bit from trying to keep up with his long-legged friends.

“I’m glad you asked, Wormy,” Sirius said, slinging an arm around the boy’s broad shoulders. “Today, I begin complimenting her.”

“Good luck with that,” James said bitterly. “I’ve been complimenting Evans for ages, and it’s never worked.”

“That’s because you just throw random compliments out there and hope they stick,” Sirius said. “You have to come up with the perfect compliment for any situation, and be ready to strike when the time is right.”

“Speaking of which,” Remus said as they walked down the stone steps, the greenhouses coming into view. Standing against a tree just away from everyone else was Sarah, her eyes closed and a soft smile playing at her lips. “What’s the perfect compliment for standing outside the greenhouses?”

“Oh, hang on,” Sirius said, rummaging through his bag. “Aha!” He said, pulling out a folded piece of parchment. He only had it for a moment before James ripped the paper from his hands. He let out a loud laugh as soon as he began reading, drawing Sarah’s attention.

“What is it?” Remus asked with a curious smile.

“He’s got a list of com—”

“Shh!” Sirius said, hurriedly shushing his friend. “She’s right there,” he whispered, frantically looking over to Sarah. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw that she’d already looked away.

“What are you trying to do, let her know about the plan?” He hissed, snatching the list back.

“Sorry,” James said without an ounce of regret. “It’s a bloody list of compliments,” he said more quietly.

“Seriously?” Remus asked with a chuckle, looking over Sirius’ shoulder at the parchment. “‘You have nice ankles. You smell like honey and jam. You’re like a cheetah.’ How could you even use that one naturally?”

“If we were playing quidditch, I thought,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“She doesn’t even play quidditch,” Remus said pointedly.

“Oh, there’s Evans,” James said, spotting the red-headed love of his life in the throng of students waiting outside of the greenhouses. “Mind if I use some of those?”

“I do mind, actually,” Sirius said, clutching protectively at the parchment.

“Too late; I already have them memorised.” James stuck out his tongue before running down the rest of the steps. “Oh, Evans!” Came his sing-song call.

“Dammit, James! Get your own!” Sirius shouted after him. Peter raced along, giggling as he went.

“Hey, Sarah,” Remus called as they passed the girl.

“Hey, Remus,” Sarah replied with a smile. Her smile dropped slightly when she saw Sirius. She wasn’t exactly sure how to speak to him now. She still didn’t like him, but she’d agreed to be friends with him, so she figured she had to at least make some sort of effort.

“Black,” she said with a slight nod. The scowl she normally reserved just for him was replaced by an apprehensive frown.

“Sarah,” Sirius smirked. “Surely, we’re on a first-name basis now. I mean, we’re friends. Right?”

Sarah thought for a moment. “Um, yeah, I guess so.” She paused. “Sirius,” she muttered. Sirius beamed.

“Did you have a nice lunch?” he asked.

“Yeah, thanks,” Sarah said. After another pause, she added tentatively, “Did you?”

“Very pleasant, thank you,” he said easily. “I had the most wonderful view of the Hufflepuff table. Got to watch a very beautiful girl the whole time.” He gave her a flirtatious wink.

Remus rolled his eyes, and Sarah blushed, looking away awkwardly.

“Looks like it’s time to go in,” Remus said, nodding to the greenhouses. Sure enough, there was Professor Sprout, unlocking the door and sauntering in, her dragon-hide gloves already on her hands.

“After you, my lady,” Sirius said with a bow, gesturing for Sarah to go ahead.

She looked at him quizzically. “You’re being weird.”

“No weirder than normal, I assure you,” Remus smirked.

***

Sirius Black, Sarah decided, was, in fact, a total weirdo.

It started out small. In Herbology, Professor Sprout had told them to get into pairs to work with the Chinese Chomping Cabbage. Anna and Gretchen had immediately grabbed onto one another, giving each other a firm nod and leaving Sarah to fend for herself.

Before she even had time to look around, however, Sirius slid into the seat next to her.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“I believe it’s called sitting,” he grinned.

She rolled her eyes. “I meant what are you doing here?”

“Didn’t you hear? We’re supposed to find a partner.”

“Why aren’t you working with Remus? Or Potter? Or Pettigrew? Or literally anyone else?”

“Well,” Sirius began, propping his elbow on the table and resting his chin in his hand. “Remus and James are working together, and Peter is… well, Peter.”

Sarah found herself chuckling softly. The hopeless boy was well-known for being a terrible partner, as he had a dreadful habit of pushing all the hard work onto the other person while keeping the finishing touches for himself, earning him all of the glory for the final product.

“Besides,” Sirius continued. “I’d never pass up the opportunity to work with the prettiest girl in school.”

Sarah blushed and looked away quickly.

Throughout the entire lesson, it was as though he’d found any and all excuses to compliment her.

When she poured the soil into the new pot, he said, “Wow, you didn’t even need to measure it. You’re amazing at this!”

When she unpotted the Cabbage and put it in its new home, he exclaimed, “Wow, it didn’t even bite you once. You’re a natural!”

When she trimmed the leaves from the Flutterby bush and fed them to the Cabbage, he admired, “Wow, you knew exactly how much to give it. You’re so nurturing!”

The compliments didn’t stop with Herbology. All week, he would find her and shower her with adulations.

When Sarah was outside on the grounds, Sirius ran up to her, presenting her with a single flower, its red petals fluffed in a perfect circle. “It was impossible to find a flower as beautiful as you are, but this one was close.”

In the third-floor corridor, Sirius caught her talking to one of the portraits. The portrait in question was Juliana, a beautiful princess who was a well-known distraction for all of the boys in school, as her clearly-displayed bosom took up most of whichever frame she was in. Sirius, however, only had eyes for Sarah. “You’re prettier than a picture, you know that?”

When she arrived late to potions, Sirius turned around, his face breaking into a smile. “Ah, there you are. I thought the room felt brighter,” he said with a wink.

By the end of the week, Sarah was awash with conflicting feelings. On the one hand, she loved the compliments, and her ego was thoroughly stroked. On the other hand, she was suspicious as hell. The boy who she’d sworn to loathe for all eternity was now not only apparently her friend but was also appearing out of nowhere, always armed with a different bit of admiration.

“He’s got to be cursed or poisoned or something, right?” Sarah ranted to her friends as they made their way to Defence Against the Dark Arts.

“Sarah,” Gretchen said as though she was an idiot. “It’s called flirting.”

Anna sniggered. “That’s when someone compliments you and —”

“I know what flirting is,” Sarah snapped as her roommates giggled to one another. “But this is not flirting. Flirting is subtle. It’s when he leans in close, when he smiles, when he shows off a bit. This is something else entirely.”

“I mean, he seems pretty smiley,” Anna said.

“And he’s still as much of a show-off as ever,” Gretchen added.

“Maybe this is the Sirius Black version of flirting.”

“Yeah, but,” Sarah said, completely unsure. “This is different. Not normal, at all. It’s almost as bad as Potter with Lily Evans.”

“Ew, don’t look now,” Gretchen muttered. They’d just arrived at their classroom, and there, standing outside the room, was Greg Dovetail, ex-boyfriend extraordinaire, leaning against the wall and smiling down at his new girlfriend.

“Gross,” Sarah muttered, turning away from the repugnant couple.

“He does know she’s 13, right?” Gretchen sneered. “Has she even gone through puberty yet?”

“Who’s gone through puberty?” Sirius asked, walking up to the group of girls.

“Cassidy over here,” Anna whispered, nodding to the couple.

“She’s a bit young, isn’t she?” James asked as he came to stand beside his friend.

Sirius frowned. “That’s your ex, right?” He asked Sarah. She nodded. He thought for a moment, staring at the couple. “He messed up, breaking up with you. Seriously, what a downgrade.”

Sarah felt herself smile slightly. “Thanks,” she muttered.

Sirius grinned. “Any guy would be lucky to be with you.”

Sarah fought the urge to smile even more. “Come on, it’s time to go in,” she said, grabbing Anna and Gretchen and walking into class.

Sirius turned to James. “And that’s how it’s done, Prongsy,” he said, giving him a cocky smile before following the girls into the room. 

During their lesson, Professor Poults had them working on duelling. Sarah was relieved to be paired with Remus, who was a wonderful person to duel. He always made sure to give just enough attack without being aggressive. She noticed that Sirius was looking miffed about being paired with Peter.

After a few rounds, they switched partners, and Sarah was paired with Lily. Once again, her eyes strayed over toward Sirius, and she saw that he was paired with Greg. As they bowed, Sirius grinning maliciously, never taking his eyes off of the boy. Before Greg had even bent all the way back up, Sirius hit him with a shocking blow that sent him to his knees, clutching at his stomach. She caught Sirius’ eye, and he winked at her.

Finally, after three more duels, it was time for the two of them to face off.

“I hope you’re ready,” Sarah said with a teasing smile. “I never miss.”

“Neither do I,” Sirius grinned wolfishly.

The two of them bowed, their eyes locked on one another. When they were upright again, there was a slight pause. Then, the duel began.

Sirius shot the first  _expelliarmus_ , and Sarah easily dodged it. She countered with an  _immobulus_ , which he blocked with no effort. This went on for a long time, each of them throwing spells and blocking what came their way. At one point, Sirius managed to make Sarah fall, but she quickly rolled out of the way of his next spell and was back on her feet in no time. She shot a blast of fire, singeing his tie slightly, but he was back in the game after a brief second.

After a while, Sarah noticed that the room had gone quiet as all of the other partners had finished their duels, and she and Sirius were the last pair standing. Professor Poults didn’t stop them, and, as they continued, a small ring of onlookers wrapped around them, everyone captivated as they watched the colourful spells ricochet off of each other.

She hit him with hex after hex, all fired in rapid succession, but he dropped to the floor, dodging each of them. They both fired a spell at the same time, their magic connecting and spitting glowing embers over the onlookers.

His next  _expelliarmus_  hit her hand, sending her wand flying. He stepped back, smiling and ready to accept his victory. Her eyes narrowed, and she put her hand out. A flash of light shot from her palm, and his eyes widened in surprise as he quickly threw up a shield charm. She took his brief moment of shock to retrieve her wand, and she was back in the running.

Half an hour had gone by. Sarah’s arms were tired, her throat was raspy from shouting so many spells, and she was all but dripping in sweat, her glasses slipping down her nose, but she couldn’t quit. The look of determination in Sirius’ eyes gave her her own sense of conviction, and she knew the only way they would stop was when one of them got hit.

Finally, the moment came. As Sarah threw a spell, Sirius’ footing slipped just slightly, and the spell landed square in his chest, sending him flying. He hit the wall hard and crumpled to the ground, little bits of rock falling around him. Sarah gasped, her eyes wide with concern, and she rushed over to check on him.

“Shit,” she muttered, checking him over for any serious injuries. “Are you okay?”

“Nice work, Hughes,” Sirius smirked, a small trickle of blood dribbling from a cut on his forehead. “You’re better than I thought you’d be.”

She smiled at him. For the first time in her life, felt admiration for him. She knew he was a skilled wizard; she’d seen him flawlessly hex people plenty of times. But seeing him block curse after curse gave her a new appreciation for his skills.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Sarah smirked, helping him to his feet. They stood close for a moment, their hands still clasped. She looked up into his eyes and felt a heat rise to her cheeks. He was obviously a handsome boy, but seeing him this close…

“All right,” Professor Poults said. Sarah jumped back, his voice bringing her back to reality. “I think that’s enough for one day. Make sure to look over proper duelling stance, as we’ll be continuing this exercise every now and then.”

As the circle of students dissipated, Sirius strolled over to Sarah, who was putting her things back in her bag.

“That was some duel,” he said with a grin. “Wandless magic? I’m impressed.”

“Thanks,” Sarah said, not quite meeting his eyes.

“Though, I hardly think it was fair,” he said, looking haughtily to the side.

“How?” Sarah laughed.

“Well, you were just so beautiful out there,” he said. “How could I possibly concentrate when your eyes were shining like that?”

Sarah smiled, shaking her head. “It’s not my fault you’re easily distracted.”

“Not even when you’re the distraction?”

“Especially not when I’m the distraction,” Sarah said, giving him a level look. She was normally so unsure around him. She had no idea where this sudden confidence was coming from. Maybe it was the adrenaline from the duel, maybe it was the excitement of winning, or maybe she was just tired of being a meek little girl. He was clearly playing with her, and, if he wanted to play, she could play.

She stepped forward, coming within an inch of him. A look of shock flashed across his face for a moment before his usual, mischievous smile returned. She reached out a hand and brushed her fingers against his cheek, noting the slight stubble trying to push through.

“See you around, Black,” she said, giving his cheek a light smack before walking away and rejoining her friends in the hallway.

Sirius watched her walk away, absentmindedly rubbing his cheek.  _Step Two complete_ , he thought with an impish smile before grabbing his things and leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Also, I'm still trying to set up the story a bit more, but there will be plenty of Jily later on, don't worry!


	5. Step Three: Laying Her Groundwork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! It's been a busy couple of weeks. This chapter is pretty long, though, so I hope that makes up for it!

**_Step Three: Laying_ Her _Groundwork_**

_This step is all about confidence. Girls love confidence. Get her to see your redeeming qualities. Show her why she should be interested in you._

***

“I’m telling you, boys, it went better than I ever could have expected,” Sirius said with a contented sigh as he flopped down on his bed. “It’s all going much faster than I had planned, even with James stealing half of my compliments.”

“Your compliments were rubbish,” James grumbled. He’d used quite a few from Sirius’ list, and all he got for his efforts was a bright, red, hand-shaped mark on his face. “None of them worked.”

Sirius leaned back on his elbows and smirked. “Maybe not for you. But for a genuine Casanova like myself, they worked wonders. I’m tempted to skip straight to Step Five and just ask her out. But we all know what happens when you don’t lay the groundwork properly,” he said giving James a pointed look.

“I have laid plenty of groundwork,” James said with a huff.

“Sure you have Prongy,” Sirius said with a patronising nod of his head. “Anyway, it’s time to show her exactly why she should agree to go out with me.”

“And why is that?” Remus asked, figuring he’d humour him.

“During my preliminary research,” Sirius began in a scholarly tone. “I found the exact traits that every woman looks for in a man. And I just happen to possess all of them.”

“What are they?” Peter asked seriously, obviously keen to know the secret to getting a girl. James rolled his eyes, pretending not to care. Nonetheless, he turned his head slightly, making sure to pay attention. Even Remus seemed to be mildly interested. 

Sirius noticed his roommates’ rapt attention and grinned before launching into his list, lifting a finger for each trait. “There are five things that every girl wants — culture, maturity, a sense of fun, good looks, and chivalry.”

“Why would she want you to be shivery?” Peter asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

“ _Chivalry,_ ” Sirius enunciated, rolling his eyes. “It means gentlemanly.” 

“I would hardly classify you as chivalrous,” Remus said dubiously.

“Or mature,” James laughed.

“I’ve seen handsomer.”

“You’re not particularly cultured, either.”

“And you’re not very fun.”

“I’ll have you know,” Sirius said with a glare. “That I am the most mature, chivalrous, handsome, cultured, fun guy around. I’m practically a Renaissance man, I’m so well-rounded. And I’ll prove it tomorrow. Thanks to my recon—”

“Stalking,” all three boys said in unison.

“Thanks to my _recon,_ ” Sirius said loudly over the giggling. “I know that Miss Hughes intends to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow morning. And I know exactly where to find her.” Sirius gave the boys a secretive smile, laying back on his bed and formulating his game plan.

***

**Desirable Trait Number One: Culture**

Hogsmeade weekend was always a joyous time. It was a rare occurrence that only came around once every few months, and students were careful to make the most of their time in the village. Shops were filled to the brim, laughter drifted through the streets, and coin purses were emptied as the groups of young wizards and witches bustled through the town, bringing life to the normally sleepy village.

One shop, however, remained as quiet as always. There were quite a few customers in Tomes and Scrolls, but all were silent as they browsed the shelves, pulling out books and flipping through the pages. A twinkling bell from the front of the shop drew their attention, and the sounds from the street permeated the building as the door opened.

Sarah quickly shut the door behind her, feeling guilty for breaking the silence. As soon as the door was closed, the sound was vacuumed away, the store returned to its peaceful ambience, and the patrons went back to their books.

She strolled through the store, glancing down the aisles. At last, she found who she was looking for hiding in the back corner of the ground floor, planted in one of the large, comfy chairs with his eyes glued to a book.

“Hey,” she said, dropping her bag to the floor. “Find anything good?”

Remus jumped, startled by the sudden presence. He smiled when he realised it was just her. “I did, actually,” he said, his eyes drifting back to the page. “Stapps just put out a new book analysing the relationship between religion and magic. She’s got some really great theories here.” His voice trailed off as the pages sucked him back in. 

Sarah chuckled. He had such a terrible habit of ignoring his friends every time he found a new book. She couldn’t really fault him for that, though; she had the same problem. She decided to leave him to his reading, opting instead to go find her own book to get sucked into.

“Watch my bag, will you?” She said, nudging her bag closer to his chair. Remus distractedly nodded his head, and she was sure he hadn’t even heard her.

She made a beeline for the staircase in the back of the building, bypassing every section without so much as a glance. Magical Theory, Potions, History of Magic — it was all stuff she’d learn about in school. What she was after was the Classics section.

Heading for the furthest corner of the upper floor — Muggle literature — she passed by a circle of chairs with only one occupant. She glanced at the bookworm and stopped in her tracks.

“Black?”

Sirius sat in the leather chair, foot crossed over his knee and a dusty, old book open in his lap. He looked up at her with surprise, a smile breaking out across his face.

“Oh, hello, there,” he said, closing his book and standing, not bothering to mark his page. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Yeah,” she said slowly. “I come here every Hogsmeade weekend.”

“What a coincidence; so do I!”

“Really?” Sarah asked, her brow furrowing with confusion. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here.”

“I do so love to read,” he said, looking at the bookshelves fondly and ignoring her comment. “Especially intelligent, highbrow literature.”

“Highbrow meaning…?”

“You know,” Sirius said with a glib smile. “Hankberry Fun, Shamrock Homes, Jane Bear — the classics.”

Sarah bit back a smile. _Highbrow, indeed,_ she thought. “Those are some of your favourites, then?”

“Oh, absolutely,” he said, nodding his head seriously. “Especially Jane Bear. It’s very thought-provoking.”

“Right,” Sarah said, mimicking his serious expression. “I like the part at the end when she kills the bear.”

“That’s my favourite bit,” Sirius nodded.

“I personally like Moby Duck, though.”

“Oh, that one’s wonderful,” Sirius said earnestly.

Sarah chuckled slightly. “You know, if you like those, I know of a few other books you might enjoy.”

She led him over to the Muggle Fiction section, scanning the titles and muttering as she went, until, finally, she found what she was looking for.

“Here,” she said, pulling the small book down from the shelf. “ _Pride and Prejudice._ Have you read it?”

“I haven’t,” Sirius said slowly, flipping through the pages. “What’s it about?” For someone who supposedly read a lot, he seemed suddenly apprehensive.

“It’s really amazing,” Sarah began, her eyes bright with excitement. “The writing can be a little complex, but the story itself is fantastic. It’s about this girl, Elizabeth, and Mr Darcy. Mr Darcy is really rich and a complete jerk and Elizabeth hates him, but he loves her. It’s all very complicated. Then, there’s Jane, Elizabeth’s sister, who loves Mr Bingley, and Mr Bingley loves Jane, but Mr Darcy completely bungles it all. I don’t want to say too much because I don’t want to ruin it for you, but it’s genuinely my favourite story.”

Sirius smiled as she spoke, enjoying seeing her enthusiasm. “So, it’s a love story?”

“I suppose so,” Sarah shrugged. “I mean, the main story follows Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, but there’s a lot of other stuff about betrayal and family values and Victorian society and all that.”

Sirius nodded, looking over the cover. “I’ll give it a shot.” He looked up at her, glancing at the rest of the books on the shelf beside them. “Do you know what you’ll be getting?”

“Actually,” she said, turning to the shelf. “My friend from back home was telling me about this book, _Slaughterhouse Five._ I was hoping they’d have it here because she’s absolutely raving about it.”

“Slaughterhouse?” Sirius said, his eyes wide with alarm. “Is your friend a serial killer, by any chance?”

Sarah laughed as she moved down the aisle, searching for the ‘V’ section. “That’s what I said. She assures me it’s not as gruesome as it sounds. I guess it’s about a time traveller, but he can only travel through his own life or something.”

At last, she found what she was looking for at the very bottom of the last stack. She flipped it over and read through the back cover. Sirius leaned over her shoulder, reading along with her, his breath tickling her cheek.

“Wait, so is it real?” He asked.

Sarah chuckled. “Yes, Sirius,” she said sarcastically. “A muggle man wrote a true story about how he can actually travel through time.” She rolled her eyes. “Of course, it’s not real.”

“Well, look,” Sirius said, his arm coming around her to point at the book. “It says it’s based on his life.”

“That’s doesn’t mean it’s real,” she said, turning to face him. Feeling his breath on her face, she realised just how close they were standing. Instinct told her to back up, but she fought the urge. The same nervous adrenaline she felt in Defence just the day before came rushing back, and her heart pounded. There was something exhilarating about being so close to someone she’d hated for so long. Her fingers twitched, and she felt strangely compelled to reach out and touch his cheek again.

At that moment, a bookstore clerk walked past them, glancing at the pair. Sarah stepped back instantly, embarrassed to have been caught. Not that they’d been doing anything, of course.

“Well,” she said awkwardly. “I’m going to go pay for this.”

Sirius noticed her discomfort and smirked. “I’ll come with you,” he said, stepping back and motioning for her to go ahead.

The two of them descended the stairs, books in hand, and went to grab Remus, who was still consumed by his own book. Sarah kicked him in the foot lightly, and he finally looked up.

“Oh, hey,” he said, a confused smile on his face as he noticed Sirius. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you talking about?” Sirius said, regaining his haughty air. “I’m always here.”

“I’ve literally never seen you in here.”

“Must not be very observant, then,” Sirius said through gritted teeth.

After paying for their books, they exited the bookshop, sound once again filling their ears as they set foot onto the busy street. The three of them said their goodbyes, with Sirius and Remus heading for the Three Broomsticks and Sarah heading in the opposite direction to meet up with Anna and Gretchen.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Sirius turned to Remus and began excitedly recounting what had happened.

“She’s going to say yes, I know it,” Sirius grinned. “Get ready to go streaking James, because I’m going to be winning this bet.”

Remus frowned. When he’d volunteered her to be the target of the bet, he never imagined she’d actually say yes. But he was beginning to worry she would, in fact, agree to a date with Sirius.

***

**Desirable Trait Number Two: Maturity**

“Did you see Snivellus’ face?” James laughed. “He looked like a grape ready to pop!” Beside him, Peter was practically wheezing with laughter.

Sirius chuckled. “I’ve never seen the greasy git so angry.”

Remus pursed his lips in disapproval. He’d never liked the way they treated Severus, even if he did deserve it sometimes. He’d told them over and over to leave the poor kid alone, but they never listened.

The four boys had spent the afternoon wandering around the various shops and were on their way back to the castle when they’d spotted the Slytherin leaving Dervish and Banges with a freshly repaired cauldron in his hands. James, the perpetual prankster, had shot an exploding spell right at the cauldron, shattering it into a million tiny pieces.

As they continued along the path toward Hogwarts, laughing about the encounter, Sirius spotted his Hufflepuff target and her friends up ahead.

“Oh, there’s Hughes,” he said, jogging up to meet her.

James huffed, annoyed. “What, is he just going to ditch us every time he sees her?”

“You mean like you do when Lily is around?” Remus grinned.

“Oh, come on, I’m not that bad,” James rolled his eyes.

“You’re right,” Peter said with a grin. “You’re worse.”

Up ahead, Sirius slowed when he reached Sarah. “Hey, Sarah,” he said with a slight pant. “Have you got anything interesting?” He asked, nodding to the bags in her hand.

“A few new quills, some parchment… just school things,” she shrugged.

“Oi, Padfoot,” James yelled from behind before catching up to them. “There’s Zonko’s,” he nodded to the store to their right. “I’m going to stop in for a minute. You coming?”

Sirius scowled arrogantly. “Zonko’s? Please, Prongs. I’m much too mature for that,” he said, eyeing Sarah to make sure she was listening.

“Really? I thought you said you wanted to stock up,” James said with a mischievous grin, clearly trying to undermine Sirius’ attempt to ‘demonstrate his value.’

Sirius scoffed. “Really, James, only _children_ go to Zonko’s.” He turned to Sarah. “Can you believe how childish some people can be?”

Sarah paused, looking pensively at the storefront. “Mind if I join you, Potter?”

“What?” James and Sirius said in unison.

She shrugged. “I’ve never been in. I’m curious to see what they have.”

“Of course,” James said, giving Sirius a wicked grin. “Right this way.” He held out his arm for her to take. She eyed it apprehensively before cautiously taking it. The second her hand touched his arm, he began dragging her away.

Anna and Gretchen whispered to each other, giggling. “We’ll meet you back in the castle, then?” Anna called as Sarah was dragged into the joke shop.

“Well, wait up!” Sirius yelled, scurrying along behind Sarah and James.

“I thought you were _too mature_ for Zonko’s?” James said with a raised brow.

“Well,” Sirius spluttered. “There’s no harm in looking around.”

Once in the shop, Sirius grabbed hold of Sarah’s other arm, pulling her along beside him and showing her some of his favourite items. As they made their way through the shop, Sirius stopped at some of his favourite items, explaining the genius of each one.

“This here,” he said, picking up an eyeball. “Is the spitting eyeball. Just give it a squeeze, and —” He aimed it at the wall and squeezed, sending a jet of green slim at the wall.

Sarah look disgusted but mildly impressed. “What is that stuff?”

“You don’t want to know,” Sirius mumbled with a cheeky grin.

“That’s rubbish,” James said, dismissing the item entirely. “Come, Sarah, let me show you the real good stuff.” He grinned at Sirius as he escorted the girl away, and Sirius sulked behind them.

The boys showed Sarah nearly everything in the store, presenting her with fake vomit, screaming shoes, and various other bizarre pranks. The two of them were practically at war with each other, each vying to steal the girl’s attention, Sirius for the purpose of his plan and James for the purpose of simply ruining said plan.

By the end of their tour through Zonko’s, she was thoroughly impressed with how many different types of spitting, screaming, whizzing, and exploding items there were. James had suggested she get the elephant on a bike, but Sirius had immediately replaced it with a dog on a bike, saying, “Dogs are way cooler than elephants.”

With one more bag on her arm, Sarah left the joke shop with James and Sirius right behind her. They only made it a few steps before James spotted Lily going into Honeydukes.

“I’ll catch you up,” he said, hurrying into the sweetshop and leaving the two of them alone.

“He does know she doesn’t like him, right?” Sarah asked as they continued along the path.

Sirius laughed. “He’s in denial.”

“Poor guy,” Sarah shook her head.

“Poor Evans,” Sirius corrected.

They walked in silence for a moment, the only sound being the crunch of the gravel under their feet and the distant conversations of the other students on their way back to the castle.

“You know,” Sirius said, breaking the silence. “This was supposed to be our first date.”

“What?” Sarah asked with a puzzled frown.

“Don’t you remember? I asked you to go to Hogsmeade with me,” he said, eyeing her from the side. “You said no. Yet, here we are.”

“We’re here as friends Black,” Sarah pointed out.

“Yes, but we’re still here.”

“We didn’t even come here together.”

“No, we didn’t.” He paused. “But we’re still here.”

Sarah laughed lightly. “Are you always this persistent?”

“What do you mean?” He asked, genuinely curiously.

“First all of the compliments, now this,” she said, raising a brow.

He laughed. “What, you didn’t like my compliments?”

“I didn’t say that,” she said softly.

They lulled into a comfortable silence that lasted until they reached the steps just beyond the Great Hall.

“Well, I’m going to head back to my dorm,” Sarah said.

“Yeah, me, too,” Sirius said. There was an awkward pause in which neither of them made a move to leave.

“Well,” Sarah said after a moment. “See you in class, Black.”

“I thought we were on a first-name basis,” Sirius said with a teasing grin.

She rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless as she turned and walked away.

“Sarah,” he called. She turned and looked at him questioningly. “Have a good weekend.”

“You, too,” she said. “Sirius,” she added before walking down the hallway and back to the Hufflepuff common room.

***

**Desirable Trait Number Three: A Sense of Fun**

After her last class of the day, Sarah dropped her bag off in her dorm. She wasn’t up for studying, and she wasn’t in the mood to just sit in the common room, so she decided to take a stroll through the hallways. One thing she loved about Hogwarts was the sheer oldness of it. Muggle London had its fair share of old buildings, of course, but there was nothing so amazing as the magic castle. Even after five years of it, she couldn’t get enough of it.

Her promenade was cut short, however, when a shaggy-haired boy ran up from behind her and linked his arm with hers.

“Come, Hughes,” Sirius said as he pulled her down a different hallway.

“Where are we going?” She asked, struggling only slightly.

“Top Secret Mission from Dumbledore himself,” Sirius gave her a wink.

“Am I allowed to know what this Top Secret Mission from Dumbledore is?”

“He wants to start decorating for Halloween, and he needs fifty pumpkins carved and ready to go by the end of the day,” Sirius said as they turned into the Great Hall. Sitting along the Gryffindor table were, indeed, fifty pumpkins. A few students were already sitting along the table, gutting out the gourds.

“You up for it?” Sirius asked, looking over at her. There was a slight challenge in his voice.

“Absolutely,” Sarah grinned. “I love carving pumpkins. My brother and I used to have competitions to see who could carve the best one.”

“Did you win?”

“Rarely,” she admitted. “But only because the little shit would cry about it force mum and dad to let him win.”

Sirius laughed. “Little brothers are the worst, aren’t they?”

Sirius escorted her to a section of pumpkins in the middle of the table, where James, Peter, and, surprisingly, Lily Evans were already seated. James and Lily had already begun carving their pumpkins, while Peter couldn’t quite figure out how to open his.

“You just cut, Wormtail,” James said, exasperated. He’d already explained this quite a few times, and he couldn’t figure out why the other boy couldn’t understand. “We learned Diffindo back in second year.”

“I can’t get the spell to go all the way through,” Peter whined, examining his pumpkin closely. “It goes in the top, but then it just stops. I think I have a defective pumpkin.”

James sighed, pulled out his wand, and cut the pumpkin with ease. He gave Peter an unimpressed look and returned to his pumpkin without another word. Peter blushed but began scooping out his pumpkin nonetheless.

“Budge up, Evans,” Sirius said, sliding into the seat beside her. She rolled her eyes but slid over to make enough room for him.

“Hey, Sarah,” she said, leaning past Sirius to greet the Hufflepuff. Sarah slid into the seat across from Sirius and next to James.

“Hey, Lily,” Sarah smiled. The two of them were friendly, but they’d never quite reached the Friend level. “Where’s Remus?” She asked.

“He’s not feeling well,” James said with a shrug.

“What are we all making?” Sirius quickly changed the subject, his wand already slicing into the pumpkin.

“No idea,” Peter said as he scooped the innards onto a plate.

“Just a face,” Lily answered as she delicately carved into the side of her pumpkin.

“It’s a secret,” James grinned, sniggering to himself. He was clearly tickled by what he planned to make.

“How about you, Hughes?” Sirius asked.

“Not sure,” Sarah mused as she dug her fingernails into the sides of the pumpkin, trying to get as much gloop as she could. There were so many options when it came to magical carving. With a regular knife, it was rather hard to get creative. But with a wand, the options were endless.

“You know you can use your wand for that,” Sirius said, watching her pull out her gloop-covered hand from the pumpkin.

“This is more fun,” she said. She wiggled her slimy fingers at him. He grinned and put his wand down, dipping his hand directly into the open pumpkin.

“Feels gross,” he said, wrinkling his nose. He pulled out some of the slime and flicked it at her, a fleck of orange hitting her on the cheek. She laughed and wiped it off with the back of her hand, flicking some back at him.

“Do you think if we give the seeds to the house elves they’ll roast them for us?” Lily mused.

“What?” James looked up from his pumpkin. “Why would they roast them?”

“To eat,” Lily said, looking at James as if he were an idiot.

“You can’t eat the seeds,” Sirius added.

“Yeah, they’ll grow in your stomach,” Peter said seriously.

“That’s just a myth, Peter,” Lily rolled her eyes. “You’ve heard of roasting the seeds, right, Sarah?” She turned to the Hufflepuff.

“Of course,” Sarah said with a nostalgic smile. “My mum used to do it all the time. I’ve never seen it done here, though. Could be a muggle thing.”

“So, what, you just put them on the fire and eat them?” Sirius asked with a quizzical frown.

Sarah laughed. “No. You put some salt on them and pop them in the oven.”

“Then they come out all crunchy and delicious,” Lily added, licking her lips at the thought.

“Sounds gross,” Peter muttered, curling his lips in disgust.

“I’m with Wormtail,” James said, scrunching his nose. “I don’t think I’ll be eating any seeds.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “You wizards have no idea what you’re missing out on.”

“More for us,” Lily said, grinning at Sarah.

The five of them carved in silence, each of them taking their time to get the perfect slice, the perfect hole, the perfect angle in their carving. At last, they were satisfied with their pumpkins and were ready to show each other.

“You first, Pete,” James said, turning to get a look. Peter turned his pumpkin around, and Sarah had to bit her tongue to stop from laughing. Sirius and James weren’t quite so nice, and they let out loud laughs. Peter had carved two little holes, followed by the smallest half circle just below, giving the large pumpkin a comically small face.

“Why’d you make it so small?” Lily asked, tilting her head as if trying to get a better angle.

“I couldn’t get the spell to work,” Peter said, looking at his pumpkin with a forlorn frown.

“Okay, okay, my turn,” James said, turning his pumpkin around. Instead of a traditional face, James had carved two hands and a single line down the middle.

“What’s that supposed to be?” Sarah asked, frowning in confusion.

“It’s a bum,” James said, looking at his pumpkin with a cheeky grin. “Here’re the two hands pulling it open, and here’s the cr—”

“Potter,” Lily cut him off, trying her best to look disgusted. Sarah noticed the corners of her mouth were turning up slightly. “You’re so immature,” she said, shaking her head and trying to hide her smile.

“Go on, then,” James said, urging her to show her pumpkin. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Lily turned hers around. She’d carved a surprised face, with two crescent moons for eyes, a teeny nose, and a rounded, toothy gasp of a mouth.

“It’s amazing,” James gushed. “You’re a true artist, Evans. You could be the next Picasso!”

“Isn’t Picasso known for making horribly disfigured people?” Sirius asked with an amused quirk of the brow.

“Is he?” James asked with a frown.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Thank you anyway, Potter.”

James beamed, and Sirius groaned. “Okay, moving on,” he muttered. “Your turn, Hughes.”

Sarah turned her pumpkin around to reveal the Rolling Stones logo, complete with the long tongue and full lips.

“Oh, nice choice,” Lily praised, looking at the carving with an approving nod.

“What is that?” Peter asked.

“It’s the Rolling Stones,” Sarah said, smiling proudly at her pumpkin.

“Where are the stones?” James asked. “I only see a mouth.”

Sarah and Lily laughed. “Not rolling stones,” Lily said. “The Rolling Stones. They’re a muggle band.”

“Actually, I think you’d like them,” Sarah said, turning her pumpkin back around and admiring her work. “They’re quite good. Very rock-and-roll.” Sirius made a mental note to remember the name and look them up later.

“All right, Padfoot, you’re up,” James said.

“Saved the best for last,” Sirius said, turning his pumpkin around. James immediately burst out laughing. On the side of the gourd was the most perfect replica of Professor McGonagall. Every detail was accounted for, from the raised eyebrow to the pursed lips, from the tight bun on her head to the thin glasses perched on her nose. He’d even managed to get the little, unimpressed glint in her eye that always seemed to say _I’m not putting up with your shit._

“It’s a brilliant likeness, don’t you think?” Sirius said, admiring his work. “I really wanted to create something that captured the spirit of Halloween. I can hear her now. ‘Mr Black, what are you up to?’”

“Mr Black,” came the pinched tone from behind him. “What are you up to?”

Sirius turned, startled by the sudden presence of the woman he’d just carved. He tried to stifle his laughter, as McGonagall wore an almost identical expression to his pumpkin. The rest of his companions were silent sniggering.

“Oh, hello, Professor,” Sirius said easily, unfazed by the cross look she was giving him.“Would you like to see our carvings?” He pointed to each pumpkin around the table. “Sarah’s done the Bowling Stones, Evans got a face, Peter’s done a small face,James has done a bum, and I’ve done you. What do you think?”

He looked up at her, anticipating an explosion of rage, especially at the bum and McGonagall pumpkins. She simply nodded thoughtfully, looking around at the artwork.

“I see we have a few artists in our midst. Very creative. Although, I would prefer to have pumpkins that we could actually display,” she said, staring pointedly at James’ pumpkin.

“Why can’t we display this one?” James asked, staring sadly at his pumpkin.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, Mr Potter,” she replied, looking down her nose at him. “Displaying certain body parts is quite against the rules. Perhaps you could carve something a bit less graphic. Something more like Miss Evans’, for example.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” Sirius said with a pout.

“Don’t look so disappointed, Mr Black. Your pumpkin is quite acceptable,” she said, looking over the gourd. “In fact, I just might display it outside my office, if you’ll allow me to do so.”

“Oh, it would be my honour,” Sirius said proudly, handing her the pumpkin.

Professor McGonagall studied the pumpkin in silence for a moment. “It does share a striking resemblance,” she murmured. “Thank you, Mr Black.” She said, nodding slightly before walking off, pumpkin floating in front of her.

Sirius beamed at his fellow classmates.

“Show off,” James muttered, glowering at his apparently undisplayable pumpkin.

***

**Desirable Trait Number Four: Good Looks**

Sarah shivered slightly as she made her way out to the quidditch pitch. It was a chilly day, and she wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed for the rest of the day, sipping at a mug of hot cocoa stolen from the kitchens. But she needed to get her Astronomy homework done before their next class, and Remus had borrowed her notes. She’d forgotten to get them back, so out to the quidditch pitch she trekked, hoping he’d be there acting as James’ cheerleader during his practice session.

She wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck, trying to block the bitter wind from getting into the opening of her robes. As she reached the quidditch pitch, she looked up at the stairs, silently cursing Remus for making her climb them. She avoided most games for the sole purpose of not having to climb the million stairs necessary to be able to watch.

With a resigned sigh, she began trudging up the stairs, getting winded after only a few turns. Finally, she reached the top and took a pause, taking deep breaths and forcing her lungs to cooperate. She really needed to work out more.

She stepped out into the stands and saw Remus sitting in his usual spot with Peter in a seat just below him. She was surprised that Sirius wasn’t with them. He was normally James’ most enthusiastic supporter. 

“Hey,” she said, awkwardly manoeuvring between the rows of seats and plopping down in the seat beside Remus.

“Oh, hey,” he said, a surprised smile lighting up his face. He appeared greyer than normal, and dark bags hung under his eyes.

“I missed you in class the other day. Are you feeling better?” She asked. He was sick quite often, and she was always worried about him.

Remus gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah, it was just a stomach bug. Nothing serious. Have you come to watch the practice?”

“No, actually,” she said, absentmindedly glancing at the players. She paused when she noticed who was playing. “Is that Sirius?” She asked, immediately forgetting to ask for her notes.

“Yeah,” Peter said excitedly. “Reynards got sick, so James asked Sirius to fill in. He’s great, right?”

Sarah watched the team play, her eyes locked on Sirius. Peter was right; he was amazing. He was playing as the beater, and every swing of his bat was more fantastic than the last. As the bludgers swooped around the field, occasionally chasing after the other players, Sirius zoomed after them, coming out of seemingly nowhere and whacking the balls with an impressive force.

At one point, he socked a bludger with such strength that he toppled to the side, and Sarah gasped, worried he would fall from his broom. His legs, however, clung to the pole, and he spun himself back to an upright position. Without a second’s pause, he zipped off again, chasing after another bludger. 

“He should try out for the team,” Sarah said offhandedly.

“We keep telling him to,” Remus shrugged.

He paused mid-flight, catching sight of the new member of the audience, and zipped over to the stands.

“Hey, Sarah,” he smiled, shaking the hair from his eyes. He’d put his long hair up in a messy ponytail, but little pieces still fell into his eyes, plastering themselves to his sweaty forehead. “If I knew you’d be joining us, I would have put in a bit more effort out there.”

Sarah laughed. “Well, if that’s you not putting in the effort, I’d love to see you when you actually try.”

“Challenge accepted,” he grinned, winking before he whizzed back out to the field.

Despite the chill in the air, Sarah stayed for the rest of their practice, watching the players, particularly one, chase each other around the pitch. She cheered every time James scored a goal, she gasped when a player looked like they would get hit with a bludger, and she celebrated when the snitch was finally caught. By the end of the game, she was really starting to appreciate the sport.

“That was amazing,” she said, breathless from her excitement at having seen the snitch being caught. “I might have to start coming to the real games.”

“You don’t come to the games?” Remus asked with disbelief. “I thought everyone comes.”

“Nope,” Sarah said as they began descending the stairs. “This was the first I’ve ever seen.”

“You should see a real one,” Peter said, panting breathlessly as he jogged down the stairs behind them. “They’re great! When both seekers find the snitch at the same time, it’s wicked cool. They start diving, and sometimes they come close to the stands, and one time a snitch hit a kid in the face and gave him a black eye. It was hilarious.”

Sarah chuckled. “I bet he didn’t think so,” she said as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “But I’ll have to come to the next one. Well, boys,” she said, turning to Remus and Peter. “I’m going to head back to my dorm. I’ll see you in class, yeah?”

“Don’t you want to come say Hello to Sirius?” Remus asked, nodding toward the boys’ locker room. He wore a sly smile that made Sarah a little nervous.

“I’ll pass,” she said, eyeing Remus warily. She bid the boys a good afternoon and turned, making her way back up to the castle. It wasn’t until she was halfway across the grounds that she realised that she’d been so caught up in the game that she’d completely forgotten to ask Remus for her notes. She groaned, throwing her head back in frustration, and turned once again, stomping back to the quidditch pitch.

When she got back to the pitch, Remus and Peter were nowhere to be seen. She figured they’d be in the boys’ locker room, as she didn’t see them on the path leading back to the castle. She found the room and stood outside the door. She wasn’t stupid enough to just barge in, but she really needed her notes. She figured the best course of action was to knock.

She waited patiently outside the door, hoping someone would open up. Luckily for her, someone did. Unluckily — or very luckily, if you prefer — that someone was a very shirtless Sirius Black.

“Hey, Hughes,” he smiled, leaning against the doorframe. He slipped a hand into the pocket of his trousers, which was the only bit of clothing he had on. His hair was still dripping from his shower, and little droplets slid down his shoulders, past his collarbone, and down his chest. Sarah’s eyes followed a single droplet as it slid down his stomach, and she eyed the clearly pronounced muscles under a small patch of hair.

She swallowed, and her eyes snapped up, locking in on his. She hoped he hadn’t noticed her looking, but the smirk on his face told her he had.

“Is Remus in there?” She asked, her voice higher than normal.

“Yeah, he is. Wanna come in?” He raised a brow and jerked his head back toward the locker room.

“No, thank you,” she said quickly. “Can you get him, please?” Her eyes longed to stray downward, but she kept her gaze firmly fixed on his.

“Moony,” he called over his shoulder, never taking his eyes from Sarah’s. “You have a visitor.”

Remus peeked his head around the corner and smiled when he saw Sarah.

“Oh, hey, again,” he said, coming to stand beside Sirius. He glanced at the boy beside him and rolled his eyes. “Merlin, Sirius, put some clothes on. We’re not a nudist’s colony,” he said, shoving the boy back, stepping outside, and closing the door behind him.

“What’s up?” He asked Sarah once they were alone.

“I forgot to ask you if you still had my Astronomy notes,” Sarah said, her face still uncomfortably warm. She’d relaxed slightly now that the Shirtless Wonder had left, but her heart was pounding like crazy.

“Oh, shit, yeah, I do,” Remus said, his eyes going wide. “Sorry, I completely forgot.”

“It’s fine,” Sarah said hurriedly, wanting nothing more than to get away from the quidditch pitch.

“I have them in my dorm,” Remus said, completely oblivious to Sarah’s discomfort. “If you want to wait for a couple of minutes, you can come with us and I’ll grab them for you.”

“No, no,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “I’ll just get them from you later.”

“Are you sure?” Remus asked, his brow furrowed.

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

“Okay,” Remus said slowly. “I’ll bring them to Potion’s tomorrow, then.”

“Great,” Sarah said, already turning to leave. “Thanks.”

And with that, she hurried away, her face flushed and her mind racing with thoughts of dripping water on tan skin.

***

**Desirable Trait Number Five: Chivalry**

Sarah stood at the edge of the lake, tossing stones into the water. She smiled as a tentacle broke the water’s surface, flicking a stone back at her. She’d never quite gotten used to seeing the giant squid, and it was always interesting to see just how smart the beast was.

As she watched the water’s surface return to stillness, her feet began to wander, as did her mind.

Ever since The Locker Room Incident, as she’d been referring to it, she’d been trying to make sense of her thoughts. But it seemed as though the more she thought, the more confused she’d become.

When she agreed to be friends with Sirius, she figured it would last for a day. He would go back to being obnoxious, and she’d go back to hating him. But then came the compliments, and she realised that he was serious about being friends.

_Fine,_ she’d thought. _I can handle being friends._ Besides, maybe she’d just misjudged him and he wasn’t as bad as she’d thought. After all, he had made her laugh at nearly every occasion, and he was clearly fun to be around.

But then, standing in Defence just inches away, she’d felt a fluttering that she’d never felt before. She felt it again in the bookshop, standing together in the secluded aisle. And again on the way back to Hogsmeade. As they carved pumpkins together, the fluttering had turned to a warmth, and she realised that she genuinely enjoyed being around him.

Standing outside the locker room, however, the warmth turned to a raging fire in the pit of her stomach. She’d always found him attractive. How could she not, with those wicked eyes and mischievous smile?

But this was different. Never before had she felt such a pull toward someone, not even when she was dating Greg. She thought that maybe it was because she’d just never really liked Greg. But, if that were true, that would mean that she actually _liked_ Sirius.

She kept trying to remind herself of how arrogant, reckless, and downright cruel he could be. She’d seen him with Severus Snape, and she’d seen him with the other Slytherins. He could be absolutely vicious when he wanted to be. She’d even experienced his cruelty first-hand back in third year.

It had happened during the winter ball. Being a third year, Sarah and her friends were finally allowed to attend the annual dance, and she wasn’t about to waste the opportunity.

She had spent a fortune on the most beautiful sapphire dress, and she’d spent hours on her hair, creating elegant waves that fell down around her shoulders. It was the first time she’d ever really put any effort into her appearance, and she’d never felt more beautiful.

Punch in hand, she manoeuvred through the mess of people, standing just off to the side of the dance floor next to a pillar. Over the music, she caught the sound of her name on the other side of the pillar. She silently cast a listening charm and tried to make out what they were saying.

“You mean the Hufflepuff girl?” She heard. She instantly recognised the voice as Sirius Black. _Why is Black talking about me?_ She thought with excitement. She’d always had a slight crush on him, but she figured he’d never be interested in her.

“Yes, the Hufflepuff girl,” she heard Sirius’ companion say, a slight edge to her voice.

“Blergh,” Sirius said, the disgust evident. “She’s disgusting. Did you even see her tonight? She dances like a misshapen toad. I feel sorry for her, honestly.”

Sarah’d heard enough. She cut off the listening charm, feeling simultaneously hot and cold. Holding back tears, she ran from the scene, ripping off her dress as she got to her dorm room and closing herself in her bed curtains. She cried all night long, stopping only long enough to recount the story to her roommates when they’d finally returned from the dance. The two of them huddled around Sarah, comforting her and trying to make her feel better, but their reassuring words couldn’t drown out Sirius’ voice replaying in her mind.

At that moment, she’d vowed to hate him forever for making her feel so revolting. But now, no matter how much she replayed the memory, she couldn’t hold on to the hate she’d felt for him all those years.

She felt like such a cliché. One minute, she’s vowing to hate him forever. Then, she sees him shirtless, and suddenly she can’t stop thinking about him? _Merlin, it’s like I’m in a tacky romance novel,_ she thought bitterly

She looked around, suddenly realising that her mindless ambling along the lakeshore had brought her to the other side of the lake, far from the school grounds.

She picked up one last stone, ready to chuck it into the water before heading back to the castle. She froze mid-throw, however, when she heard a crunch behind her. She was nowhere near the Forbidden Forest, but that didn’t mean there weren’t still dangers lurking beyond the castle walls. Her hand slid to her pocket, readying herself for battle.

Another crunch. She whipped out her wand, turning and pointing her weapon at whatever lurked behind her.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, it’s me!”

“Black,” Sarah said, sighing in relief as she tucked her wand back into her pocket. “What are you doing, sneaking up on me like that? I almost blew your head off!”

Sirius chuckled, putting his hands in his pockets and taking a few steps toward her. “Sorry, Hughes. Didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“What are you doing out here, anyway?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

She shrugged. “Just out for a walk.”

Sirius frowned, looking around them. “A bit far for just a walk, no?”

She looked back at the castle and gave him a sheepish smile. “I guess I didn’t realise how far I was walking.”

“Lost in your thoughts, then?”

Sarah became suddenly uncomfortable. “Something like that,” she mumbled.

Sirius came to stand beside her, the two of them staring out at the lake. “What were you thinking about?”

_You_. “Just life,” she said.

“Sounds philosophic,” Sirius said with a teasing grin. “Anything you’d like to share with the class?”

The corners of her mouth quirked up. “Not particularly.”

“Go on, Hughes. You’ve got me burning with interest now.”

Sarah paused, searching for a way to change the subject. “You never answered my question,” she said suddenly, turning her head to look at him.

Sirius’ smile turned to a confused frown. “What question?”

“What you’re doing out here?”

“Ah,” he said, glancing back at the tree line from where he’d emerged. “Just exploring.”

“Find anything good?”

“Not really,” he shrugged. “Just a few trolls.”

“What?” Sarah asked, startled. “You found trolls?”

“Just baby ones,” Sirius assured her. “Perfectly harmless. Besides, I’ll protect you if they decide to attack.”

“How noble of you,” Sarah laughed.

“Well, I am of the most noble and ancient house of Black,” he grinned sardonically.

She looked him over curiously. She’d never heard him speak about his family. Granted, she’d only been talking to him for a couple of weeks, but he clearly didn’t share the same views of his openly bigoted family.

As she opened her mouth, ready to ask him about it, a sudden clap of thunder rang out. The two of them looked up at the dark storm clouds quickly rolling across the sky.

“Maybe we should head back,” he said. “Before it starts raining.”

As if on cue, the sky opened up, and heavy droplets poured from the sky, drenching the two students immediately. Sarah shrieked and ran for the tree line, Sirius hot on her heels. The two of them found the thickest tree and took shelter under its leaves.

Sarah held out her arms, looking down at her sopping clothes, her hair hanging limply around her face.

“Here,” Sirius said, pulling out his wand and pointing it at Sarah. She tensed, not enjoying the feeling of having a wand pointed at her. A moment later, she relaxed, realising that he was just performing a drying spell.

Once dried, the two of them stood under the tree, watching the rain gush from the skies.

“So much for going back,” Sirius joked, leaning back against the tree trunk. “Looks like we’re stuck out here.”

“Great,” Sarah muttered, wrapping her arms around herself, shivering from the chill in the air. She suddenly wished she hadn’t left her cloak in her dorm room.

A moment later, she felt Sirius wrap his own cloak around her. She jumped slightly, surprised at his sudden proximity.

“Oh, no, that’s okay,” she said, making to move out of the cloak.

“Sarah, you’re obviously cold,” Sirius said, ignoring her protests. “What kind of gentleman would I be if I let the fair maiden freeze to death.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’d hardly freeze to death.”

“No, but you might catch a cold. And that would be just as bad.” He adjusted the thick fabric on her shoulders, clasping the front closed and smoothing it out against her arms. He smiled down at her, his hands still gripping at her arms. “I like these colours on you.”

She looked down at the red and gold lining and chuckled. “I think it’s a bit big,” she said, looking back up at him. “I feel like I’m playing dress-up with mummy’s clothes again.”

“That’s something I’d like to see,” he said. “Five-year-old Sarah getting swallowed by a dress.”

She laughed. “I’m sure my mum still has pictures somewhere.”

Their laughter died down, and they were left standing together, looking at each other. Sirius reached up to brush away a strand of hair that had fallen in her eye. He tucked it behind her ear, and she felt the fluttering once again as his hand lingered in her hair.

“Do you think we should head back?” Sarah asked quietly, barely even registering the question.

“Probably,” Sirius said, making no move to leave.

Her eyes shifted slightly, coming to rest at his lips. They were thin, and she could just barely make out the shadow of facial hair growing around them. She watched them turn slightly at the corners, and she imagined leaning forward, imagined pressing her lips against his, imagined —

Another crack of thunder startled them both, and they jumped apart as a flash of light ripped through the sky.

“Shit,” Sirius mumbled, peeking out from under the leaves up at the sky. “Yeah, we should head back. It doesn’t look like it’s going to stop any time soon.”

He pulled out his wand, waving it slightly. “ _Obstructionum pluviam,_ ” he said, and a blue beam shot out from the end. He held the makeshift umbrella over his head and held out his arm for to her take.

“If you’ll please, madam,” he said in a posh voice. “Allow me to escort you back to your dorm.”

“Why, thank you, good sir,” Sarah said, playing along and taking hold of his arm. The two of them set off for the castle, quickly following the lakeshore that led up to the stone steps. In no time, they had arrived at the castle entrance, mostly dry, save for their feet.

As they stepped into the entrance hall, dripping water on the stone floor, Sirius dropped his spell, tucking his wand back in his trouser pocket.

“Thanks for lending me your cloak,” she said, undoing the clasp and removing the thick garment.

“It was my pleasure,” Sirius said, bowing slightly and draping the cloak over his arm.

After the two of them had said their goodbyes and parted ways, Sarah walked down the hallway leading to the Hufflepuff common room. Sirius watched her leave, a small smile playing at his lips, knowing he’d already won the bet.


	6. Step Four: Laying Her Groundwork, Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who's rereading this, I've edited it a bit to change Hagrid to Kettleburn. None of the edits affects the story, just changed it to be in line with canon. Thanks to oki_wan for pointing that out!

**_Step Four: Laying Her Groundwork, Part Two_ **

_Make yourself look good when she’s not around. This includes not only looking good physically, but also looking like a decent bloke. Be nice to her friends. Answer questions in class so she knows you’re smart, but ignore the praise so she sees that you’re still humble. Help out a random kid in the hallway when she thinks you think she’s not looking._

***

Shortly after lunch, the Great Hall emptied, and the students scurried away, filling the halls and heading for their afternoon classes. As the herd thinned out, only two boys remained in the hallway, standing at the top of the staircase next to the entrance of the Great Hall.

“All right, Wormy,” Sirius said to his companion who was looking fearfully down the flight of stairs. “It’s very, very important that you pay attention.”

“I’m listening,” Peter said, turning away from the steps and giving Sirius his full attention.

“If we mess this up, Sarah will say no, and I will have to go streaking,” Sirius continued, hammering in the importance of the success of the plan. “And I’m pretty sure McGonagall is ready to expel me at this point, so I _cannot_ go streaking.”

“I’m listening, I promise,” Peter insisted, nodding his head vigorously.

“Good,” Sirius said once he was satisfied that he had Peter’s attention. “Now, today we’re beginning Step Four of my master plan.”

“Looking good when she’s not around,” Peter recited, determined to show Sirius that he understood the plan.

“Right,” Sirius grinned. He always felt a swell of pride for his friend when he actually paid attention. “The first part of this step involves you. I can’t ask James because obviously he won’t help me win, and I can’t ask Remus because he’s such a wet-blanket that he’d never help. That means that you are my only hope, Peter. The very future of this operation rests in your hands.”

Obviously, that wasn’t true. Even if Peter messed up this plan, which there was a 50 per cent chance he would, Sirius had plenty of other ideas for Step Four. Still, telling Peter it was important would make him much more likely to succeed.

Peter nodded once, his eyes focused intensely on Sirius’.

“All right, Pete,” Sirius began. “Here’s the plan. As soon as Hughes comes around that corner, you’re going to fall down the stairs.”

“What?” Peter squeaked.

“Don’t worry,” Sirius said quickly. “As soon as you fall, I’ll be here to rescue you.”

“I don’t know,” Peter mumbled apprehensively, eyeing the stairs. He would normally jump at the chance to help Sirius out. But the thought of breaking his neck made him hesitant. “How is this supposed to help your plan?”

“When she sees me saving you, she’ll see me for the knight in shining armour that I am,” Sirius said passionately, believing wholeheartedly in what he was saying.

“Doesn’t this seem like cheating?” Peter asked nervously, not wanting to upset Sirius. He was finally trusting him with something, and he didn’t want to let him down. But he also definitely did not want to fall down the stairs. “I mean, you’re not _really_ a hero if you’re telling me to fall down the stairs.”

Sirius let out a frustrated groan. “Don’t think of it as cheating, Peter. Think of it as _acting._ We’re just creating a scene and playing the roles. You like acting, right? Didn’t you want to be the Ham man in that play in Muggle studies last year?”

“Yeah,” Peter said thoughtfully. He’d desperately wanted to play Hamlet, but Professor Rubis had insisted that he didn’t have the _stage presence_ to be the lead.

“This is your chance,” Sirius pressed. “No more Tree Number Two for you. Sure, _I’ll_ be playing the hero. But _you’ll_ get to be something _better._ You’re going to be a _supporting character._ The hero is useless without his sidekick.”

“That does sound nice…” Peter trailed off, thoughts of being a famous _supporting character_ running through his mind. He shook his head and came back to reality. “But what if I fall and she doesn’t even see it?”

“Oh, she’ll see.” Sirius pulled out the Marauder’s Map from his robes, tapping it twice with his wand. “As soon as she’s about to come round the corner, I’ll tell you when to jump. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let you fall for nothing.”

Peter stared down the long flight of stairs. “What if you don’t catch me?”

“I will,” Sirius said. He grabbed Peter by the shoulders and stared at him hard. “I promise. As soon as you jump, I’ll whip out my wand and levitate you safely down. I won’t actually let you fall down the stairs. You’ll just bump your knee a couple of times, and then I’ll jump in.”

“Wait, I’m actually going to be hitting the stairs?” Peter exclaimed, his voice higher than it’d ever been.

“Well, we have to make it look believable,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Come on, Wormtail. I’m counting on you! I wouldn’t ask you to do this if it wasn’t really important.”

Peter thought for a moment, looking back and forth from Sirius to the steps. Sirius tapped his foot impatiently. After a moment of complete inner turmoil, deciding between helping his friend and not breaking his neck, Peter gave Sirius a firm, resolute nod.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Sirius asked excitedly.

“I’ll do it.”

“Thank Merlin!” Sirius blurted. “You’re the best friend I could have ever asked for, Pete!” Peter beamed, raising himself up at the praise.

Sirius opened up the Map and began scanning. “She has Alchemy in a bit, so she’ll have to come up these stairs to get there. We just need to find her before she… Gotcha! Okay, Wormtail, she’s two corridors away. Get in position and get ready.”

Peter stood at the top of the stairs, his heart pounding. He was beginning to wonder if Sirius’ praise was worth it.

“When I say go,” Sirius said, his eyes glued to the Map. “Start falling. It might help if you jump out a bit. That’ll give me more time to catch you. Are you ready? On the count of three, you jump.”

Sirius watched the little black dot move closer and closer. “3…” She was at the end of the corridor. “2…” She was halfway down the corridor.“1…” She was about to turn the corner. Then, it stopped. The black dot paused, then backtracked down the corridor.

“Hang on, Pete, she’s going the wrong way,” Sirius mumbled as he realised that she was walking further away.

But it was too late. Peter had already steeled himself and was jumping from the stairs. He flew for a brief moment, the wind in his hair, his arms stretched out like a glorious and slightly-overweight eagle. But as gravity took over, he began to plummet with flailing arms.

“Peter!” Sirius shouted, rushing forward.

***

Sarah stepped out of the Hufflepuff barrel and into the hallway. She’d been tossing and turning all night, her mind cluttered with thoughts of kissing in the rain, and it seemed as though her confusion was continuing into the day.

_I can’t believe I almost kissed him_ , she thought to herself for the millionth time. How could she have possibly gone from hating him, to grudgingly being his friend, to wanting to kiss him in only a matter of weeks? It made absolutely no sense. Sure, he was smart and funny and handsome. But she’d always thought of herself as a cautious person. She thought her decisions through before she made them. She didn’t just go around kissing boys who’d insulted her and ruined winter balls for her. She wasn’t some reckless Gryffindor, for Merlin’s sake.

She made her way through corridor after corridor, her mind still muddled with thoughts of Sirius Black. Just as she was about to turn the corner and head for the stairs, a voice called out, cutting through her thoughts and stopping her in her tracks. She turned to see Lily Evans waving her down. Sarah smiled, turned, and walked over to her.

“Hey, Lily,” she said. “How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks,” Lily said. “I wanted to ask you something. Dorcas, Mary, and I are having a little get-together this weekend. A sort of girl’s night. And I was wondering if you and your roommates would like to join us.”

Sarah perked up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Lily smiled. “We’ve known each other for years but we’ve never really hung out, and I thought it might be a good chance for all of us to get to know one another. You know, make new friends and promote house unity and all that.”

“All right,” Sarah nodded. “It sounds like it could be a fun time. I’ll ask Anna and Gretch, but I’m sure they’ll be up for it!”

“Great,” Lily’s smile widened. “We found this little alcove up on the fourth floor, so we —”

A great crash from around the corner cut off Lily’s words, and the two girls ran to see what’d happened. Laying in a heap at the bottom of the staircase was Peter Pettigrew, a panicked Sirius Black rushing down the stairs after him. Sarah and Lily hurried forward, crouching beside the boy.

“Are you okay?” Sarah asked, carefully looking him over for any obvious injuries.

“What happened?” Lily asked.

“I was flying,” Peter said dreamily.

“Shit, Pete,” Sirius mumbled as he came up next to them, squatting down across from Sarah. “You all right?”

Peter stared up at the ceiling looking dazed. “Oh cool, the stars are out today,” He said, frowning at the air around him.

“What happened?” Lily repeated, asking Sirius this time.

“I don’t know,” Sirius lied. “He just tripped, I guess, and fell down the stairs.”

“We need to take him to the hospital wing,” Sarah said, turning his head slightly to get a look at his eyes. “I think he's got a concussion.”

“You’ve got a concussion!” Peter snapped at Sarah. A moment later, his scowl shifted back to a dreamy glaze, and he reached up, trying to catch the stars.

“Help me levitate him,” Sirius said, whipping out his wand and levitating the top half of the boy. Sarah pulled out her own wand and levitated the bottom half.

“Pst, Sirius,” Peter hissed loudly, going for a whisper but managing more of a restrained shout. “How’m I doing?” He reached up and tried to grab Sirius’ face.

“You’re doing great, Peter,” Sirius said quickly, leaning away from his hand and trying to shut the boy up before he revealed too much. “Just stay quiet, and don’t move. We’ll get you to the hospital wing.”

The four of them quickly made their way through the corridors and pushed open the doors of the hospital wing. As they set down the delirious boy on the nearest cot, they were immediately bombarded with questions from an irritated Madam Pomfrey. After her interrogation, she shooed them out of the room, slamming the door behind them.

“We should get to Transfiguration,” Lily said as they stepped out into the hallway.

“You go ahead,” Sirius waved her on. “I think I’ll wait here to make sure he’s okay.”

“Black,” Lily said with an eye-roll, sure he was just using this as an excuse to get out of class. “There’s no point in waiting around here. Madam Pomfrey said he can’t have visitors until supper. You might as well come to class.”

“How can I possibly concentrate on Transfiguration when my best friend is dying in the hospital wing?” Sirius cried dramatically.

Lily sighed. “Suit yourself,” she said simply. She’d known Sirius long enough to know not to argue with him when he was being melodramatic. It only amped up his theatrics.

She turned to Sarah. “I’ll see you this weekend, yeah?”

“For sure,” Sarah smiled. Sarah watched Lily leave, hanging back to make sure Sirius was okay. His dramatic outbursts were usually nothing more than attempts to get attention. But, this time, he seemed genuinely worried as he chewed his bottom lip and eyed the door nervously.

“Hey,” she said, getting his attention. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Madam Pomfrey has dealt with much worse than just a concussion.”

“You think?”

“Definitely. Besides, muggles deal with concussions all the time, so I’m sure a skilled mediwitch will have him fixed up in no time.”

“You’re probably right,” Sirius said, shuffling his feet slightly. “I just can’t help but feel guilty.”

“Don’t,” Sarah chuckled, pushing him lightly on the arm. “It’s not your fault he fell.”

_That’s what you think,_ Sirius thought. He really did feel guilty about Peter falling, and he couldn’t even imagine what kind of shit Remus would give him when he found out what happened. But, as he saw the concerned look Sarah was giving him, an idea popped into his head.

This worried-friend thing seemed to have an effect on her, and he figured he’d roll with it. He didn’t want to take advantage of Peter’s injury, but he couldn’t let this opportunity pass him by. Besides, if he didn’t take advantage of the moment, Peter would have been hurt for nothing. And he couldn’t let Peter’s injury be in vain, now could he?

He put on a pained face. “If I had just gotten my wand out sooner, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten so hurt,” he said, shaking his head and closing his eyes, pretending to hold back the tears.

Sarah paused, looking awkwardly around her. She was expecting to say a few kind words and be on her way. She wasn’t expecting to have to _comfort_ him. She’d never been very good at comforting people, and she definitely didn’t know how to handle a sad Sirius, of all things.

“Erm… do you want a hug?” She asked uncertainly. Sirius looked up at her and nodded his head, his eyes the very definition of ‘puppy dog.’ Sarah hesitantly stepped forward, her arms barely outstretched, and Sirius leaned in.

The moment his arms wrapped around her waist, she felt that familiar warmth that seemed to accompany being around him. Her cheeks flushed, and she tried to push it back down. Sirius was grieving, for Merlin’s sake. This was no time to get butterflies. Still, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head against his shoulder, she couldn’t help but hold back the smile as his hair tickled her cheek.

For his part, Sirius didn’t even try to hide his own smile. Not only did she now see him as a sensitive friend, but she was actively comforting him! He made a mental note to thank Peter profusely, vowing to buy the kid as much chocolate as he wanted for the rest of his life.

***

Sarah sat at her stool, her head resting in her hands and her eyes closed as they waited for class to begin. The students already sitting in the tower were quiet, either not wanting to break the quiet of the night or just too tired to talk. It was torturous starting a class at midnight when they had classes early the next day, and Sarah wasn’t the only one who thought so.

“It doesn’t even make sense,” Anna vented to her sleepy roommates. “Why have curfew at nine, but then force us to stay up until the wee hours? Whoever made this schedule is absolutely barmy.”

“We can’t exactly have Astronomy during the day, though, can we?” Gretchen pointed out.

“No, but we could have it at sunset,” Anna suggested.

“There’s still too much light,” Gretchen rolled her eyes.

“No, there isn’t. That’s why it’s called _sunset._ Because the _sun_ has _set._ ”

“Gretchen is right,” Sarah chimed in. She really didn’t want them to have a row at midnight, so she figured she’d stop it before it started. “Even if the sun has set, there’s still too much light to see the stars.”

Anna huffed. She was a pretty opinionated girl when she was awake but downright cantankerous when she was tired. She crossed her arms, grumbling something about the sun setting on her arse and turned away.

Just as Professor Simmons stood up and opened his mouth to start the class, three Gryffindors bounded up the staircase, completely out of breath.

“Sorry we’re late, Professor,” James panted. “We were busy studying for today’s lesson, and we just completely lost track of time.”

_Kiss-arse,_ Sarah thought, rolling her eyes and turning back to her table, flipping open her textbook and getting her notes ready.

“That’s all right, boys,” Professor Simmons said with a satisfied grin, happy to hear someone was actually studying for his class. “Take your seats, please, and we’ll begin.”

As much as Sarah was enjoying her new friendship with Sirius, she was relieved that the only empty seats were on the other side of the class. She was just too sleepy to deal with the perpetual warmth that came with being around him.

“All right,” Professor Simmons said in a voice that was just a bit too cheerful for this time of night. “Tonight we’ll be continuing our lesson on Jupiter. Before we begin, let’s do a quick review, shall we? Who here knows how many moons Jupiter has?”

Normally, any question Professor Simmons asked would be met with silence, as none of the students were capable of using their brains this late at night.

Tonight, however, one lone hand shot up into the sky. Sarah frowned in confusion as Sirius awaited eagerly to be called upon. Never in their five years had he ever volunteered an answer to a question in any class. Professors usually had to force him to answer, and even then his answers involved silly puns that only vaguely related to the question.

“Yes, Mr Black,” Professor Simmons nodded to Sirius with a surprised smile.

Sarah figured he would throw out some stupid joke about mooning, or about a space restaurant that has ‘great food but no atmosphere,’ or something just as stupid. She was surprised, then, when he stated studiously, “Jupiter has 84 moons.”

“Excellent,” Professor Simmons smiled, nodding enthusiastically. Sarah and Gretchen shared a confused look. Since when did he pay attention enough to actually know the answer?

“And can anyone tell me what is special about five of those moons?” Professor Simmons continued. 

Sirius raised his hand again, this time not waiting to be called upon. “Five of the moons are invisible, thus leading many people to believe there are only 79,” he said as though reading from a textbook.

“Wonderful,” Professor Simmons beamed. “Five points to Gryffindor!”

As Professor Simmons continued his lecture, Sarah noticed that James and Remus were sharing similarly confused looks to her own. They leaned over and hissed something to him. Sirius brushed them off, however, and kept his attention on the lecture.

Throughout the class, Sirius continued his bizarrely-bookish act.

As they looked through their telescopes, sketching out the Great Red Spot, Professor Simmons asked them how it came to be. Sirius raised his hand yet again and blurted the answer. “In 1667 during the Goblin Rebellions, Hing the Dastardly shot a powerful spell into the sky and hit Jupiter. To this day, the magic still swirls in a giant storm.”

Later, as they turned their attention to the surrounding stars, Professor Simmons asked what the other two points in the Jupiter Triangle were called. “Arcturus and Spica,” Sirius said, not bothering to raise his hand this time.

_Odd,_ Sarah thought. Not only did he know every single answer, but he brushed off every one of Professor Simmons’ attempts to praise him. Any other day, he would have been bragging about how smart he was. _I’m practically Jupiter’s leading scholar,_ she could just hear him saying. Yet, here he was, not taking a single ounce of praise.

His oddly humble, wickedly intelligent streak didn’t stop with Astronomy.

In Potions, he knew what the plant Hellebore was used to treat (“Paralysis, gout, and insanity.”). He also knew three of the many potions made from Porcupine quills (“Cure for boils, hair-raising potion, and elixir to induce euphoria.”). The entire time, Slughorn was practically bouncing with joy, ecstatic that Sirius was ‘finally realising his potential.’

By the time Care of Magical Creatures rolled around the next day, she wasn’t surprised to see his studious streak continue.

“All right, class,” Professor Kettleburn began as they gathered around the small clearing. He held in his hands a small bucket that shook slightly. “Today, we’ll be working with a very special little creature — the Murtlap.”

He plunged his hand into the bucket and pulled out a rat-like creature with tentacles twitching from its back. The slimy beast scurried over his hand, its thin teeth trying in vain to get a hold of his thumb. Kettleburn chuckled as it gnawed at his finger, unable to open its mouth wide enough to fit the digit inside.

“Normally,” he continued, “the Murtlap has a foul temper when dealing with humans. But as these are just babies, there’s nothing to worry about.” 

He pulled the Murtlap up by its hind legs, holding it out for the class to see. The little beast snarled, spitting slightly as it did so, and struggled in vain to free itself from his grasp. Kettleburn wiggled a finger at the small growth on its back. “Who can tell me what these tentacles are used for?”

Sarah’s eyes drifted to Sirius just as his hand shot up. She found herself actually rooting for him to know the answer.

“They can be eaten to create a resistance to jinxes,” Sirius said with a proud smile.

“Well done, Mr Black!” Kettleburn beamed.

“Since when did he become a teacher’s pet?” Anna whispered over to Sarah.

“It’s weird, right?” Sarah whispered back. “I wonder what’s up with him.”

“He’s probably just trying to impress a certain someone,” Anna grinned, nudging Sarah in the ribs.

“Sod off,” Sarah mumbled, looking away from Anna and back to the Professor. She couldn’t help the blush that crept up her neck at the thought of Sirius trying to impress her.

“And who can tell me what happens when you eat too much of these tentacles?” Kettleburn asked.

Sirius raised his hand once more, not waiting to be called upon this time. “You’ll grow purple hair out of your ears.”

“Wonderful!” the Professor said excitedly, leaning back and regarding his pupil proudly.

Sarah noted that James seemed suddenly intrigued by Sirius’ last answer. Remus smacked him on the arm and whispered something, probably telling him not to even think about force-feeding the tentacles to Snape.

“Today,” Kettleburn continued, “we’ll be feeding our Murtlaps so they can grow their tentacles nice and big. Everyone get in line and grab a bucket. Once you’ve all got your Murtlaps, I’ll show you how to feed them without getting nipped.”

“Why did it have to be Murtlaps?” Anna grumbled as they joined the queue. “They’re gross as shit.”

“They’re cute,” Sarah laughed, playfully hitting Anna on the arm.

“Not with those tentacles, they’re not,” Anna insisted.

“What’s wrong, Michaels?” Sirius said, shoving his way through the line to stand beside them. “You have a problem with tentacles?” He wiggled his fingers at her.

Anna pretended to gag. “They’re like worms. It’s disgusting.”

Sarah rolled her eyes and leaned over to Sirius. “If you couldn’t tell, Anna’s a priss,” she said with a cheeky grin at her friend.

“Excuse me for not wanting to go around playing with slimy worm rats,” Anna said, putting her hands on her hips.

“It’s okay, Michaels,” Sirius said, tossing an arm over Sarah’s shoulder. “Not everyone can be as adventurous as us.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call playing with worms adventurous,” Anna continued with a sceptical raise of her brow.

“Of course, it’s adventurous,” Sirius said. “Haven’t you heard of the Brain-Eating Worm? I’d say you’d have to be pretty adventurous to play with that. Wouldn’t you agree, Hughes?” Sirius turned slightly to look at her.

“Oh, absolutely,” Sarah said, nodding her head enthusiastically, loving the annoyed grimace Anna was making. It was so easy to rile Anna up sometimes.

“That’s not adventurous; that’s just stupid,” she grumbled, turning away from them both.

“You say tomato; I say potato,” Sirius grinned, finally dropping his arm from around Sarah’s shoulders. She felt a pang of disappointment that she tried not to think about too much.

“So,” Sarah said as the queue moved up a bit. “You certainly seem to know a lot about Murtlaps.”

Sirius gave a bashful smile and looked down at the ground, kicking the dirt slightly. “I wouldn’t say I know _a lot_ about them.”

“Well, I was impressed,” Sarah smiled. Part of her hoped that Anna was right — that he was trying to impress her. And if he was, she wanted to make sure he knew he’d succeeded.

As they made their way up the line, they each grabbed a bucket and a small bowl of ‘Murtlap food,’ as Kettleburn called it. It was really just a bunch of seaweed, barnacles, and shrimp.

Sirius followed Anna and Sarah back to their patch of grass, and they all plopped down on the ground, Remus and James following soon after.

“Aw,” Sirius laughed, peering into James’ bucket. “Prongs’ got a chubby one.”

“We prefer the term fluffy, thank you very much,” James said, protectively inching his bucket away from Sirius’ prying eyes.

“Right now,” Kettleburn called out. “Everyone got your Murtlaps? Good. Take out a few shrimps and carefully start feeding them. One bit at a time; we don’t want to overfeed them. And mind your fingers. They’re just babies, but they’ll bite you all the same.”

Sarah fished through her bowl, looking for the fattest shrimp. Her Murtlap stopped swimming, as though sensing food was near, and poked his head out of the water. At the sight of Sarah plucking the shrimp from the bowl, he leapt from the bucket, scurrying into her lap and waiting eagerly.

She smiled, tossing him the shrimp. He grabbed it in both hands and ripped the head off barbarically.

“Someone’s hungry,” Sirius laughed from beside her. She saw that his own Murtlap was sitting on his shoulder, gnawing lightly at the head of its shrimp.

“Looks like you’ve made a new friend there,” Sarah said.

“I think I’ll name him Chervil,” Sirius grinned, wiggling a finger against Chervil’s belly. The little beast squirmed, letting out a bizarre squeal that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

As the two of them played with their Murtlaps, James sighed woefully. His Murtlap was still struggling to get out of the bucket. His ‘fluffy’ belly jiggled as he jumped, but he only managed to get about two centimetres out of the water before falling right back in.

“I think I got a defective one,” he mumbled, giving up on trying to coax his Murtlap out of the bucket and dejectedly tossing the shrimp in.

“Why don’t you help him out of the bucket, James?” Remus asked. His Murtlap was sitting obediently in the grass before him, gently nibbling away at his seaweed.

“Get it off!” Anna shrieked as her Murtlap leapt from the bucket and buried itself somewhere in her robes. She squirmed, trying to shake the little beast from her clothing.

“Relax, Anna,” Sarah laughed. “He’s just burrowing.”

“Not in my robes, he’s not! I don’t want goo all over me!” Anna stood, dancing around like a madwoman in an attempt to get the Murtlap out. Finally, the little creature fell, rolling a few times before coming to rest on its bum. It gave its head a little shake and hissed at Anna before tearing into its meal.

The five of them spent the afternoon feeding their Murtlaps, occasionally jotting down a few notes when Kettleburn mentioned something that might be on the final exam. By the end of the class, Sarah and Sirius were covered in slime trails from their scurrying Murtlaps, Remus had taught his Murtlap a few tricks, and Anna had given up trying to stop her Murtlap from burrowing. Even James had managed to get his Murtlap out of the bucket, though he got a few nips on the finger in the process.

As they all got in line to return their Murtlaps, Sarah helped Anna extract hers from her hair.

“I’m sad to see them go,” she said, removing the last tangle of hair from the creature’s claw.

“I’m not,” Anna grumbled, giving the thing a withering look as she rubbed her head. He looked back at her with wide, sad eyes, his little arms reaching back for the warm nest of her hair.

“You’re heartless,” Sarah shook her head.

“Yeah, Michaels,” Sirius said, holding Chervil up to Anna. He took its paw and gave it a little shake, making him wave. “ _I’ll miss you, Anna,_ ” he said in a high, pinched voice. “ _Won’t you miss me?_ ”

“Not a chance,” Anna said, glaring at the little beast and stomping away.

“Are all Hufflepuffs that cold?” Sirius joked after they’d returned their Murtlaps and grabbed their things.

“Not normally,” Sarah shrugged. “Anna is just a particularly horrible person.”

“I heard that!” Anna shouted from a ways away. With one last glare, she stormed off to the castle.

As the rest of the students scattered out of the small clearing, Sirius and Sarah stayed behind to help Kettleburn sort the Murtlaps out. They really had gotten attached to the little creates, and they wanted to spend a bit more time with them.

When all was sorted, the two of them made their way back up to the castle, their arms brushing slightly as they walked and a comfortable silence falling over them. After a moment, Sarah broke the silence.

“So, how’s Peter?” She asked. “Is his concussion all better?”

Sirius groaned. “Little prick is milking it for all it’s worth.” He put on a wide-eyed look and raised his voice slightly. “ _Oh, Sirius, could you go get me a cake from the kitchens? My head injury has depleted my blood-sugar levels, and I need some sweets. Oh, Sirius, could you write my Potions essay for me? My concussion has scrambled my brains a bit, and I just don’t feel up to it._ ”

Sarah laughed. “Oh, poor you,” she said sarcastically. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the exact same thing if you were in his position.”

“I wouldn’t!” Sirius insisted. “I got a concussion just last year, and I only made James go to the kitchens once.”

“And I’m sure you were perfectly monstrous about it,” she said with a sweet smile. “How’d you get the concussion, anyway?” Sarah asked. They’d come upon the castle now and were standing at the junction of the hallways that would lead them to their respective dormitories.

Sirius suddenly looked embarrassed. “I don’t remember,” he mumbled.

“Oh, go on,” Sarah nudged his arm.

Sirius hesitated. “You’ll laugh at me.”

Sarah gave him her most serious face and crossed a finger over her heart. “I promise I won’t.”

He sighed, biting his lip in shame. “I was playing Quidditch, and I flew into the goal post,” he forced out.

Sarah let out a great burst of shocked laughter. “You what?”

“You promised not to laugh,” Sirius glowered, crossing his arms in annoyance but feeling his lips twitch nonetheless.

“Sorry, but how did you not see a thirty-foot pole in the ground?” She continued, laughing incredulously.

“I saw it,” Sirius said, shaking his head, unable to stop his smile from breaking out. Her laugh really was an infectious thing. “I was just going too fast to stop.”

She made a cooing noise and gave his cheek a pat. “Such a simple boy.”

“Bugger off,” Sirius mumbled, laughing all the same. “I bet you couldn’t stop if you were going as fast as I was.”

“You’d win that bet,” Sarah said, leaning back against the wall. “I’m rubbish at flying.”

“What?” Sirius asked indignantly. “And here you are, laughing at _my_ flying skills?”

“I never claimed to be a good flyer,” Sarah said, raising her hands in defence. “You, on the other hand, are supposed to be amazing at it. Which makes flying into a bloody pole that much stupider.”

Sirius let out an exasperated chuckle. “Are you always this infuriating?”

Sarah shrugged. “Only with people I like,” she said. Her smiled dropped and her eyes went wide as she realised what she’d just said.

Sirius cocked his head and gave her a sly grin, all of his earlier embarrassment gone. “Oh? So you like me, eh? I thought you _hated_ me.” He took a step forward.

Sarah sputtered for something to say. “Well, I suppose you’re growing on me.”

Sirius let out a dramatic sigh, waving a hand around his head. “I do have that affect on people.” He stepped even closer, now only inches away from her.

Sarah rolled her eyes, trying to maintain her composure despite his closeness. “I still think you’re an arrogant prick, though.”

“Oh, come now,” Sirius said, putting out an arm and resting his hand against the wall next to her head. “I prefer the term _confident._ ”

Sarah felt her heart pound in her chest, and she was sure he could hear it echoing through the halls. She swallowed her nerves, trying to muster some of that Gryffindor courage he was always bragging about, and forced herself to speak. “No quarrels about being called a prick, then?”

Sirius stared down into her eyes, his breath brushing against her cheek. “You really think I’m prick?” He asked, his voice soft.

Sarah shivered, unable to tear her eyes away from his. “Only sometimes,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes darted to his lips just as his tongue peeked out, brushing across his bottom lip and wetting it slightly.

“Well,” he said with a smirk. “Let’s just hope I can change your perception of me, then.”

He leaned forward slightly, and her heart practically burst from her chest. _This is it,_ she thought. _He’s going to kiss me. Fuck._

Closer and closer he moved. Then, at the last second, he turned his face to the side and whispered against her ear, “See you around, Hughes.”

He pushed himself off the wall and stepped back. With a wink, he left her there and made his way down the corridor. 

She watched him walk away, her breathing ragged, her stomach coming up to her chest to dance with her heart. Shaking her head, she slowly made her way back to the Hufflepuff common room, the mental image of him kissing her against that wall filling her head.

_I’m fucked_ , she thought.

***

Sarah sat cross-legged on her bed, her Alchemy textbook open in front of her and her notes scattered across the blanket. She’d spent all evening trying to write her essay the Inner Equilibrium, but she just couldn’t focus on anything other than Sirius Stupid Black’s stupid lips.

As she began rereading the same paragraph for the 15th time, the door burst open. Anna and Gretchen marched in, surrounding her bed and looking suspiciously like they were about to hold an intervention.

“Hey, guys,” she started hesitantly. The two of them pushed her notes away and sat down.

“We need to talk,” Gretchen said, skipping all pleasantries.

“It’s about Sirius,” Anna clarified.

Sarah sighed, collecting her notes and patting them into a neat pile. “What about him?”

“Are you two dating?” Anna asked bluntly.

“Anna,” Gretchen hissed. “We were supposed to build up to it. We had a plan.”

“Fuck the plan,” Anna said before turning back to Sarah and repeating her question.

“No,” Sarah said as a blush crept over her cheeks. “We’re not dating.”

“But you like him,” Gretchen said. It wasn’t a question.

“Of course,” Sarah said, not meeting their eyes. “We’re friends.”

“That’s not what she meant and you know it,” Anna said with a warning frown.

Sarah bit her lip. It was one thing to be friends with Sirius, to flirt with him, to think about kissing him. But confirming her roommates’ suspicions seemed…different. Made it more real, somehow.

“Well?” Anna prodded.

“I don’t know,” Sarah mumbled, suddenly finding her quilt very interesting.

“Come off it,” Gretchen said. “We’ve seen how you look at him.”

“I look at him normally,” Sarah said defensively, but it lacked any real fire. She picked at a thread on her quilt, pulling it free from his stitch before stuffing it back in.

“We just want you to be careful,” Anna said.

“We saw how hurt you were back in third year,” Gretchen added. “We don’t want that to happen again.”

“You were certainly pushing for me to date him just the other day,” Sarah said with a wry smile.

“We didn’t think it was real before,” Anna said with a glance to Gretchen. “We always thought you hated him, so we were just messing with you. But now…” She trailed off.

“Now it seems like you don’t hate him so much,” Gretchen finished for her.

Sarah sighed, looking away from her friends. Of course, she didn’t hate him. She never _really_ hated him, now that she thought about it. She was just hurt by what he’d said about her, and fixating on the fact that he was an arrogant jerk made that pain lessen a bit.

But now…he seemed to have changed so much over the past few weeks. He was kind, intelligent, funny, handsome — it was almost too good to be true. It was like he’d somehow gotten a list of everything she wanted in a boy and had suddenly become all of those things. Part of her wanted to be suspicious about it all. But mostly she just wanted to be happy with someone that seemed to actually like her. So what if he was a jerk before? He certainly didn’t seem to be a jerk anymore.

“I think I do like him,” she said softly, glancing at her roommates and trying to judge their reactions.

“What about third year?” Anna asked again.

Sarah sighed once again. “I don’t know. That was so long ago. How can I possibly fault him for something he did when he was 13?”

“Do you really think he’s changed, though?” Anna asked. 

“How can you be sure?” Gretchen added seriously. “How do you know it’s not just wishful thinking on your part? He’s a cute boy; maybe it’s just a crush and you’re just projecting that onto him.”

Sarah frowned. She’d already thought of that and had ruled it out. “I don’t think that’s what it is. I mean, I _had_ a crush on him for a while, but when he said those things, that stopped. Now, though…I don’t know. He’s different. He makes me laugh, we like the same things, he’s intelligent. He’s not the same arsehole he used to be. He’s changed. He’s matured. And I think I really like him.”

Gretchen grabbed Sarah’s face and turned her head to face her. She squinted, staring hard into her eyes as she turned her head slightly to one side, then to the next. “You don’t appear to be suffering from a love potion,” she said, satisfied with her examination.

Sarah shook off Gretchen’s hand and laughed. “I’m serious. I misjudged him. He’s really great.”

Anna and Gretchen shared a smile. “Do you think you’d say yes if he asked you out again?” Anna asked.

Sarah stared down at her hands. A moment later, she looked back up at them with a small smile. “I think I would, yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! I'll have the next chapter posted soon.


	7. Step Five: Make Your Move

_**Step Five: Make Your Move** _

_When the groundwork is laid,_ cautiously _make your move. Be humble, yet confident, and make sure she’s ready to accept your invitation._

***

“Today’s the day, boys,” Sirius said, adjusting his tie and picking up a comb for the first time in five years. “Today, I win the bet.”

“Rub it in, why don’t you,” James grumbled into his knee, bending over in his seat to tie his shoes.

“We don’t know she’ll say yes,” Peter said from his closet, trying to comfort James. He wriggled into his sweater and tugged at the bottom to stretch it out a bit so that it fit over his belly.

“Of course, she’ll say yes,” Sirius said with a cocky smile. As he finished tugging out all of the tangles in his hair, he gave his reflection a wink and stepped away from the mirror. “Haven’t you been listening to a thing I’ve said? She was definitely about to kiss me yesterday. If that’s not the behaviour of a girl ready to say yes, I don’t know what is.”

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t just ask her out yesterday,” Remus said as he packed his bag with his books and parchment. “Just do it and be done with it already.”

“ _Preparation_ , Moony,” Sirius said, smacking the back of his hand against his palm to emphasis his point. “You of all people should know the importance of preparation. I couldn’t just _ask her out_ without planning what I would say. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and get slapped like _some_ people.” He slid James a sly smile.

James rolled his eyes. “I’ll have you know Evans hasn’t slapped me in well over a week. That’s what I call _progress._ ”

Sirius laughed. “Some progress. Meanwhile, in just under one month, I have befriended and wooed a girl who once hated me. And today,” he said, hopping up onto his desk. “She becomes my girlfriend.”

“Wait,” Peter frowned. “Who said anything about being your girlfriend? I thought you were just going to ask her on a date.”

“I am,” Sirius nodded. “But that doesn’t mean it can’t actually go somewhere.”

“Sirius,” Remus said with a warning glance. “Do you actually like Sarah?”

Sirius shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. “But I do think she’s pretty cool. And very easy on the eyes.” He nudged Peter in the arm and gave him a wink. Peter tried winking back but ended up just blinking hard. “But I don’t know her well enough to say if I _like_ her.”

“I thought your stalking told you everything you needed to know about her,” James said bitterly. Even teasing Sirius about his stalking wasn’t cheering him up about the fact that he would very likely have to go streaking soon.

“It told me the facts, yes,” Sirius said, not bothering to correct James. “But I’ll have to go on a proper date before I can say if I like her for real.”

“I just don’t want you leading her on to make some stupid point about your methods or whatever you’re trying to prove,” Remus said. “I think she might actually like you. So if you have no intention of properly dating her, don’t lie to her.”

“Don’t worry, Moony,” Sirius assured him, hopping down from his desk and grabbing his bag. “I don’t _love_ her or anything, but I can say that I like her enough not to do anything to hurt her feelings.”

“Be sure that you don’t,” Remus said. “She’s a good friend, and I don’t want you messing that up just for a bet.”

“So, how are you going to ask her?” Peter asked eagerly.

Sirius grinned. “First, I’ll take her somewhere quiet for a bit of privacy. Then, I have to seem nervous. Some stuttering, maybe a false start or two. Let her know how much her answer means to me. Next, a bit of flattery. Tell her she’s beautiful, that I’ve wanted to ask her out for ages, etc. Finally, I pop the question. Keep it casual, but formal enough that she knows I respect her.”

“Merlin, I’m surprised you don’t have a script,” James grumbled, donning his cloak and grabbing his bag.

“Who says I don’t?” Sirius smiled, patting the side of the bag.

***

Sarah couldn’t stop smiling. She’d expected to feel nothing but dread after admitting to her roommates that she liked Sirius. But, surprisingly, it had made her feel lighter. It was as if the weight had been lifted, and now nothing was holding her back.

They’d spent practically the entire night gushing and giggling about how he was sure to ask her out again.

“I don’t know, you guys,” Sarah had said. She tried to keep a level head on her shoulder, but she just couldn’t help the smile that twitched at her lips. “Just because I like him doesn’t mean he likes me.”

“Are you kidding?” Anna asked disbelievingly. “Have you been paying attention at all? He spends half of his time staring at you and the other half flirting with you! If he doesn’t ask you out in the next week, I’ll eat my hat.”

As Sarah walked through the corridor now, she felt excited, on top of the world, like nothing could bring her down. Still, she tried to remind herself not to get too excited. He’d made no indication that he would ask her out again, of course, and getting ahead of herself would only bring disappointment if he, for some reason, didn’t.

But how could it not happen? He’d spent the past three weeks flirting with her, joking around, touching her arm, leaning in close. It seemed as though he’d been about to kiss her on more than one occasion, and, hell, he’d already asked her out once. It was only a matter of time before he did it again.

As she left the Great Hall and walked down the corridor to Charms class, a voice called out to her.

“Sarah!” She turned at the sound and felt her heart skip at the sight of Sirius running toward her. It was like a scene from a movie — the music plays, the lights dim, the hero runs to the girl to sweep her off her feet.

She tried to shake the image away. _Don’t get ahead of yourself_ , she thought. _You don’t even know if he likes you. What makes you think he’s about to sweep you off your feet here and now?_ Despite that pessimistic voice, the image remained steadfast in her mind.

“Hey, Sirius,” she smiled at him, trying to act natural even with a movie scene playing out in her head.

“Do you have a second?” He asked. “There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

Her heart sped up at the thought that this could be it — this could be the moment when he asked her out! That tiny, discouraging voice in the back of her mind starting whispering once again not to get her hopes up. _Shut up,_ she told the voice. _I deserve to be happy_.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Not here,” he mumbled, taking her hand and pulling her along. Her breath caught at the feeling of his warm hand in hers as they left the corridor and headed out into the courtyard, away from eavesdroppers. They stopped just outside of the corridor, the chilly air nipping at their cheeks.

“So,” Sarah began, trying to contain her nerves. “What’d you want to talk about?”

Sirius looked down, nervously wringing his hands together. He looked back up at her and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried again. Still nothing. He chuckled softly and shook his head as if shaking away whatever thoughts were there.

Sarah watched him with a smile. She’d never seen him so skittish. He almost seemed…nervous. Gone was the arrogant air, the cheeky remarks, the self-satisfied smirk. All that remained was a boy that seemed so genuine that Sarah’s heart lurched. _He really has changed_.

“You okay?” Sarah asked with a smile, gently urging him along.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius nodded. He took a deep breath and started again. “Sarah.”

“Sirius.”

“You know how I asked you out a couple weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” Sarah said, looking down at her feet for a moment before looking back up.

“Well, I know I was a bit hasty. I didn’t really know you, and you certainly didn’t know me. But I feel as though we’ve really gotten to know each other well over the past few weeks. And there’s something I’d like to ask you.”

Sarah felt her heart swell. This was it! Part of her felt like laughing. She’d spent so long hating him for those hurtful things he’d said about her, but she couldn’t imagine this stuttering, nervous boy ever having said she looked like a toad. Maybe someday she’d bring it up, and they could laugh about it together.

“What is it?” Sarah encouraged, trying not to get too excited.

Sirius took another deep breath before launching right in. “Ever since I first saw you, I never once doubted that you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

Sarah’s smile faltered, and her head twitched to the side slightly. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Sirius chuckled. “In fact, I’ve wanted to ask you out since third year.”

Sarah’s smile fell entirely, a cold confusion filling her body. “Since third year?”

“Yeah,” he continued, oblivious to her sudden change. “Remember the winter ball we had? Well, you just looked so beautiful. I’d always known you were beautiful, of course, but I’d never really noticed until then. And over the years, I’d…”

Sarah’s ears were ringing so loudly that she couldn’t even hear the rest of his speech. He’d wanted to ask her out since third year? That couldn’t be right. He’d said she looked like a toad. How could he have thought she was beautiful if she looked like a toad?

A terrible thought crept into her mind. _It’s a prank,_ that little voice said. _His friends dared him to ask out the ugliest girl in school. That’s all this is. A prank. A dare._

If that were true, then why would he be asking her here, in the quiet courtyard with no one around to see? Surely, if he were trying to prank her, he’d ask her in a loud, theatrical manner where all of his friends could bear witness to her humiliation.

Her eyes drifted behind Sirius, scanning along the windows of the corridor. No, if this were a prank, someone would be there to watch. Just when she thought the halls were clear, she spotted them. There, toward the end of the corridor, were James, Remus, and Peter, all peeking out of the window and watching them.

She felt her stomach drop at the realisation. So, it was a prank. A cruel dare to get her to like him, then… what? Laugh at her feelings for him? Make her look like an idiot for falling for it?

“So?” Sirius’ voice drew her back to what he was saying.

She tore her eyes away from the small band of onlookers and faced the boy before her. “Sorry?” She asked with a slight shake of her head as she came back to the conversation.

“What do you say? Would you go on a date with me?” He asked with a wide, expectant smile. Just this morning, that smile would have made her weak in the knees. Now, the very sight of it made her want to break every bone in his body.

“No, thank you,” she said, her voice calm and even. Her eyes, though, were swirling with rage. She turned and started to walk back to the castle.

Sirius’ smile drooped. “Wait,” he said, reaching out and grabbing her arm to stop her. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“Are you deaf?” she snapped, her voice growing louder as she ripped her arm from his grasp. “I said no.”

“But,” Sirius sputtered, trying desperately to see what he’d said wrong. “I thought we were friends.”

Sarah scoffed. “And what gave you that idea?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius said, his own anger starting to bubble up. “Maybe the fact that we’ve been talking and laughing and having a good time and —”

“All at my expense, I expect.”

“Sarah, no, I —”

“I’m not going to be another reason for you to show off in front of your stupid friends. So you can just fuck off, all right?”

She turned on her heel, stomping back into the castle, leaving Sirius to sputter as he tried to figure out what went wrong.

How dare he? Who gave him the right to play around with her feelings, all for some stupid dare? How stupid she’d been. He hadn’t changed at all. He was just as cruel as she’d always thought he was. Well, he’d gone too far now. Hexing people, calling them names, throwing dung bombs in the hallway — that was one thing. But making someone have feelings for him just for a prank… that was something entirely unforgivable.

As she tore down the corridor, she spotted Remus standing in the middle of the hall, looking at her worriedly as James and Peter huddled behind him, both shooting her confused looks.

The sight of Remus only fuelled her rage. Of course. He knew. He fucking knew about the whole thing, and he hadn’t tried to talk Sirius out of it. He let him do this to her.

“Hey, Sarah, are —”

“Piss off, Lupin,” she spat, shoving her shoulder into his as she pushed past.

“What did _I_ do?” He asked her retreating back, stumbling slightly from the impact.

Sarah didn’t respond. She stormed on, and the hallway seemed to crackle with electric rage.

A moment later, Sirius joined them in the hallway, an angry glare crunching his features.

“What did you say to her?” Peter asked quietly, looking between Remus and Sirius with wide eyes.

“How’s that plan of yours coming along, eh?” James asked, his tone a mix of sarcasm and incredulity.

“I forgot to mention Step Six,” Sirius said, glaring at the empty hallway where Sarah just was. “Relentless pursuit.”

“Oi,” James said half-heartedly. “That was my plan!”

***

“Did you see Professor Atwick today?” Gretchen said with a swoon in her voice.

Anna rolled her eyes. “No, but I’m sure you going to tell me all about how _luscious_ his hair was, or how _blue_ his eyes were, or how _fit_ he looked in his _cloak._ ”

Gretchen glared at her friend. “For the record, he has brown eyes. And he did look fit in his cloak! The way it just swirls around him like that — oh, he’s just the most handsome professor that ever was.” 

“He’s not that fit,” Anna said. “Just because he’s the only teach under the age of 40, that doesn’t automatically…” Her voice trailed off as the two of them entered the Charms classroom. Sitting at the table furthest to the window was Sarah, staring out the window, a dark look clouding her expression.

Anna and Gretchen shared a worried glance before hesitantly approaching her, sliding into the seats next to and in front of her.

“Hey, Sar,” Gretchen said slowly. “You all right?”

Sarah’s eyes snapped to Gretchen, and, in them, she could see nothing but fury.

Before they could say anything, however, Professor Flitwick climbed his books and called everyone to attention.

Throughout the lesson, they worked in pairs to produce different weather spells. First up on the forecast was snow.

While most of the students had little snowflakes sprinkling their partners and dusting their hair, Sarah had produced a full-fledged blizzard. The wind howled around the poor Ravenclaw she’d been paired up with, and the girl tried to huddle away from the avalanche that threatened to bury her then and there.

“Miss Hughes,” Professor Flitwick squeaked, afraid for the safety of one of his own house members. “We’re producing snow, not a whiteout.” With a flick of his wand, the snow disappeared, and the Ravenclaw gave him a grateful smile.

All throughout Charms, Sarah felt her anger bubble until it threatened to escape her lips in a violent scream. When she was meant to produce rays of sunlight, she’d summoned such a bright light that her partner had patches of sunburn on her cheeks. When she was meant to produce a light drizzle, she drenched her partner with a flood.

By the end of the class, Sarah was sure she was on the poor girls’ shit list. But she couldn’t help it. How could she possibly produce such mild weather when her heart felt like it was ready to explode from her chest?

The moment Flitwick released them for the day, Anna and Gretchen gave the Ravenclaw apologetic smiles before cornering Sarah to find out what in Merlin’s name was going on.

“What is wrong with you?” Anna hissed. “Were you trying to kill Amelia or something?”

“No,” Sarah snapped, shoving her book in her bag with more force than necessary, and a thread from the stitching snapped.

Anna and Gretchen shared a look. It was rare for Sarah to get angry. But when she did, it was best to get as far away from her as possible.

“What happened?” Gretchen asked cautiously.

Sarah stood next to her desk, still as a statue, and not looking her roommates in the eye. She waited for the last couple of students to clear out of the room before she spoke.

“Black asked me out today,” she said, her voice soft.

“Isn’t that good?” Anna asked excitedly, forgetting to be careful with her furious friend.

Sarah rounded on Anna. “Oh yeah, it’s wonderful,” she said sarcastically, her voice dripping with venom. “Except for the fact that it was all just some stupid prank that his friends put him up to. That he never actually liked me. That I was just the punchline to his joke.”

“Wait, what?” Gretchen cut in. “What are you talking about?”

Sarah sighed, her anger dissipating slightly and making way for the hurt. When she spoke, her voice was small. “He said he’s wanted to ask me out since third year.”

“Third year?” Anna asked with a confused frown. “That can’t be right.”

“Maybe he just misspoke,” Gretchen said rationally.

“He didn’t misspeak,” Sarah said. “He said he saw me at the ball and he thought I was beautiful.”

“He’s probably just peacocking,” Anna said. “You know, flattering you to make sure you say yes.”

“No,” Sarah insisted. “His friends were watching.”

“They probably knew he was going to ask you out and they wanted to see it,” Gretchen said.

“No.” Sarah snapped. She sighed. “No,” she repeated quieter. “It felt like he was putting on a show for them.”

Anna and Gretchen glanced at one another. “That doesn’t mean it was a prank,” Anna said softly, her arm wrapping around Sarah’s shoulders.

Sarah shook her head. “Think about it,” she said. “He asks me out randomly one day after never talking to me before that. Then, suddenly he’s always there, trying to talk to me, trying to get close to me, being nice to me. Then, he asks me out in front of his friends and says he’s thought I was beautiful since the first day he saw me, even though I know he thought I was ugly. Doesn’t that sound suspicious to you? Like one of his friends dared him to ask out the ugliest girl in school?”

“Sarah, you’re not the ugliest girl in school,” Gretchen insisted with an eye roll. “You’re a solid 8.”

“8.5,” Anna corrected.

“Not to him I’m not,” Sarah said. “Do you even remember what he said? He said I was disgusting. That I looked like a toad. That he felt sorry for me. And now suddenly he’s wanted to ask me out since then?”

Gretchen and Anna were silent for a moment as they tried to think of some rational explanation. “Maybe he just never realised how beautiful you really are. I mean, boys are idiots. Maybe it’s just taken him this long to realise how gorgeous you are.”

Sarah shook her head. “No, I’m the idiot,” she said. “I was deluding myself thinking that he’d changed. He’s always been an arsehole, and he’ll always be an arsehole. I was right before to hate him. He just tricked me into thinking he was anything other than a complete selfish prick.” She stepped away from Anna’s embrace and grabbed her bag. “Well, he won’t trick me anymore. I know what he’s really like now, and I won’t let him humiliate me like that.”

She left her roommates then, storming from the room and bringing her dark cloud with her.

Anna let out a great sigh. “She’s really paranoid.”

“Maybe she’s not,” Gretchen shrugged. “Maybe he really was dared to ask her out.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Please, Remus wouldn’t let him do that. He’s a good guy. He’d never let him hurt her like that.”

“Maybe Remus doesn’t know about it,” Gretchen theorised.

Anna was quiet. “Maybe. Either way, Black better not be pranking her. I’ll kill the bastard if he hurts her.”

“And I’ll help,” Gretchen added. The two of them left the room, making sure to stop by the kitchens to get Sarah a cake to try to ease her sadness.

***

They needn’t have bothered with the cake. After that brief moment of sadness, Sarah’s rage returned full force.

At supper, she stared daggers at the Gryffindor table, slicing into her chicken with such violence that one could probably guess at the homicidal thoughts going through her mind.

“Merlin, Padfoot,” James mumbled. All four of the Marauders were trying to avoid looking anywhere near the Hufflepuff table for fear of catching Sarah’s icy gaze. “What did you say to her?”

“If I knew what would piss her off that badly, do you really think I’d have said it?” Sirius said, trying to strategically move to the side to block Sarah’s view of him. Every time he managed to get out of her line of sight, however, she leaned to the side and resumed her death glare.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to move on to relentless pursuit?” Remus asked, throwing cautious glances at Sarah. “I think she might murder you if you even try to say Hello.”

“He’s right,” Peter said. “She seems pretty angry. She’s even mad at Remus, and they’ve been friends for ages.”

Sirius perked up and gave Remus a desperate look. “That’s right! You two are friends! You could talk to her for me!”

“No way,” Remus said, dropping his fork and holding his hands up. “I already don’t know what I did to piss her off. I’m not going to make it worse by trying to defend the one person she hates more than me right now.”

Sirius clasped his hands together, his eyes wide and his lip quivering. “Please, Remus? I’m desperate here! I don’t even care about the bet at this point. I just want her to stop glaring. I can’t eat when she’s trying to kill me with those eyes!”

Remus shook his head. “I’m not getting involved in this. I’d like to keep my head, thank you very much. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to James.”

“Honestly,” James chimed in. “I’m fine with it.”

“You are?” All three boys asked him.

“I’d like to know what you said to her so that I can never ever say it to any girl ever,” James said with a fearful glance at the Hufflepuff table.

“Great,” Sirius said with a relieved sigh. “So Remus will sort it out, then.”

“I never agreed to do it,” Remus pointed out.

“But James just said he didn’t mind!” Sirius protested. “He’s willing to let you help me. Does that not tell you how dire this all is?”

“To be honest,” James mused. “I don’t think anything can help you at this point. She hates you way more than Evans has ever hated me.”

“That’s true,” Peter nodded. “Even when you got her sent to the hospital wing for sending poisonous flowers, she didn’t hate you this much.”

“To be fair, I didn’t know they were poisonous,” James clarified. “But, yeah, she only hexed me a few times. Sarah looks like she’d like to burn down the Gryffindor tower with you in it.”

Sirius blanched at the thought of burning alive. “Please, Moony,” he pleaded. “I am _begging_ you. I don’t want her to murder me.”

“She’s not going to murder you,” Remus rolled his eyes. 

“You sure about that?” Sirius said. All four of them risked a glance at the Hufflepuff table. Sarah’s eyes were still trained on Sirius, and he could swear he saw flames of fire licking at her eyes. Even her roommates were subtly trying to inch as far away from her as possible.

Remus turned back to Sirius with a tired expression. “You’re damn lucky I like you.”

Sirius took that as Remus’ agreement to help, and he heaved a great sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he said earnestly. “You’re a lifesaver! I owe you one!”

“You owe me a lot more than just one,” Remus said, looking back at Sarah and shuddering at the look she gave them.

***

Ever since the middle of second year, Remus and Sarah studied at the same table every Saturday morning. They rarely missed their unofficial study date, and he figured this would be the best place to try to talk to her, as there was no way she’d murder him in such a sacred place as the library. Of course, that was even assuming she’d be here. She was seriously angry, and he guessed that the chances of her showing up were rather slim.

Turning the corner of one of the book stacks, he was relieved to see her sitting at their usual table. As her eyes met his, however, his stomach churned, and he was starting to regret agreeing to help Sirius.

“Hey,” he said quietly as he tentatively approached the table. She said nothing as she continued her cold stare. “Can I sit down?” He asked, nodding to the chair.

“I don’t know,” she said with a sneer. “ _Can_ you?”

Remus took a breath and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “ _May_ I?”

She looked back to her parchment dismissing his presence entirely. “I don’t own the library, Lupin. Do what you want.”

Remus pulled out his chair and sat, watching her work in silence for a moment. “Sarah,” he began softly.

“What?” She grumbled, her eyes still glued to her parchment.

“Can we talk?”

“I’m a bit busy if you hadn’t noticed.”

He placed a tentative hand on hers, stilling her quill and feeling his skin prick with nerves. He half expected her to haul off and smack him, but he let out a breath he didn’t even realise he’d been holding when she looked up at him, her eyes softer than they’d been a moment before.

“Why are you angry with me?” He asked quietly.

She snatched her hand away from his and let out a tired sigh. “Don’t act like you don’t know.”

“But I don’t,” he said sincerely.

Sarah was quiet, her eyes trained on the table as her finger drew slow figure-eights along the wood. “Sirius asked me out yesterday.”

“He told us,” Remus said cautiously. “I still don’t understand why that would make you this angry, though. I thought you liked him. Wouldn’t it make you happy that he’s asked you out?”

She let out a sharp breath, giving him a harsh stare. “I know he was dared to ask me out.”

He felt a cold sweat break out over his skin. _Shit_ , he thought. _I’ve got to tread carefully here._ He could lie and assure her that Sirius’ intentions were true, that he actually liked Sarah. But then he’d be just as bad as Sirius. Besides, he didn’t think he could lie to her face like that. But he couldn’t exactly tell her about the bet, now could he?

“What do you mean he was dared?” He asked, trying not to reveal how much of what he knew. 

“You can drop the act. I know he was just making fun of me.”

“What?” Remus asked, genuinely taken aback. “Who said he was making fun of you?”

“I’m not stupid, Remus,” she said bitterly. There was a slight pause, and, when she spoke again, her voice was soft. “I know he didn’t mean it. I know he doesn’t actually like me. It was just some stupid prank or dare or something that Potter put him up to. He was just trying to get me to say yes for a laugh.”

Remus felt his stomach drop. She wasn’t far off, of course. He’d only asked her for a bet, and Remus sincerely doubted that his feelings for her ran further than skin-deep. But she got one thing seriously wrong in her assumptions.

“He’s not asking you out for a laugh,” he said slowly. “What made you think that?”

“Come off it, Remus,” Sarah said, a slight edge to her voice. “Back in third year, I overheard him say I was ugly. But now, suddenly, he’s _always known that I was the most beautiful girl in the world?_ Forgive me if I find that hard to believe. I know what kind of person he is. He’s been trying to get me to like him just so that he can make some joke at my expense.”

Remus blinked at her. “Hey,” he said softly, pulling his chair closer and leaning in. He grabbed her by the face and turned her to look at him. “He’s not pranking you, and he’s not making fun of you in any way. No one is. And he doesn’t think you’re ugly. He told me just yesterday that you’re easy on the eyes.”

Sarah resisted the urge to smile at that and looked at him with apprehensive eyes. “How do I know you’re not just in on the whole joke?”

Remus gave her a small smirk. “Because I’m not a prick. Trust me, I wouldn’t let them make fun of you like that.”

“You let them get away with a lot of things,” Sarah pointed out.

“Yes,” Remus acquiesced with a slight frown. “But I wouldn’t let them get away with that. That’s not harmless fun; that’s just mean.”

Sarah chewed on her lip in thought for a moment. “Okay, maybe you’re not in on it. But it doesn’t mean I trust him.”

Remus sighed. “Fair enough. You don’t have to trust him. But trust me that I wouldn’t let you be a punchline.”

“Thanks,” Sarah said with a small smile. As he returned the smile, he felt his gut twist with guilt. He wasn’t _lying_ to her, exactly, but he was certainly toeing that line. Not only that, but he had gotten her into this whole mess. He was the one who threw her name out for the bet, after all.

By the time he left the library an hour later, he’d managed to convince her that he wasn’t in on the joke, and he’d mostly convinced her that there wasn’t even a joke to be in on. However, he hadn’t even tried to convince her to trust Sirius.

As he made his way through the corridors, he knew what he had to do. As long as this bet continued, he knew Sirius wouldn’t stop until he’d won. And that was sure to get them found out. Worse still, it was sure to end in Sarah getting hurt. It had all gone too far, and it was time to end it before it got any worse.

A few moments later, he found Sirius in their dorm. James and Peter sat on James’ bed, sharing a box of Bertie Bott’s and gagging appropriately while Sirius sat at his desk, hunched over a few dozen rolls of parchment.

“Call off the bet,” Remus said as he shut the door behind him.

“What?” James asked, grimacing as he swallowed a sausage-flavoured bean. “What happened?”

Sirius hadn’t yet looked up from his parchment, so engrossed in what he was writing that he’d not even noticed that Remus had entered the room. With an irritated glare, Remus ripped the paper from his hands, and Sirius jumped, pulling his hands back.

“Ow, Moony,” he said, inspecting a small paper cut and sucking on his finger. “What’s your problem?”

“Call off the bet,” Remus repeated, chucking the parchment to the floor.

Sirius rolled his eyes and bent over to get his paper. “Now, why would I do that?”

“I spoke to Sarah,” Remus said simply.

Sirius quickly sat up, suddenly interested in what Remus had to say. “What did she say? What did I do wrong?”

“She thinks you’re making fun of her,” Remus said. “She thinks you’ve been trying to get her to like you so that you can ask her out for a prank.”

Sirius stood, a shocked frown on his face. “What gave her that idea?”

Remus sighed. “Apparently she overheard you calling her ugly, but then you said you’ve always thought she was beautiful or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really focusing on that part because I was trying to convince her that we’re not mocking her,” he finished sarcastically.

“Damn,” Sirius said, biting his lip. “I laid it on too strong, then. Should’ve taken the ‘I only just realised’ route. No matter. I’ll fix it. Thanks, Moony,” Sirius said, patting Remus on the shoulder and returning to his desk.

Remus stared at him in disbelief. “Did you not hear me? She thinks you’re making fun of her.”

“Yeah, but I’m not,” Sirius shrugged. “Don’t see why I should call off the bet just because she’s got the wrong idea.”

“But she hasn’t got the wrong idea, has she?” Remus said, his voice rising in anger. “You might not be making fun of her, but you’re still using her for a bet.”

“And whose fault is that, hm?” Sirius raised a haughty brow.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Remus continued. “I shouldn’t have put her name up. I get that. But I’m trying to fix that now. I don’t want her getting hurt.”

“I’m with Moony on this,” James chimed in. “Maybe we should just call off the bet. It’s no fun if she’s getting her feelings hurt.”

“Fine,” Sirius said, turning to James. “If you want to call off the bet, we will. But that means that _you_ forfeit, and _you_ will be streaking.”

“What?” James gawked, scooting to the edge of the bed. “How’s that fair?”

“Well, you’re the one who’s willing to call it off. _I’m_ not backing out for anything.”

“Well, neither am I,” James glared.

“Good,” Sirius grinned triumphantly. “We’re still on, then.”

“Sirius,” Remus said exasperatedly. “I’m not kidding. I don’t want her getting hurt.”

“Relax, Moony,” Sirius drawled with an exaggerated shake of his head. “She’s not going to get hurt.” He went over to his trunk and rummaged around inside.

“You don’t know that,” Remus said, following him, desperate for him to listen to him for once. “What if she starts actually having feelings for you? How do you think she’d feel if she found out that you’re just trying to get close to her for a bet?”

Sirius scoffed as he pulled out a book of poetry. “Not my fault if she falls for me. Besides, weren’t _you_ the one who assured me she wouldn’t ever like me?”

“I didn’t realise it would get this far,” Remus said, two pink, angry dots colouring his cheeks.

“Look,” Sirius said, laying a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “I’m not calling off the bet. You can beg all you want. But a bet’s a bet, and I’m not backing out.”

Remus gritted his teeth, trying to contain his anger. “Fine,” he said, shoving Sirius’ hand away. “I’ll tell her.”

“What?”

“I’ll tell her that it’s all a bet. I don’t want her going into this blindly. If you’re using her, she deserves to know.”

Sirius glared, his eyes going dark. “Well, I’ll just tell her that you were the one who got her into this.”

“Go ahead,” Remus shrugged. “I’d rather she know everything than nothing.”

“Are you sure about that?” Sirius sneered. “How do you think she’d react if she knew that _you,_ her supposed _friend_ , put her name up? How friendly do you think she’d be once she finds out you’re the reason she’s in this whole mess? Sure, she might be pissed at me for trying to win the bet. But she’s never really liked me before, anyway. But _you…_ you’ve been her friend for, what? Five years now? Who’s betrayal do you think would hurt more? I certainly wouldn’t want to continue a friendship with someone who made me the subject of a bet, would you?”

“Sirius, mate, come on,” James said from his bed. “That’s going too far.”

“Be quiet, James,” Sirius said calmly, his eyes still focused on Remus’. “Tell her if you want. But if I go down, you’ll be going down with me.”

The room was silent as Sirius’ words hung thick in the air. James and Peter shared a look, and Remus stood rooted to the spot, his face white with the realisation that Sirius was right. If he told her anything, their friendship would be over in a second. He’d spent so long trying to make friends, and he wasn’t exactly willing to give up the ones he had now.

The colour came flooding back to his face in an instant. “Fuck you,” he said quietly before storming from the room, slamming the door behind him.

“That was bang out of order,” Peter said quietly.

“Right?” Sirius said, turning to Peter with a soft laugh. “I can’t believe he’d try to get me to cancel the bet.”

“No,” Peter said, a nervous edge to his voice. “What you said.”

“Excuse me?” Sirius said, his smile fading.

Peter bit his lip, trying to gather his courage. “You were really mean. You threatened to ruin their entire friendship for a bet. That’s not okay.”

Sirius stared at Peter. Part of him felt pride for the boy for finally standing up for what he thought, but mostly he was furious at being told off, even if it was such a soft telling-off.

“No one asked for your opinion, Wormtail,” Sirius said, sneering slightly. “In fact, no one has _ever_ asked for your opinion.”

“Sirius,” James said with a miffed shake of his head. “Leave him alone. You’re being a dick.”

“Oh, _I’m_ being a dick, am I?” Sirius laughed incredulously.

“Yeah,” James said, standing from the bed. “You’ve been focusing on nothing but this stupid bet ever since we made it. You spend half of your time lying to Hughes just to impress her and the other half coming up with more lies to tell her. You’ve barely spoken to us since we’ve started, and now you’re turning into a royal prick just because Remus had the _audacity_ to call you out.”

“Oh, and you’re so perfect?” Sirius snapped. “Every time _precious Evans_ is around, you turn into a complete twat trying to show off.”

“Well, at least I’m being genuine!”

“Genuine my arse! You turn into such a bell end when she’s around, I want to hex you _for_ her!”

“Well, if I’m such a _bell end,_ why do you even stick around, huh? Why don’t you just fuck off if I’m such a twat?”

“Maybe I will!” Sirius shouted, grabbing his parchments and stomping from the room, slamming the door for the second time that night.

***

“Do we have to go?” Sarah complained as they stepped out of the kitchens. “Can’t we just say we’re sick or something?”

“You were the one that signed us up for this,” Anna pointed out.

“And I think it would be a bit obvious is _all_ of us were sick,” Gretchen laughed, levitating the large pile of food in front of her.

“Fine, I’ll be the sick one,” Sarah grumbled, dragging her feet as they made their way through the halls. “You two can go on your own.”

“You’re not getting out of this,” Anna continued, grabbing Sarah by the elbow and tugging her along. “It’ll be fun. We like Lily, remember?”

“And Dorcas always has some juicy gossip to share,” Gretchen said excitedly.

“I don’t care about gossip,” Sarah said.

“Right,” Anna rolled her eyes. “All you care about is sitting in bed and moping about Sirius fucking Black. Come on, Sarah! You’ve been a fucking nightmare for two days now. Just come have fun and forget about Black for a couple of hours.”

“Oh, I’ve completely forgotten about Black, believe you me. I won’t ever talk to that son of a bitch for as long as I live,” Sarah said, her anger flaring up once more. Ever since Sirius asked her out, she’d been going round in circles, jumping from anger to sadness to paranoia to hesitant forgiveness. Then, she’d think of some new reason to hate him, and her anger reared its head once more, starting the cycle over again.

“Sarah,” Gretchen warned. “Give it a rest, will you? We’re here to have a nice time. No talking about Sirius Black, and no pissy complaints. Just nice, simple, girl talk. Just shoes and books and makeup and music.”

“Fine,” Sarah mumbled, her lips twitching as she fought back the urge to spew more grievances about the Gryffindor.

They made their way up to the fourth floor, finally reaching the small alcove Lily mentioned at the end of the hallway. As they peeked their heads around the corner, they found that Lily, Dorcas, and Mary had already arrived and were transfiguring a few classroom chairs into some comfortable couches and tables.

“Oh, there you girl are!” Lily said, rushing over to greet the new arrivals.

“Hey, Lily,” Anna said, grabbing Sarah by the arm once again. She’d been trying to inch out of view, presumably to sneak away before Lily noticed her, but Anna was too quick and was already pulling her into the room.

“Did you happen to bring snacks?” Mary asked, setting up a few plates and bowls on the table in front of the couches.

“Of course,” Gretchen said, plopping the food onto the table. “What kind of Hufflepuffs do you think we are?”

As Gretchen started chatting away with the Gryffindors, Anna leaned over to Sarah and whispered in her ear. “Remember, no bitching about Black. Just try to have fun, yeah?”

Sarah sighed. Anna was right. She’d been moping for long enough, and she’d been getting angry at the smallest things. She’d even started to get angry about hypotheticals and imaginary conversations. It was time to put it all behind her and have a nice evening with some cool girls.

The six of them sat down and started filling their plates with the various cakes and crisps. At first, the room was filled with an awkward silence as the girls munched on their food, nervously side-eyeing each other. They’d known each other for years, but the only times they’d ever spoken to one another was in the classroom. Sure, there was the occasional chat in the hallway, but they’d never properly hung out as friends. What were they even supposed to talk about?

After a moment, Dorcas broke the silence. “So did you hear about Filch?” That was all it took to break the awkwardness.

“No,” Gretchen said, leaning forward in her seat, suddenly intrigued. “What happened?”

“Well,” Dorcas began, glancing around the room as if someone were listening in. “I heard from Emily Vanity that Dirk Cresswell found him in the trophy room this morning absolutely smashed.” 

“What happened?” Anna asked with wide eyes. “Was he attacked?”

Mary snorted. “Not quite.”

“Apparently,” Dorcas continued with a smirk. “He mistook Laughing Gyms for regular mushrooms.”

“What are Laughing Gyms?” Gretchen asked with a confused frown.

“They’re used to make the Tonic of Sight,” Lily said.

“And they’ll give you wicked hallucinations,” Mary said with a mischievous grin.

“I guess he ate a whole bunch of them,” Dorcas said between giggles. “And he started rounding up all of the cats in the school for some reason. Said something about seeing a massive mouse in the dungeons and needed ‘reinforcements.’ When Dirk found him this morning, he was practically buried in cats.”

“Oh, no,” Sarah said with a pitying laugh.

“How many cats are we talking, here?” Gretchen asked.

“Like, 50,” Mary chuckled.

“Merlin,” Anna breathed. “Can you imagine the smell?”

For the next hour, the girls chatted away, munching on cakes and gossiping about this and that. Gretchen and Mary gushed about the new cloak line at Gladrags, Lily shared some of the gossip she’d found out at the Prefect meetings of who’d gotten detentions and for what, and Anna and Dorcas complained about the mountains of homework assignments the teachers were giving them in preparation for their O.W.L.’s.

Sarah found herself genuinely enjoying herself, laughing as Dorcas told them of the horrible first date she’d had with Michael Ungerton the previous weekend. For the first time in two days, she’d actually forgotten about the Nameless Bastard. That is, until Mary asked her the wrong question.

“So, Sarah,” Mary asked, leaning back against the back of her large, comfy chair. “I heard a little rumour that you and Sirius Black are dating.”

“Oh, here we go,” Anna mumbled.

Sarah’s eyes narrowed, and her smile dropped instantly as her lips scrunched up so tightly that they were practically white. “I’m not dating that prick.”

“Oh?” Dorcas asked, looking between Sarah and her roommates. “I heard you two were getting pretty friendly. Did something happen?”

“Oh, something happened all right, let me tell you,” Sarah began, raising a finger and moving to the edge of her seat. Anna and Gretchen shared an exhausted glance, listening to Sarah recount the story for the millionth time.

Anna and Gretchen may not have been interested, but Lily, Dorcas, and Mary were listening with rapt attention as she told them everything, her eyes alight with rage and her hands flailing animatedly.

When she finished her rant, Dorcas cocked her head in thought. “It definitely sounds sketchy,” she said slowly. “But I’m not so sure it’s a prank.”

“I agree with Dorcas,” Lily said. “He can be a real jerk, but I don’t think he’d go so far as to make you like him just for a joke.”

“Even so,” Sarah said. “I still don’t trust him. Even if he’s not doing it for a prank, he still called me a toad. And it was stupid of me to have forgiven him so easily just because he’s been acting mature and cultured and gentlemanly.” 

“I wouldn’t say it was stupid,” Mary said gently. “He can be very persuasive when he wants to be, and he was laying it on thick. It only makes sense that you believed him. But I can tell you right now that he’s not as mature as he’s been letting on.”

“He makes dick jokes on a daily basis, for Merlin’s sake,” Lily said with an unimpressed purse of her lips.

“And he’s not cultured,” Dorcas added. “I’ve hardly ever seen him read anything other than _Stud Magazine_.”

“And he certainly isn’t a gentleman,” Mary rolled her eyes. “He shoved Jessica Hornglass into the lake a few weeks ago.”

“So he _has_ just been faking so that I’ll like him,” Sarah grumbled, giving Anna and Gretchen an accusatory glare.

“That doesn’t mean he’s trying to prank you, though,” Anna rolled her eyes.

“Maybe he really does like you, but he’s just a stupid boy who doesn’t know how to show it, so he’s doing what he thinks you’ll like,” Gretchen said.

“That’s a possibility,” Lily said. “He only ever puts effort into things that are important to him, and I really doubt he’d care this much about a dare. And I’ve never seen him take such an interest in a girl before. There was Bridgette back in third year and Marlene last year, but they pursued him, not the other way around. If he’s putting in this much effort to make you like him, maybe he really does like you.”

“And you said Remus assured you that it wasn’t a dare or a prank or anything?” Dorcas asked.

“Yeah,” Sarah said, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

“Well, then, it can’t be a prank,” Dorcas continued with a note of finality. “Remus is a good guy. He wouldn’t lie to you like that, and he certainly wouldn’t let Sirius go that far if that’s what it is.”

“See?” Anna said in a slightly mocking tone. “You’re just being paranoid about all of this.”

“We told you you were overreacting,” Gretchen added.

“Maybe you’re right,” Sarah sighed. “But even if it’s not a prank, he’s still trying to be something he’s not. I’m not interested in dating someone who can’t even be themselves around me.”

“Good for you,” Mary smiled. “If he’s not going to open up and be himself with you, you don’t want to be with him.”

“Just ignore him,” Dorcas said. “He’s been rejected by you twice now, yeah? He’s too proud for his own good, so he probably won’t ask again. Best thing now is just to pretend the whole thing didn’t happen and move on with your life.”

“You’re right,” Sarah smiled, finally feeling a little better about the whole situation. “If I’m lucky, I won’t have to deal with him for the rest of the year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Sirius, you're such a dick sometimes...
> 
> I hope Sarah's reaction wasn't too far-fetched. I figured she'd been hanging onto that comment in third year for so long that it would be hard not to be paranoid at this point.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! As always, comments are appreciated :)


	8. Bonus Step Six: Relentless Pursuit

On Monday morning, Sarah awoke with the sunrise, feeling refreshed, light, and free of any lingering anger. It was a new week, and it simply wouldn’t do to fixate on the previous week’s miserable happenings. As she opened her eyes, she was determined to put all thoughts of Sirius Black out of her mind and avoid him like the plague.

When she sat up, however, she realised that that would be impossible.

Sitting on the trunk at the end of her bed was a rather large bouquet of carnations. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she reached forward and grabbed the bouquet. They were absolutely beautiful, and each of the delicate petals was perfectly intact without a hint of withering. She smiled to herself and fingered the petals, marvelling at how soft they were.

“Whoa,” Anna said as she stepped out of the bathroom, her towel slung over her shoulder and her hair dripping wet. “Who are those from?”

“No idea,” Sarah mumbled, still awestruck by the flowers.

“Well, what’s the card say?” Anna asked impatiently as she cast a quick drying spell at her hair.

Sarah fiddled with the small, white parchment attached to the stems and opened it up, her eyes quickly darting across the parchment. Her smile dropped immediately as she read the words.

“Well?” Anna insisted, peering over Sarah’s shoulder to try to read the card.

“They’re from Black,” Sarah said, tossing the flowers unceremoniously into the rubbish bin.

“Really?” Anna asked, fishing the flowers from the bin and reading the card. She let out a loud laugh. “Oh, Merlin, Sarah. You just can’t catch a break, can you?”

“What’s going on?” Gretchen asked groggily, peeking her head out of the curtains around her bed.

“Black sent Sarah flowers,” Anna informed her, appearing much too amused, in Sarah’s humble opinion.

Gretchen pushed all thoughts of sleep aside and leapt from her bed to snatch the flowers away. “Ha!” She laughed as she read the card. “ _I’m Siriusly into you!_ That’s brilliant.”

“It’s not brilliant,” Sarah muttered, disappearing into the bathroom and angrily going through her morning routine.

Could he not just leave her alone? She’d said no twice. What, did he think flowers and a cheesy pun would make her say yes? Quite frankly, nothing could make her say yes at this point. He’d insulted her, lied to her, and made her look a fool in front of her friends and his. He could send as many flowers as he wanted, but she would never date that prick.

On their way out of their dorm, Sarah noticed that _someone_ had taken the liberty of placing the flowers in a vase on her desk. With a growl of frustration, she vanished the entire display, card and all.

“I thought Dorcas said he wouldn’t try anything else,” Sarah grumbled as they stepped into the common room.

“Looks like she was wrong,” Gretchen giggled.

“Guess so,” Sarah said. “Hopefully, flowers is all he’ll try.”

As they stepped through the barrel, Anna stopped in her tracks. “I don’t think you’re going to be that lucky,” she said.

“Why?” Sarah asked, stepping around her and out into the corridor. She froze at the sight of Sirius Black leaning against the wall opposite the Hufflepuff entrance. As he stood there, one leg bent with his foot resting against the wall, he bit into an apple and glanced up and down the corridor, clearly waiting for someone.

“Oh, mother fu—” Sarah heaved a great sigh and trudged further into the hallway, determined not to even make eye contact.

“There you are,” Sirius said as he caught sight of her. He tossed the apple out of the window behind him and ran to catch up with her. “I’ve been waiting for you for ages.”

“What do you want, Black?” Sarah asked, trying to keep her voice as uninterested as possible.

“Oh,” Sirius said forlornly. “Back to surnames, I see.”

“I reserve given names for people I actually like,” Sarah snapped.

“If I recall correctly,” Sirius said with a smirk. “You said you liked me just a few days ago.”

Sarah gritted her teeth and swallowed her retort, trying desperately to keep her temper in check. “What do you want, Black?” She repeated in a strained tone.

“I was hoping I could walk to you the Great Hall for breakfast,” Sirius said, his cheery voice an odd partner to her stony sneer.

“No, thank you,” she said, her eyes set straight ahead.

“Oh, comes on, Hughes,” he said. “I’m not asking for a date. I just want to walk you to breakfast.”

“I said no,” Sarah said a bit too loudly, shooting him a glare.

“Yikes,” he mumbled. “Okay, okay. I can take a hint.”

As they continued walking side-by-side, Sarah glanced at him with an irritated huff. “I thought I told you you couldn’t walk with me.”

“I’m not,” Sirius said with an imperturbable shrug. “We just happen to be walking next to each other in the same direction.”

Sarah groaned, trying to walk faster to get rid of him, but his long legs easily kept their stride with hers. When she realised that she wouldn’t possibly be able to outrun him, she walked slower, hoping that he would continue on without her. Luck just wasn’t on her side today, and he slowed his gait to match hers. She rolled her eyes and did her best to simply ignore him.

“Did you get my flowers?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Did you like them?”

“I thought they were perfectly horrible.”

“Not a fan of carnations, then?” Sirius chuckled, knowing for a fact that carnations were her favourite flower. He hadn’t stalked her — ahem, done _recon —_ for nothing, after all.

As they came upon the Great Hall, she turned to him and glared. “I couldn’t possibly think of an uglier flower.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time, then,” Sirius smirked, completely unfazed by her venomous tone.

“There better not be a next time, Black,” she hissed, jabbing a finger at his chest. “I don’t want your stupid flowers, and I don’t want your stupid cards. I just want to be left alone.”

She started for the Hufflepuff table, hoping that would be that, but Sirius tugged on her sleeve and kept her in place.

“Why don’t you join me at the Gryffindor table?” He asked with a sincere smile, looking down at her with the boyish charm that may have once made her swoon. Now, it just made her red with anger.

“Did you not hear me?” She asked as if he were stupid. “I said leave me alone. Now, if you would kindly _let go_ so that I might enjoy my breakfast in peace.”

Sirius sighed in disappointment, but let go of her sleeve nonetheless. “You’ll say yes eventually,” he called after her as she stomped away.

A moment later when Anna and Gretchen joined her, she rounded on them. “Where the bloody hell were you? You just left me with _him_!”

“You ran off,” Anna shrugged as she slid into her seat. “Sorry, but I’m not about to run at 8 in the morning.”

“Besides,” Gretchen added. “We figured you could handle him on your own. He’s asked you out before, and you haven’t succumbed to his wicked ways just yet.”

Sarah cast a glare at the Gryffindor table and caught Sirius’ eye. He winked at her and raised his goblet in a silent salute. Narrowing her eyes at him, she turned back to her roommates. “And I certainly never will.”

***

Throughout the day, Sirius was constantly at her side. Like a weed that just kept sprouting up, regardless of how many times she tried to stomp it away.

When he offered to carry her books for her, she assured him that she was perfectly capable of carrying her own books. When she found him waiting for her outside of her classrooms to walk her to her next class, she informed him that she didn’t need a babysitter to walk her around. When he invited her, yet again, to join him at the Gryffindor table for lunch, she politely declined, saying that she’d rather starve than eat with him.

That afternoon, she found a brief moment’s respite, as Sirius had left her alone for an entire three hours before dinner.

“Finally,” she said as she slid into the Hufflepuff table. “Some peace!”

“Looks like you jinxed it,” Gretchen mumbled. Sarah was about to ask what she meant when she caught sight of Black sauntering over to the Hufflepuff table.

“Son of a bitch,” she mumbled, ducking her head and hoping that, perhaps, he was just walking past and didn’t actually intend on stopping to talk. But, of course, he wasn’t, and he did.

“Good evening, ladies,” he said with a wide smile, and Sarah was uncomfortably reminded of the conversation that started this whole mess nearly a month ago.

“Black,” Anna and Gretchen said in unison. She was glad to see that his charm had worn off and that their once fan-girlish greetings had turned lukewarm at best.

“Sarah,” Sirius said, his eyes twinkling with amusement at her hate-filled glare. “I was wondering if you wanted to —”

“No,” Sarah interrupted him. “I don’t want to eat with you.”

Sirius scoffed. “That’s not what I was going to ask,” he said. “Merlin, so presumptuous.”

Sarah closed her eyes and sighed. “What is it, then?”

“Well,” he began. “Hagrid is having a pumpkin pie eating contest tomorrow after lunch. What do you say? You, me, and enough pumpkin pie to make us puke.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “As romantic as that sounds,” she said with a sarcastic sneer. “I’ll have to pass.”

“Okay, okay,” Sirius said with a defeated sigh. “We won’t enter the competition. We’ll just split a pie between us.”

“No,” Sarah insisted. “I’m not going at all.”

“Okay,” Sirius nodded, completely undeterred. “What are we going to do instead, then?”

Sarah resisted the urge to punch him. “ _You_ can do what you want. _I_ will not be doing it with you.”

“Oh, come on, Sarah,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Surely, there must be something that will make you change your mind.”

“No,” she snapped. “Nothing will make me change my mind. Now, bugger off, will you? We’re trying to eat, and you’re ruining my appetite.”

“My apologies,” he said, placing a hand over his heart. “I’ll leave you to it. Anna, Gretchen.” He nodded to the two girls who gave him mild hums in response. He turned back to Sarah and said, “See you tomorrow afternoon, yeah?” With a final wink, he started walking away.

“No, you won’t!” She called after him.

“Tomorrow, half one. Don’t be late!” He called over his shoulder, ignoring her protests.

“You going to go?” Anna asked, shovelling pasta in her mouth.

“Certainly not,” Sarah muttered.

“But he’s expecting you! You don’t want to stand him up for your date, do you?” Gretchen teased. Her smile dropped at Sarah’s glare, and she ducked her head to avoid that look.

***

The next day, Sarah awoke to more flowers, this time being classic, red roses. Curling her lip in distaste, she glanced at the card. Next to a small drawing of a snitch, he’d written, “You’re a CATCH!” She chucked the flowers into the bin without a second thought.

When she stepped out of the Hufflepuff common room and into the empty hallway, she cautiously looked left, then right, and let out a great sigh of relief when she realised that Sirius was blessedly nowhere in sight.

That relief as short-lived, however, when, at breakfast, she was bombarded by owl after owl, each carrying a single red rose that burst into heart-shaped confetti when it dropped from the owl’s talons.

“It’s not funny,” Sarah said, brushing the confetti from her hair as Anna and Gretchen sniggered, not even trying to hide their amusement.

“It is a bit,” Anna said with a very unladylike snort.

“How is any of this supposed to get me to like him?” Sarah asked with a huff.

“Maybe he’s taking a page from Potter’s book,” Gretchen said.

“Merlin, I hope not,” Sarah groaned, hoping to every God out there that Sirius wouldn’t try to relentlessly pursue her like James had Lily.

“If that’s the case,” Anna said with a warning frown. “He’s not going to stop until you say yes. He’s been asking Lily since first year, and he’s still at it.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” Sarah said acerbically.

At that moment, one last owl arrived. Sarah glared at it as she watched it fly, knowing it was for her, as all the owls had been that morning, but she regarded it curiously when she failed to spot another rose. As the owl flew past, it dropped a howler, of all things, on her plate before flying off. She stared in horror for a brief second. No way could this be from Black.

“Run,” Gretchen breathed.

“Now,” Anna urged.

Sarah scrambled to her feet, howler in hand, trying desperately to get out of the Great Hall before it burst open. She already had everyone’s attention from the damned confetti, but she certainly didn’t want them to hear what was in this envelope.

She’d barely had time to slide out of her seat before it burst open, filling the room with Sirius’ voice.

“My dearest Sarah, how you inspire me so!

Thine eyes shine brighter than amber in the sun,

Thine hair more flowy than the hills of Glasgow.

How I long to —”

Sarah whipped out her wand, and the screeching parchment lit up in flames, crumbling to the floor in a pile of ashes. The Hall was silent for a moment before it erupted in whispers and sniggers. Sarah concentrated on her breathing, trying to ignore the utter fury and humiliation that was threatening to bubble out of her mouth in a scream.

“That was…” Anna trailed off.

“Interesting,” Gretchen finished for her.

“I was going to say a fucking nightmare, but interesting works,” Anna mumbled.

With trembling fingers, Sarah grabbed her bag. “I’ll see you in class,” she said with forced calmness, stepping over the pile of ash and leaving the Great Hall, feeling the hundreds of eyes on her back as she did so.

That afternoon, Sarah and Gretchen sat at their desk, as they waited for Ancient Runes to begin.

“Who does he think he is? Fucking just humiliate me in front of the entire school. Prick arse…shit…bitch,” Sarah heaved, so angry that she couldn’t even formulate her thoughts coherently.

Gretchen snorted. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Wasn’t that bad?” Sarah repeated, her voice getting higher with each word. “Gretch, he sent me a _howler_ in front of _everyone._ It’s literally the worst thing he could have done.”

“At least he hasn’t been bombarding you,” Gretchen said. “You haven’t seen him today, yeah? He tried the howler, it didn’t work, _and_ you stood him up at Hagrid’s. Maybe he got the hint, and he’ll back off now.”

“He fucking better,” Sarah muttered, folding her arms across her chest and pouting as she leaned back in her chair. “Because I will literally murder him if he tries anything else.”

***

Two weeks later, Sarah Hughes was plotting the murder of Sirius Black.

On Hallowe’en, she awoke to more flowers, this time with a card sporting a small drawing of a ghost saying, “You’re haunting my dreams!” She incinerated them with a flick of her wand.

Throughout the day, a hoard of skeletons had been charmed to follow her around, singing songs and trying to romance her into joining Sirius at the Gryffindor Hallowe’en party that night. By the end of the day, the castle was filled with chattering piles of bones that she’d blasted out of aggravation.

The next day, Sarah chucked the usual bunch of flowers in the fireplace without even glancing at the card.

As she stepped into the Great Hall, she spotted Sirius levitating a large banner above her normal spot at the Hufflepuff table. She didn’t need to see anymore and promptly turned on her heel, deciding that she would be taking her meals in the kitchens for the rest of the year.

The next day, she was followed by owls, dropping love letters in her lap, tapping at the windows of her classes, and swooping at her in the corridors. By the end of the day, she’d managed to perfect her stunning spell and felt only slightly guilty about the owls that littered the hallways.

The day after that, he’d charmed a small cherub to follow her around, sprinkling rose petals in front of her and serenading her, much to the annoyance of her teachers and amusement of her fellow classmates. By the end of the day, she’d shot the little devil with a blasting spell, and he disappeared in a plume of smoke.

The following day, he cornered her in the hallway, proclaiming with a smile that it was his birthday. She tried her hardest to swallow her anger, and she wished him a happy birthday before moving along. To her utter horror, he grabbed her hand and bent on one knee, declaring to everyone in the vicinity that his one birthday wish was to take Sarah on a date. She glanced at the onlookers, all of whom seemed to find this display perfectly romantic. Sarah, on the other hand, found it entirely vile that he would try to guilt her into saying yes and ripped her hand away before continuing on her way to class without a word, leaving the pathetic boy to call, “So, is that a yes?” to her retreating back.

In every class, he tried his hardest to sit next to her. In Defence, he quickly grabbed onto her sleeve, ensuring that they would be partners. Unfortunately for him, they were practising the tongue-tying spell that day, and Sarah quickly made sure that he would not be talking to her for the remainder of class.

In Potions, she felt a wave of panic as she saw him waving her over to sit in the empty seat beside him. She quickly slid into the nearest available seat and felt her stomach drop as she realised she’d sat beside Greg.

“You lost, Hughes?” He asked, flipping through his book and not even deigning to look in her direction.

“You still a cradle-robber, Dovetail?” She snapped.

“Joke’s on you because I don’t know what that means,” he retorted with a pompous waggle of his head.

She rolled her eyes and tried to remind herself that even Greg The Douche would be a better table partner than Sirius Black. At least Greg wouldn’t be a constant distraction by asking her out every other second.

It seemed like everywhere she looked, there he was. Sending her flowers, reading her poetry, asking her on dates. At one point, he’d even thrown himself down the stairs, claiming that he’d “fallen for her!”

She tried to spend as much time as possible in the one place that she figured she’d never run into Black — the library. Unfortunately, she’d seriously underestimated his persistence. The idiot had charmed every book in the library to read her romantic sonnets every time she opened the front cover. After the third book, he’d successfully gotten her kicked out of the library for her ‘constant noisemaking.’

She found herself taking refuge in the Great Hall during her study periods. At least there, Sirius would be kicked out if he tried any more of his _grand gestures_.

As she sat at the Hufflepuff table, surrounded by the quiet mutterings of the other students, she sighed contentedly. It had been an entire two hours since Sirius had tried anything, and Sarah was blissfully enjoying the brief moment of peace.

Suddenly, a movement caught her attention, and she looked up to find Lily Evans and Severus Snape approaching her from the opposite side of the table.

“Hey, Sarah,” Lily said with a smile.

“Hey, Lily. Severus,” Sarah said, nodding to the sullen boy beside the cheerful redhead. He gave her a curt nod in return.

“Mind if we join you?” Lily asked, already sliding into the seat. “Sev refuses to sit at the Gryffindor table, and I’m not exactly fond of the Slytherin table.”

“Not at all,” Sarah smiled. “You’re always welcome here in Switzerland.” She tried to ignore the slight distaste on Severus’ face, as though he would dearly love to be anywhere but the Hufflepuff table.

“What are you working on?” Lily asked, nodding to Sarah’s open notes as she pulled out her own textbook.

“Alchemy. We’ve got a three-feet of parchment due at the end of the week, and I’ve barely written a paragraph.”

“Alchemy?” Lily asked in surprise. “I thought you had to be a sixth year to take that?”

Sarah shrugged bashfully. “Yeah, normally. But Professor Sprout put in a good word for me.”

“Wow. That’s pretty cool,” Lily said with an impressed smile at Severus. He gave her a tight-lipped smile in return, but Sarah noticed the slightest bit of intrigue in the way he eyed her notes.

“So, what is Alchemy, anyway?” Lily continued. “Like, turning things to gold, right?”

“Not exactly,” Sarah laughed. “I mean, yeah, we talk about base metals, noble metals, all of that. But there’s also a really big spiritual element to it. Right now we’re talking about the philosophical theories. Like this, here,” she turned her notes around and pointed to one section. “Is the theory of Kundalini. It’s the Indian philosophy that there’s a snake coiled at the base of our spines. We’re all born with it, and it’s basically the source of our life force and magical powers. As we grow, it uncoils a bit with each major life event we go through, but it never uncoils that much on its own. But with a bit of work, we can completely unravel it, and it will awaken each chakra. Then we can open up all sorts of untapped power, and we’ll be able to control and communicate with the magic around us. Not just our own, but other people’s magic, as well.”

“Control other people’s magic?” Lily asked, shocked. “That sounds horrible!”

“Well,” Sarah amended. “Not so much the magic within other people. But lingering magic that they’ve already put out into the world. So, if they curse an object or something, it’s easier to see it and get rid of the dark magic. And it makes defensive magic easier, too.”

“And how do you unravel it?” Severus asked, completely forgetting to look uninterested.

“Mostly through meditation and yoga and all that hippy stuff. But unravelling it too quickly can be dangerous because it can be really overwhelming, and it can even kill you. Sort of like a ‘flying too close to the sun’ sort of thing. If you’re not ready for it, it can really hurt you and break your magic.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Lily said with a frown. “All that power. Can you imagine if a dark wizard was able to actually control the magic around him like that?”

“Well, that’s the great thing about this,” Sarah said with an excited smile. “A truly dark wizard could never unlock this sort of power because it requires them to be in touch with the seven chakras. So a dark wizard could never get past them. And even if he did, he wouldn’t be a dark wizard anymore because the chakras would open him up to enlightenment. Well, that’s my theory, anyway. That’s what I’m writing my essay on.”

For the next few minutes, Sarah explained the fundamentals of Alchemy and how it can be used in the various fields of magic. By the end of her explanation, even Severus, who had clearly not wanted to sit with her, had actively joined in the discussion.

“I will definitely be taking this next year,” Lily said, eagerly flipping through Sarah’s notes.

“You should,” Sarah smiled. “It’s really interesting. And it uses a lot of muggle science, too, so you’ll have a leg up against those snobby pure-bloods.”

Lily laughed. “Finally, an advantage!”

As the two of them laughed, there was a pop at Sarah’s side. With a curious frown, she looked to see what the noise was and immediately groaned at the sight of three balloons hovering beside her, one red, one yellow, and one green. She didn’t even need to read the card to know whose stupid idea this was.

“What in the world is that?” Lily asked, perplexed.

“Bullshit is what it is,” Sarah muttered, snatching the card away and skimming it. “Ah, yeah, see? Listen to this shit. _Agent Sarah, your mission, should you choose to accept_ —He’s doing a fucking Bond thing, now? — _is to go on a date with Agent Black. This case is strictly classified and should remain top-secret. —_ Well, don’t deliver it in the middle of the Great Hall, then, you fucking moron. — _If you accept this mission, pop the green balloon. If you accept this mission but would like to be asked in a different way, pop the yellow balloon. If, for some completely unknown reason, you have no interest in accepting this mission, pop the red balloon (I can’t imagine why you would, though)._ — I can think of a few reasons, you prick. — _We at the Headquarters will be watching for your answer. This message will self-destruct in 30 seconds._ ”

As she finished reading the message, she tilted her head back and looked up the ceiling, silently asking God why he was doing this to her.

“Wow,” Lily intoned at the silence stretched on. “That’s really weird.” Instantly, the little paper enclouded itself with fog before disappearing completely in a thin plume of vapour.

“So, Black is just watching you, then?” Severus asked with an amused curl of his lip, stealthily glancing around the room.

“He’s always bloody watching, the fucking creep,” Sarah murmured as he pulled out her wand. She noticed a shaggy head peeking around the doorframe of the Great Hall and gave it her nastiest glare before tapping two of the balloons and turning them red. With her eyes on the spying head, she quickly popped all three red balloons, causing a few of the students to shriek in surprise at the sudden noise. After sending an apologetic smile at the professor charged with surveying the room, she turned back to Lily and Severus.

“So,” Lily began with a sympathetic smile. “I guess Black hasn’t taken no for an answer, then?”

“No,” Sarah grumbled before launching into a tirade of anger. “It’s like he’s always right there. _Oh, can I carry your books for you? Oh, can I walk you to class? Oh, will you go out with me?_ It’s like, mate, no. How many times am I going to have to turn him down before he realises that I’m not bloody interested? Merlin, I just — fucking — gahh!” She slapped her palms against her temples, squeezing her head in frustration.

Lily let out a soft chuckle. “I know how you feel. Potter has been doing the same thing since first year.”

“What is with men, huh?” Sarah asked before turning to Severus. “What’s wrong with you lot?” Severus leaned back slightly, not wanting to get involved, but Sarah continued on in her rant. “Merlin, why do they think asking us out a million times will get us to say yes? I’ve said no 1,000 times. What, am I suddenly going to say yes the 1,001st time? What nonsense is that?”

“Oh, I know,” Lily rolled her eyes. “The other day, Potter didn’t even ask me to go out with him. He just said, ‘You, me, churros, tomorrow night.’”

Sarah laughed tiredly. “Who came up with that bullshit?”

“And last week,” Lily continued. “We had a written test in Transfiguration, but he’d somehow charmed my parchment so that the only question was ‘Will you go out with James Potter?’ and the choices were ‘Yes, Super Yes, or Super Mega Yes.’”

“That’s nothing,” Sarah laughed. “A couple of days ago, Black sent a _firework dragon_ chasing after me in the corridor.”

“Oh, I heard about that!”

“I don’t even know what he was trying to achieve with that!”

“Oh, Merlin,” Lily sighed. “It’s like they’re trying to have an ask-off to see who can make the biggest arse out of themselves.”

Sarah turned to Severus, who’d been silent throughout their exchange. “You’re an impartial third-party, yeah? Who do you think is winning right now?”

Severus rolled his eyes and let out a soft scoff that Sarah supposed passed as a laugh. “Well, Potter has been asking longer. But Black seems to be going for the big, idiotic gestures of a true dunderhead.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “We should start a support group. _Girls the Marauders are Obsessed with.”_

“Who even came up with that?” Sarah jeered. “The _Marauders._ For supposedly being the most popular kids in school, they sure are lame.”

“No one’s arguing that,” Severus mumbled.

“Well,” Sarah continued. “I’m all for a support group. Anna and Gretchen are getting tired of listening to my complaining.”

“You’re always welcome to complain to me,” Lily said, placing a hand on Sarah’s arm. “I know how annoying it can be to be the object of a crazy boy’s affection.”

“I just hope it won’t last much longer,” Sarah sighed. “Maybe if I just ignore him long enough, he’ll get the hint.”

“I don’t think so,” Lily shook her head sympathetically. “They’re persistent, the two of them. If Black’s pride hasn’t been hurt by now, he’s not going to stop until you say yes.”

“Great for me,” Sarah mumbled, eyeing the remains of the popped balloons.

***

By mid-November, Sarah was just trying to get through the day. Every day was filled with Sirius Black, sending her flowers, asking her out, and generally humiliating her in front of everyone with his ridiculously over-the-top proposals.

She and Lily had spent an inordinate amount of time together in their Support Group over the past week, hiding and covering for each other whenever their stalkers were around. Whenever they spotted one of the boys, the two girls would jump behind a statue, run into an empty classroom, or sprint around the corner.

They had one extremely close call when James had spotted them both and dashed after them. Being on the ground floor, the girls had jumped out the window and crouched under the windowsill, trying to control their giggling as James wondered aloud where they’d gone. “Did they just disappear?” He’d asked himself confusedly. Lily had to slap a hand over Sarah’s mouth to keep her laughter quiet.

It was almost fun spending so much time sneaking all over the castle, like a giant game of hide-and-seek, except for the part where the seekers were annoyingly persistent that the game would continue, regardless of how many times the girls asked for it to stop.

Although they were nearly always together to avoid being trapped with no way out, there were a few dangerous hours a day in which Sarah and Lily had classes on opposite sides of the castle, forcing them to walk around unprotected.

It was one of these moments when Sarah was walking to Arithmancy when Sirius cornered her.

“Hughes, wait up!” He called out, running to catch up with her. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“The answer is no,” she said immediately, speeding up slightly to try to shake him off.

“You didn’t even hear what I had to say,” he said with an easy smile that didn’t quite fit with someone who’d been rejected nearly two dozen times in the span of a month.

“I assume you wanted to ask me on a date, or ask me to watch the quidditch match with you, or ask me to eat with you at the Gryffindor table, or something else that I’ve already said no to a million times.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Don’t be silly. As you said, you’ve already said no to all of those things, so why would I ask you again?”

Sarah sighed and stopped. She knew he wouldn’t stop unless she talked to him, and it would be much less painful if she just got it over with as quickly as possible.

“What is it?” She asked, turning to face him.

“I wanted to know if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend.”

“It’s not a Hogsmeade weekend.”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean we can’t go.”

“Black, I’m not going to break school rules. Especially not with you.”

“Oh, come on, Hughes,” he began with an annoyed frown. “Don’t you want to have some fun? We’ll sneak out, grab a butterbeer, and go for a walk. I can bring a blanket so we can sit out and look at the stars. Or I could bring a radio, and we can have a nice, quiet dance in the moonlight…”

He trailed off with an expectant smile as he shimmied his shoulders slightly and waggled his eyebrows. Sarah stared at him with an unimpressed frown. After a moment, he said, “So, I’ll take your intense frown as a yes, then?”

Sarah let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

He smiled proudly. “I’ve been told.”

“That’s not a compliment,” she said angrily. “Merlin, you never give up. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to go out with you. And a cheesy date of stars and dancing is not going to change my mind.”

Sirius’ smile dropped. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t like you.”

“Yeah, but you still haven’t told me why. You just keep saying no, and you never give me a reason why.”

“You want to know the reason why?” Sarah spat.

“Yes! Of course, I do!” Sirius said, looking around as if the answer were obvious.

“I don’t like you,” she began venomously. “Because you’re an arrogant dick. You pick on everyone. You hex first years just because they can’t stand up to you. You make fun of anyone who’s different from you. You act like the rules don’t apply to you, and you do whatever you want whenever you want to do it. Merlin, you act like you shit gold just because you’re Sirius Fucking Black. Well, newsflash, buddy: the whole world doesn’t revolve around you. You’re not special.”

As she spoke, his eyes grew darker by the second until they seemed to billow like storm clouds. “Well, you didn’t seem to have a problem with me when you were _throwing_ yourself at me, like, a month ago.”

“ _Throwing myself at you_?” Sarah practically shrieked. “You’re as delusional as you are arrogant.”

“Oh, come off it, Hughes,” Sirius sneered. “Don’t think I didn’t notice. I know you wanted me to kiss you.”

“Well, that was before I knew you were lying.”

“Lying about what?”

“I heard what you said about me,” Sarah said before she could stop herself.

Sirius was suddenly quiet, his anger turning to confusion. “What did I say about you?”

Sarah sighed. She hadn’t meant to say that. But it was out now, and there was no going back. “You said that you’d wanted to ask me out since third year. But at the Winter Ball, I heard you say that I was an ugly toad and that you felt sorry for me. Don’t try to deny it,” she added when Sirius opened his mouth to protest.

Sirius’ blinked rapidly, as though trying to remember the incident. Then, after a moment, his eyes lit up with understanding, and he let out a short laugh. “Okay, first of all, I never called you ugly.”

Sarah crossed her arms petulantly. “Well, you still called me a toad.”

“If I recall,” Sirius said with a smug smile. “I said you _danced_ like a toad. Which was true. But more importantly, did you happen to notice who I was talking to?”

Sarah’s arms dropped. “No,” she said uncertainly. “But it doesn’t matter. You were still a prick.”

Sirius chuckled. “I was talking with Bridgette Neilson. My date.”

Sarah huffed. “I don’t see what that has to do with —”

“Sarah,” Sirius cut her off. “If you had heard the entire conversation, you would have heard Bridgette yelling at me for staring at you. She was mad at me for thinking you were prettier than she was, and I was just trying to calm her down.”

Sarah paused. “Oh.”

“She was my _date_. I wasn’t about to just tell her how gorgeous you looked. I’m not suicidal,” he said, rolling his eyes.

She shifted uncomfortably as she was hit with the news that she’d completely misunderstood such a pivotal moment in her hatred of Sirius Black. “Well, I didn’t know that.”

Sirius stepped forward, brushing a hand over her arm. “Did you really think I was serious when I said those things?” He asked in a soft voice. “Of course, I wasn’t. Merlin, you were the most gorgeous girl in that room. I don’t remember much about that night — firewhisky will do that to you — but I do remember you, shining in your blue dress. I just wished I wasn’t with Bridgette so that I could have asked you to dance.”

She blushed but stepped away from Sirius’ touch. “Well, I really wish I had known all of this sooner. I spent a long time being upset by it all.”

He gave her a sad smile. “I’m sorry about that. Truly. I promise I didn’t mean any of it.” After a moment, he let out a laugh. “Well, now that that’s all out of the way, what do you say we start over. At our date this weekend.”

She sighed tiredly. “Sirius, no. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to go on a date with you.”

Sirius’ smile instantly turned to an angry frown. “Why not? The reason you’re so angry with me was all a misunderstanding, and I told you what really happened. Why can’t we just go on a date already?”

“Because I don’t exactly want to start a relationship in the midst of a massive fight,” she said, her own anger flaring up again. “Besides, that’s not the only reason why I’m angry. I know you were lying to me about being smart and mature and all of that shit. You were trying to be something you’re not just so that I’d say yes, and that’s not okay.”

“Sorry for trying to be your perfect man,” he said sarcastically. “I thought you would have liked all the effort I was putting into it.”

“I appreciate the effort,” Sarah said through gritted teeth. “But I don’t appreciate being lied to.”

“Fine, I’ll just be myself then,” he said irritatedly. “So, can we go out, then?”

“Merlin, no! What is wrong with you? I’ve said no at least a hundred times, and you just won’t back off. I don’t want to date you. Even if you didn’t call me ugly, you still aren’t respecting my wishes, and, quite frankly, your blatant disregard for the feelings of others is a bit concerning. Just get it through your head, Black. I don’t want to date you. What part of that don’t you understand? I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I don’t want to be your friend. Fucking hell, at this point I don’t even want to talk to you ever again!”

“You know what your problem is, Hughes?” he countered in an icy voice.

Sarah laughed sardonically. “Oh, this ought to be good. Go on, then; what’s my problem?”

“You’re too stubborn for your own good. I said _one_ mean thing _two years ago_. I’ve apologised for it, I’ve told you why I said it, and you know that I didn’t mean it. But you just can’t let it go. You’re so hellbent on seeing the worst in me that you can’t get over yourself long enough to see that I’m not as bad as you think I am. You’re stuck on the fact that I’m an _arrogant dick,_ and you refuse to even give me a chance. Well, stay bitter and pissed at me if you want. But I’m not going to sit around and let you shit on me like this. Because you don’t even _know me_. So you got your wish. I’ll stop asking you out. You’re not the girl I thought you were, anyway.”

He turned, stalking down the hallway and leaving her there with his words echoing in her mind. She swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears at bay, and slowly made her way back to the Hufflepuff common room. She was already dreadfully late to class, and there was no way she could focus now, anyway.


	9. Sirius' New Plan

That afternoon, James, Remus, and Peter sat in Transfiguration class, casting anxious glances at the door.

Ten minutes had gone by since the start of class, and Sirius had still yet to show up. This tardiness wasn’t entirely out of the ordinary for him, and the three boys didn’t pay much mind to his absence. However, when half of the class period had gone by with neither hide nor tail of the boy, the three Gryffindors were officially worried. He was known to skip class, sure. But he _always_ tried to convince the lot of them to bunk off together, and none of them had even seen him since lunch.

 _Do you think he’s dead?_ Peter scribbled out on a scrap of parchment that he slid over to Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes after reading the note. _He’s not dead, Peter. He’s probably —_

Remus paused as he thought of the possible reasons as to why Sirius would skip their afternoon class. He obviously wasn’t in the kitchens; they’d just had lunch. He could be out for a walk, but Sirius wasn’t one to stroll. Besides, it was much too cold for that. Could he possibly be napping? The boy had a ridiculous amount of energy, and Remus had never seen him nap before. But where else could he be?

After chewing on the tip of his quill, a habit which he routinely yelled at James and Sirius for doing, he finished his note. _He’s probably just chasing after Sarah._

Peter read over the note and gave Remus an unsure frown. Remus nudged him, trying his best to be reassuring while not attracting too much of Professor McGonagall’s attention.

The moment class let out nearly an hour later, the three boys were the first ones out the door.

“Should we check the hospital wing?” James asked, looking like a lost puppy without his usual sidekick strapped to his hip.

“Honestly, you’re as bad as Peter,” Remus said. “Sirius is fine. He’s probably just tormenting Snape or stalking Sarah or wreaking general havoc somewhere else.”

“Maybe,” James said dubiously as the three of them entered the Gryffindor common room. “But it’s not like him to bunk off class without telling any of us.”

“I’m sure he’s just — ah, there, you see? He’s right there,” Remus said triumphantly, pointing to the boy sitting in front of the fireplace.

His smile fell, however, when he saw the state Sirius was in. His eyes were glued to the fire, never once blinking, and a dark look clouded his face. Remus glanced around and noticed that everyone else in the common room was staying well away from that corner of the room.

“Hey, Sirius,” Remus said cautiously as he and the other boys approached him. “Everything all right? You weren’t in class.”

“Didn’t feel like going,” Sirius said in a low voice, never taking his eyes from the fireplace.

“Why not?” Peter asked as he plopped himself down on the couch. “Are you feeling ill?”

“No, I’m not feeling ill,” Sirius snapped, finally tearing his eyes away from the fireplace to send Peter a glare. A moment later, he gazed down at his hands and said in a quiet voice, “I got in a fight with Hughes.”

“What happened?” Remus asked. He and Sirius had since made up after he had asked him to call off the bet, but Remus still hasn’t been happy that Sirius had insisted on going through with his stupid Bonus Step Six. But, not wanting to set off Sirius’ anger again, he’d kept his mouth shut and just hoped that it wouldn’t work.

And, apparently, it didn’t. He knew that this turn of events meant that he would likely call off the bet — finally — but that didn’t mean that he wanted Sirius and Sarah to actually fight with each other.

“Oh, it was bad,” Sirius grumbled, sending Remus a dark look. “Basically, she called me a dirty prick and said she’ll never ever go out with me.”

“Yeesh,” James mumbled, cringing. “That’s rough, mate.”

“And I wasn’t much better,” Sirius vented, looking away in shame but clearly wanting to get it off his chest. “I was a complete arse to her. Told her she should get over herself and that I wouldn’t want to go out with a girl like her, anyway. Or something. I don’t really remember everything I said; I was really angry. Merlin, she just pisses me off so much. I mean, I say one mean thing bloody _ages_ ago, and she just can’t let it go. Won’t even give me sodding chance, the daft girl.” 

“I assume that means you’ll call off the bet?” Remus asked, trying to mask his hopefulness.

Sirius snapped his head to look at Remus as if he was mad. “Of course, I’m not calling off the bet. After all the progress I’ve made? No way.”

“I’m sorry, but how is having a row progress?” James asked with a laugh. “Merlin, even _Evans_ hasn’t ever had a proper shout at me.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and began speaking slowly as if he was explaining something obvious to a small child. “Shouting means she hates me. Hating me means she at least feels something for me. And if she feels something for me, even hate, I can turn that into love.”

“ _Love?_ ” Peter squeaked. “I thought you just wanted to get her to go out with you.”

Sirius chuckled darkly. “Oh, no, Wormtail. That’s not enough anymore. I’m going to get her to fall head over heels in love with me.”

“Sirius,” Remus warned in a low voice. “You said you wouldn’t hurt her.”

“Yeah,” James said hesitantly. “That sounds a bit dodgy. This bet was supposed to be about seeing who had the best way to ask out a girl. You can’t just start messing with her feelings to prove a point.”

“Don’t you get it?” Sirius hissed. “This is about so much more than just a bet. Frankly, I don’t care who wins, at this point. No, this is about the _principle._ She has turned me down at every turn. She’s made it abundantly clear that she wants nothing to do with me.”

“So, leave it at that,” Remus said irritatedly. “Just because she’s wounded your pride doesn’t mean that you get to toy with her emotions.”

“She hasn’t _wounded my pride,_ ” Sirius sneered. “She’s given me a _challenge._ She’s thrown down the gauntlet, and I’ll be damned if I don’t accept.”

“Telling you she doesn’t like you isn’t throwing down the gauntlet,” James said, rolling his eyes at his friend’s unmitigated dramatics.

“Oh, it most certainly is,” Sirius stood, sending the three boys an imposing glare. “And, if there’s one thing I’m not afraid of, it’s a challenge.”

“So, what are you going to do, then?” Remus asked with an unimpressed scowl. “Your harebrained plan hasn’t worked; wooing her hasn’t worked; your _relentless pursuit_ hasn’t worked. What’s next, hm? You going to use a love potion? Take polyjuice potion and make her think you’re someone she can actually tolerate? Use the Imperius curse and _force_ her to like you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sirius waved his hand. “I’m not a psychopath.”

“So, what _are_ you going to do?” Peter asked with wide eyes.

“Easy. I’m simply going to befriend her, get close to her, and be a constant presence in her life until she falls in love with me.”

Remus slowly blinked over at James and Peter. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a psychopath in the slightest.”

***

As Sarah made her way down to the dungeons with Gretchen and Anna chattering away beside her, she felt nothing but dread. She’d spent a sleepless night replaying the screaming match from the day before over and over in her mind, and she wanted nothing more than to be far away from Sirius Black. Yet, here she was, about to spend an entire hour sitting in a room with him.

“We’re doing the Malevolent Mixture this week, right?” Anna asked.

“No, that’s next month. We’re doing Shrinking Solution this week,” Gretchen said.

“What? No, that’s not until the end of the year,” Anna said.

“No, it’s this week.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is!”

“Does it matter?” Sarah snapped. She was in a foul enough mood without their incessant prattle.

“Of course, it matters,” Anna insisted. “I looked over the Malevolent Mixture last night. Because that’s what we’re making this week.”

“Well, _I_ went over the Shrinking Solution,” Gretchen said through gritted teeth. “Because _that’s_ what we’re making this week.”

“It is _not_.”

“It _is._ ”

Sarah sighed and walked away from them, leaning against the wall and trying to tune them out. Quite frankly, she didn’t give a rat’s arse what they were making today. All she cared about was getting through the lesson without another Sirius Black incident. She’d racked up way too many of those in the past month, and she just wanted to go one day without adding more to that constantly growing list.

After their squabble, she’d desperately wanted to feel angry and indignant at his words. After all, he was being completely unfair. He’d ruined her time at the Winter Ball, he’d lied to her about what kind of person he was, and he’d all but stalked her for nearly a month. She had every right to be furious with him.

But as the night went on, she’d come to the slow and grudging realisation that he was absolutely right. She hadn’t really given him a chance. Sure, she tried to be his friend for a little while. But, even then, she continued to hold on to the hurtful words that he’d said in third year. And, when it all turned out to be a misunderstanding, hanging on to the idea that he was nothing more than an arrogant jerk was just easier than admitting that her entire mental image of him was wrong.

As she stood in the corridor, far from the other students, she mulled over the idea of apologising to him. She really did feel awful for jumping to conclusions and not giving him a chance. But she knew that apologising would only encourage him, and the asking out would start up again. Despite everything, she was adamant that she didn’t want to date him. After all, what kind of relationship starts with a row in the corridor?

No, the best course of action was to simply ignore him. Just go back to a Sirius-Black-Free Lifestyle. She’d spent four years without him in her life; she could easily go back to that.

Of course, that was easier said than done. She still had to see him in meals, and she still had to see him in classes, and she still had to see him in the hallways, and — oh, this was going to be a nightmare.

At that moment, she spotted a group of four boys coming down the corridor. She felt her heart pounding, and she ducked her head, trying to hide behind her hair. Nervously, she pushed up her glasses, fiddled with the strap on her bag, tucked her hair behind her ear, untucked it a moment later — anything to keep her busy enough not to have to speak to —

“Hey, Sarah,” Remus said as he passed by. She looked up and kept her eyes firmly fixed on Remus, completely ignoring the shaggy-haired, grey-eyed boy behind him.

“Hey,” she said quietly. _Just keep your eyes on Remus,_ she thought to herself.

“How are you?” He asked.

“I’m good. Tired. You?” _Just keep your eyes on Remus._

“About the same,” he chuckled. Sarah smiled politely. _Just keep your eyes on —_

Almost subconsciously, her gaze slid over to Sirius, and her heart beat even faster when her eyes met his. She had expected him to glare, or maybe just go back to the flirtatious winks. But looking into his eyes now, she saw…nothing.

His face was completely blank. No anger, no haughty confidence, no amusement — nothing. A moment later, his eyes slid away, and she looked back down. Maybe he had the same idea as her and would try to ignore her.

She tried to disregard the pang of chagrin at the thought and turned back to the Remus.

“So,” she began, trying to act as normal as possible. “You ready for class?”

“Yep,” he grinned proudly. “Looked over the instructions for the Malevolent Mixture this morning. I’ve even got some quick reference notes.”

Sarah laughed and nudged him in the arm. “Always so prepared. You might want to share your notes with Gretchen. She seems to think we’re making the Shrinking Solution.”

Remus frowned. “What? No, that’s not until the end of the year,” he muttered, moving away from Sarah and picking out Gretchen in the crowd to give her the bad news.

Standing there, she noticed that James and Peter had left, as well, leaving her alone with Sirius. She awkwardly shuffled her feet, looking anywhere but at him. She silently thanked the Gods when Slughorn turned up a second later to unlock the door, saving her from even a minute more of the thick tension that hung in the air. 

“Better go in,” she mumbled, half to Sirius, half to no one.

“Erm,” Sirius said, reaching out for Sarah. He dropped his arm a second later, thinking better of touching her. “Could you wait up?” He asked nervously.

She hesitated, eyeing him warily, before casting a glance at the large group of students already filing into the room. She really didn’t want to be late, but she also didn’t want to be rude.

“It’ll just take a minute,” Sirius insisted as if reading her thoughts.

She sighed. Sirius looked so earnest standing there; how could she possibly say no? Sending another glance toward the door, she locked eyes with Gretchen, who gave her a confused frown. Sarah jerked her head toward the door, silently telling her friend to go on before turning back to Sirius.

“What’s up?” She asked, trying to sound casual. Well, as casual as she could be after having screamed at the boy in front of her just a day before.

“I wanted to apologise,” he said.

“Sirius,” Sarah started, shaking her head slightly.

“No, please. Just listen,” he insisted. “I was a jerk. And I’m sorry for my behaviour. It’s not okay how I acted. Not the stalking, not the continuous asking out, and definitely not what I said to you yesterday. I guess I was just frustrated. I got it into my head that if I just asked you out in the right way, you’d say yes. Guess I’ve been hanging around James too long,” he said with a humourless chuckle. “But that doesn’t make it okay. No means no, and it doesn’t matter how I ask you. If you don’t want to go out with me, then you don’t want to go out with me. And I accept your decision.”

Sarah blinked, completely taken aback. That was not at all the apology she’d been expecting. She expected something insincere and half-hearted, and she half expected no apology at all. But _this…_ It seriously made her second-guess her plan to just ignore him.

“Erm,” she started, finally finding her words. “Thank you. I appreciate that. And…well, I’m sorry, too. What you said hurt my feelings a bit, but you were right. I didn’t really give you a chance, and I was stuck on what you said at the Ball, and that’s not fair. It was a long time ago, and I didn’t even have the whole story. And I’m sorry.”

Sirius beamed at her, that haughty glint returning to his eye as the previous nervousness had all but vanished. “Thank you, Hughes. What do you say we start over, huh? Try to be friends. No asking out, no flirting. Just two friends having a grand old time.”

Sarah hesitated. She was glad they were apologising and acting like grown-ups for a change, but she wasn’t quite sure what being friends with him would entail. He might not be as big of a jerk as she originally thought, but he was notorious for his mischief. And being friends with him would surely mean getting caught up in all of that.

At her silence, Sirius wiggled his shoulders slightly. “Should I take your intense frown as a yes, then?”

In spite of herself, Sarah laughed. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

Sirius grinned. “I’ve been told.”

With a grudging smile, Sarah said, “Okay. I guess we can give being friends a go.”

“Excellent,” Sirius said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “You won’t regret this. Now, let’s get to class. All your yammering has made us late!”

“Ah, Mr Black, Miss Hughes. There you are!” Professor Slughorn said as they walked into the classroom nearly ten minutes after class had already begun. “You’re late.”

“Sorry, sir,” Sirius said as Sarah squirmed out from under his arm, blushing from the burn forty eyes on them. “Sarah here just wouldn’t stop talking.”

Sarah glared at Sirius but felt her lips quirk up into a smile as he grinned back at her.

“No matter,” Slughorn said, waving them off. “Take your seats and we’ll continue. As I was saying…”

Sarah looked around the room. There were only two seats available, both at the same desk in the back of the class. _Of course,_ she thought ruefully as she sat down with Sirius sliding into the seat beside her. In the desk in front of them sat James and Remus, both of whom turned to their late classmates.

“I don’t want to hear any bickering, you two,” James said with a cheeky wink.

“Do keep up, Prongs,” Sirius grinned. “Sarah and I are best mates now. Isn’t that right, Hughes?”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “I never agreed to that,” she mumbled, trying to focus on what Slughorn was saying.

“But, I thought _I_ was your best mate,” James said, absolutely crestfallen. “What about those bracelets we made over the summer? And what about all those late-night conversations? Are you just going to throw all of that away?”

Sirius gave James a mock-apologetic smile, leaning back in his chair and stretching an arm across the back of Sarah’s chair. “Sorry, Potter. It’s not you; it’s me.”

At James’ incensed cry of outrage, Slughorn cleared his throat. “If I could have _everyone’s_ attention, please.” He sent a pointed look toward the back of the classroom before continuing his lesson.

“Now, as we’ve discussed, the Malevolent Mixture is a nasty little potion that will disintegrate anything it touches, including human skin, stone, and even the cauldron in which it’s brewed. Because of this, not only should incredible care be taken when brewing the potion, but the cauldron _must_ be coated in Impervious Potion before beginning the Malevolent Mixture. For that reason, we will be brewing the Impervious Potion today in preparation for the Malevolent Mixture later this week. You will be working with the person next to you for the remainder of this week, so I hope you’ve chosen wisely.”

“Oh, sweet fate,” Sirius grinned, and Sarah groaned inwardly. She was fine being friends with Sirius in theory, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for a two-class commitment.

“Instructions for the Impervious Potion can be found on page 24 in your books, and ingredients are in the supply cupboard. Your potion should take roughly an hour, and you may leave once your potion is complete,” Slughorn said with a smile as his students began tittering about the room, collecting ingredients and discussing whose cauldron they would use.

“If you want to go get the ingredients, I’ll start setting everything up,” Sarah said, wasting no time in getting everything moving.

“Sir, yes, sir,” Sirius said with a salute before sauntering off to the storeroom.

Once the ingredients were set out on the table, the tools were laid out, and the cauldron was placed over a flame, Sarah turned to Sirius.

“Listen,” she began. “I know you want to be friends, and that’s fine. But if we’re going to be partners, there’s something you need to understand. I have never received anything less than an E, and I don’t intend to start now. I know you like to blow things up and experiment with ingredients and all that Gryffindor, free-spirit shit, but I’d appreciate it if you could at least _try_ to take this seriously for once.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. I won’t do anything to ruin it on purpose. Besides, it’s usually James who does the blowing up. I just go along for the ride.”

“Oi,” James said. “Don’t blame me. You’ve been responsible for at least half of those explosions.”

“He’s right,” Remus chimed in, turning just slightly to glance back at him. “Remember last month when you wanted to ‘see what would happen’ if you added puffer-fish to your Sleeping Draught?”

“Well, how was I supposed to know it was dangerous? I was only experimenting in the name of science,” Sirius said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Sirius, we already knew what would happen. It said in the book that it would create a poisonous gas,” Remus rolled his eyes and returned to his potion.

“Regardless,” Sirius said, turning back to Sarah, who had already begun cutting up the bitter root and was only half-listening to their conversation. “I promise to follow the rules and not explode anything today.”

“I’ll hold you to that promise,” Sarah said, glancing at him from the side before returning to her cutting. If the bitter root wasn’t cut into perfectly even cubes of two centimetres, the entire potion would be off, and she wasn’t about to get a T for sloppy cutting.

When she was satisfied, she turned to Sirius, who was staring intently at her. “What?” She asked, slightly alarmed by his gaze.

“Nothing,” Sirius smiled. “You’re just very beautiful when you’re concentrating.”

“Black,” Sarah warned. “You promised no flirting.”

“Right, right,” Sirius said, shaking his head quickly. “Sorry. Force of habit. I’ll stop.”

“Good,” Sarah said, giving him a firm look before handing him a mortar and pestle. “Now, make yourself useful and grind up the doxy eggs.”

After putting eight eggs into the mortar, Sirius began pounding away at the eggs, slowly crushing them all into goo. When the eggs were a chunky black paste, he slid the mortar over to Sarah and smiled proudly at his work, expecting an inordinate amount of praise.

After glancing at the paste, she pushed it back to him. “Keep going,” she said simply before returning to her root.

Sirius’ shoulders dropped in disappointment. “Why? The book says it should be a thick paste.”

“The book is wrong,” Sarah said, never taking her eyes from her cutting board. “I was reading The Practical Potioneer the other day, and they had a study on the effects of doxy eggs in various potions. They found that chunkier eggs are good for poisons and other potions that are meant to ‘attack,’ so to speak, but runnier eggs are good for more defensive potions. Something about the potency. Since we’re doing an Impervious Potion, we want a runnier liquid instead of a chunky paste.”

“I’ve never met anyone who actually reads The Practical Potioneer,” Sirius said thoughtfully as he took the mortar and began pounding away all of the chunks. “You must be really into potions.”

Sarah shrugged. “Yeah, it’s an interesting subject.”

“Do you think you’ll want to go into potion making after Hogwarts, then?”

She left out a short laugh. “No way. I’d hate to be holed up in the dungeons for the rest of my life. I’d feel like Gollum.”

He paused. “A what?”

Sarah smirked. “Gollum. He’s this little guy from _Lord of the Rings_. It’s a muggle book. It’s very good. I think you’d like it.”

“You and your books,” Sirius mumbled as he put down the pestle, finally satisfied with the consistency of the eggs. “Did you ever finish that one book, by the way? The murder book?”

She laughed once again. “You mean _Slaughterhouse-Five_? I did, yeah. It was honestly one of the best books I’ve ever read. It was so sincere and honest and just really amazing.”

“Well, you’ll have to let me borrow it if it’s that good, then,” Sirius said, leaning back in his chair as he waited for her to give him instructions. They were actually having a pleasant conversation, and he wasn’t about to screw that up by destroying the potion with his experiments.

“And what about you?” Sarah asked, dumping the bitter root into the cauldron. “Have you finished _Pride and Prejudice_?”

Sirius blanched. Shit. He hadn’t even started it. “Erm…well, I haven’t really had much time to read lately.”

“Of course, you haven’t. You’ve been too busy stalking me all over the castle,” she said, sending him a teasing smirk.

He chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah. Again, sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Sarah laughed. A moment later, she gave him a stern look. “But don’t do it again, or I will punch you in the face.”

“Noted,” Sirius laughed. After a moment, they lulled into silence as Sarah poured the egg liquid into the cauldron.

“So,” he said, breaking the silence. “If you don’t want to go into potions, what do you want to do?”

She was silent for a moment, concentrating on stirring the potion. “I’d really like to be a curse-breaker,” she said quietly, as though telling him a secret.

“Really?” He asked, leaning forward with interest. “That’s not at all what I expected you’d be interested in.”

“Why not?” She asked, slightly offended. “You don’t think I could do it?”

“Oh, I have no doubt you could,” he said. “It just seems like a dangerous job.”

“So, what? Because I’m not a great, heroic Gryffindor, I can’t have a dangerous job?” She asked, giving him a challenging raise of her brow. “Can you pour in the honeywater, please? Three drops.”

Sirius leaned forward to open the jar. “I never said you can’t have a dangerous job. But you’re not exactly a risk-taker. I figured you’d go for something more…studious.”

“Cure-breaking _is_ studious,” Sarah said, picking through the jar of lacewings to find the perfect specimens.

“How so?” Sirius asked, squirting three drops of honeywater into the caldron.

“Well,” Sarah began as she stared into the cauldron, waiting for the water to turn purple before she added the lacewings. “You have to take your time and pay attention to what you’re doing. Most cursed objects have multiple really nasty spells. Each one can react to the other, getting more dangerous as more spells are added.”

“And how is that studious instead of dangerous?” Sirius asked, leaning his chair back on two legs as he regarded her.

“Well…imagine a ball of yarn. The string is all tangled and mixed, and you have to go really slowly to pull apart each one. Now, imagine that, if any of those strings touch, they’ll explode and blow you up with it. That’s how cursed objects are. You have to know exactly how to tell which spell is which, how it’ll react with the other spells, how to get rid of it, and what’ll happen if it goes off. The problem is that you don’t see the spell being cast, and you don’t know who’s casting it, so it could be literally anything. That’s where the studiousness comes in. You have to study the spell and get to know it in order to figure out how to get rid of it. It takes a lot of patience and concentration and time.”

Sirius stared at her in silence as she spoke, intrigued by the passion with which she spoke. “How did you get so interested in curse breaking?”

“Dunno. Just always been interested in it,” Sarah said as she poured more water into the cauldron and sat back to wait for it to boil. “I’ve always been interested in magical properties and the theories behind spells and all of that. More so than actual spell casting. And that’s kind of the whole point of curse-breaking, to understand the theories behind the spell so that you can identify it.”

“I’ve always found the theories quite dull if we’re being honest,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“Of course, you have,” Sarah laughed. “You’re more interested in running into battle wand-first.”

“Well, sure,” Sirius smiled. “First on the scene, first to save the day.”

“And don’t tell me. You want to be an Auror.”

He scoffed. “Merlin, no. Aurors have to wear those terribly stuffy robes and follow the rules and fill out _paperwork_ , for fuck’s sake.”

“Well, what _do_ you want to do, then?” She asked, peeking into the cauldron to check the colour.

He suddenly looked off into the distance with a wicked smile, as if seeing his greatest dream come true right before his eyes. “I want to be a private investigator.”

“What?” Sarah asked, letting out a great laugh. “Are you serious?”

“‘Course I am,” he said with a shit-eating grin.

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Don’t you know any other jokes?”

“Why would I bother learning any other jokes when I’m already blessed with the best joke in the world?” Sirius chuckled. “Really, though, being a private investigator would be great. No boss, no rules, no paperwork. Just fighting crime and kicking arse.”

“And that’s your dream, eh?” Sarah asked, waving her wand to extinguish the fire when the potion turned a deep green.

“Of course,” Sirius said. “I don’t want to work for some jerk who’s just going to make me rescue a cat from a tree. I’d much rather work for myself and hunt down mass murderers, or save a group of orphans from a fire, or single-handedly save the Minister of Magic from the Devil himself.”

Sarah stared at him for a moment, shaking her head in amusement. “Well, if you’re going to dream, dream big, I guess,” she laughed, giving the potion one last stir. “I think we’re about done. Want to test it out before we hand this in?”

“Sure,” Sirius said, grabbing some parchment and handing it to Sarah. She dipped a bit of it into the green liquid and pulled it out, letting the excess potion drip back into the cauldron. After giving the potion-covered paper a moment to dry, she placed the parchment onto the table, and Sirius cast an incineration spell. The two of them smiled as the spell ricocheted off of the paper and fizzled out in a few sparks.

“Nice job, Hughes,” Sirius said, giving Sarah a proud smile. “I dare say you’ll be getting that O.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Now that Sirius' original plan is over, from here on out, the story is going to focus a bit more on Marauder adventures, so there will be plenty of Jily and mischief and all that fun stuff. 
> 
> I also just wanted to thank you guys for the reviews. I appreciate them so, so, so much, and they're really motivating me to continue!


	10. The Brotherhood of the Red Shadow

 

Two weeks had passed since Sarah and Sirius had started their tentative friendship, and it was… surprisingly nice.

During classes, the two of them would sit at adjacent desks, swapping snarky comments and joking around with one another. When they passed each other in the corridors, they would exchange friendly smiles and winks before going on their way. Free periods were spent in each other’s company, helping one another with homework or simply talking about life.

Sirius even joined Sarah and Remus’ study sessions. Of course, he never lasted longer than ten minutes before he lost all concentration, at which point Sarah, Remus, or both of them would kick him out of the library before they strangled the boy who just wouldn’t shut up. 

Sarah had expected all of this time spent together to result in more detentions and fewer house points; with Sirius’ reputation as a troublemaker, it was all but inevitable. But, while their jabbering in class often resulted in stern looks from their professors, he always seemed to make sure that she never got into any real trouble, even going so far as to get her far away from him whenever he decided to cause mischief.

Every time she caught him running through the hallways with his cohorts, he would calmly suggest that she get to the other side of the castle. These conversations were usually followed by a distant boom or angry shouting from professors, and she’d waste no time in getting the hell out of there.

Although, there was one time when she was once nearly caught up in the middle of one of his shenanigans.

She’d been running late that morning and was rushing through the empty hallways to get to Transfiguration, her mind reeling from the idea of getting a hard-nosed talking-to from Professor McGonagall. She stopped in her tracks, however, when she caught sight of the flock of chickens clucking their way down the hallway, being ushered from one corridor to the next by none other than Sirius Black. A moment later, James and Remus came around the corner, trying to hush the birds that were making just a bit too much noise to be inconspicuous. Peter brought up the rear, tossing out birdseed and trying to convince the stragglers to stay in formation.

“Sirius,” Remus hissed. “I said you could get 50 chickens, not 500. This is too much, it’s not going to work!”

“Relax, Moony,” Sirius said confidently. “It’ll be fine. No one’s even going to know it was u—”

He instantly froze when he noticed Sarah standing there, her mouth hanging open in shock, and an oblivious Remus ploughed into his back.

“What’s wrong?” He asked before following Sirius’ eyes and spotting Sarah.

“What the fuck are you doing?” She asked when she finally found her voice.

Sirius slowly walked over to Sarah, moving his outstretched palms in steady circles. “You were never here,” he said slowly in a low, breathy voice. “You didn’t see anything.”

She paused for a moment with a bewildered frown. “Are you trying to hypnotise me?”

Sirius dropped his arms. “Why, is it working?”

Sarah couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. She never did find out what they were doing, but the Great Hall was closed that afternoon, and she had a sneaking suspicion that it was for poultry-related reasons.

A side effect of their newly-formed friendship was the disbanding of the Support Group that she and Lily had started. However, while they were no longer able to bitch about the bombardment of their dually-crazed suitors, they remained very much friends. Nearly every evening, the two girls would spend their time in the library or their secret alcove, studying away, complaining about life, or just gossiping about the other students. They were often joined by Anna, Gretchen, Dorcas, and Mary, but the other girls were never quite able to match the zest for knowledge that Lily and Sarah seemed to have.

During one of their study sessions, specifically the night before a rather important Herbology test, Sarah and Lily found themselves hiding in the back of the library under a mountain of books. The two girls were determined to pass with flying colours and had been studying for nearly three hours without a break. Unfortunately for them, the library was closing in ten minutes, and they’d only covered half of what they needed to know.

After the librarian, Madam Hinkley, had warned them that it was time to leave, the two girls stretched and groaned, their backs popping from being hunched over the books for so long.

“You ready for the test?” Sarah asked, gathering her things.

“No,” Lily said with a grimace. “You?”

“Not in the slightest,” Sarah confessed. “I’m going to be up all night studying.”

“Me too,” Lily groaned. “Hey, why don’t you come study with me?”

Sarah frowned in confusion. “Where? Library’s closing and curfew is in thirty minutes.”

“Just come back to the Gryffindor common room with me,” Lily shrugged, gathering up her own books.

“I think you’re forgetting about the fact that I’m not a Gryffindor,” Sarah smirked. “I can’t just come to your common room.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Of course, you can. People from other houses come all the time.”

After checking out their books and making their way out into the corridor, Lily grabbed Sarah’s arm. “Just come. It’s not like you’re trying to sneak in or anything. You have my permission, and you’ll be with me the whole time. We can study all night, and if we get tired, you can just sleep in my room.”

Sarah thought for a moment. It certainly was an exciting idea, spending the night in another house. And she hadn’t had a proper sleepover since before she came to Hogwarts. It would be nice to have one again, now that she was old enough to properly appreciate the experience.

With a smile and a nod, Sarah agreed, much to Lily’s joy. After stopping by the Hufflepuff common room for Sarah’s things, the two of them finally set off for the Gryffindor tower, ready to continue their study-date-sleepover.

Stepping through the portrait was an utter novelty for Sarah. She’d seen others go through, of course, but she was so used to hunching through a nearly-too-short barrel that it was almost a relief to be able to just waltz through a fully-formed doorway.

If she was excited by the entryway, she was absolutely gobsmacked by the common room itself. Whereas the Hufflepuff common room was bright and welcoming, the Gryffindor common room was warm and cosy. Deep red wall hangings lined the stone walls, and the roaring fireplace sent waves of warmth throughout the room as students lounged in well-used chairs and couches. Various robes, scarves, and sweaters were strewn about the room, draped over couches and forgotten about, lending to the feeling that this room was like a second bedroom for nearly all of its occupants.

Lily watched Sarah stare around the room and a slight blush crept up her cheeks. “It’s a bit messy,” she chuckled, realising how the room must look to someone who’d never seen it before. She’d lived there for five years now; she was all but oblivious to the perpetual untidiness of the room.

“I love it!” Sarah exclaimed, giving Lily an excited grin. She certainly appreciated the cheeriness of Hufflepuff’s common room, but this was just so unabashed in its homeyness. It was a nice change of pace.

“Glad you like it,” Lily chuckled with a sigh of relief. “Come on, let’s go set up at the table before someone else claims it.”

The two of them made their way to the large table in the corner of the room, waving to the other occupants and fielding questions as to why Sarah was there. A few minutes after they’d set up camp for the night, Mary and Dorcas joined them, and the four girls set about studying.

For a couple of hours, the girls trudged through their notes, quizzing each other on the various uses for the different plants, how to care for and grow each of them, and how to properly extract the magical properties. As the night went on, slowly the common room thinned out as the students went to bed. By midnight, even Dorcas and Mary had hit the hay, leaving Sarah and Lily alone in the common room.

At 1:00 a.m., Sarah leaned back, removing her glasses and rubbing her tired eyes. They’d covered quite a bit, but they were still stuck with a quarter of the work left. She was nearly ready to call it a night when the portrait door suddenly swung open. Four boys noisily lumbered through the opening, leaning on one another and giggling themselves silly.

“Oh, man, did you see Filch’s face?” James wheezed.

“Yeah, I thought he was going to have a heart attack,” Sirius said.

“That’s understandable,” Remus chuckled. “It’s not every day you see a full-blown stag in the — Sarah? What are you doing here?” He stilled when he spotted the two girls in the corner.

“Sarah’s here?” Sirius asked following Remus’ eyes. His face lit up in a wide smile at the sight of her sitting at the table in the corner of the room. “And just when I thought this night couldn’t get any better, the Lord above has delivered an angel right into our common room.”

Sarah rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. Lily, on the other hand, found nothing amusing about the comment. “Do you know what time it is?” She asked, sounding uncannily like her head of house. “Curfew was nearly three hours ago. And what’s this about a stag? Merlin, why do you always insist on putting animals where they don’t belong?”

“Relax, Evans,” Sirius said, sauntering over to the table and pulling up a chair next to Sarah. “Let’s not argue when we have company. We wouldn’t want to give our guest a bad impression of our little family.” He sent Lily a smirk before turning to Sarah. “So, Hughes, what do you think of our common room?” He flourished his hand, gesturing to the messy room.

She adopted a bored frown as she glanced around the room. “It’s all right,” she said simply, giving Sirius an apathetic shrug, knowing how much her disinterest would irk him.

“ _All right_?” Sirius cried scornfully, pulling his chin back in offence and narrowing his eyes at Sarah. “I’ll have you know, Hughes, that this is the single greatest common room in the entire world.”

“Is that so?” Sarah said. “And how would you know that?”

“Because I have seen not one, not three, but _two_ common rooms in my lifetime, and this one is undoubtedly the best.”

Sarah laughed. “While that seems like a sound conclusion, I’m a little worried about your sample size.”

“Hang on,” Lily butted in. “How did _you_ get into another common room?”

“Oh, you know,” Sirius said with an evasive smile. “A friend let us it.”

“Black,” Lily deadpanned. “You have exactly three friends, and they are sitting at this table.” At that, Sirius gave the other three boys at the table a glance. James and Peter beamed at him, happy to be included, while Remus gave him a pinched, almost self-pitying smile.

“Please,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “I’ve got more friends than this lot.” James and Peter made strangled noises of protestation, and Remus snorted doubtfully. “Sarah’s my friend, right Sarah?”

“I’d say more of acquaintance,” Sarah said with a shrug.

Sirius leaned far away, levelling her with an icy glare. “Wow. The sheer level of disrespect. And here I was, ready to make you an honorary Gryffindor.”

Sarah gave him a smug smile. “So, which other common room have you seen, then? No one in Hufflepuff would ever let you in, so it must be Ravenclaw or Slytherin.”

“It better not have been Slytherin,” Lily said with a warning glare.

“Whatever would make you think it was Slytherin?” Sirius asked, feigning innocence, but his failed attempt at concealing his grin gave him away.

“Potter,” Lily said, turning her ire to James. “Tell me it wasn’t Slytherin.”

“Okay,” James shrugged with a cheeky smile. “It wasn’t Slytherin.”

“For fuck’s sake,” she mumbled. “Were you the ones who changed their password to _I’m a disappointment_?”

“Ha!” Sirius let out a loud laugh. “I forgot about that.”

“And charmed the Salazar portrait to _fart_ every time someone came into the room?” Lily asked, her voice an octave higher.

“That was wicked. All this one’s idea,” James said, nudging Peter, who gave a bashful smile in response.

“And covered everything in the room with wrapping paper?” Another octave higher.

“Hey, we were just giving them something to open on Christmas,” Sirius laughed.

“Did you really do all of that?” Sarah asked with an impressed smile.

“I can neither confirm nor deny,” Sirius said with a smug smile.

“But, yeah, we totally did,” James said with a wink.

“Oh, I can’t believe you,” Lily huffed. “Severus told me it took them _four hours_ to unwrap everything.”

“Extra-strength sticking charm,” Sirius said, nodding to Remus and tapping the side on his head. “Thanks for the idea, mate.”

“Remus, you helped them?” Lily asked with shocked indignation.

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Remus said, having the decency to at least try to look sorry. “We were studying sticking charms and we just…needed somewhere to practice.”

“You lot are infuriating,” Lily muttered, flipping angrily through her notes.

“So,” Remus said, giving Lily an anxious glance and turning to Sarah in an attempt to change the subject to something that wouldn’t piss Lily off even more. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Oh, the library closed,” Sarah said. “So, Lily invited me back here so we could keep studying.”

“Such bookworms,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Don’t you girls ever have any fun?”

“Well, how could we possibly have any fun when you boys are taking all of the good ideas?” Sarah smirked.

“Oh? Are you interested in joining in on our fun?” James asked, leaning forward and giving Sarah a mischievous grin.

“No,” Lily said firmly, tugging Sarah closer. “You are not corrupting another one of my friends. You already got your hooks into Marlene last year; you’re not getting Sarah.”

“Oh, it’s just as well,” Sirius sighed. “We’d have to initiate her, then teach her our ways — it’d be a whole thing.”

“Initiate me?” Sarah asked, wriggling away from Lily, who gave a defeated sigh at the sudden interest Sarah was showing. “What, like a secret society?”

“Oh, please,” Lily rolled her eyes. “There’s nothing secret about their dumb gang.” 

“We’re not dumb,” Peter protested half-heartedly.

“What’s a secret society?” Remus asked.

“Oh, they’re brilliant,” Sarah said, her eyes shining eagerly.

“And complete myths,” Lily said with a raised brow.

“They are not,” Sarah insisted with a determined frown. “My dad told me about them.”

“What _are_ they?” James pressed.

“They’re these crazy secret organisations, and no one is even supposed to know they exist,” Sarah began animatedly. “If you even _talk_ about them, they’ll know, and they force you to join them. Or they cut your tongue off so you can’t tell anyone about them.”

“What?” Sirius asked slowly, his voice rising in pitch, and gave James a wicked grin. “What do they do? Like, what’s the point of them?”

“That’s the thing,” Sarah said, leaning forward and speaking quietly. “ _No one knows_. Some people say that they basically rule the entire world, like puppet masters pulling the strings or whatever.” 

“Interesting,” James said, his grin widening. “And how do find one of these secret societies?”

“You don’t,” Sarah said, leaning back in her seat. “They find _you_. If they want to recruit you, they kidnap you and put a blindfold on you and take you to the dungeons in their super-secret mansions. Then, they sacrifice a baby goat or something and make you drink each other’s blood. And they spank you with a wooden paddle with spikes on it.”

“The fuck?” Remus asked, his face twisted into a disturbed grimace. “What’s the point of that?”

“I don’t know,” Sarah shrugged. “Promote brotherhood?”

“All of that is well and good,” Lily said, trying to bring some sense back to the conversation. “But it’s not _real._ People have been talking about secret societies for ages, and it’s all just some big conspiracy theory about how the government wants to control everything.”

“Can you _prove_ they’re not real?” Sarah asked with a challenging glare.

“Well, no, but—”

“Then you can’t _say_ they’re not real,” Sarah finished with a smug smile.

Lily rolled her eyes. “I can’t prove Father Christmas isn’t real, either. Doesn’t mean there’s a fat man trying to break into my house and eat all my food every year.”

While Sarah and Lily bickered on about the legitimacy of secret societies, Father Christmas, and, later, Big Foot, James and Sirius stared at one another. Their eyebrows twitched, their eyes narrowed and widened, and their heads shook minutely as they continued their silent conversation. After a moment, the two boys nodded firmly in silent agreement before standing.

“Well, ladies,” Sirius broke into the conversation with a prim smile. “This has been a most enlightening conversation.”

“It’s always a treat when you teach us about your muggle culture,” James added.

“But — oh, look at the time!” Sirius said, dramatically looking to the clock. “We really must be going to bed.”

“Come along, Remus, Peter,” James said, hoisting Peter up by the arm. “Let’s leave the lovely ladies to their studying.”

As James, Sirius, and Peter quickly made their way up to the dormitories, Remus heaved a great sigh and pushed himself away from the table. “Well, I’d better follow them. Sounds like they’re up to something stupid.”

“When are they not?” Lily asked, rolling her eyes. “Whatever they’re planning, just try not to lose us too many house points, yeah?”

“Can’t make any promises, I’m afraid,” Remus said with an apologetic smile before trailing behind his friends, leaving Sarah and Lily alone once again.

“Do you really not believe in Big Foot?” Sarah asked after a moment. For the rest of the night, the girls argued about one cryptid after another, their textbooks left completely forgotten in front of them.

Somehow, they still managed to scrape through their Herbology test with A’s.

***

Wednesday afternoon, Sarah and Gretchen sat at their table in the North Tower, idly chatting away as they waited for Divination to start. But something was off, Sarah noticed.

At breakfast, Gretchen’s usual spunk seemed dull, her smile forced. She’d flipped through her magazine in an almost bored manner, barely even bothering to respond to Anna’s feminist comments, and her apathy only worsened as the day went on. In Ancient Runes, Gretchen spent the period staring at her hands in a dazed state, and she’d barely touched her food at lunch.

Sitting at their table now, she began picking at her perfectly manicured fingers, a habit that she severely frowned upon, and Sarah decided that something was seriously wrong.

“Hey,” she began carefully. “Is everything okay?”

Gretchen frowned. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know. You just seem a little…sad, is all.”

She could see Gretchen begin to deny it, but, after a moment, she sighed in defeat. “I guess I am, a little. I got a letter from my sister last night. Apparently, mum and dad aren’t doing so well.”

“What, like sick?” Sarah asked, leaning forward with worry.

“No, nothing like that,” Gretchen said, shaking her head. “I mean, like, _them._ I guess Dad’s been sleeping in the guest room for a while. And they barely talk, unless to argue.”

“Wow,” Sarah said quietly, genuinely surprised. She’d known the Gosling’s for quite some time, and they’d never seemed anything less than perfectly happy. She gave Gretchen a small, sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry. Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

Gretchen rolled her eyes. “My parents’ rough patch isn’t really something I’d like to broadcast to the world.”

“Yeah, but I’m not the world,” Sarah said. “I’m your friend. You can tell me anything.”

“Thanks,” Gretchen said quietly. “I know, you’re right. It’s just…I don’t know. It’s just easier to not talk about it, you know? Just pretend it’s not happening and maybe it’ll all go away.”

Sarah chuckled softly. “Oh, if only that were how it worked. Well, you know I’m always here if you ever want to talk about it.”

“I know,” Gretchen smiled. “Thanks. But…don’t tell Anna, yeah?”

“Why not? She’d be willing to listen, too.”

“I know,” Gretchen sighed. “But…you know how she gets. She’ll go off on some rampage about how my mum needs to _reclaim her power_ and kick my dad out before he decides to leave or something.”

“Right,” Sarah nodded, already hearing Anna’s vengeful rant in her head. “I won’t tell her. But you know she’s only trying to help, right? When she goes on those rants, she’s just trying to empower us.”

“I know,” Gretchen said. “But, Merlin, she never lets up. Like, I was looking at dresses the other day for the Winter Ball, and she went off on some tangent about how beauty is a _social construct,_ and we shouldn’t have to wear expensive dresses just to make boys like us.”

“Oh, Merlin,” Sarah chuckled, happy to see Gretchen’s spirit picking up once again.

“I was like, ‘I’m not wearing it for the boys. I’m wearing it because I like it, and it makes my butt look good,’” Gretchen laughed.

“Speak of the devil,” Sarah mumbled, quickly shushing Gretchen as Anna came storming into the room, not one minute before class was set to start, her face pulled into a murderous glare.

“Whoa,” Sarah whistled lowly as Anna planted herself in her chair with enough force to crack the wooden frame. “You’re coming in hot. What’s got you so pissed, then?”

“Fucking Professor Binns, that’s what,” she grumbled, furiously digging around in her bag. “We got our tests back from last week. Look at this shit.”

She slammed a crumpled parchment onto the table. Tilting her head to the side, Sarah could make out the large _T_ at the top of the page, next to which the ghoulish professor had written a comment in large, abrasive letters.

“ _Did your brain fall out_?” Gretchen read aloud before busting out in fits of laughter.

Anna grumbled to herself, sending Gretchen a cold glare. “If he wanted to give me a _T_ , fine. But that—” she pointed to the comment. “—is just hurtful.”

“You poor thing,” Sarah laughed, trying to give Anna a sympathetic smile and failing miserably as her giggles broke through.

“He’s just such a prick,” Anna said, grabbing the paper and shoving it back in her bag,crumpling it into a wrinkled ball. “He stands up there, droning on about the most boring shit ever, and then he shits all over us when we can’t remember one of the 9,000 dates he’s thrown out there.”

“Why don’t you just drop the class?” Gretchen asked, finally regaining her composure. “I did after the first year.”

“I can’t,” Anna groaned. “I’ve already asked Professor Sprout. It’s too late now. I’m stuck with it for the rest of the year.”

“Maybe you could try getting a tutor?” Sarah suggested. “Lily’s really good at History, maybe you could ask her.”

“Maybe,” Anna sighed dejectedly before groaning again.

“It’ll be okay,” Gretchen said with a smirk, patting Anna on the shoulder in what she thought was a comforting manner but came off more as condescending. At that moment, Professor Sprecher stood, holding his arms up.

“Today,” he began in his breathy voice, calling everyone’s attention to the front of the room. “We will be working on palm reading.” At that, a collective groan let out amongst the class. They’d worked on palm reading at the beginning of the year, and it was just about as frustrating as anything else that they’d worked on in the class.

As Professor Sprecher continued on, seemingly oblivious to his class’ displeasure, Sarah quietly pulled her book from her bag. As she did, a small envelope fell from in between the pages and fluttered to the ground. With a curious frown, she picked up the strange paper, wondering where it had come from.

Someone had obviously stuffed it in her bag when she wasn’t looking, but who? She glanced around the room, but no one was paying her any mind. Turning her attention back to the envelope, she turned it over in her hand, searching for any clue as to who it was from, but there was no writing and, therefore, no indication. The back was closed with a red wax seal, and she gently ran a finger over it, marvelling at scrawling _RS_ that had been stamped into the wax.

Pushing away her burning curiosity, she shook her head to snap herself out of her momentary reverie and stuffed the envelope back in her bag. There was no way she was going to open the mysterious envelope in the middle of class, especially not when the Professor in front of her was so prone to finding bad omens in everything that he came across.

For the next hour, Sarah tried to concentrate on the task at hand, namely the hands in front of her. But her mind continued to wander back to the envelope as if there was a beacon in her bag that was just calling her name. As the class continued on, every second seemed to drag by, and she was finding it increasingly difficult to pay attention to the lines on Anna’s hand.

The moment Divination was over, Sarah practically sprinted to the loo, shouting her excuses to Anna and Gretchen and locking herself in the furthest stall. She quickly rifled through her bag until she found the envelope, her heart pounding in anticipation as she slipped her finger under the seal and popped the wax from the parchment.

She pulled out a small, thick card from inside and scanned over the front. A hand with six fingers and a single eye resting in the palm had been drawn at the top of the card. Sarah felt a shiver shoot up her spin as the eye gazed back at her, and her shiver only intensified as she read the script beneath it. _“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness._ ”

_What the fuck_ , she thought. Who the hell had sent her this? And what even was _this_? As she opened the card to scan the page, her question was answered with even more questions.

_Sarah Hughes,_

_You are cordially invited to join_

**_The Brotherhood of the Red Shadow_ **

_Join us for a night of mystery, adventure, and, above all, fraternity_

_Saturday, 15 November, 1975_

_Midnight_

_Seventh-floor Corridor_

_Tell no one_

_We’ll be watching…_

**_\- The Brotherhood -_ **

Sarah read through the apparent invitation three times before finally tearing her eyes away from the parchment. “What the fuck,” she whispered aloud.

What in the world was the Brotherhood of the Red Shadow? She’d never heard of them. Were they some kind of gang? A bizarre, religious cult? A _murderous_ religious cult? How had they gotten their letter into her bag without her noticing? And why her? She’d neither applied nor even heard of this Brotherhood. And, as far as she could guess, she’d never shown any aptitude that warranted such a mysterious invitation, besides her grades. But she seriously doubted that this had anything to do with her academic achievements.

She considered the invitation for a moment before shaking her head and returning the letter to her bag. No way was she going to go to that meeting. The whole thing was just too bizarre and reeked of danger. They’d clearly been watching her; they even said so. And that was just too creepy to overlook. Plus, did they really expect her to go wandering the halls alone at midnight in search of some unknown organisation? No, thank you.

But, as the day went on, her curiosity only burned brighter. The invitation didn’t seem particularly threatening. Surely, it wouldn’t be dangerous. After all, it said that it was supposed to be a night of fraternity. What kind of fraternity would invite someone to join them, just to turn around and murder them?

At dinner, she considered asking Anna and Gretchen about it. The invitation had said not to tell anyone…but she hated keeping such a massive secret from her two best friends. Besides, what if they had received the invitation, as well, and were just as anxious as she was? Wouldn’t it be better if they all discussed it together to figure out what to do?

Then again…what if they hadn’t received the invitation? She imagined that they might be a tad upset that she’d received an invitation when they hadn’t. Would they think she was bragging about it if she asked them?

In the end, she decided not to tell them. She didn’t want to upset them if they hadn’t received an invitation, and she certainly didn’t want to incur the wrath of the Brotherhood if they were to somehow find out that she had told someone about the invitation.

But still, that left the burning question — would she go to the meeting?

***

Saturday — the day of the Brotherhood meeting. And Sarah still had no idea if she was going to attend.

She’d spent the last two days agonising over it, debating whether or not she should tell Anna and Gretchen about it, debating whether or not she should even go to the meeting, debating whether or not she should just rip up the damned invitation and be done with it.

By that afternoon, she had resigned herself to go. She was 90 per cent certain that this Brotherhood wasn’t going to murder her — okay, 70 per cent. But still, that was enough to stop her crazy imaginings of being murdered in the corridor in the dead of night. Besides, if she didn’t go, she would end up regretting it, always wondering what she’d missed out on.

So, it was decided. All she had to do now was wait.

Shortly before dinner, she, Remus, and Lily sat at their usual table in the library. They were nearly finished with their homework, but there were still a few pesky problems that continued to elude them.

“What did you write for the history of the Switching spell?” Remus asked, frowning down at his half-written Transfiguration essay. “I didn’t hear what she said during class.”

“She spent a solid 20 minutes explaining it,” Lily admonished. “How did you not hear for 20 minutes?”

“I mean, keep in mind who he sits with,” Sarah smirked.

“Honestly,” Lily rolled her eyes, sliding Remus her notes. “Those boys are a bad influence on you.”

“I know,” Remus sighed, scanning over Lily’s notes and jotting down a few of the key points. “But they keep life interesting. Speaking of which…I have to get going. I promised to meet them just before dinner.”

“What are you lot up to now?” Sarah asked.

“Sworn to secrecy, I’m afraid,” Remus said with an apologetic smile as he collected his books and parchment.

“Don’t worry,” Lily said to Sarah. “I’m sure we’ll find out what they’re planning soon enough.”

Remus laughed. “Oh, you definitely will. But I promise this one’s not near as bad as some of the other stunts they’ve pulled.”

“You say that as if you haven’t been a part of every one of their stunts,” Lily said with a teasing smile.

“Hey, I haven’t been a part of _every_ one of them,” Remus said with mock resentment. “Just _most_ of them.”

“Like that makes a difference,” Sarah laughed.

“It does,” Remus said seriously. “I wasn’t involved when they filled the Potion’s room with ping-pong balls last year.”

“That was _them_?” Sarah said, her mouth hanging open in shock.

“Sarah, when are you going to learn?” Lily asked with a bored expression. “It’s _always_ them.”

“Not always,” Remus said with a knowing smile. “I seem to recall _you_ pulling off a few good pranks in your day.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lily said, just a bit too innocently.

“Sure you don’t,” Remus smirked. “Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“See you,” the girls said as Remus walked away.

“So,” Sarah said once he’d left. “Tell me about these pranks of yours.” 

“Oh, it’s nothing, really,” Lily shrugged. “I just like to mess with the boys when they’re getting a bit too annoying.”

“Go on, then,” Sarah urged.

Lily’s face was an impassable mask, and it seemed like she wasn’t going to say anything. A moment later, though, she broke, leaning forward and grinning ear to ear.

“Okay, so last year,” she began. “They were being absolutely terrible and wouldn’t stop picking on first years. So I enlarged Potter’s head and shrunk Black’s. I only did it a little bit each day. Not enough to notice right away; just gradually. But a month later, Black was convinced that Potter was stealing some of his head every day.”

“ _Stealing his head_?” Sarah laughed, completely dumbfounded. “He actually thought it was James?”

“Oh, yeah,” Lily giggled. “It was amazing. He was running around the common room with a little baby head, telling Potter to give him his head bits back. And Potter could barely walk because his head was so massive.”

“Did they ever find out it was you?” Sarah asked, trying to contain her laughter.

“Of course, not,” Lily scoffed. “I’m pretty sure they’re still convinced the other one did it.”

“That’s fantastic,” Sarah grinned. “You have to let me in on it next time you mess with them.”

“Oh, I will,” Lily assured her. “We’re always looking for new recruits to mess with the boys. Someone strong-willed and dedicated to the cause of ruining their lives, one day at a time.”

“Well, I’m your girl,” Sarah smirked.

As their giggling slowly subsided, Lily sighed, giving her notes a once over. “We should probably head down to dinner.”

“Ah, shit, yeah,” Sarah said. She hadn’t even realised how late it had gotten. One look at the clock, however, and she instantly remembered that, in just a few hours, she would be expected to show up in the seventh-floor corridor. The idea sent nervous butterflies flitting through her stomach.

“So,” Lily said, breaking Sarah out of her thoughts. “You know how we were going to meet up after dinner?”

“Oh, yeah,” Sarah said guiltily. She’d completely forgotten about their plans and felt a bit bad about having to cancel last minute. “About that…”

“I have to cancel,” Lily said with an apologetic smile.

“Really?” Sarah frowned. That was odd. What were the chances that they both had to cancel last minute? “Me, too.”

“Really?” Lily asked, giving Sarah a curious look. “What for?”

Sarah narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “I’m…meeting up with friends. What are you doing?”

Lily narrowed her eyes in return. “I’m…meeting up with friends, as well.”

The two girls glared sceptically at one another for a moment before Sarah reached into her bag. She had a sneaking suspicion who Lily would be meeting that night, but she had to be sure. She slowly pulled out her invitation, raising it just enough for the red wax to be visible, and Lily’s eyes went wide with recognition.

“You got one, too?” She gasped.

“Yes!” Sarah hissed, leaning forward. “I thought I was the only one!”

“Oh, no,” Lily shook her head. “I got one, Mary got one, Dorcas got one — we all did.”

“You _told_ people?” Sarah asked with astonishment.

“Of course, I did,” Lily frowned. “Didn’t you?”

“It said not to,” Sarah said quietly, glancing around them and lowering her voice to a whisper. “It said they’d be watching.”

“Oh, please,” Lily rolled her eyes. “They might be some super-secret organisation, but they’re not omnipotent. They don’t see us when we’re sleeping, know when we’re awake. You’re saying you haven’t told Anna or Gretchen?

“No,” Sarah replied sheepishly.

“Do you think they were invited?”

“I don’t know,” Sarah said. “They haven’t mentioned anything. But, like I said, the letter said not to, so they probably wouldn’t have told me even if they were. So, you’re going, then?”

“Yep. Partly out of curiosity, and partly just to show this Brotherhood that I’m not afraid of them. You’ll be there, right?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure. I was a little worried that it was actually some sort of ploy to get me to show up just so they could murder me or something. But, since you’re going, there’s really nothing to worry about. Power in numbers, right?”

“Good on you,” Lily said with a grin. “In any case, you’ll know at least three other people there. And if they try anything, they can’t take all of us down.”

As the two girls began gathering their books, Sarah asked, “So, what do you reckon this Brotherhood is?”

Lily shrugged. “Probably just some secret club. Maybe an academic thing.”

“I don’t know,” Sarah mused. “It seems too secret to be just a club.”

“Well, what else would it be?”

Now, it was Sarah’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know. An occult group? A religious cult?”

Lily let out an unladylike snort. “A religious cult? Really?”

“You don’t know,” Sarah insisted. “There’s been lots of that shit in America. Maybe it’s finally come to England.”

“There’ve been cults in _muggle_ America,” Lily corrected. “The only wizarding cult I’ve ever heard of is right here in the UK, and they would hardly recruit two muggle-borns.” There was a hint of resentment in Lily’s voice as she spoke. There had been whispers of this new wizarding group — the Death Eaters, they called themselves — for quite a while, and it was only recently that they had begun openly attacking muggles. They’d yet to attack muggle-born wizards and witches, but it was only a matter of time, at this point. 

A shiver shot up Sarah’s spine at the thought that this Brotherhood could, in fact, be the Death Eaters trying to lure a few muggle-borns into the dead of the night, only to attack them. But then, Dorcas was a pureblood. Surely, there’s no way they would attack one of their own, right?

“Okay,” Sarah said, trying to diffuse the tension. “So, maybe it’s not some cult. But, what else could it be?”

“Well, whatever it is,” Lily said as they stepped out into the corridor. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

***

The Hufflepuff common room was quiet, the popping of the dying fire the only sound in the room. The other students had long since gone to bed, and Sarah sat alone in the corner of the room, her eyes trained on the clock and her knee bouncing in anticipation.

At dinner, she had told Gretchen and Anna that she was going to be spending the night with Lily once again to finish their Charms essay. They had teased her that she was spending more time in the Gryffindor common room than in her own, and Sarah brushed it off with a laugh. But she couldn’t deny the burning guilt that she felt from lying to them.

She’d then spent the rest of her evening mapping out the quickest and most strategic path to the seventh-floor corridor. She had decided not to take any of the main hallways, as those would likely be crawling with prefects, professors, and, worst of all, Filch. Not that she would really know, however, as she’d never actually snuck out past curfew before.

Although, she did know how cold the hallways could get at night, especially considering it was nearly December. As such, she’d worn her thickest cloak to stay warm, her lightest shoes to avoid making too much noise, and she had her wand securely tucked into the small pocket that she’d sewn to the inside of her sleeve, just in case she ran into any trouble.

By the end of the evening, she had her alibi, her plan, and everything that she would need to get to the meeting in one piece. Now, she only needed to wait.

She’d been sitting there for nearly an hour and felt herself getting jittery with anticipation. She was sure that she’d go mad if she had to wait for a second longer, but, as the clock struck 11:30 — go time — her feet refused to move, and her butt remained firmly planted in the chair.

Taking a deep, calming breath, she forced herself to stand and took a few shaky steps to the exit. The thought of getting caught after curfew absolutely terrified her. She’d heard horror stories of Filch stringing students up by their toes, locking them in cages, and tossing them into pits of starving Chimaeras. At the time, she’d simply rolled her eyes, sure it was all just talk meant to scare the first years into behaving themselves.

But now, the idea of getting caught by the masochistic caretaker scared the everliving shit out of her. 

She slowly peeked her head out of the Hufflepuff barrel, looking left, then right. The dim firelight spilt out into the corridor, and the long, ominous shadows seemed to beckon her out into the darkness. As she quietly closed the door behind her, the darkness shrouded her in a thick, black blanket. She had been desperately hoping that the moonlight would be enough to see by, lest she be forced to cast her own beacon of light for all of the professors to see. But, unfortunately, her eyes refused to adjust to the lack of light, and she finally pulled out her wand and cast a faint _lumos,_ trying to keep it dim enough so as not to attract too much attention.

As she walked, her footsteps sent out a soft echo, and her breathing sounded loud in her ears. Even with the soft snoring of the portraits, she’d never seen the castle so still, so quiet. It was almost as if the silence was engulfing her, swallowing her whole, and it gave the familiar hallways a menacing air. That, coupled with the fact that she was on her way to meet with the mysterious Brotherhood who had apparently been watching her — she was thoroughly freaked out.

She tried to shake the anxious thoughts away. This was Hogwarts, not some haunted house where someone was lurking around every corner waiting to say _boo_. There was nothing to be afraid of. She knew these halls, and she knew the people who resided them.

The moment she stepped onto the staircase that would bring her directly to the seventh floor, the damned thing decided to move, and she grabbed onto the hand railing, quickly balancing herself so as to not fall off the edge. _Fuck_ , she thought as it brought her to the second floor. There was no other staircase that would lead her directly to the seventh floor, and she didn’t have time to wait around until the stairs decided to move again.

_Okay, don’t panic,_ she thought to herself. _Just find another way there._

As she walked down the second-floor corridor, however, that was proving easier said than done, as the hallways seemed utterly foreign to her in the dark.

“Okay,” she mumbled as she passed by door after door. “This leads to the library. This leads to Defence. But how do I get to the seventh floor?”

“Third corridor on the left,” came a voice.

“Oh, right, thanks,” she said absentmindedly.

She took a step, froze, then quickly whirled herself around, half expecting to see Filch standing behind her. Instead, she came face to face with a familiar smirk.

“Sirius?” She hissed. His smirk only widened as she took a shaky breath, placing a hand on her chest to calm her racing heart. Once the relief that it hadn’t, in fact, been the sadistic caretaker had passed, her fury of being startled set in, and she whacked him on the arm. “What the hell? Why’d you sneak up on me?”

“I wasn’t exactly sneaking,” Sirius chuckled, rubbing his arm absentmindedly. “I’ve been behind you since the Great Hall.”

“Creep,” she mumbled. “Why are you following me?”

“I was just curious why Hufflepuff’s resident book worm is sneaking out past curfew,” he said, raising a questioning brow.

“Erm,” she faltered, desperately trying to find an excuse that he would believe. “I was just — well, I was — erm. I just…lost track of time?”

Sirius let out a low whistle. “Wow. Bit of advice, Hughes — if you’re going to sneak out, always come up with an excuse _before_ you get caught.”

Sarah crossed her arms, bristling as he mocked her. “Well, what’s _your_ excuse, then?”

Sirius shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep. Thought a nice stroll around the castle would silence my wandering thoughts.”

“Oh,” Sarah said lamely. “Right.”

He let out a quiet laugh. “See, that’s how you come up with a believable excuse. No hesitation. Commit to the lie.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “I’ll take note for next time,” she said with a sarcastic sneer. “So, what are you really doing, then? Are the Marauders out for a midnight pranking spree?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed. “Marauder Midnight Pranking Sprees are on Thursdays. No, I’m here to be your escort.”

Sarah blinked, thinking that perhaps she’d just misheard him. “My what?”

“Your escort,” he repeated. “You know, to the initiation ceremony. That is why you’re out here, right?”

Sarah paused as his words sunk in. “ _You’re_ the Brotherhood?” Sarah gasped with wide eyes, suddenly feeling like a complete idiot for not figuring it out sooner.

“Who else would it be?” Sirius said with a self-satisfied smirk.

Sarah narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him. “And you’re my _escort_?”

“Well,” he said with a thoughtful shrug. “Technically, I’m supposed to put a bag over your head and kidnap you. But I didn’t think you’d appreciate that very much.”

“Very astute of you,” Sarah said with a single laugh. “Glad to know you’re not a complete doofus.”

“Excuse me,” came a hiss behind them. The two of them jumped at the voice but sighed in unison at the realisation that it was only a portrait. “Do you mind keeping it down?” The grumpy old fisherman said, his tone of voice betraying any politeness in his words. “ _Some_ of us are trying to _sleep_. Do I have to get Mr Filch over here?”

“Okay, okay, Mr Janson,” Sirius said. “We’re going. Keep your mouth shut, and I’ll put in a good word for you with Mrs Blanch. Deal?”

The fisherman glared at the boy, grumbling as he did so, and turned his attention away from the two students before him without a word.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Sirius chuckled.

“Who’s Mrs Blanch?” Sarah asked.

“Portrait up on the fourth floor. Janson here fancies her,” Sirius said with a wink.

“I do not!” The portrait retorted.

“Oh?” Sirius said, with a raised brow. “So, I shouldn’t put in a good word, then?” The portrait glared before sharply turning its pout to the side. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Sirius mumbled, turning his smirk back to Sarah.

“Well, Miss Hughes,” he continued, holding out his arm for her to take. “Shall we? I am your escort, after all.”

Sarah rolled her eyes but took his arm nonetheless. “Lead the way, Escort Black.”

As they walked, Sarah noticed that he was continuously peeking at a severely crinkled parchment. She’d noticed him playing around with it many times in the past, but it was the first time she’d actually seen it up close.

“What is that?” She asked, pointing to the parchment.

“What’s what?” Sirius said, looking directly at the parchment.

“That parchment in your hand,” she clarified unnecessarily.

He looked up at her, still holding the parchment in his hand. “What parchment?”

Sarah stared at him with a disbelieving expression for a moment before rolling her eyes and giving up. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Oh, thanks. Mum says the same thing,” he grinned before returning his attention back to the parchment that was definitely not in his hand.

As the two of them wandered along, being careful not to make too much noise, Sarah couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer.

“So, what’s the deal with this Brotherhood?” She asked.

“Honestly, Hughes,” Sirius scoffed. “For a bookworm, you’re not very clever.”

“Rude,” she mumbled.

He chuckled lightly. “I just mean I’m surprised you haven’t figured it all out. You were the one who gave us the idea, after all.”

“To create a secret Brotherhood?” She asked with a confused frown, unable to recall any such conversation.

“A secret _society,_ ” he clarified.

Sarah stopped in her tracks. “That’s what this is all about?”

Sirius continued walking a few paces before he realised that she was no longer beside him. “What can I say? Your tale of mystery really struck a chord with us.” Sarah stared at him for a moment before continuing on without a word.

“Of course,” Sirius babbled as they walked on. “We couldn’t find anything about them. Nothing in the Hogwarts library, nothing in the London library —”

“How the fuck did you get to London?” Sarah cut him off, her mouth opening in shock.

“Don’t worry about,” Sirius said. “Anyway,” he continued, not bothering to offer any more information. “We did all the research we could. But, not surprisingly, we couldn’t find anything about them. So, we made our own secret society.”

“You made your own,” Sarah repeated in astonishment.

“Well, what else were we supposed to do?” Sirius shrugged as if it were the most logical conclusion.

Sarah continued on silently for a moment, and Sirius half began to wonder if he’d said something wrong. After a long while, she broke her silence. “You never cease to amaze me, Black.”

“Thank you,” he beamed, surprised at how pleased he felt with her semi-praise.

“Fucking made your own secret society,” she mumbled to herself. “You’re ridiculous.”

The two of them wandered along the corridors, pausing at corners and ducking behind statues whenever a prefect was around. In no time, they were climbing the stairs and turning onto the seventh-floor corridor.

“Here we are,” Sirius mumbled, tucking the parchment into one of the pockets of his robes.

Sarah looked all around and saw nothing but an empty corridor. “Are we early?” She asked.

“Nope,” Sirius said, strolling up to an empty wall. “We’re actually late. Everyone else is already here.”

As Sirius began to pace back and forth, Sarah looked around once more. What was he talking about? There was no one else here. Surely, she was missing something. Just as she was about to voice her confusion, she noticed Sirius pushing open a door that had certainly not been there a moment ago.

“After you, Miss Hughes,” Sirius grinned, holding the large, wooden door open for her. She stood still for a moment, mentally trying to work out what had just happened. After a pause, she shook her head and decided to just go with it. This castle was always changing in one way or anything. Might as well just add magically-appearing doors to the ever-growing list of weird goings-on.

She stepped through the door and took in her surroundings. They stood in a dark, almost dungeon-like room. On the walls hung long, red tapestries, each adorned with the six-fingered cyclops hand that she’d seen on the invitation. The room was nearly dark, apart from the softly flickering candles that shone just bright enough to be able to see.

Toward the back of the room was a long table with various objects, next to which stood three figures in long, dark robes with the hoods pulled over their heads. The imposing effect was slightly ruined, however, as one of the figures couldn’t stop giggling, another was nudging the giggling figure in an attempt to get him to stop, which only made him giggle even more, and the third figure was being swatted at by a red-headed girl.

“I’m not putting on the blindfold, so forget it,” Lily said.

“Evans,” the figure whined. “Come on, it’s part of the thing! If you don’t put it on, it’ll ruin the ambience.”

“No, Potter,” she said firmly, folding her arms.

“Fine,” the figure — James — sighed defeatedly before catching sight of Sirius and Sarah standing in the doorway. He quickly lowered his hood and gave Sirius a pathetic frown. “Padfoot! Why aren’t you in your robes? And why isn’t she—” he pointed to Sarah. “—blindfolded? We were supposed to kidnap them!”

“It’s called self-preservation, Prongsy,” Sirius said, closing the door behind him and placing a hand on Sarah’s back as he urged her further inside. “I’m not kidnapping a girl that has bested me at least three times in Defence. Besides, you didn’t get Evans blindfolded, either.”

“I’m at least trying. Merlin, am I the only one taking this seriously?” James muttered, tossing a dark set of robes to Sirius.

“I’m taking this perfectly serious, mate,” Sirius smirked as he donned the robes and turned to Sarah. “Would you be a dear and join the other recruits?”

Sarah followed his pointing finger and saw the small group of ‘recruits’ that were sitting cross-legged in the centre of the room. She knew about Lily, Dorcas, and Mary, but the other two figures surprised her.

“Anna? Gretchen?” She asked, and the two girls turned their heads at the sound of their names.

“Hey, Sarah,” Anna smiled as Sarah came to join them. “I figured you’d be here.”

“Why didn’t you guys tell me you got invitations?” Sarah asked, scooting up beside Lily.

“The letter said not to say anything,” Gretchen shrugged.

Sarah shot Lily a pointed look. “That’s what I said.”

“Well,” Lily laughed. “At least we know you’re all in the right house.”

As the girls giggled together, James cleared his throat to gain their attention. “Now that we’re all here, we may begin. Since _some people_ —” He gave Lily a pointed look. “—won’t put on the blindfolds, we’ll just skip that part. Recruits, on your knees.”

“Potter,” Lily said, making no move to rise to her knees. “Just tell us what this is.”

“Evans,” James whined, stomping his foot in frustration. “Just do it!”

Lily rolled her eyes but raised herself up all the same. Sarah gave an inquisitive look to Sirius, who nodded his head as if to tell her to just follow instructions. She sighed, but complied, as did the rest of the girls.

“Now,” James said, pulling himself up in satisfaction that the girls had listened. “Bother Wormtail — the book.” At that, the shortest of the robed figures stepped up, handing James a thick, leather-bound book.

“Thank you, Brother Wormtail,” James said, nodding to Peter before turning back to the kneeling girls. “Welcome all to the first-ever meeting of the Brotherhood of the Red Shadow.”

He paused, clearing waiting for something. When nothing happened, he quickly turned to the three hooded figures behind him, who jumped, as though just remembering that they were supposed to do something. The three of them raised their arms and let their bare hands slip out of the sleeves, wiggling their fingers as they whispered, “ _Shadow, shadow, shadow…_ ”

James, seemingly satisfied with the display, turned back to the girls before him. “Tonight, you ladies will learn what it means to be part of a brotherhood.” He held up the book. “This here is the ancient script. It has been in our Brotherhood for generations, and it will guide us through tonight’s ceremony.”

“Isn’t that your Potion’s book?” Lily asked, squinting at the cover.

“No,” James snapped. “It’s the ancient book of the Brotherhood.”

“It is,” Lily nodded. “You’ve just transfigured it to look older. Nice job on that. You should really show Professor McGonagall.”

“He did,” said one of the hooded figures, and Sarah recognised it as Remus’ voice. “Showed her this morning. She was so proud.”

“Moony,” James hissed. “Stop fraternising with the recruits.”

“Isn’t that what the Brotherhood is all about?” Remus asked. “Fraternity?”

“But they’re not part of the Brotherhood yet,” James insisted. “And they won’t ever be if you don’t shut it.”

“Okay, okay,” Remus said, holding up his hands in defeat. “Continue, wise leader.”

“Thank you,” James said with forced politeness. “Now, as I was saying. This book will guide us through tonight’s ceremony. However, before we begin, I must warn you all. You will face many hardships tonight. You will go through daunting trials and tribulations. You will come face to face with your deepest nightmares. But if you somehow manage to make it to the other side, you will experience firsthand the camaraderie of the Brotherhood. You will know what you’re made of, and you will never again be alone.

“I ask you now,” he continued, looking each of the girls in the eye. “Are you up for the task?” After a hesitant pause, the girls muttered their consent, and James gave a convinced nod.

“Wonderful,” he said, handing the book back to Peter and walking toward the table in the back of the room. As he riffled around, the girls gave each other anxious glances, wondering what exactly he meant by _trials and tribulations_.

As he came back to them, he held out a soft toy lamb in one hand and a cheese knife in the other. “This here is the sacrificial lamb.” Behind him, Peter began to whimper.

“Relax, Wormy,” Sirius said, patting the boy on the arm. “You’ll get Mr Snuffles back in a minute.”

“To truly become part of the Brotherhood,” James said, holding the soft toy up by the neck. “We must join our souls together by drinking the blood of this lamb.” In one, swift motion, he slashed the cheese knife across the throat of the soft toy, miming blood spurting from its neck and making mildly disturbing gurgling noises.

Sarah turned her head to the side, trying to contain her giggles, and noticed that Lily was doing the same.

James tossed the soft toy back to Peter, who rushed to catch it and cradled it in his arms. “Brother Moony,” James said. “The ceremonial goblet, if you please.”

Remus grabbed the perfectly ordinary cup from the table and stepped forward, coming to stand in front of Sarah.

“You’re supposed to drink this,” Remus said in a tired voice.

Sarah peered in at the red liquid and give Remus a questioning look. “What is it?”

“That,” James said. “Is the sacrificial blood of the lamb. Meant to be drunk by all our recruits before they may join the Brotherhood.”

“That’s gross,” Gretchen muttered.

“Yeah,” Dorcas said. “I’m not drinking blood, Potter.”

“It’s just cranberry juice,” Sirius called out, earning himself an outraged cry from James for ruining the illusion.

“Oh, I love cranberry juice,” Sarah smiled, taking a small swig of juice. One by one, the girls drank from the ceremonial goblet, taking small gulps until it was completely empty.

“Congratulations,” James said as Remus replaced the goblet on the table and returned to the line of hooded minions standing behind James. “You have completed your first trial. You have shared in the blood of the sacrifice, and you are one. Now, it is time for the second trial. A trial that will test your limits. A trial that will separate the girls from the women.”

From one of the pockets of his robes, he pulled out a very large, very long wooden paddle, and Sarah vaguely wondered where he’d been hiding it.

“First up,” James said, nodding to Lily. “Is Recruit Evans.” He levelled the paddle at his side and prepared himself. “Assume the position.”

“Fuck. No.” Lily gave him a firm look.

“But, Evans,” James whined, dropping his arm in frustration. “It’s part of the ritual! Hughes said so.”

Lily simply blinked. “If you touch me with that thing, murdering you will also be part of the ritual.”

James awkwardly looked from girl to girl, each one giving him identical murderous glares, and it finally dawned on him how severely he’d fucked up. “Okay…okay. We’ll just…skip that one,” he said, tossing the paddle behind him, which disappeared mid-air with a soft _pop_.

“Good call, mate,” Sirius sniggered, slapping James on the back as Remus and Peter shook their heads in disappointment at James’ lack of judgement.

“On to the third and final task,” James continued with a forced chuckle, trying his hardest to defuse the awkward tension that he’d created. “The sacred oath. You may stand, recruits.”

As the girls awkwardly got to their feet, their knees protesting from having been bent for so long, James grabbed the book once more and opened it to a random page, clearly not intending on reading anything. “Raise your right hand, please. Now, repeat after me. _I, state your name._ ”

The girls giggled. “I, state your name,” they said in unison.

“ _Do hereby pledge allegiance to the Brotherhood._ ”

“Do hereby pledge allegiance to the Brotherhood.”

James paused, obviously trying to come up with the rest of the pledge. “Erm… _With liberty and…fraternity…for all._ ”

“With liberty and fraternity for all.”

Another pause. “The end.”

“The end.”

“Now,” James said, closing the book with a resounding _thump_. “Before you can join the Brotherhood, you’ll need to be reborn. You must shed your old names, your old lives, and emerge anew. It’s time for the naming ceremony. Brother Padfoot, would you do the honours?” James motioned to Sirius with a flourish of his arm.

Sirius stepped up and removed his hood for the first time since he’d raised it at the beginning of the ceremony. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of acorns and stepped up to Sarah. “Let’s see,” he said, placing a finger on his chin in thought. The two stared at each other in silence for a long moment before he said, “I hereby name you…Sister Bandit.” He handed her one of the acorns.

Sarah frowned, deftly taking the acorn. “Why Bandit?”

Sirius nodded to her glasses. “Glasses look like a racoon; raccoons steal things. Bandit.”

He ignored her scoff before stepping over to Lily. Another brief pause ensued before he said, “Sister Vixen.” He held out the acorn.

Lily stared down at the acorn, making no motion to take it. “Try again.”

“What?” Sirius frowned. “You can’t refuse a name.”

“I just did,” Lily said simply.

He turned around and gave James a helpless look. “Can she do that?”

James threw his arms up in defeat. “She’s done whatever she’s wanted all night. Just give her a new name.”

Sirius sighed and turned back to the now smug Lily. “Fine. How about…Spitfire.”

Lily paused for a moment before plucking the acorn from his hand. “I’ll take it.”

One by one, he made his way down the line, giving each of the girls a name. Anna had become Howlett, Gretchen had become Coco, Dorcas had become Sly, and, finally, Mary had become Whitepaws.

At last, when all of the names were given and the acorns were handed out, James stepped forward to stand alongside Sirius, as did Remus and Peter, who’d finally removed their hoods.

“Congratulations,” James smiled. “You’re all officially part of the Brotherhood of the Red Shadow.”

There was an awkward silence, as the girls looked to one another. “What now?” Dorcas asked.

“Now,” James’ grin spread wider. “We wreak havoc. We claim our reign over this school with an iron fist. We destroy our enemies, and we _rule._ ”

“What James means to say,” Remus said. “Is we’ll be having a meeting once a month to eat crisps and hang out.”

“Oh, sounds fun,” Mary smiled, and the other girls agreed with her.

As James laid in on Remus for ruining his vision of the Brotherhood, Peter quickly began setting up the table with bowls of crisps and punch, and the rest of them descended upon the food.

“So,” Lily asked, nibbling on a biscuit. “Why the Red Shadow?”

“Red for Gryffindor,” Sirius said.

“Obviously,” James grinned. “Sorry Puffs,” he added at the disdainful glares he was receiving from the resident Hufflepuffs.

“And Shadow because we’ll be everywhere,” Sirius continued in a breathy, dramatic voice. “Stalking our prey, causing devastation, then gone like the wind.”

“That sounds like a lot of thought to put into a name,” Lily said sceptically.

“Really, it just sounded cool,” Remus chimed in.

“That sounds more like it,” she smirked as James shot Remus a glare for ruining yet another one of his oh-so-brilliant ideas.

“But you know,” Anna said thoughtfully. “I’m not sure we can really call it a Brotherhood.”

“Why not?” Sirius asked.

“Well, we’re girls,” she replied.

“It’s just what it’s called,” James snapped, clearly annoyed that everyone seemed to be dead-set on ruining his well-thought-out ceremony.

“Yeah,” Anna continued on. “But it’s hardly a _Brother_ hood if we’re _girls._ If anything, it should be a _Sister_ hood. There are more girls than there are boys.”

“ _Fine,_ ” James sighed with immense self-restraint. “We’ll compromise. The Siblinghood of the Red Shadow.”

“Siblinghood,” Anna mused. “I like it. Sounds much more inclusive.”

As the rest of the group chatted amongst themselves, Sirius turned to Sarah. “So, do you regret sneaking out?”

She chuckled. “You know, I thought I would when James brought out that paddle. But, no, it’s been surprisingly fun.”

“Yeah,” Sirius laughed. “Sorry about the paddle, there. We warned him it wouldn’t go over well with a bunch of girls.”

“It’s fine,” Sarah said. “But really…Bandit?”

Sirius smirked. “It suits you.”

“Hardly,” she rolled her eyes. “I’ve never stolen anything in my life.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” he said. “Surely, you must have stolen a…sickle from your mum or something.”

“Nope,” Sarah said proudly. “Never even stolen so much as a lolly.”

Sirius smiled at her, slowly shaking his head back and forth. “You really need to get out more. You’re in the prime of your life, 15 years old, and all you do is study and read.”

“I like reading,” Sarah muttered, slightly insulted.

“Don’t worry, Hughes,” Sirius said with a wink. “Fate has brought us together. We’ll make a true Bandit of you, yet. Just stick with me, kid.”

“And there’s that regret,” she mumbled, giving him a forced smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, finally reached chapter 10! I hope you liked it!
> 
> I'm sorry it took me so long to get this out, but I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I just recently watched Animal House, and I thought it was a really funny idea to have Marauders & co. do some bullshit like that.
> 
> I know there wasn’t much Sarah/Sirius in this chapter, but there will be plenty in the next chapter. And I’ll try to have it up sooner this time!


	11. Once Upon a Winter’s Ball

The week before winter holidays, the castle was abuzz with talk of the Winter Ball. While the first and second years were sulking about not being permitted to attend, the rest of the castle was aflutter. Boys were nervously asking girls to be their dates, while girls were gushing over which dresses to wear.

Even Anna, who’d always detested the idea of traditional dating, seemed, at the very least, not uninterested in the festivities.

“Did you see the announcement that Professor Sprout put up?” She asked that morning at breakfast, her smile uncharacteristically excited. “Dumbledore scheduled an extra Hogsmeade trip on Thursday afternoon.”

“Really?” Gretchen asked with sudden interest. “Oh, that’s perfect timing. I need to get a new dress.”

Sarah stared at her in shock. “Gretchen, you already have a dress.”

“I know,” Gretchen replied with a forlorn frown. “But Zacharias—” her voice adopted a breathy, almost dream-like tone as she talked about her forever-crush-turned-date. “—said he’s wearing blue robes. So I need to make sure we match.”

“Why don’t you just change the colour of the ones you have now?” Anna asked.

“I tried,” Gretchen shrugged. “But they just didn’t look right in any other colour.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Sarah said with a fond smile.

“Not ridiculous. Just fashion-conscious,” Gretchen said matter-of-factly. “Are you going, Anna?”

“Yeah,” Anna said. “I need to stock up on pumpkin pasties before we go home for the holidays.”

“Didn’t you just buy, like, five galleons worth of those?” Gretchen asked with a judgemental raise of her brow.

“Gretch,” Anna said, raising her own brow in challenge. “We’re going to be back in the muggle world for two whole weeks. If you think I’m _not_ going to eat all of those pasties in the first three days, you are severely overestimating my self-restraint.”

Gretchen snorted and shook her head in amusement before turning to Sarah. “What about you, Sar? You coming with us?”

“Probably not,” Sarah said. “I have all the sugar I need for the holidays, and I already have a dress.”

“Are you matching with Sirius?” Gretchen asked.

“Why would I?” Sarah replied with a bemused frown.

“Well, aren’t you going to the Ball with him?” Anna asked, sharing a puzzled look with Gretchen.

Sarah let out a surprised laugh. “Of course, not. What gave you that idea?”

“I mean, he asked you to go with him about a dozen times,” Gretchen said as if it were obvious.

“Yeah, and I said no every time,” Sarah replied.

“Oh, come on, Sarah,” Gretchen said. “Just say yes and get it over with. It’s so obvious you’re going to end up together.”

Sarah spluttered as she took in what Gretchen was saying. It was _not_ obvious, thank you very much. In fact, the two of them had been nothing but platonic for a month now, and to think otherwise was just ridiculous. Surely, Gretchen just had her head too far in the clouds to see that.

She looked to Anna for backup but was disappointed to see her nodding along with Gretchen. “It does seem inevitable,” she agreed with a smirk. What an absolute traitor.

“How do you figure?” Sarah said with an unamused glare.

“It’s a total will-they-won’t-they scenario,” Anna said. “Boy loves girl, girl hates boy, bada bing, bada boom, happily ever after.”

Sarah resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Outside of Hollywood, I don’t think that’s how this works. And he does not _love_ me,” she added almost as an afterthought. “We’re just friends.” 

Gretchen gave Sarah a level look. “Imagine it, Sarah. You’re at the dance. You look gorgeous, he looks handsome as ever. You’re dancing under the softly falling snowflakes, he tucks a lock of hair behind your ear — you’re telling me you wouldn’t melt at his feet if he did that?”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Sarah said with finality. “Look, he’s asked me out, I’ve said no, and now we’re just friends. End of story.”

Anna turned to Gretchen. “I’ll bet you fifty sickles they’re dating by the end of the year.”

“Anna!” Sarah cried in outrage.

“I’d say by Valentine’s day,” Gretchen said with a smirk.

“Gretch!”

“You’re on,” Anna grinned, shaking Gretchen’s hand.

“You two are the worst,” Sarah glowered, more determined than ever to never date Sirius Black.

At that moment, a soft fluttering filled the room as owls came swooping through the windows to deliver packages, letters, and daily newspapers to the students. Sarah’s mood instantly lifted as a small parcel fell into her lap, and all thoughts of her traitorous friends’ bet were forgotten. She spotted her mother’s handwriting on the outside of the small letter attached to the parcel and tore it open with fervour, her eyes scanning the contents.

 

_Dearest Sarah,_

_I hope all is well! Things here are good. Dad is on a business trip in Wales, so it’s just me and Jack right now. Did I tell you he’s got a girlfriend now? Personally, I think 12 is too young to have a girlfriend, but dad gave him the go-ahead, so I haven’t got much choice in the matter. Haven’t met her yet, but he says she’s lovely. I’ll defer judgement until I meet her, but he insisted on buying her the most expensive earrings in the shop for Christmas, so she must be worth it!_

_I was so glad to hear things are better with that boy. Didn’t I tell you things would work themselves out? Although, I don’t like this talk of a Brotherhood. Sounds a bit like a gang. Hope you’re not getting yourself into too much trouble._

_How are Anna and Gretchen? Have they killed each other yet? I do hope not. They’re such good girls._

_I just wanted to write to make sure you’re still coming home for the holidays. We miss you lots here. Gran is dying to see you again. She’s got herself another cat (that makes 9 now!!!) and she so wants you to meet her._

_Oh, and I’m enclosing something special for you. I hope it fits with your dress! Just be careful with it, please!_

_Have a wonderful time at the dance, darling. If I don’t hear from you before the holidays, dad and I will be at the main entrance of King’s Cross to pick you up at 7._

_Miss you, love you!_

_xxx_

_Mum_

_P.S. Could you bring some of those screaming chocolates for Jack? He loved them last year, and it would be a nice present to give him!_

 

Sarah smiled as she finished reading through the letter before tucking it back in the envelope. She carefully opened the parcel, her fingers shaking with anticipation, and pulled out a black, velvet box. Her grin widened even more when she saw the contents inside. Sitting on the plush, black velvet was a simple chain necklace with a small diamond hanging down from the centre.

Sarah remembered seeing her mother wear the necklace on nights out with her father, and she’d always loved how elegant it looked. She’d begged her mother for as long as she could remember to give her the necklace, but her mother was adamant that Sarah was much too young for something so precious. It seemed now that her mother had finally relented.

“Oh, wow,” Gretchen said, leaning over the table and peering into the box. “That’s gorgeous.”

“You wouldn’t mind if I just…” Anna said, stealthily reaching a hand toward the box in an attempt to swipe it away.

Sarah snapped it closed and hugged it close. “Not a chance, Michaels,” she said narrowing her eyes in a teasing glare.

“Was worth a shot,” Anna mumbled as she stuffed a final sausage in her mouth. “Come on, we should head out before we’re late for Care of Magical Creatures.”

“I’ll never understand why you decided to take that class,” Gretchen blabbered to anyone who would listen. “A bunch of smelly, dirty animals _pooping_ everywhere. It’s vile.”

“They’re cute, and you’re just jealous that animals don’t like you,” Anna said.

“Animals like me just fine,” Gretchen said testily.

“Sure, they do,” Anna said condescendingly. “That must be why that crup bit you in first year, eh?”

“It bit me because it was feral.”

“It bit you because you pulled its tail.”

Sarah rolled her eyes as they continued their back and forth and slipped the necklace into her bag before sneaking away from the bickering couple. Her mum had finally started to see her as an adult — well, enough to send her the necklace, at any rate — and she wasn’t going to let their squabbling ruin her good mood.

Making her way down to the paddock, Sarah wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck, shivering from the harsh, bitter wind. With chattering teeth, she plunged her hands deep within her pockets, desperately wishing that she’d worn a thicker jumper that morning.

“Someone looks chilly,” came a voice behind her. She turned and smiled at the bespectacled boy trailing a few paces back.

“Hey, James,” she said, pausing long enough for him to fall into step with her. “Where’s the rest of your posse?”

“Peter’s having a crisis,” he said offhandedly. “They’ll be here soon.”

“Oh, geez,” Sarah chuckled. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Well, by some miracle, he’s actually got someone to go to the Ball with him,” James said.

“I don’t really see how that’s crisis-worthy,” Sarah frowned. It wasn’t exactly a _miracle_ that he had a date — after all, there’s someone for everyone out there. But it certainly wasn’t a tragedy.

James shrugged. “I guess he’s freaking out that she’ll change her mind, or that he’ll step on her feet while they’re dancing, or that she’s only doing it for a laugh. I don’t know, really; there was a lot of blubbering. I don’t see what the big deal is, though. If anything, _she’s_ the one who should be having a crisis.”

For that, he received a well-deserved slap on the arm. “Don’t be mean,” Sarah scolded him as he cringed away, laughing, but she couldn’t help the smirk that slipped to her lips.

“I kid, I kid,” James chuckled. “He’s just nervous. It’s his first date, after all.”

“Really? That’s sweet,” she cooed. “Well, I’m sure he’ll have a nice time with her. Even if he does step on her feet.”

“Yeah,” James gave a forced chuckle, suddenly looking nervous as he began rubbing the back of his neck.

As they finally reached their destination, Sarah turned to James with a curious frown. “You okay?”

“Well, actually,” he began tentatively. “I was wondering if — you know, if Lily — I mean, does she have a, erm…date? Not that I, you know, _care_ , or anything. It’s purely out of curiosity.”

Sarah couldn’t stop herself from smiling. She knew for a fact that James had asked Lily over a dozen times to be his date to the Ball, and it was no surprise that he was trying to work her friend for information.

“Curiosity, eh?” Sarah said. “So, you’re not asking because you, you know, want to ask her yourself?”

“Well,” he replied, feigning disinterest. “I mean, if she doesn’t have a date, I wouldn’t mind helping her out and filling that vacancy. It’s only the right thing to do, after all.”

“Of course, of course,” Sarah said with a smirk. “Well, she doesn’t have a date. But I don’t think she wants one.”

“Why wouldn’t she want a date?” James asked with genuine confusion, immediately dropping the act.

“She just wants to go with her friends,” she shrugged. “You know, like a girl’s night.”

“Oh,” James said, biting his lip as he frowned. “Right, of course. But if… if that changes, and if she, you know, gets a date…do you think you could tell me?”

Sarah resisted the urge to snort. “I don’t think you should worry about that. She’s already turned down three guys. If she hasn’t agreed to a date by now, she’s certainly not going to before the Ball.”

“Good,” James said with a small, reassured smile. A second later, his smile dropped into a glower. “Wait, who were the other guys?”

“Oh, like I’m going to tell you that,” Sarah laughed.

“I won’t do anything to them,” James said innocently. “I was just curious.”

“I know you well enough by now to know that that’s a blatant lie,” Sarah said.

James had the gall to look offended. “Why, Bandit, I would never lie. I am an honourable man.”

“Right,” Sarah rolled her eyes. “So I guess that means honourable men are charming the flowers in the gardens to spit at everyone that walks by now?”

James snorted and quickly bit his lip to stifle his laughter. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t.” Sarah gave him a knowing smile.

“So, what about you, then?” James asked, leaning back against the wooden post of the paddock as they waited for Kettleburn to arrive. “Have you got a date?”

“What’s this?” Came a voice. Sarah turned and saw Sirius standing there, hands on hips and foot tapping incessantly. “You trying to pick up my girl, Potter?”

“ _Your_ girl?” Sarah asked, equal parts amused and insulted.

“Don’t worry, Paddy,” James grinned. “You know my heart’s already taken. Unless…” He turned to Sarah, giving her a flirtatious wink. “What do you say, Hughes? How would you like to go to the Ball with a stud like me?”

Sarah rolled her eyes, both at James’ exaggerated arrogance and at the suddenly murderous expression Sirius was shooting James. “As tempting as that is, I already have a date.”

“You what?” Sirius asked, his entire body deflating slightly.

“Well, not really,” she amended. “It’s just Anna. But I promised I would go with her.” She felt oddly compelled to set the record straight, and she diligently told herself that it was not for Sirius’ benefit. She also diligently ignored the leaping sensation in her stomach at Sirius’ relieved smile.

“Pity,” James said with a disappointed shrug. “We could have had the greatest love story there ever was.”

Sirius glowered for a moment before shooting James a smirk. “Well, since it looks like you’ve moved on from Lily, you wouldn’t mind if I asked her to the Ball, then, would you?”

“Okay, okay,” James said with a nervous laugh. “We’re all just joking here. No need to ask Evans anything.”

“That’s what I thought,” Sirius said with a triumphant grin.

Sarah rolled her eyes before turning to Sirius. “So, how’s Peter? Looks like you calmed him down.” She nodded to the boy who was, at last, making his way down to the paddock with Remus in tow.

“Oh, yeah,” Sirius said, glancing over his shoulder. “We gave him some dancing pointers and chocolate, and we promised to do his hair before the Ball.”

“You taught him to dance?” Sarah asked with a mildly-mocking smile. “How sweet.”

“Well, sort of,” Remus said, finally joining the group with Peter by his side. 

“Sort of?” James asked with narrowed eyes.

“They enchanted my shoes not to step on hers,” Peter said with a proud smile, as if he had actually accomplished anything.

“That’s about as good as we can do at this point,” Sirius shrugged. “It’s pretty much impossible to teach Pete to dance.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Sarah said, shooting Sirius a glare before giving Peter a reassuring smile.

“Oh, no,” Peter shook his head gravely. “It’s true. They’ve been trying since third year. I’m hopeless. Charmed shoes are the best I can ask for, at this point.”

Sarah laughed at his forthrightness. “Well, congrats on the shoes, then, I guess.”

As Remus, James, and Peter continued chatting away, Sirius turned to Sarah. “So, you’re really going to the Ball with Anna?”

“Yeah,” Sarah nodded. “She’s not really into this kind of this, so going together is really the only way to get her to go. She seems excited about it, though. Which is a bit surprising for her.”

“That’s nice of you,” Sirius smiled. “But, you know, if you ever wanted a proper date…”

“If I wanted a date, I would ask Remus,” Sarah said with a teasing smirk.

“What?” Sirius cried, outraged. “Why him?”

“Well, James is obsessed with Lily, Peter’s taken, apparently, and _you_ have promised to never ask me out again,” Sarah said.

“Yeah, but _you_ never promised not to ask _me_ out,” Sirius said with a victorious smile at apparently having found a loophole in their friendship agreement.

“Right. And why would I ask you out?” Sarah asked, crossing her arms.

“My boyish charm?” Sirius gave her his most dazzling smile.

Sarah blinked, unimpressed. “Not even close.”

“My witty banter?”

“Getting colder.”

“My raw sex appeal?”

“Wow, arctic tundra.”

At that moment, a breathless Anna stepped into their circle. “Hey, what are we playing?”

“Destroy Sirius’ Confidence,” Remus said, glancing between Sarah and Sirius with an amused smile.

“Oh, sounds fun. Let me try,” Anna smiled. “Makes dumb puns.”

Sirius gasped indignantly. “They’re not dumb.”

“Has smelly feet,” Peter piped up, bouncing excitedly.

“Wormtail!” Sirius cried.

“Snores like a Hippogriff,” James said. “Hey, this is fun.”

Sirius glowered at them all. “I hate you guys.”

“Love you too, Paddy,” James grinned, ruffling Sirius’ hair.

As the boys continued their assault on Sirius’ ego, Kettleburn finally emerged from the castle and made his way over to the paddock. Letting the students inside, he warned them to be quiet and not to make any sudden movements, as they’d be working with Porlocks that day. The poor creatures were huddled in the corner of the pen, shivering and eyeing the students distrustfully.

While Kettleburn began his lecture Sirius leaned over to Sarah.

“So,” he whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “If you won’t go with me, will you at least save me a dance?”

Sarah thought for a moment before leaning over. “Only if you promise not to make a big deal out of it.”

“Deal,” Sirius grinned. “But I should warn you. My dancing skills have been known to woo many a lady, so there’s the very real possibility that you’ll fall in love with me as soon as you see my moves.”

Sarah tried to turn her snort into a quiet cough. “I’ll try to control myself,” she said before returning her attention to the lecture. The rest of the lesson, she wondered what possible _moves_ Sirius had.

***

The day of the ball had arrived, and the entire castle seemed to vibrate with excitement. The ghosts floated through the halls, tittering away with enthusiasm, and the portraits ran from frame to frame, spreading gossip from one painting to another. Meanwhile, the living residents were busy preparing for the festivities.

The Great Hall had been transformed into a winter wonderland, with icy waterfalls cascading down the walls, tables filled with the most mouthwatering foods, and a grand Christmas tree twinkling at the front of the room. The high ceiling had been charmed to let forth a gentle snowfall that would vanish just before it touched the guests’ heads, further lending to the almost otherworldly feel of the room.

While the Professors finished with the decorations in the Great Hall, the rest of the students were in their dorms, either getting dressed for the Ball or sending jealous glares at those getting ready.

In the Hufflepuff house, Sarah, Anna, and Gretchen were bustling around their room, helping each other zip up their dresses, passing each other lipsticks and eyeshadows, and pinning back stray hairs.

“How do I look?” Gretchen asked, giving herself one last look in the mirror before turning back to Sarah to get her opinion.

Sarah smiled at she looked Gretchen over. She wore a modest blue gown with an overlay of lacy tool, which was paired nicely with the soft, white cloak fastened around her shoulders and the delicate butterfly pin in her hair that flapped its wings every so often. Sarah had thought it overkill that Gretchen had gone through the trouble of buying an entirely new dress just to match with her date. But, seeing her now, she felt a swell of pride at how regal her friend looked, and she silently approved of Gretchen’s decision.

“You look amazing,” Sarah smiled. “Zacharias isn’t going to know what hit him.”

Gretchen bit her lip and blushed, looking down at her dress for a moment before giving Sarah a glowing smile. “You think?”

“I know,” Sarah grinned.

At that moment, Anna emerged from the bathroom and gave a twirl. “I feel like a damn princess!” She squealed, flipping her hands through her dress. It was a complicated number, as the top seemed to climb up her body like the leaves of a tree, while the bottom flared out like flower petals, each one swaying of their own accord and bristling as she ran her hands through them. It may have been a tad unconventional, but it was certainly Anna.

“You look like one,” Sarah laughed, enjoying the rare sight of Anna actually enjoying herself.

“How did you get them to move like this?” Gretchen muttered, trying to grasp one of the pink petals that just wouldn’t stay still long enough for her to hold on to it.

Anna swatted her hand away. “It’s a secret,” she said, running a soothing hand over the petaled dress, which gave a soft shudder as it visibly calmed.

“Whatever,” Gretchen rolled her eyes, not caring enough to want to try to wrangle the answer out of her stubborn friend. “Sar, you almost ready to go?”

“Yep,” Sarah said, standing from the vanity and grabbing her mother’s necklace. “Could you just put this on for me?”

She handed it to Gretchen and turned, pulling her hair out of the way to allow her to fasten it in place. When the necklace had been secured around her throat, she turned to the mirror and gave herself one last look over. She wore a purple, satin dress with shimmering beads sewn to the corseted bodice. Her hair had been braided to the side and clipped in place to fall over her shoulder in soft waves, and her mother’s necklace hung from her throat and dipped down her chest, stopping just above the neckline of her dress.

“Is it too much?” Sarah asked, nervously running her palms over the silky fabric.

Gretchen gave an inelegant snort that didn’t quite match her outfit, earning her a smack on the arm from Anna. “It’s perfect,” Anna assured her, shooting Gretchen a glare.

“I have a feeling that a certain grey-eyed scoundrel will be head-over-heels as soon as he sees you,” Gretchen smirked briefly at the idea of Sirius’ reaction, but her smirk soon fell into a tired frown. “But are you sure you won’t take your glasses off?”

“I can’t see without them,” Sarah huffed. They’d been arguing about it all evening, and Sarah was more than a little annoyed with Gretchen’s insistence.

“It’s fine,” Anna said quickly, taking on Sarah’s usual role of peacekeeper. “Gretchen, she looks fine with them on. Sarah, you look fine with them on. Now, let’s go dance!”

While the three girls donned their cloaks and made their way up to the Great Hall, the occupants of the Gryffindor boy’s dormitory were still finishing up their own preparations, albeit in a slightly different way. While Peter sniffed his socks to make sure that they were still clean enough to wear and Remus frowned in disgust, James stood beside Sirius, holding up two nearly identical bowties.

“Which one of these says, ‘I love you, and I’ll do anything for you, but not in, like, a creepy, stalker way?’” He asked.

Sirius gave the two bowties a brief glance before returning his gaze to the mirror. “Depends,” he shrugged, running his fingers through his hair and smoothing down any flyaways. “Are you trying to look like a bell-end or aren’t you?”

James rolled his eyes and held up the one on the right, tossing the other in an unceremonious heap on the bed. “Right, so this one.”

Peter picked up the discarded bowtie and squinted between the two. “Aren’t these the same?”

James and Sirius shared a look before breaking into mocking fits of laughter. “Oh, Peter, you simple boy,” James said, patting Peter on the shoulder and nodding to the bowtie in his hand. “That is obsidian. This is onyx.”

“Oh…right,” Peter mumbled, still squinting at the two bowties, failing to see any difference in colour, let alone how one could be better than the other.

“ _Aren’t these the same_ ,” Sirius chuckled to himself, leaning back and scrutinising his appearance in the mirror.

In stark contrast to his normally dishevelled look, he’d worn a standard set of dress robes over a fitted waistcoat, with a straight and even bowtie sitting snuggly against the base of his throat. His hair had been combed, his shoes had been polished, and his face had been shaven clean. He generally tended to ignore the drivel that his parents attempted to drill into him; but if there was one thing that he retained from his upbringing, it was how to dress properly.

“Well, don’t you look dashing,” Remus said, giving Sirius’ reflection a grin. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to impress a certain someone.”

“That I am, Moony,” Sirius said, smirking at his reflection before turning away from the mirror. “Tonight is critical for my plan.”

“Oh, so you actually have a plan again?” James asked, shrugging his arms into his suit jacket. “Because, here, I thought you were just winging it like the rest of us.”

“I always have a plan, my dear Prongs,” Sirius said. “And I have _not_ been _winging it_. I’ve simply been laying the groundwork.”

“I thought you already did that,” Peter asked, nervously fiddling with his hair and tapping his shoes against different objects to make sure that the charm was holding up.

“Yes, well,” Sirius bristled, struggling to maintain his haughty air in the face of being corrected by Peter, of all people. “That was different groundwork. _This_ groundwork is all part of my new master plan.”

“Which is…?” James asked. The four of them grabbed their cloaks, slinging them over their arms, and began the journey out of the Gryffindor tower.

“As you know,” Sirius began. “My new plan is built on friendship. Get close to her, gain her trust, infiltrate her walls — that sort of thing. Once I’m in, I _strike_.”

“Right,” Remus drawled, less than impressed with Sirius’ plan, which sounded an awful lot like his last plan, which — shocker — didn’t work. “And you _strike_ tonight, then?”

“Actually no,” Sirius said, sounding uncharacteristically pragmatic. “Up until now, I’ve been showing her what a great friend I can be. I’ve been nice, I’ve been funny, and I haven’t even hinted at wanting anything more than to get to know her. She sees me as a friend, and she’s comfortable. But tonight…under the snow, surrounded by glittering lights, the music softly playing…she’ll finally see me as a viable, romantic option.”

“Because calculating an entire scheme is romantic,” Remus muttered to a sniggering James.

“She’ll probably even be expecting me to make my move tonight. ,” Sirius continued, oblivious to his tittering roommates. “And that is exactly why I _won’t._ I’ll be a gentleman, I’ll be charming, I’ll be everything she wants me to be. And then…I simply carry on with our originally planned friendship.”

“But how will that get her to agree to a date with you?” Peter asked, perplexed by Sirius’ plan.

“You see, Wormtail,” Sirius explained. “Once she’s utterly charmed, she’ll be practically _begging_ me to ask her out. And I, being the kind gentleman, will oblige her. And when I do, she won’t be able to resist.”

“I can feel it, boys,” he continued as they descended the stairs that led to the Great Hall. “By the end of the night, she’ll be mine. Oh, she has no idea how much danger she’s in.” He shot a smirk over his shoulder. “In danger of falling madly in love with me, that is.”

As he chuckled arrogantly to himself, he turned the corner leading to the Great Hall, and his eyes locked in on a purple figure at the end of the corridor. In an instant, he froze, all hint of arrogance falling away.

There she stood, glowing as bright as the full moon, her eyes twinkling as she laughed at her companion’s comment. Sirius’ breath hitched in his chest as he watched the corner her eyes crinkle in amusement, and his fingers tingled with nerves at the thought of those eyes falling on him. Not one moment ago, he had it all planned — what he would say, when he would say it, how he would ask her to dance, all of the little hints he would drop that he was the perfect date. But seeing her now, his mind was blank, his limbs were weak, his mouth was dry, and all semblance of a plan faded from his mind.

Behind him, Remus noticed Sirius’ reaction — or lack thereof — and followed his line of sight, curious as to what had made his normally confident friend freeze like this. When he spotted her, he smirked.

“You sure you aren’t the one in danger, mate?” He whispered into Sirius’ ear, pulling the boy out of his dazed state.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Sirius said, clearly not even paying attention to the conversation. “Oh, hey, look. There’s Hughes. If you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, I’ll just go say hello.”

As he sauntered away in what he assumed was an easygoing way but appeared closer to that of a lumbering ogre, Remus shared a look with James. “What do you wanna bet he’s in love with that girl by the end of the year?”

James laughed. “I’d say by the end of the night.”

“You’re on,” Remus said, giving James a firm handshake.

On the other side of the corridor, Sarah and Anna stood together, chatting away and watching the other students mill about before the Great Hall officially opened. Gretchen had already abandoned them for her date, and Anna was eyeing them distastefully from the other side of the room.

“He better not hurt her,” she muttered darkly.

“Will you relax?” Sarah laughed. “Merlin, you’re like a broken record. He’s _nice_ and she _likes him_. Stop worrying about her for one night and enjoy yourself, would you?”

“All right, all right,” Anna rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. “I just don’t want her to get mixed up with the wrong people.”

“I know,” Sarah said softly. “But she’s a smart girl. She knows how to take care of herself.Besides, it’s Zacharias. It’s not like he’s some random arsehole.”

“Speaking of arseholes,” Anna muttered, her eyes shifting to a spot over Sarah’s shoulder. Sarah frowned and followed her gaze only to come face to face with a rather dapper-looking Sirius Black.

“Why, hello ladies,” Sirius greeted them both, though his eyes never left Sarah’s face. Anna rolled her eyes and mentally checked out of the conversation, knowing full-well who Sirius was interested in talking to.

“Sirius,” Sarah smiled, glancing over his dress robes. “You clean up well.”

Sirius let out a sardonic laugh. “This is casual attire in the Black household.” He paused, giving her a scrutinising look. “We’re still just friends, right?”

Sarah frowned in confusion. “Erm…yes?”

He let out a soft hum as his eyes slowly ran up and down her form. “Shame.” Sarah let out a startled laugh, unsure whether she should feel flattered or offended. At that moment, Remus, Peter, and James joined them.

“Uh oh,” Remus said. “Sarah looks annoyed. What did you do?”

“Why do you automatically assume that I did something?” Sirius asked with an insulted pout.

“Because you always do something,” Remus with a fond smile, ruffling a hand through Sirius’ hair.

“Oh, look,” Anna perked up, while Sirius irritatedly smoothed his hair back down. “Lily’s here.”

“Evans?” James asked, his eyes quickly scanning the corridor. When he spotted her, he stilled, looking as though the breath had been knocked from his lungs.

Lily made her way down the main staircase, flanked by Mary and Dorcas, and looked every bit the Queen that James thought she was. Her hair fell around her face like flames of fire, flicking out and licking at the air, and she wore a deep green, chiffon dress, topped with a lacy fabric that crept over her shoulders and down her arms.

“Holy shit,” Anna whispered from beside Sarah. “She’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah,” James whispered in response, his eyes locked on hers. She might not have been his girlfriend or his date, and she was barely even his friend, but he couldn’t help the proud admiration he felt at how beautiful she was.

“Hello,” Lily said when she finally reached the group. Her smile faltered slightly at the look on James’ face. “Potter.”

“Evans,” James said, a dopey grin on his face. “You know, normally, I’d be opposed to you wearing Slytherin’s colours. But you certainly do it justice.”

Lily’s trepidation turned to annoyance, and she simply rolled her eyes, not bothering to dignify his comment with a response.

“Come on, James,” Remus said, smirking at his lovestruck friend before leading him and the rest of the boys into the now-open Great Hall.

As he tripped over himself to follow after Remus, still trying to keep his eyes on the redhead before him, Lily sighed and turned to Anna and Sarah. “Is Gretchen here?”

“She’s already off with _Zacharias,_ ” Anna said with a hint of bitterness.

“Ah, so I guess we won’t be seeing her tonight,” Lily laughed.

“Probably not,” Sarah chuckled.

Joining the herd of students, Sarah and the rest of the girls made their way into the Great Hall, marvelling at how they’d transformed the room. Immediately, Anna made a beeline for one of the tables and quickly began filling her plate with food. Sarah and Lily shared a look before following after her, as Dorcas and Mary trailed along behind them, giggling away and eyeing the other dateless partygoers. After a short welcome speech from Dumbledore, the musicians picked up their instruments, and the Ball began.

Song after song, dance after dance, the Ball continued on well into the night, and Sarah couldn’t have been happier. One moment, she was milling about the snack table. The next, she was chatting away with her friends at their table, watching the couples dance across the Great Hall. When she was tired of sitting, she joined the dancers, jumping across the dance floor with Lily and singing loudly to the music. She even had a slow dance or two with a few of her classmates. While none of them could be counted as romantic, they were definitely sweet enough to be remembered for quite some time.

After an hour, Sarah lost Dorcas and Mary, presumably to a couple of handsome partygoers. An hour after that, she lost Anna. And, not long after, Lily. Part of her was worried about where Anna could have wandered off too. After all, she had been quite nervous about going to the dance. But she was a smart girl. She wouldn’t have left without a reason, and Sarah vaguely wondered if perhaps that reason could be a boy.

As the night continued on, Sarah found herself sitting alone near a window in the back of the Great Hall, gazing out at the night sky. Though she’d lost her companions for the evening, it was, without a doubt, the best Winter Ball she’d attended thus far. It’s not like there was strong competition, though — her first Ball had ended in tears over Sirius’ words, and the next had ended in a rather large argument with Greg that had resulted in their eventual breakup.

No, this Ball was almost perfect. No drama, no tears, no hurtful words. Just food, music, and good friends. Although, there was one thing missing that would have transformed the wonderful evening into a positively magical one…

“Someone looks pensive,” a familiar voice came from behind, and Sarah turned with a smile. “Are you enjoying your night?”

“I am,” she said as Sirius sat down next to her. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I am. But I lost James a little bit ago. Remus, too. And Peter’s off with whatshername.”

“Aw, a lost Marauder, all by himself,” she teased. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep you company. My dates all disappeared a while ago, too.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were asking _me_ to be your date,” he said with a cheeky grin.

“Luckily, you do know better,” she said with an unimpressed glare.

He chuckled lightly, and his grin dropped to a soft smile as he looked at her. “You really do look stunning tonight.”

Sarah smiled, giving her dress a quick glance and self-consciously running a hand over her hair. “Thanks. That’s much nicer than what you said last time.”

Sirius let out an embarrassed laugh. “Well, I don’t have a jealous date to try to reassure this time.”

“Fortunately for me,” she laughed.

“And me,” he said with a sly grin. “Because now I’m free to ask you to dance.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “How very subtle.”

“Well, you did promise to save me a dance,” he remarked. “And now’s a good a time as any.”

“Oh, go on, then,” she said, standing from her seat and making a half-hearted attempt to look resigned to her fate. Part of her didn’t want to dance with him and give him the wrong idea; they were only friends, and there was no way she was going to change her mind. But the music was quite upbeat, and it would be difficult to have any sort of romantic moment with such a song.

Sirius stood, holding out his hand for her to take. “My lady,” he grinned with a slight bow. Hand-in-hand, they made their way over to the crowd of dancing students.

The moment their feet hit the dance floor, however, the music was reduced to an impossibly slow tempo, and Sarah’s eyes darted to Sirius. Her gut told her he had something to do with the sudden change in song, but, surely, even he was not so skilled in the art of mischief to have pulled it off. At his overly-innocent smile, she shook her head and sighed, figuring that she didn’t want to know what he’d done.

Sirius led her to the middle of the dance floor, where they were surrounded by couples. With one hand still interlaced with hers, he placed the other on the small of her back, pulling her close, and she felt her heart speed up at their proximity.

 _Relax_ , she thought, raising her hand to rest on his shoulder. _It’s just a friendly dance._

“You’re a better dancer than I thought you’d be,” Sirius remarked, glancing down at her feet.

“I’m not sure if I should be offended by that,” she said, fighting a smile.

“Well, last time I saw you, you were…how did I put it?” Sirius glanced up at the ceiling, as though trying to remember. “Dancing like a misshapen toad.” He laughed as she blushed slightly at the memory. “I’m kidding. You never looked like a toad. And you certainly don’t now.”

Sarah rolled her eyes but smiled all the same. “Thanks.”

As the two of them swayed back and forth to the soft music, she found herself trapped in his gaze, and she was struck by just how handsome he really was. The grey eyes, the dark hair, the absolute openness of his smile — she’d noticed it all before. But being so close to him took it all to a new level. A more intimate one. And she was surprised to find that she found their closeness natural. The usual awkwardness that came with slow dances, not knowing where to look, the constant feeling of needing to speak — none of it was there. Here and now, it felt…right, being this close to Sirius, and the silence was comfortable, even _comforting._

As they stared at one another, soft smiles playing at their lips, he untangled his hand from hers and tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering over his cheek for just a moment. She blushed at the gesture, and her heart fluttered at his touch.

Then, her stomach dropped at the realisation.

No, no, no. She was _not_ getting fluttery at his touch. They were _friends._ And friends do not _flutter._

She swallowed hard and cleared her throat, willing the fluttering to disappear. In an attempt to break whatever moment they’d just had, she tried striking up a conversation. “So, are you going home for the holidays?”

Sirius grimaced, completely unfazed, and she wondered if he’d even felt it. “Yeah, because I’d rather spend two weeks in the bleakest place in the world with the worst people in the world than stay here with my real family.” He laughed, trying to pass his words off as a joke, but Sarah couldn’t help but notice the bitter edge to his voice.

“Surely, they can’t be that bad,” she said softly.

“Says the girl who’s never met them,” Sirius said. “And don’t call me Shirley.”

Sarah chuckled at his joke and dropped the subject, opting to switch to something lighter. “Are the others staying here, too, then?”

“James and Remus are,” he said. “But Peter’s going home. His mum’s a bit…fussy about him being away for too long.”

“My mum’s the same,” Sarah said with a sigh. “I tried to stay here over the holidays in second year, and she actually wrote a letter to Dumbledore. Said she’d sue him if he didn’t personally put me on the train.”

“What?” He laughed. “Okay, I take it back; your mum is way worse than Pete’s.”

As the two of them laughed, Sarah felt herself relax, happy to be back to their normal banter. Perhaps she’d just imagined the fluttering. Perhaps there was no moment, and she was just reading into things. Yes, that must be it. They were friends; there was nothing more to it.

As their laughter died down, Sirius glanced behind Sarah at the other couples, and his eyes suddenly went wide with shock. “Merlin’s left tit,” he breathed.

“What?” Sarah frowned, turning her head slightly. Sirius turned them in their dance so that Sarah could see what had shocked him so, and her own eyes went wide as she spotted it.

On the other side of the room was James Potter dancing with none other than Lily Evans. What’s more, she actually seemed to be _enjoying_ herself. Sarah had always assumed that James would have to force the girl with ropes and curses to ever get her to dance with him. But, instead of struggling to get away, she seemed almost comfortable in his arms as the two of them chatted away, smiling and spinning around in slow circles to the music.

“Holy shit,” Sarah whispered, looking back to Sirius with an excited grin. “They’re actually dancing!”

Sirius spun her once more to get another look at the pair. “I can’t believe he actually got her to say yes. I expect he’ll have to change his pants after this.”

Sarah watched as Sirius eyed the couple with a thoughtful smile. He always seemed to rag on James for chasing after Lily so vehemently, but he appeared genuinely happy for them now, and Sarah found herself smiling at the sight. Suddenly, he shifted his gaze to her, and she blushed at having been caught watching him. She cleared her throat, and Sirius smirked, apparently amused by her embarrassment.

She was grateful, then, when a flurry of excitement caught her attention. Her gratitude was short-lived, however, when that excitement was Dorcas, Professor McGonagall, and Hagrid rushing into the room, their faces set in panicked grimaces. Sarah frowned, her movements stilling, and Sirius looked at her in confusion, not yet realising what was happening, before following her gaze. The two of them watched as Hagrid and McGonagall hurried over to Dumbledore, their hushed conversation charged with urgency.

“What do you think’s happening?” Sarah asked, not expecting an answer.

“I don’t know,” Sirius said, turning his attention to a tearful Dorcas. She stood next to James and Lily, speaking animatedly. As she spoke, Lily’s eyes grew wide, her breathing quickened, and she grabbed James’ hand, giving him an utterly fearful look.

“Something’s wrong,” Sirius mumbled, grabbing Sarah by the hand and pulling her across the dance floor toward the group of Gryffindors.

“What’s going on?” He asked, looking from person to person.

“Mary’s been attacked,” Lily said quietly.

“What?” Sarah gasped, and she felt Sirius’ hand squeeze her own. “What do you mean she’s been attacked?”

Dorcas whimpered before answering. “She went off with Mulciber, and he attacked her. She’s in the hospital wing now,” was all she got out before succumbing to the tears. Lily pulled her into a hug, whispering soothing words as her own tears threatened to burst forth.

At that moment Dumbledore stood at the front of the room, silencing the orchestra and drawing everyone’s attention.

“It has been a most wonderful evening, and I sincerely hope you’ve all enjoyed yourself. However, we will be ending the Winter Ball a little early this year,” he said, calm as ever. As the Great Hall erupted in groans and whispers from those who hadn’t yet noticed the commotion, Dumbledore continued on. “All students will return to their dormitories immediately. Prefects will ensure that everyone is present and accounted for. Your Heads of House will come by shortly to speak with you all.”

As the Heads of House and prefects began rounding up the students, Sarah glanced around, realising that she had no idea where Gretchen and Anna were. In a panic, she craned her neck, trying to spot them in the crowd of students. On the other side of the dance floor, she spotted Gretchen being led toward the door by Zacharias, and she felt relief wash over her at the realisation that she was safe. As she continued to scan the room, that relief quickly dissipated.

“Where’s Anna?” She asked, trying to remain calm but feeling the anxiety bubble up within her at her friend’s continued absence.

“I’m here,” a familiar voice came from behind her. Sarah whirled around and spotted Anna along with Remus, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she rushed to hug her friend.

“Thank goodness you’re all right,” Sarah breathed before pulling away from the embrace. “Where have you been? You disappeared ages ago.”

“Oh,” Anna muttered, her face flushing red and her eyes shifting in every which direction to avoid meeting Sarah’s prying gaze. “I bumped into Remus, and we just got to talking.”

Sarah shifted her gaze to Remus, who was also studiously avoiding eye contact, and she narrowed her eyes at them. Clearly, something had happened, and she made a mental note to ask Anna about it later. But now wasn’t the time.

“Well, as long as you’re okay,” she said, giving Anna a squeeze on the shoulder. “Come on, we need to get back to the common room.”

“Any idea why Dumbledore ended the Ball early?” Anna asked, glancing around quizzically at the mildly distressed Professors.

Sarah pulled Anna close and whispered in her ear. “Mary’s been attacked.”

“What?” Anna gasped. “What happened?”

“Ladies,” James chimed in, his arm wrapped protectively around Lily’s shoulders. “I hate to break up the conversation, but we should get going. Sirius, Remus, you want to walk them back to their common room? I’ll take Lily and Dorcas.”

“Sounds good,” Sirius said before turning to Sarah and Anna. “Let’s go.”

“You don’t have to walk us,” Sarah shook her head. “We’ll be fine. We’re not that far, anyway.”

“Sarah,” Remus said quietly. “A muggleborn was just attacked. We’re not actually going to let you two go off on your own.”

“We don’t know that’s why she was attacked,” Sarah said. Although, if she was being honest with herself, she shared in Remus’ concerns.

“Even if that’s not why,” Sirius said, all hint of his regular mischief gone. “Just let us walk you back. If not for your sake, then for ours. We wouldn’t be able to forgive ourselves if anything happened to you. To either of you.”

Sarah shared a look with Anna. In any other situation, she would have been already eight-arguments deep in a rant about how she didn’t need protecting. But, tonight, she was quiet and appeared to welcome the idea of an escort back to the common room.

“Okay,” Sarah said quietly, giving Sirius what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Let’s go.”

Slowly, the group followed the remainder of the students out into the hallway. After giving a tearful Lily and Dorcas reassuring hugs, Sarah and Anna, along with their escorts, broke off from the group and made their way down to the Hufflepuff common room. The journey was quiet, sombre, as each of them was lost in their own thoughts, and they made quick work of getting to the small collection of barrels.

Before letting her go through, Remus grabbed Anna by the arm and tugged her to the side, and the two began quietly whispering, their heads tucked close. Before Sarah had a chance to even wonder what that was about, Sirius cleared his throat, drawing her attention back to him.

“So,” he began clumsily. “I had a really nice time with you tonight. Well, up until that last bit, anyway.”

Sarah smiled up at him. “Me, too.”

“We should really do this again sometime.”

She couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped her lips. “You know this wasn’t a date, right?” She asked with a smirk.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t still enjoy my time with you,” Sirius grinned. He looked down at his feet briefly before asking, “Will I see you before you leave for holidays?”

“I’ll be at breakfast,” Sarah nodded. “But the train leaves just after that.”

“Well,” Sirius said with a hint of formality. “I’ll just have to make sure to see you off at breakfast, then.” He took her hand in his and brought it up to his lips, planting a soft kiss to the back of it, his eyes never leaving hers. She felt her stomach tighten and mentally berated herself for the fluttering that was definitely not happening.

“Have a good night, Sarah,” he said quietly, leaning back up and releasing her hand, a small smile at his lips.

“Goodnight, Sirius,” she said, almost dazed. He took a couple of steps backwards, his eyes never leaving hers, before turning around and patting Remus on the shoulder. With his friend in tow, the two of them made their way back up to the Gryffindor tower. Before fully leaving the hallway, he turned once more, giving Sarah a wink over his shoulder.

Anna came to stand beside Sarah and waggled her eyebrows at her. “You and Sirius, huh?”

Sarah shook her head, snapping out of her daze before giving Anna her own waggle. “You and Remus, huh?”

Anna’s smile dropped immediately. “We should really go inside,” she muttered, already ducking into the barrel.

Sarah rolled her eyes at Anna’s evasiveness before following her into the common room, closing the door behind her. The two girls avoided any and all conversation in the common room and sidestepped all of the chattering students as they made their way up to their dorm, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep. Unfortunately for them, Gretchen rounded on them as soon as they opened the door.

“What did Dorcas say?” She asked. “I saw her crying, and people are saying something happened to Mary. Is she okay? What happened?”

“Mulciber attacked her,” Sarah said quietly, kicking off her shoes and heaving a tired sigh as she sat on her bed.

“Is she okay?” Gretchen gasped.

“She’s in the hospital wing,” Sarah said. “But that’s about all we know. Dorcas was…pretty upset about it, so we didn’t get much out of her. We don’t know what he did, or if there were others with him, or even why he did it.”

“It’s pretty clear why he did it,” Anna murmured darkly. “Because Mary’s a muggleborn, and he’s an arsehole.”

“We don’t know that’s why,” Sarah insisted, trying to be rational. But, deep down, she knew the truth. Mulciber was one of _those_ purebloods. The type that wanted muggles and muggleborns erased from the Earth. It couldn’t just be a coincidence that someone with those views had been the one to attack Mary. She hadn’t done anything to warrant any kind of retribution, so it was clear that this attack had nothing to do with revenge and everything to do with her simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong blood status.

“They better expel his arse,” Gretchen said.

“His dad’s a Governor. Of course, they’re not going to expel him,” Anna said, a bitter edge to her tone. “Most we can hope for is a slap on the wrist.”

After a long moment of silence, Gretchen spoke up again, eager to diffuse the tension. “Well, what a terrible end to an otherwise very romantic evening,” she said, smiling at Sarah.

“Oh, yeah,” Sarah perked up slightly. “I saw you and Zacharias. How did that go?”

Gretchen rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t talking about _my_ evening.”

“What were you talking about, then?” Sarah frowned.

“We saw you with Sirius,” Anna said, quieter than normal but still giving her friend her usual teasing look.

“We had one dance,” Sarah groaned, trying to brush it all away. It was true, after all. It was only one dance, and nothing more had happened. But that knot in her stomach tightened once again at the thought of his hand on the small of her back, and she tried her damnedest to push it aside.

“A romantic dance,” Anna giggled.

“Oh, don’t you start, Miss I’m-Going-To-Disappear-With-Remus-Lupin-For-The-Whole-Evening,” Sarah snapped, her tone disapproving but her eyes alight with mischief.

“I’m sorry,” Gretchen said, turning her wide eyes to look at Anna in shock. “You and _Lupin_?”

Sarah grinned as Anna glowered at her, happy that her comment had diverted their attention elsewhere, if only for the moment. “We were just hanging out,” Anna muttered, avoiding their questioning eyes.

“All alone?” Sarah laughed. “For the whole evening? Lily and I looked everywhere, and you just disappeared. Where did you even go?”

“We just went for a walk,” she said, raising her chin defiantly.

“Like I believe that,” Gretchen mumbled.

Sarah and Gretchen asked question after question, but to no avail. When it became clear that their onslaught would yield no more information from Anna, the girls finally let it go, silently agreeing to return to the topic later on. For the remainder of the evening, the girls chatted away quietly, talking about the various highlights of their evenings and studiously avoiding the obvious topic of Mary, until they finally fell asleep in the wee hours.

***

The next morning, the three girls made their way slowly down to the Great Hall. Whatever levity they felt the night before had vanished and was replaced by a repressive tension that seemed to cover the entirety of the school like a thick quilt. Apparently, word of Mary’s attack had gotten around, and it was all anyone seemed to be able to talk about.

“Come on,” Sarah said as they stepped into the Great Hall, trying to ignore the whispers that slithered about the room. “Let’s go talk to Lily. Make sure Mary’s okay.”

As they approached the Gryffindor table, Lily sent them a small smile. “Hey,” she greeted softly.

“Hey,” Anna said. “Mind if we sit here today?” Taking Lily’s nod toward the empty seats as approval, the three Hufflepuffs sat down and began loading their plates.

After sharing a brief look with Anna, Sarah turned to Lily. “How’s Mary?”

“She’s okay,” Lily said with a nod, but the heavy, black bags under her eyes told them that she’d spent the better part of the night fretting. Beside her, Dorcas rubbed a comforting hand up and down her back. “She spent the night in the Hospital Wing, and Madam Pomfrey fixed her up. Her mum came this morning and took her home early.”

“So,” Gretchen dropped her voice to a whisper, glancing around and leaning close. “What happened?”

Lily sighed, and the weight of her exhaustion was clear in the sagging of her shoulders. “I guess Mulciber asked her to go for a walk with him. Said he just wanted to get to know her a bit better. Then, when they were alone, he started ranting about _cleansing the wizarding community_ and cast Flagrante on her dress.”

“What’s that?” Anna asked in alarm.

“It causes the object it’s cast on to burn you whenever you touch it,” Dorcas glowered. “So casting it on her dress…”

“Her whole body was covered in burns,” Lily finished for her.

“That’s horrible,” Sarah whispered in horror. She glanced over at the Slytherin table and noticed that Mulciber, as well as three other boys, were missing. 

“Someone’s got to do something about this,” Anna said heatedly. “Their lot, they attack muggles, and the Ministry turns a blind eye because that’s not _official ministry business_. But now they’re attacking muggleborn witches — in a school, no less.”

“What can we do?” Dorcas asked. “I mean, if the ministry isn’t going to do anything, what can a bunch of fifth years do?”

“We can kick their arses,” Anna said. “If any of them even _say_ anything, we blast them. Show them not to mess with the Siblinghood of the Red Shadow.”

Sarah charitably turned her snort into a cough. “Right, so that’s still a thing, then?”

“Of course, it’s a thing,” Anna said earnestly. “You heard Potter. We stalk the night, reigning over the school and destroying our enemies. Well, now’s a good a time as any to start reigning.”

There was a pause, as the girls looked to one another, before they all broke into laughter at Anna’s ridiculousness. The rest of the breakfast was, thankfully, lighter than before, as the girls chatted away about their plans for the holidays. In no time at all, it was time to grab their things and head for the train to go home.

Leaving the Great Hall, Sarah glanced around the room, searching for the familiar mop of black hair. Sirius had said that he would see her off at breakfast, and she was quite surprised that he was nowhere to be seen. He usually jumped at the chance to speak to her.

She was even more surprised by the disappointment she felt at not being able to say goodbye. It was only a couple of weeks, and they hadn’t even been friends long enough to miss his absence. So, surely, not saying goodbye shouldn’t be such a big deal. But, as she made her way from the Great Hall to her dorm, and then back to the main entrance, she felt her stomach drop lower and lower at the thought of not being able to see him for two whole weeks.

Spotting Lily up ahead, she shook the thoughts away and made her way up to her friend, trunk in hand.

“Hey,” she said with a smile.

“Hi,” Lily said quietly, her own smile not quite reaching her eyes.

“You still upset about Mary?” Sarah asked.

Lily sighed. “Well, yes. But…I just had a bit of a row with Severus.”

“Severus?” Sarah asked, confused. “He wasn’t involved was he?”

“He says he wasn’t,” Lily said, the doubt evident in her voice. “But when I told him what happened, he just laughed. Said it was a harmless prank. Can you believe that? Burning her entire body hardly counts as a harmless prank.”

“He laughed?” Sarah asked, shocked. “That’s…really fucked up. I didn’t expect that from him.”

Severus was a bit odd and even a little mean, true. But he was never _cruel_. Not that Sarah had seen, anyway. Ever since she’d become friends with Lily, she’d spent a good deal of time with Severus, and he’d never been anything but perfectly tolerable. But, then again, she’d never had a proper conversation with the boy. Who’s to say he _wasn’t_ cruel enough to laugh at Mary’s misfortune?

“He didn’t use to be so bad,” Lily continued with a helpless groan of frustration. “I mean, he’s never liked muggles very much, but never said anything to make me think he’d want to hurt them. But ever since the start of the year, he’s been hanging out more with those wannabe Death Eaters, and he’s…different. More bigoted, more interested in the dark arts. Sometimes, he almost seems…” Her voice trailed off, and it seemed as though she couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought.

Sarah was quiet for a moment before tentatively asking, “You don’t think he would join the Death Eaters, do you?”

Lily was silent for a long while. “I don’t know. I didn’t use to think so. But…I feel like I barely know him anymore.”

Sarah watched Lily out of the corner of her eye, frowning as Lily chewed on her bottom lip in worried thought. “Hey,” she spoke up. “I’m sure it’ll all be fine. He was just being a jerk. Boys can be like that. But it’s _Severus._ He’d never actually join them, no matter how interested he is in the dark arts. You two have been friends for ages. He wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Yeah,” Lily said with a soft smile. “You’re right. But I’m still angry with him for laughing.”

“And you should be,” Sarah nodded. “It was a dick move. But don’t worry about it for now. It’s Christmas! How can you stay upset when there’s presents and pudding and turkey waiting for you?”

Lily laughed. “You’re right. Now’s not the time to worry about this. But I’ll definitely be having a talk with him once we get back.”

As the two of them joined the crowd of students going home for the holidays, Sarah glanced back at the entrance of the castle, subtly hoping to see someone waving back to her. She sighed in disappointment when there was no one, and she and Lily made their way down to the Hogwarts Express Platform. Slowly, the crowd of students boarded the train, chattering away animatedly about their holiday plans. Just as Sarah was about to climb the steps, she heard a shout from behind.

“Hughes!”

She turned at the sound and felt her heart skip a beat, her face lighting up with a smile at the sight of Sirius running down the path toward the train. She stepped away from the stairs, telling Lily to save her a seat, and moved toward the back of the thinning crowd to meet Sirius.

“Hey,” she smiled.

“Hey,” he heaved, trying to catch his breath from running. “I can’t believe you were going to leave without saying goodbye!”

“You’re the one who didn’t show up at breakfast,” she teased, crossing her arms in mock-disapproval. “I even sat at your table to make it easier for you.”

“You did?” He asked, his eyes wide. “Shit, and I missed it! Sorry, I meant to be there. But I had some…matters to attend to this morning and couldn’t make it.”

“Matters?” She asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. “That sounds ominous. You didn’t murder anyone, did you?”

He laughed. “No, no, nothing like that. Just family stuff. Mummy dearest sent Reg a letter to try getting me to come home, and it was a whole thing. I’m just sorry I wasn’t at breakfast to say goodbye.”

“It’s fine. You’re here now,” Sarah said, cringing slightly at her choice of words. Merlin, did she have to sound like a cliché romance heroine all the damn time?

If he noticed how hammy her words sounded, he didn’t comment. “How are you feeling?” He asked. “You know, after everything that happened last night.”

“I’m okay,” she said with a small smile. “Mary seems to be fine, so I’m less worried about her.”

“Yeah, I heard she went home this morning,” Sirius nodded. After a moment of silence, he continued, his voice soft. “But I really did have a nice time with you last night.”

Sarah’s smile grew. “Yeah…me, too.”

“It’s a shame all of that nonsense cut the night short. We’ll really have to have a redo.”

She cocked her head to the side. “A redo?”

“You know, try it again. But with less attacking and more dancing.”

She pursed her lips in an attempt to keep the smile from them. “This sound suspiciously like you’re asking me for a date.”

“No, no, not a date,” he assured her. “Just two friends hanging out. Dancing. Eating. Chatting. Maybe even…holding hands. But, you know, in a _friendly_ way.”

“Right,” Sarah said with a breathy laugh. “Why don’t you ask me when we get back, and we’ll see.”

Sirius’ eyes opened wide, and he looked like Christmas had come a day early. “Really?”

“But _just_ as friends,” Sarah insisted.

“Of course, of course,” Sirius grinned. At that moment, the train whistle blew, signalling for the last students to get on board. “Well, you should get going. I wouldn’t want your mum to sue Dumbledore for missing the train.”

Leaning forward, he wrapped her in a quick hug, lingering just long enough for the fluttering to return.

“Write to me, yeah?” He asked, seemingly oblivious to the dopey grin that had made its way to her face.

Sarah’s smile dropped slightly as she rolled her eyes. “It’ll only be a couple of weeks. I know I’m amazing, but I’m sure you can go that long without my company.”

Sirius laughed. “You underestimate my resistance to your charming ways. Just write. Please.”

Sarah stared at him for a moment before nodded. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“That’s good enough for me,” Sirius grinned.

Turning away, Sarah grabbed her trunk and boarded the train. With a final smile over her shoulder, the door shut, and the train left, leaving Sirius alone on the platform.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello all! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> This will be the last chapter for a little while. I have some personal projects to take care of, and I need to take a bit of a hiatus from this. But don’t worry — I have every intention of finishing this story! Everything’s outlined, and some of the later chapters are already written. I just need some time to take care of some things IRL. I hope you understand, and I hope I’ll see you in a couple of months! xx theangrypeanut


	12. Season's Greetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays! This chapter is a little different. There's nothing plot-related that happens, so it's just a fun thing I wanted to put out for the holidays. Hope you like it! 
> 
> Also, my little hiatus is over for now, so I'll be back in the new year with more chapters!

**21 December, 21:00**

_Dearest Bandit,_

_I know, I know. I’m pathetic. Couldn’t even make it a day without talking to you. Just wanted to remind you of my existence, and let you know how dim the castle feels without your radiant smile. Hope you had a good train ride. Say hi to your mum for me!_

_Warmest regards,_

_The dashing Sirius Black_

_P.S._

_You better write back!_

_***_

**22 December, 10:30**

_Sirius,_

_Sorry I didn’t write back last night. The owl looked a bit peckish, so I gave him the night off._

_So, what are your plans for the holidays? Do the infamous Marauders cause mischief when Mr Wormtail isn’t around? Or is he secretly the brilliant mastermind behind your notorious pranks? If so, I can only assume you’ll be good little boys in his absence, much to McGonagall’s delight._

_Mum says hello. And she asked if you’d like us to send you some cookies. Normally, I would say please don’t indulge her (she has a terrible baking problem, and dad and I are seriously considering holding an intervention). But her cookies are to DIE for, so I recommend you say yes._

_Hope all is well there. Try not to burn the school down while I’m gone!_

_Best,_

_Sarah_

***

**22 December, 14:00**

_Sarah,_

_How thoughtful of you to consider the wellbeing of my dear Solaris! I always knew you were nice. Although, you left me hanging for an entire evening, so you aren’t_ that _nice._

_You’ve cracked the Marauder code. Pete is, in fact, the evil genius that fuels our entire dynamic. I suspect we will spend our holidays playing chess, singing carols with Hagrid, and staying up on Christmas Eve to catch Father Christmas in the act. Of course, Snivelly is here, too, so we just might pay him a little visit._

_And what are your plans, dear Hughes? I’ve only just realised that I know next to nothing about Muggle Christmases. What do you do, exactly? Carols? Sleighing? Do you even have crackers?_

_As lovely as cookies sound, I’m more interested in the fact that your mum knows enough about me to ask if I_ want _some. Been talking about me, eh? That’s quite encouraging. Though I can only guess as to what you’ve told her about me, which is decidedly less encouraging the more I think about it. And I would like to formally apologise once more for all of the hell I’ve put you through._

_And on that note, yes, I would like some cookies, please!_

_As always, your humble servant,_

_Sirius Black_

_P.S._

_What, no P.S.? Am I not good enough for a P.S.? I am shocked. Offended. Outraged! I expected more from you, Hughes._

***

**22 December, 22:00**

_Mr Black,_

_Solaris? Is that a family name? You Blacks and your celestial references._

_I love the image of you, Remus, and James sitting behind the couch, trying to outsmart old Saint Nick. I do hope you’ll be wearing footy pyjamas, otherwise the scene just wouldn’t be complete!_

_While we’re on the subject, you leave Severus alone. That boy has done nothing to you, and you lot are always hounding him! Give him a break, at least for the holidays. You can go back to tormenting him once school’s started up again, but leave him be for now, will you!_

_Anyway, no big plans for hols. Mum spent the day fussing over how skinny I’ve gotten and gushing about“are they even feeding you at that school?” So, expect to see a decidedly chubby Sarah upon my return. And tomorrow, I’m going to see my primary school friends and do some shopping. You know, just general holiday things._

_To answer your question, yes, we have carols and sleighing and crackers. I’m pretty sure crackers were a Muggle invention, actually. Only difference between Wizarding and Muggle Christmas is the lack of magic. Everything else is the same._

_I hope your head hasn’t swollen too much, because I’ve told my mum next to nothing about you. Just that you’re annoying and persistent and a troublemaker._

_Cookies will be arriving soon._

_Sincerely,_

_Sarah_

_P.S._

_I don’t approve of P.S.s. I’m a firm believer in adding what you want to say in your actual letter, not after you’ve signed off. Come on, Black, try to plan ahead next time._

***

**23 December, 3:00**

_Most beautiful Puff in the world,_

_Yes, Solaris is a family name. Well, sort of. His full name is Solaris the 15_ _ th _ _, i.e. Solaris the Conquerer. Comes from a long line of Conquerers and Destroyers and Defeaters and all that._

 _Footy pyjamas? What, do you think I’m an idiot? Of_ course _we’ll be wearing footies! Mrs Potter actually got us all matching sets last year for Christmas. Remus has chetah spots, James is black like a panther, Peter is a white leopard with black spots (looks more like a cow, though…don’t tell him I said that), and I’ve got tiger stripes. We only wear them on special occasions, or after Quidditch matches (Gryffindor parties are epic, and the footies only increase their amazingness), or after exams, or when it’s cold…okay, we wear them all the time._

_Siiiiigh. If I must leave the little twerp alone, I’ll do it. But only because you asked so nicely. But don’t expect me to keep up the nice act after holidays! I have a full schedule to keep up with, and these two weeks will severely set me back. If I’m going to take a break now, I’ll have to step it up a notch if I wanna get through all my plans for the smarmy git by the end of the year._

_If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you’re too skinny. In fact, I look forward to pinching your newly-chubby cheeks! But really. I think you look just fine as you are. More than fine, actually._

_Tell your friends I say hello. And don’t forget to mention how dazzling my smile is when you inevitably insist that “he’s not my boyfriend!” (I may have overheard a few conversations between you and your roommates)_

_Now, I hate to disagree with you, Miss Hughes, but crackers were definitely a Wizarding invention. How else would they be able to explode?? Muggles just wouldn’t be able to pull it off without a bit of magic._

_In any case, I would love to experience a Muggle Christmas. Perhaps next year I can stop by your place? Unless you decide to go back to hating me for some strange reason, in which case I’ll have to settle for a permanently Muggle-less Christmas._

_And I RESENT BEING CALLED ANNOYING AND PERSISTENT AND TROUBLESOME. I am NONE OF THOSE THINGS, and you better tell your mum just how wonderful I am! After all, I think I’ve more than redeemed myself since our little stint of unfriendliness._

_I look forward to those cookies. Will they be chocolate chip, by any chance?_

_Later hosen, (get it??)_

_Sirius Black_

_P.S._

_But a letter without a P.S. is so formal. So cold. So…corporate. I much prefer a touch of the P.S. It adds a sense of… “Hey, I want to keep talking to you, but I don’t really have much else to say, so I want to add the P.S. in the hopes that you’ll realise that I like talking to you.” Know what I mean?_

***

**23 December, 18:30**

_SIRIUS WHATEVERYOURMIDDLENAMEIS BLACK,_

_WHO THE FUCK WRITES A LETTER AT 3 IN THE MORNING? I WAS SLEEPING, BOY!_

_Anyway, I just got home from seeing my friends. I was a bit sleepy throughout the whole day (wonder why) so I was a total bore, but it was nice to see them again. My best friend from childhood (Eva) was there, and she’s the funniest person in the whole world. You’d get on with her great. But more importantly, I finished my Christmas shopping! Now I can relax, knowing that the burden is taken care of._

_And before you ask, I did mention you, and they did ask if you were my boyfriend, and I did have to inform them that no, you aren’t. However, I’m more concerned with your apparent eavesdropping. Not stalking me again, I hope?_

_But back to that bird of yours, Solaris the 15_ _ th _ _, i.e. Solaris the Conquerer? I feel like there’s a story behind that. Do tell._

_As for the crackers, you do know about guns, right? And explosives? And bombs? And fireworks? I hate to inform you that these are all muggle inventions, my dear sir. It’s called physics, and no magic is required to control it. So if we can invent a gun, I’m pretty sure we can invent a Christmas cracker._

_And I have just informed my mother that you are, in fact,_ not _annoying or persistent or troublesome, but rather an intelligent, ambitious, and not-at-all conceited boy. She says you’re more than welcome to join us for Christmas next year. I second that._

_RE: your question about if the cookies will be chocolate chip, are there any other kind?_

_Cheers (I refuse to acknowledge that truly heinous sign off you subjected me to. Honestly, I can’t believe you would make me read that with my own two eyes),_

_Sarah_

_P.S._

_Yes, I think I get what you mean. But I stand by my earlier statement that P.S.’s just look dreadfully unorganised. Besides, if you really want to keep talking to someone, you don’t need to resort to gimmicks. You can just tell them, “Hey, I like talking to you, and I want to keep talking to you, even though I don’t have much to say.”_

_P.P.S._

_I think you look just fine, too._

***

**24 December, 10:00**

_Salutations, Madam Hughes,_

_I do hope this letter is reaching you at a more convenient hour of the day, and I sincerely apologise for my interruption of your beauty sleep. Not that you need it._

_I’m glad you had a nice time with your old pals. I’d love to meet them when I come for Christmas next year! But the big question is, what did you get me? I’m picturing…a puppy? Perhaps a little yellow lab? With an adorable pink nose! Oh, I do hope it’s a puppy! But it’s more than likely a book. Not that there’s anything wrong with books, mind you. But you’re just oh-so-predictable, Hughes._

_To answer your question, no, I’m not stalking you, and I resent your use of the S-word! I have never stalked you! And even if I have, is it a crime to want to hang around a truly beautiful and kind person such as yourself? Honestly, where’s your compassion???_

_As for Solaris, settle in for an epic tale of death, sadness, and ultimate triumph. When Reg and I were kids, mumsy got us a salamander to teach us “the value of responsibility.” Being Blacks, we named it Solaris, as (you’re spot on) our family has a strange obsession with space and stars and all that rubbish. Unfortunately, little Solaris disappeared after nary 3 months. Reg swears he locked the cage, and I swear I locked the cage, so naturally, we chalked it up to a wild beast, most likely a vampire, sneaking into our room at night and eating our beloved Solaris. A few months later, we got another salamander, named Solaris the second, and this time we watched him like hawks! Alas, 2 months later, Solaris the second was gone. For years, we attempted to keep salamanders, goldfish, mice, and eventually owls, and every one of them went missing. In honour of our dear Solaris the first, we named them all after him, often giving them surname of “The Great”, “The Invincible”, “The Definitely Will Not Get Eaten,” in the hopes that these great names would protect them. After all, you don’t want to fuck with someone called “The Impaler” (RIP Solaris the 7_ _ th _ _). But, still, the Solaris’ continued to disappear. Finally, I decided that enough was enough. When Solaris the 15_ _ th _ _came around, I decided to keep him at Hogwarts, well away from the evil pet-eating-vampire. And, voila, problem solved! Solaris the 15, i.e. Solaris the Conquerer, is alive and well today and living up to his name! So there you have it. Still no idea where those other beasties went. But I have a feeling Kreacher (our absolutely horrid house elf) stole them and ate them. He’s a wretched little thing, I wouldn’t put it past him._

_I would just like to point out that I do know what guns and explosives and bombs and fireworks are, thank you very much. I’m not completely uneducated. But I have to disagree with you, lovely Hughes. Crackers are most definitely a Wizarding invention. Sure, you can fit a bullet into a tube, but how could you possibly fit a full-sized BIRD into a cracker the size of my finger without magic?? It just can’t be done._

_Anyway, my hand is cramping. Too much story-telling! Happy Christmas Eve, Hughes. It doesn’t feel like Hogwarts without you here._

_Godspeed (you should always acknowledge my sign-offs. I put real effort into this! Would you prefer I keep them boring? Cordially? Sincerely?_ Cheers _?)_

_Sirius Black_

_P.S._

_Well, since we’re on the subject, I like talking to you, and I want to keep talking to you. But I will always have something to say._

_P.P.S._

_For the record, my middle name is Orion._

***

**24 December, 23:59**

_Dear Sirius Orion Black, (Orion? Really? You lot really are obsessed with your stars, aren’t you?)_

_Happy Nearly Christmas!_

_We just got back from my gran’s house, and I am completely exhausted. If you thought your family was messed up, you should really meet these people. Gran likes to sit in her chair and hurl backhanded compliments at people (she told my mum, “You would be so pretty if you just closed your mouth, you know.” Mum was PISSED. It was hilarious. But she’s always had a disliking to mum, even when she and dad started dating. Something about no one being good enough for her son, or some rubbish), gramps putters around the house telling dirty jokes and muttering about “immigrants”, my dad spends the evening trying to one-up his brothers (when they carve the turkey, he has to refill the wine glasses; when they offer to clean up, he has to offer to do the dishes. It’s a whole thing), mum tries to hide in the bathroom as much as possible, and my aunt and I just sit in the corner and watch it all while she tells me all of the family gossip (on a side note, Aunt Jen TOTALLY has a gambling problem). It’s all great fun, and you would really enjoy it, I think, but Merlin, if it doesn’t just suck the energy right out of you. Especially when gran starts in on the eggnog and starts asking me when I’m getting married, when I’m having kids, if I’m a lesbian (“I can’t think of any other reason why you wouldn’t have a boyfriend by now!”), etc. etc._

_But now I’m back home, and Solaris was waiting so patiently outside for me this whole time. Poor dear. I think I’ll put a heating pad out for him next time so he at least has some warmth!_

_By the way, that was an epic tale. Truly one for the books. But I can’t help but worry about this Kreacher bloke. He’s not going to eat_ you, _is he? I hope not. I have a feeling you wouldn’t taste very good._

 _But on a side note, yes, you totally stalked me. Don’t worry, though. I forgive you. And you’re right, it’s not a crime to want to hang out with me. I_ am _pretty awesome._

_Sirius, Muggle crackers don’t have birds in them, obviously. There’re hats and sweets and toys and little things. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t invent them. You just took our invention and (admittedly) improved upon it._

_Anyway, I’m going to go to sleep now. Are you and the others going to stay up for Father Christmas? Don’t get caught, or he’ll leave you coal in your stockings!_

_Cordially (Honestly, what’s wrong with that? It’s standard! And cordial! It says so in the word!)_

_Sarah_

_P.S._

_I’m attaching your Christmas gift. There’re three parts to it. No puppy, I’m afraid. But I’ll keep that in mind for next time. (Speaking of puppies, have you seen that big black dog around the grounds? He’s a cutie! Perhaps you could adopt him if you want a dog so badly?)_

_The first part you’ve already guessed. I suppose I am predictable. But you once told me you liked “Shamrock Homes” so I’m hoping you’ll like this, too. It’s about a private detective. Sure, he uses his brain a bit more than he does his fists, but I’m sure you’ll like it all the same. And maybe he can give you a few tips for your future career as a detective!_

_Part two is the cookies I promised you. Hope you like them!_

_Part three is something that I’m pretty sure I’ll regret._

_P.P.S_

_I like talking to you, too._

***

**25 December, 9:00**

_Most honourable Sarah Hughes,_

_HAPPY OFFICIAL CHRISTMAS!!!!!!_

_First off, I would like to formally thank you for the gifts. The cookies are, in fact, to die for. Literally the best things I’ve ever had in my life. And I’ve had a lot of cookies. And an entire series of books?? Merlin, Hughes, you spoil me. But they look good. And Remus said he’s read them and that I’ll like them (Speaking of Remus…we have to have a serious conversation about that boy). So thank you._

_As for your third gift, I am speechless. A photo of baby Sarah in her mum’s dress?? I think I may have died from cuteness overload. It is currently taped above my desk, and I will cherish it forever._

_Seriously, no jokes, thank you. I really love my gifts. You did good, Hughes._

_On to my replies to your letter!_

_Your family sounds absolutely barmy. I love them already. Your grandfather sounds hilarious. Really my kind of man. Your nan sounds a bit scary, though. I wonder what kind of backhanded comment she’ll have about me. Something about cutting my hair, perhaps? “You would be pretty if you were a girl”? I wouldn’t like to see her on eggnog (Although, I do hope you’re not a lesbian. That would put a serious damper on my hopes and dreams!) Anyway, I can only imagine what kind of gossip you and your aunt spill (Poor Aunt Jen and her addiction!). I would thoroughly love to hear it all!_

_I think Solaris would appreciate the heating pad (you Muggle’s do have some pretty interesting inventions. Too bad crackers aren’t one of them). But don’t spoil him too much. He nips me constantly, the little shit, so he doesn’t deserve too much comfort._

_And for the record, I taste delicious, thank you very much! But don’t worry, Kreacher won’t eat me. He’s actually a bit scared of me. Could be because I kicked him down the stairs last time he saw me…_

_As for our Christmas adventures, we did, in fact, stay up for Father Christmas! And I have a dreadful surprise for you…there_ is _no Father Christmas! It’s just house-elves! We’ve been hoodwinked. Duped. Bamboozled! Poor James didn’t see it coming. Bloke was crying for hours after we discovered the monstrous sham that is Christmas! But then the elves gave us some cake, so it’s all good._

_Since you saw your family yesterday, have any big plans today? Or will you just lay around the house doing whatever it is that Muggles do?_

_From, (See? That’s standard, but look how impersonal it looks! Honestly, am I not worth the effort to you, Hughes?)_

_P.S._

_I bet you thought I forgot about your gift! Fear not, Hughes. I would never forget._

_Unfortunately, your gift is only a two-parter, so you’ve got me beat there. I didn’t expect you to be so thoughtful. Damn you!_

_Part one is, you guessed it, a book. But I think you’ll find this one quite useful._

_Part two is surprisingly similar to your secret gift. I hope you like it. I had to recruit Wormtail to help me out with it, so if there are any shoddy camera angles, I blame him entirely._

***

**25 December, 13:30**

_Happy Christmas Sirius!_

_I’m glad you liked your gifts!_

_As for your gifts…I really, really love them. The book is amazing! I thought you can only get this in the restricted sections?? I think maybe I don’t want to know how you got it. Deniability and all that. But it’s fantastic! A whole book on wandless magic…I’ll be unSTOPPABLE!_

_And the photo. I don’t really know what to say. It’s so beautiful, and I can’t believe you were able to catch that. Well done, Wormtail, and well done, Sirius, for giving me genuinely one of the best presents I’ve ever gotten. Thank you._

_On to my replies to your letter! (That’s such an awkward segue. For being supposedly the coolest kid in school, you sure are a dork.)_

_I can 100% see Gran telling you to cut your hair. She doesn’t believe in “””””the alternative look.””””” Oh, no, she’s a firm believer in short hair on a man, dresses on a woman (with pantyhose, of course), light makeup on women, and absolutely NO nail polish on men (my brother got the chewing out of a lifetime the one time he wanted to experiment with nail polish)._

_Solaris has never once bitten me. He’s actually quite sweet. Always nuzzling my hand, looking for pats. Perhaps he just likes me better. We should relook at our custody agreement._

_On a completely unrelated note, WHY ARE YOU KICKING YOUR HOUSE ELF DOWN THE STAIRS? What is wrong with you, you_ monster _???? Stop abusing your staff!_

_But I’m so terribly sorry to hear about Father Christmas. I had hoped you wouldn’t find out like this, but I suppose all children must be disillusioned at some point. At least you got cake when you found out. My brother was actually the one to break the news to me. I was 10, he was 7, and he laughed while I cried after he told me the truth. It was truly a heartbreaking moment._

_No big plans today. We all went sleighing this morning. There’s a giant hill just round the corner from my house that all the kids go to, and dad and I made a snowman while Jack and mum took turns on the sleigh. Well, I say sleigh. It’s just the lid from the trash can. Jack kept breaking our sleighs, so dad refused to buy another one. So, yeah, we’re the trash can family._

_What about you and the boys? Now that the Christmas magic of Saint Nick has been shattered, will you be spending the day in your dorm, bedridden from your sadness? Or will you put your miseries aside and go cause trouble?_

_Warmest regards (Okay, “from” is a pretty terrible sign-off, I give you that. But you can stay standard without being impersonal. You’re just a drama queen.)_

_P.S._

_About Remus…oh my, GOD, are you talking about Remus and Anna?? What the FUCK IS GOING ON THERE??_

***

**26 December, 11:00**

_Lady Sarah,_

_It’s good to hear the book was too your liking! All you need to know about how I got it was that I nearly DIED, and got the scolding of a lifetime from Moony for it. You best appreciate everything I do for you._

_It took remarkable timing on Wormy’s part to get that photo. But I’m glad you liked it. I wasn’t sure if you would, so…it’s nice to know you do._

_But what do you mean_ “supposedly” _the coolest kid in school??? I am most DEFINITELY the coolest kid in school, and you know it. And DORK?? For your information, I am completely punk rock! I mean, have you seen my hair? And the way I wear my tie? Only a true punk kid would wear it so loose. Besides, you said yourself your nan wouldn’t approve of me. Grandparental disapproval is the epitome of punk rock!_

_So, Solaris is a traitor, I see. You must have been badmouthing me to him, it’s the only logical explanation. You’ll never have sole custody! I spent nine months carrying that little fella around, you can’t have him!_

_And please, if you met Kreacher you’d understand. He’s a dreadful little creature (or should I say…a dreadful KREACHER!!) Always making my bed and cleaning up after me. Doesn’t he know I have an image to protect? Can’t be punk with a made-up bed!_

_Your brother sounds brutal. I’d love to meet him. Maybe he can paint my nails and we can tell you the truth about the Tooth Fairy._

_I’d love to see your snowman! Last year, Remus and I made a snowman around Peter. Packed all the snow around him, put on a little scarf and hat, and called James over. Right when James was inspecting our work, Peter jumped out, and I’m like 90% sure James pissed himself. It was amazing._

_Well, yesterday James needed some serious cheering up, so we went carolling with some of the ghosts. Nicky Nick can do this really cool thing where he opens his neck a bit and sings out of the gap but also out of his mouth, so he can do solo harmonies. Pretty wicked! Some first year almost had a heart attack when she saw it, though, so I don’t think she was as impressed as I was._

_Done. (Since you’re all about the practical, I suppose I’ll just forgo sign-offs all together and just let you know, done talking now.)_

_P.S._

_YES!!!!!! We were opening presents yesterday, and he got something from her, and he was being all secretive and shit, and he refuses to show us what she got him. And he’s spending all his time writing to someone (clearly her), but he’s not telling us ANYTHING. And you noticed them at the dance, right? Has she said anything about it? Cos I am DYING HERE. Moony is so damn secretive about everything! And from US! His BEST MATES! It’s like a betrayal!_

***

**26 December, 16:30**

_Sirius,_

_I hate to break it to you, but you most certainly are NOT the coolest kid in school. That title is reserved for Gideon Prewett. Or haven’t you noticed that perfectly coiffed hair?_

_Oh, so you’re punk now, are you? I suppose I should have realised. What, with the way you pass notes to your boyfriends in class all the time, the constant dramatics, and the fact that you named your friend group. Those are totally punk rock. Next, I bet you’ll be drinking juice boxes and knitting sweaters with Mary!_

_I never said I wanted sole custody of Solaris! I’m willing to settle for joint custody. You are his mother, after all (weird choice in roles there, by the way)._

_Oh, how horrible, a small creature (I sincerely want to punch you for that pun.) at your constant beck and call! How dare he! Stop kicking the guy, Sirius. That’s totally not punk rock of you._

_My brother wouldn’t be caught dead in nail polish now, of course. He’s 12 now, so he’s too cool for literally anything fun. For Christmas, Mum got him an Evel Knievel Stunt set (some toy where you make an action figure do tricks and shit), and he was all, “Oh, I’m too old for this.” Even though I caught him playing with it in the bathroom this morning. What a goon._

_For being a master prankster, James seems like a remarkably easy target. Lily has told me some things she’s done, and it’s ridiculous how effectively such simple pranks are on that boy._

_But by the way, I’m with the first year, singing out of your neck sounds gross as shit._

_Tally-ho, (Fine, since you’re being such a nag about this, I’ll play your little game. Happy now?)_

_P.S._

_OH MY GOD!!!! Yes, she keeps asking me about him! I talked to her on the phone the other day, and she kept saying things like, “Oh, have you talked to Remus? Has he, like, mentioned anything about me? Not that I care, or anything. Because I don’t.” I have no idea what she sent him, but I’d love to know. Try to find out! But yes, I saw them dancing. She was being really evasive about it, and she wouldn’t tell us anything. This HAS to have been going on for a while. I’ve known Anna for years, and there’s no way she would just jump in with a guy. I mean, sure, it’s Remus. But even still, she wouldn’t just start being all giggly about someone without having had a few romantic encounters with him beforehand. I guess we just haven’t been paying much attention…_

***

**27 December, 8:30**

_Bandit,_

_GIDEON FUCKING PREWETT?? Are you MENTAL?? Bloke has a nose the size of England! Merlin, even Snivelly’s nose is smaller than Gid’s! I’ll give you the hair, but surely my hair is just as good. I don’t mean to brag, but I_ have _been told it’s so healthy it looks like a wig. So…I think we both know who the real winner is in the hair department._

_And I’ll have you know, Hughes, that naming your friend group is totally punk rock. And what’s wrong with knitting sweaters? What, being warm isn’t punk now? But if you want proof, I guess I’ll just have to pierce my ear with a needle. That’ll show you! And Prongs is not my boyfriend!But if I were to have a boyfriend, I could do a lot worse than him!_

_I can deal with joint custody. He’s there pretty much half the time now, anyway. But what’s wrong with being his mother? I did raise him, after all. I remember when he was just a little baby…he was so creepy and bald. Ah, the good old days._

_Fiiiiine, you’re right. Kicking is not punk rock. I’ll stop. But if he tries to make my bed one more time, I’m punching him in the face, and you can’t stop me._

_I’m not sure who Evel Knievel is, but that’s totally lame of your bro. There’s nothing wrong with playing with toys. Pete’s got quite a few of them, and we even play with him sometimes (if you tell anyone that, I will vehemently deny it). Tell your brother to grow up and play with his damn toys. And to paint my nails._

_Oh, James is the EASIEST target. First year, he was the jumpiest little fucker. All we had to do was levitate a pillow, throw a blanket over it, and BAM! He’s convinced there’s a ghost in the corner. You’d be surprised how many times that has worked on him. We also put a cricket under his bed once. Took him a solid week to find it. He was running on, like, 3 hours of sleep by that point, so he was convinced the cricket had somehow gotten into his ear and was living in his head. Ah, good times._

_Now…what’s this about Lily? She doesn’t prank…what do you know, Hughes?_

_Fare thee well, (that’s the spirit! But I’m sure you can do better than “tally-ho”)_

_P.S._

_Yes!!! He keeps asking about her, too! Every time you send a letter, he’s all, “Oh, is that from Sarah? How’s she? Anything about her friends? No? Nothing about Anna? Huh.” I’m trying to find out what she sent him, trust me, but I’m pretty sure he disposed of it just so we wouldn’t find out. But I’m starting to agree with you that this must have been going on for a while. You know Remus. He’s so…I love the guy, but he has zero self-confidence, especially when it comes to girls. I’m starting to feel kind of bad for not noticing. Think we should try to hook them up? Like, set up a date for them? We could always suggest a double date. You know, the two of them, the two of us. That way it won’t be awkward for them, you know? Just them, and us, all on one big happy date. Sounds fun, right??_

_P.P.S._

_FUCKING. MR. DARCY. I cannot beliEVE he broke up Jane and Bingley??? What is his deal?? Merlin, and Wickham? What kind of person does that!!! I hope Elizabeth punches him in the prick. I know you said it’s a romance, but I’m genuinely hoping it turns into a Victorian revenge story._

***

**27 December, 12:30**

_Paddy,_

_Sirius, someone telling you your hair looks like a wig is not a compliment. And his nose isn’t that big! It’s…strong. And come on, no one’s nose is bigger than Severus’. Now you’re just being dramatic._

_Piercing your ear? Oh, watch out, we’ve got a badass over here. But the fact that you knew who I was talking about with the whole “boyfriend” thing just proves my point that he’s totally your boyfriend. But you’re right, you could do a lot worse. James isn’t so bad, despite Lily’s insistence that he’s a berk._

_Evel Knievel is some stunt man. Does crazy dangerous tricks on a motorcycle, rides through fire, that sort of thing. Please don’t get any ideas. Fuck, I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned him._

_On a side note, I am loving the image of you and the boys playing with toys. Let me guess, you sit around on the floor, making your little dolls talk to one another? I assume they’re manly toys, of course, but I can only imagine them with preppy little voices.“Oh. My. Troll. Did you SEE Becky’s hair? Yeah, Tiffany, it was tots ugg.” (By the way, just a note, don’t write down anything that you want to deny later on. I’ve got proof now, Black. No getting out of this one)_

_But if you want someone to paint your nails, I’ll gladly do it! I love painting nails, but I never get the chance to do it. Anna doesn’t “believe” in nail polish, Gretchen won’t let anyone other than a professional paint her nails, and I can never paint my left hand. So if you’re volunteering, I won’t say no!_

_Seriously? He was scared by a pillow and a blanket? And why would he be scared of a ghost, anyway? We literally live in a castle full of them. And the cricket thing, that’s genius, if not a little cruel. For James and the cricket. I hope you were feeding the poor thing._

_As for Lily, I don’t know what you’re talking about. She totally doesn’t pull ingenious pranks. Nope. Not at all. (Except she totally does and I’m dying to tell you, but she would murder me if I ever told…I’ll have to do it in person so there’s no evidence. See? That’s how you tell a secret without leaving a trail. Learn from a pro, Black)_

_Remember the Alamo, (I’m guessing you won’t get that one)_

_P.S._

_I know what you mean about Remus. I tried to set him up with someone last year, and he kept saying stuff like “Oh, dating isn’t for me. There isn’t anyone for me. I’m not good enough. Blah blah blah.” Like, he’s handsome, funny, sweet…I don’t get it. Any girl would be lucky to go out with him. Unless he’s got some massive secret, like he’s a vampire or something, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t have a girlfriend._

_As for your suggestion, I’m loving the thinly-veiled attempt to ask me out without breaking your promise not to ask me out. Very subtle. But I might be up for it if it means getting those two together. They both deserve someone special, so why not each other?_

_But just to be clear, this is not me saying yes to a date. It’s me saying “I’ll think about it” to setting them up._

_P.P.S._

_Glad to see you’re finally reading it! Sadly, no, it’s not a Victorian revenge story. That would be awesome, though. Just keep reading._

***

**28 December**

***

**29 December, 21:00**

_Sirius,_

_Hey. I haven’t heard from you in a bit. How are you?_

_I miss Solaris. Had to run off to the owlery to borrow an owl. Can’t believe you made me actually leave the house just to write to you!_

_Hope everything’s okay!_

_Sarah_

***

**29 December, 23:00**

_Sarah,_

_Sorry I didn’t respond to your last letter. Haven’t been feeling great._

_Sorry you had to go to the owlery. But it’s good for you to leave the house! Get out there, see the world!_

_Sirius_

***

**30 December, 1:00**

_Sirius,_

_I don’t want to get out there and see the world. I much prefer to stay in my warm bed and drink hot cocoa._

_I hope I’m not overstepping here, but is everything okay? If you need to talk about anything, I’m a pretty good listener._

_Sarah_

***

**30 December, 2:30**

_Sarah,_

_I don’t know. I guess I’m just feeling a bit off. I got a letter from Reg yesterday. It’s a really long and dumb story, but basically mum is pissed that I didn’t come home for holidays. I guess I was supposed to meet some important guy who could “take me places” or whatever. And I’ve apparently embarrassed the whole family for not showing up. And she’s sent Reg to be her little errand-boy, like always. It’s like, she’s so insistent on me being the perfect little pureblood, and she wants me to make more of an effort about how I present myself to society or whatever, but it’s just not me. I might be a dick sometimes, but I just can’t do what they want me to do. Like, Lily, Mary, Anna,_ you… _they want me to shun all of you, and for what? Just so I can be a miserable, bigoted prick like the rest of my family? Not interested._

_Sorry, I don’t mean to unload my shit on you. I’ll be fine, I promise. Just feeling a little…I dunno. Sorry. Just ignore me._

_Sirius_

***

**30 December, 3:30**

_Sirius,_

_I’m sorry your mum wants you to do stuff you don’t want to do. I don’t really have any kind of advice for you, but…from what I know about your family, I’m happy you don’t want to do whatever it is they want you to do. I know I’ve been a bit critical about you, but you really are a good person. I don’t mean to rag on your family here, but you’re the best person to ever come out of the Black family. I mean that. You stand up for what you believe in, you protect the people you love, you know who you are, and you don’t apologise for any of it. I envy that. And if your family can’t accept who you are and what you want from life, just remember that you have a whole family at Hogwarts who will always accept you. Including me._

_And don’t ever apologise for talking about your problems. Sirius, we’re friends. Friends talk about this stuff. If you’re ever upset about anything or want to talk, I’m always here. Even if it’s just to listen._

_Sarah_

***

**30 December, 15:30**

_Sar-bear,_

_We apologise for the interruption. Now back to our previously scheduled letter replies!_

_You won’t believe it until you see it, but I’ve done it. I, Sirius “Padfoot” Orion Black, have gotten my ear pierced. And even more unbelievable, Remus is the one who pierced it! Prongs was going to do it, but the first sight of blood and he passed out. And Remus said, and I quote, “If you’re going to do something this stupid, you might as well do it properly.” So he took the needle, gave me a jab, and now I am an official punk! So take THAT!! Hurts like a motherfucker, but damn if I don’t look dangerous as hell._

_I’m liking the Knievel fellow more and more. But he’s definitely one-upping me in the badass department, and no amount of piercings is going to help me catch up. I’ll have to step it up if I want to out-cool him._

_As for the toys, we do NOT sit on the floor and make the dolls talk to one another. We sit on our beds and make our FIGURINES fight each other. And they don’t talk in preppy voices! They talk in deep, manly voices. “Oi, gov, wha’chu lookin’ at, huh? You got a problem? How ‘bouts I GIVE you a problem, mate! And while we’re at it, how ‘bout you take a bite of this KNUCKLE SANDWICH! POW! BAM! KERSPLAT!”_

_But really, it would be an honour to have my nails painted by the great Sarah Hughes. Just make sure to paint them a punk colour. Like red. Bright red. Bright, slutty, vixen red. But definitely not green._

_The cricket was, indeed, a brilliant move. All Remus’ idea. He pretends to be all goody-goody, but he’s secretly an evil genius. And I love James, but he’s not the most logical. Ghost whose head literally is about to fall off his body? No problem. Sign him up. But a pillow and a sheet? Scares the shit out of him._

_I will absolutely hold you to that Lily thing. Since you’ve mentioned it, I’ve been thinking. I have my suspicions of things she might have done, and I desperately need verification. But just tell me this. Last year, my head kept shrinking and James’ kept growing. I was super convinced he was doing it on purpose, trying to take all my knowledge and it backfired or something. But now I’m starting to think…was that Evans?_

_Remember, Remember, the 5_ _ th _ _of November (I don’t know the Alamo…but we learned about nursery rhymes in Muggle Studies in second year. That one was all about lighting shit up or something, which was wicked, so I always remembered that one)_

_P.S._

_Remus…has some issues with self-esteem. We’re working on it, don’t worry. He’s gotten much better since we first met him, but we’ve still got a ways to go._

_We’ll set up a plan for our totally platonic double date once you get back!_

_P.P.S._

_Okay, okay. Maybe Darcy’s not so bad. I read his letter, and that was fucked. And I just got to the part with Georgiana. I like her. She’s shifty. But I still don’t like Darcy. He broke up Jane and Bingley. Not cool, mate._

_P.P.P.S._

_Thank you for last night. I really needed it._

***

**30 December, 20:00**

_Pad-footy pyjamas, (I thought that was clever)_

_An earring? Are you fucking with me?? I’m not even upset, I’m just impressed with your devotion to this ridiculous punk persona you’ve created. Just make sure you clean it. I don’t want you getting an infection just because you’re a moron. I’ll write to Remus to make sure he takes care of you._

_But please, Sirius, don’t look into the Knievel thing too much. After all, piercing your ear is enough for one holiday, don’t you think? Maybe save the fire swallowing for the summer, yeah?_

_I’m sorry, I’m just finding it hard to be intimidated by boys playing with dolls on their beds, no matter how many “knuckle sandwiches” they threaten me with. But nice try, though._

_I actually got some glow-in-the-dark nail polish for Christmas! I’ll make sure to bring it with me. It’s really cool, it’s supposed to suck up the light from the sun during the day or something, and then at night, they glow green! They’re wicked cool! Maybe you can get over your dislike for green just this once, eh? Otherwise, I have some boring old red we can use. But that’s not as fun._

_I am curious about something, by the way. You and James, you never study. Like, ever. But you always have top marks. How is that? Not judging or anything. I’m just really impressed and wanna know your secret._

_Hahahahaha! I so wish you could see how hard I’m laughing right now! Literal tears! I can neither confirm nor deny that she was the one that made James “steal your head.” But I think my inability to stop laughing gives you your answer._

_Burn after reading, (no witty comments here. But I liked our format of parentheses here, so I’m keeping it up)_

_P.S._

_Oh, Georgiana is the best. She’s so sweet, and she totally wants Darcy and Lizzie to be together. She’s like the cute little meddling sister that we all want! But yeah, about his note, fuck Wickham. Little prick._

_P.P.S._

_Any time._

***

**31 December, 11:00**

_Miss Hughe Dork, (Let a pro teach you how to make a_ real _pun)_

_No need to write to Remus. He’s gone full-on Mum Mode since I pierced it. “You have to clean it, Sirius. You have to twist it, Sirius. Don’t touch it, Sirius. Stop fiddling with it, Sirius. No, you cannot charm your ring, Sirius, or you’ll get an infection, Sirius.” Merlin, I’m starting to wonder if being punk is really even worth it!_

_I’m sorry, but fire SWALLOWING?? Is that even a thing??? You muggles are hardcore, aren’t you?? Next, you’ll be telling me you lot swallow…swords, or live animals, or something else just as ridiculous!_

_Glow-in-the-dark, eh? I think I’ll have to make an exception on my strict anti-green policy, because that sounds wicked! I’m becoming more and more intrigued with you lot every day._

_I am honoured by how impressed you are with James’ and my study habits. What you have to realise, Hughes, is that we study all the time. We just study things that actually matter, and if it happens to coincide with our classes, great. If it’s a defensive spell or something that’ll explode shit, we’re all for it, and our teachers thank us for it. But learning about Goblin Wars or how to turn a frog into a cup? Not interested. There’s only so much room in our brains, and only the things that help us wreak havoc and maintain our street cred are allowed in the sacred caverns that are our minds._

_As for Evans, I KNEW IT!! She thought she was soooo clever, didn’t she? Walking around with that little smirk while poor James stumbled around with a head the size of the Whomping Willow. Just you wait, she’s going to get the pranking of a lifetime!_

_Oh, by the way, Happy New Year’s Eve!! Going to any parties? Getting shitfaced? Kissing any boys at midnight? (I hope not)_

_Carpe Diem, (Remus taught us that in third year, and we made it our motto for like a solid 2 months. He seriously regretted it and made us promise never to say it again)_

_P.S._

_I’m loving that old lady. Lady Catherine or whatever? She’s like the most miserable person in the whole world. Every time she speaks, I can just FEEL the stick up her arse._

***

**31 December, 14:00**

_Oh, Great Pun Master (Okay, okay, I yield to your clearly superior pun skills)_

_Why am I not surprised Remus has taken over Mum duty. Just don’t be too annoyed with him. He’s only nagging cos he cares about ickle baby Siwius! But don’t worry, once your ear heals, he’ll leave you alone, and you’ll be able to be punk without a Mother Hen hovering over you constantly._

_Oh, fuck, I shouldn’t have mentioned the fire swallowing…I should also probably not tell you that swallowing swords is definitely a thing, as is live animals. But that one’s mostly just with fish. I personally find it disgusting, but hey, to each their own, right? But I’m glad I’ve been able to show you how cool we Muggles can be. Maybe I should start eating live fish at meals to show those Slytherin Bastards not to fuck with Muggleborns, lest they become my next meal!_

_Well, I’m not surprised you only study things that’ll help you fuck with people. I’m just impressed with your dedication to causing mischief. If only you could go to school for pranking! You’d be valedictorian for sure! So, tell me, what’s the craziest thing you’ve studied that’s not on the syllabus? I’m going to guess…probably something dangerous, like vampire hunting, or how to tame a werewolf, or something just as barmy-yet-totally-punk._

_Please, please, PLEASE don’t murder Lily! She’d be so angry with me for getting her killed that she’d haunt the ever-living shit out of me! If you’re going to prank her, at least let me be involved. I need to make sure you don’t go overboard!_

_And happy New Year’s to you, too! Going to a party with my friends, but no alcohol will be there. Well, maybe. Maura has been known to sneak in a bottle of vodka (muggle firewhisky) to some parties, or so I’ve been told. So we’ll see. As for the kissing, there will indeed be boys there. But don’t worry, I’m not interested in any of them, not that it’s any of your business, Mr Just Friends._

_And what about you? Any wild and crazy plans?_

_Catch you on the flip side (Not sure what this actually means, but my dad says it ALL THE TIME and it’s so annoying. Also, you broke your promise to Remus in your last letter, I’m afraid to say)_

_P.S._

_Oh, Lady de Burgh! She’s the literal worst. So unpleasant. But I’m not surprised you like her. She does seem like someone you’d enjoy torturing._

_Where are you, by the way? Almost done? Has your opinion on Darcy changed at all yet? Or do you still want to punch him?_

***

**31 December, 22:00**

_Dearest Pun-prentice (Thank you for finally appreciating my greatness! Perhaps you’ll be half as great as me one day. But for now, you’ll simply have to satisfy yourself by basking in the glory that is Sirius Black’s punny skills)_

_Is it bad that I kind of like you using baby talk on me? Go on, Hughes, whisper dirty baby words in my ear and make me swoon! (Only joking. Well, mostly joking. And you can stop making that adorably annoyed face I know you’re making!)_

_But I’m afraid you’re wrong about Remus’ Mother Henning. He’ll never stop that habit of his. It’s probably for the best, though. His constant nagging has thwarted about two dozen of our pranks, most of which most certainly would have gotten us expelled. As much as I loathe to admit it, the smarmy bastard is good for us._

_YOU SWALLOW LIVE ANIMALS????? Merlin’s soggy buttocks, that’s vile, even by my standards. And as much as I would love to see my dearest cousins squirming with disgust, I think you just might put me off fish for the rest of my life if I see you eating one live. And it’ll definitely change how I see you from now on. We’ll have to find some other way to demonstrate your badassery. Let’s revisit that fire swallowing idea again!_

_You know, you’re not far off on your guesses. No, I haven’t learned how to hunt for vampires, not for lack of trying. You’d be surprised to learn that there’s not much literature on the subject. As for taming a werewolf, you really only need some chocolate, preferably mild dark chocolate imported from Brazil. Though, they do appreciate a good milk chocolate from time to time. But never EVER feed them brussel sprouts. They’ll straight murder you and feel no remorse for it._

_For your safety, I’m afraid I cannot divulge the actual craziest things we’ve done. But one thing I can tell you about is the time we hung out with centaurs. Last year, we wanted to go unicorn hunting (only to see them, not to hurt them, obviously). Well, while we were out in the Forbidden Forest, we came across some trolls. (Side note: remember that time out by the lake and it started to rain? I said I found some baby trolls? Well, it was actually the babies of the trolls we found that night. They’re not so bad once you get to know them a bit.) Anyway, trolls thought we were there to hurt them, but we didn’t know how to speak troll, so we couldn’t tell them that no we weren’t, and it almost turned into a full-on brawl. Then some centaurs came out and saved our arses. They told the trolls to go on and yelled at us for being where we shouldn’t be. Then, Pete started crying cos he was so scared, so the centaurs told us they’d give us rides back to school grounds. Ended up taking the scenic route to calm Pete down. It was wicked! And they’re really nice, too. A bit posh and “I’m better than you”, but we go out to see them from time to time. They make a mean roasted rabbit, by the way._

_As for Lily, I won’t murder her, no worries about that. James would literally never forgive me. He’d probably find some really awful way to torture me, like putting a permanent bald hex on me (literal worst nightmare!). But I’ve already started thinking of some ways to get her back. I’ll let you in on them ONLY if you promise to actually help and not just sabotage me from the inside. Normally, I wouldn’t suspect you of such a thing, as you Hufflepuffs are pretty fair and all that. But you’ve got a good bit of Gryffindor sneakiness in you, and I’ve learned to be wary of your wily ways._

_Glad to hear you’re being social tonight! Don’t get too drunk if Miss Maura brings some vodka (you should bring some back with you. Would love to try it!). And even more glad to hear that you don’t fancy any blokes there. But for the record, I was only asking to make sure you’re not getting involved with any hooligans. Cos you deserve only the nicest, most trustworthy boy. You know, someone like me._

_As for my plans, James and I are playing a little visit to Slytherin tonight. Got some good stuff in store for a certain greasy-haired git. Will keep you posted!_

_Vive la revolution! (Another motto of mine. As for the promise I supposedly broke to Remus, I won’t tell if you won’t!)_

_P.S._

_Nearly finished. Just finished the part where Lady Catherine visited Lizzie. I would definitely love to punch Darcy, obviously, but…you were right. I like the guy. He clearly loves Lizzie. I mean, he helped fix Lydia’s fuck up, he got Jane and Bingley back together…he’s a good bloke. Still a prick, of course, but a good one. We’ll have to have a good analysis sesh when you get back._

***

**1 January, 13:00**

_Sirius, (Forgive the lack of originality…I might be a bit hungover, so I lack any cognitive creativity right now)_

_Happy official 1976! Here’s hoping it’s a good one!_

_Part of me is insanely grossed out by you liking the baby talk. And another part of me is already plotting how I can use this to my advantage. (And my annoyed face is not adorable! It’s intimidating!)_

_Wait, so the pranks you do are the ones that actually make it past Remus?? Wow, I can’t even imagine what you think up that he rejects! I’m imagining…pyrotechnics, flooding, and lots and lots of bodily injuries._

_And don’t worry._ I _don’t eat live animals. Just the thought of it gives me a one-way ticket to vomit-ville. But don’t get your hopes up about the fire swallowing. I’m not about to burn my insides just to intimidate a bunch of arseholes. Maybe we can get Anna to do it. She’s always up for a challenge. Speaking of Anna, let’s meet up when I get back. I NEED to know what’s going on with her and Remus. See if you can get James and Peter to sneak out, say, tomorrow night when I get back, and we’ll start a game plan._

_I don’t even want to know how you know all of that about werewolves. But all of that sounds like Remus…I hope you’re not trying to tell me something? (Only kidding. Can you even imagine if Remus was a werewolf? As if!)_

_The more I hear about your shenanigans, the more intrigued I am. I might regret asking this…but do you think I couldn’t come with you sometime? Maybe not when you go into the forest (I don’t want to get slaughtered by a group of Acromantulas), but maybe when you go out on your nightly adventures? But only if you want to, of course. I wouldn’t want to impose or make it too difficult for you or anything._

_I promise to actually help you get Lily back. Mostly just because I want to see how a prank war would play out with you two. And I promise not to sabotage anything! But I can’t promise I won’t help her get you back when she inevitably retaliates…she is my friend, after all. (And I’ll take the Gryffindor sneakiness comment as a compliment. So thank you)_

_I suppose you’re curious to know how my night went. Maura did not bring any vodka. But to everyone’s surprise, it was Maddie! If you can imagine someone even more bookish than me, that’s Maddie. So it’s astonishing that she smuggled in the alcohol. Anyway, we ended up playing some drinking games, and I managed to get absolutely smashed (well, I say smashed…I’ve only had a drink once before, so I was drunk after about 3 shots. It really doesn’t take much for me, as you can see). Midnight rolled around, and the only person I kissed was Eva. So, she’s your only real competition right now (and I wouldn’t even be worried if I were you. She’s much too in love with her neighbour, Martin, to be interested in little old me). So it was a pretty good night! But when mum came and saw I was drunk, she was FURIOUS. Dad thought it was hilarious, though, and they decided my punishment was to wake me up at 6 am and be loud for the whole day. So my raging headache is punishment enough. Normally, I would be happy to not be grounded, but this is brutal._

_Sirius, you PROMISED you would leave Severus alone until after holidays! I can’t believe you broke your promise! First Remus, now this? Judas!!_

_Best, (Sorry for being boring. Please take pity on my poor hungover self and don’t get too angry with me)_

_P.S._

_Don’t worry, everyone wants to punch Darcy. And we’ll definitely have that analysis sesh. I want to hear about your favourite bits!_

***

**1 January, 19:00**

_Dearest Sarah, (Don’t worry, I understand how difficult hangovers can be. I’ll take pity on you just this once)_

_Happy 1976! (Insert cute motivational phrase here)! (Since I took pity on you about your hangover, I hope you’ll take pity on me about my total lack of motivational phrases. I’m not one for being uplifting or whatever)_

_Merlin, I really need to watch what I say around you. You’re appearing more and more devious as time goes on. All I can do is beg you not to use the baby talk thing against me! We’re pitying each other here, remember? (And your annoyed face is intimidatingly adorable. The way your mouth scrunches up and your eyes get all tiny? Super scary and super cute)_

_Oh, Miss Hughes, you have no IDEA what Remus has rejected. He’s actually given us a list of things that he’ll veto, no matter what. Surprisingly, though, flooding is not on that list. In fact, we had a plan to flood the Slytherin dorm room (but only in a way that won’t drown anyone. Moons was very clear on that point, the party pooper), but James fucked it up with some inane scheme to get Evans. Perhaps we’ll try again in the new year._

_Talked to James. He’s in for a midnight rendezvous. I’ll have to ask Peter, but he’s always up for a meeting. We’ll have to think up something to tell Remus so he doesn’t suspect anything, but it shouldn’t be an issue. How’s 11:30 sound? Normal Brotherhood room?_

_Hahahaha Remus, a werewolf?? Hahahaha don’t make me LAUGH, Hughes! You’re a riot! Ha!_

_I never thought I’d see the day when Sarah Hughes is asking for a nighttime adventure with Sirius Black! But if you wanted to come, all you had to do was ask! I won’t take you into the Forest yet, but I can think of a few things you might be up for. I’ll think about it and get back to you. But don’t ever think you’re imposing. Your company is always welcome._

_Oh, Evans wouldn’t stand a chance in a prank war with me! But if you’re going to play both sides, I only ask that you don’t divulge any of my secret weaknesses. But if you wanna tell me anything I can use against her, you’re totally welcome._

_Well, Maddie, you dirty bastard! I didn’t know she had it in her! I’m loving the idea of a smashed Sarah, though. I bet you’re an adorable little mess when you’re drunk. I’d love to see it. I’m picturing a lot of stumbling and giggling and hiccoughing. I’m glad there’s no real competition, but I didn’t realise I was even in a contest. Are you saying I have a shot with you, then? Challenge accepted!_

_But I’m sorry your mum and dad are being loud around you. Trust me, I know how awful hangovers are, and that’s cruel to wake you up so early! If you ever come to a Gryffindor party, I’ll make sure no one’s noisy the next morning._

_And I didn’t break my promise! I said I wouldn’t prank Snape. Which is why James did it, and I watched. And I don’t know what a Judas is, but I assure you I am not one! Besides, we only added some glue to his shampoo. Nothing serious. But, judging from how terrible his new hairdo looks, he might have to shave off that hair of his. If anything, we did him a favour!_

_Anxiously awaiting your return (seriously, I can’t wait for you to come back. Not to sound sappy or anything, but I’ve missed you dearly.)_

_P.S._

_I assume I won’t get a reply before you leave for the train station tomorrow, so we’ll talk tomorrow night. Want to have dinner with me at Gryffindor table?_

***

**2 January, 9:00**

_Sirius,_

_We’re leaving soon for the station. Just wanted to say that yes, I’ll meet you at the Brotherhood room at 11:30._

_See you soon!_

_Sarah_

_P.S._

_I’d love to have dinner with you. Save me a seat!_


	13. Sirius's Revenge

It was the night before the new term was meant to start, and the Great Hall was nearly empty, save for the few students who had stayed at the castle over the break. The remainder of the student body was due to arrive any minute, and Sirius had never been more nervous. He tried to play it cool, of course. He _did_ have an image to protect, after all, and acting like a jumpy first year would not help maintain his punk cred. But he couldn’t stop himself from glancing up at the entrance to the Great Hall every few seconds and rubbing his sweaty palms against the fabric of his pants. His friends shared knowing smirks, and Remus finally broke the silence.

“You’re being quiet tonight.” His comment went completely unheard, so he tried again. “Sirius?”

Sirius finally whipped his head around at the sound of his name. “Hm? Did you say something?”

Remus didn’t bother to hide his sigh. “I said, you’re being quiet. Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” Sirius said, just a bit too enthusiastically. “Yeah, totally fine. Just can’t wait for dinner, that’s all.”

“Oh?” James asked, feigning ignorance. “Why’s that?”

“Cos his _girlfriend_ is eating with us,” Peter grinned.

“No,” Sirius said, shooting Peter a dirty sneer. “I’m just hungry.”

“Oh, so you’re not nervous about Sarah joining us, then?” Remus asked.

“Of course, I’m not nervous,” Sirius scoffed. “Why would that make me nervous? If anything, _she_ should be nervous. I’m not nervous. Nothing makes me nervous.”

“You’re saying nervous a lot,” Peter commented lightly.

“ _You’re_ saying nervous a lot,” Sirius grumbled.

“Okay, okay,” James said, patting his definitely-not-nervous friend on the shoulder. “No one’s nervous. But if anyone _were_ nervous, I’d tell them to relax. She wrote you, like, a million times over break. She clearly likes you.”

Sirius was quiet for a moment before asking, “You really think she likes me?”

“Do you _want_ her to like you?” Remus asked with a curious cock of the head.

“Well, yeah, for the bet, obviously,” Sirius sputtered.

“Right,” James and Remus said in unison, sharing a short glance. At that moment, the doors opened up, and in walked the returning students. Sirius suddenly sat up a little straighter, subconsciously running a hand over his hair. As the horde of students slowly dispersed across the tables, a figure slipped into the seat next to Sirius.

“This seat taken?” Sarah asked, giving the boys a wide grin.

“Hey, Hughes,” James smiled. “Glad to have you back.”

“Glad to be back,” she said before turning her eyes to the boy next to her. “Hey there, stranger.”

“Hey, yourself,” Sirius grinned.

“So, let’s see this earring of yours,” Sarah said, wasting no time in brushing his hair aside to get a look at his very-clearly infected ear. She tsked at the sight. “I don’t know who you’ve been talking to, but pus is _so_ not punk.”

“Is it not?” Sirius asked, a smile twitching at his lips. “I always thought pain was punk.”

“I really think you should get this looked at,” Sarah said a bit more seriously, letting his hair go and pulling her hand away.

“Thank you,” Remus said, suddenly animated. “I told him to go to Pomfrey, but he keeps saying she’ll make him take it out.”

“Because she will!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Maybe that’s a good thing, ever think of that?” Remus said.

“Remus is right,” Sarah chimed in. “I know you want to be punk and all, but do you think losing your ear is worth it?”

Sirius scoffed. “I will not lose my ear.”

“You might,” Peter said. “My mum told me about this guy who once had an earring, and a spider crawled into the hole and laid eggs, so he went to the healer, and it didn’t go well, and he had to get his whole ear removed. Now, he can only hear on one side, so he has to spin his whole body if he’s talking to more than one person. They call him the Twister Man.”

“What’s a twister?” James asked.

“That swirly thing that sucks things into the sky,” Peter said.

James pulled a face. “What?”

Remus sighed. “Peter, your mum is always telling you scary stories like that so you don’t get into trouble. There is no Twister Man.”

“Yes, there is!” Peter cried. “I’ve seen him once!”

As the three of them continued arguing over the validity of the mystical Twister Man, Sarah turned to Sirius. “I do like your earring,” she said. “Well, except for the puffiness.”

“And the pus,” Sirius grinned. “So, I should keep it?”

“Well, yeah,” Sarah shrugged. “But only if you promise to go see Pomfrey tomorrow.”

Sirius drew an X over his heart. “I promise. Now, let’s talk about you.”

Sarah frowned in confusion. “What about me?”

Sirius leaned forward and pinched her cheek. “Looks like you weren’t kidding. Your mum really did send us back a decidedly chubby Sarah.”

Sarah gasped in horror. “Fuck off!” She said, holding her cheeks and hiding her face.

Sirius realised all too late his mistake. “Oh, fuck, no, Merlin, sorry, fuck, I was only joking! You look good, I swear!”

The red-faced Sarah laughed incredulously, pulling her hands away from her face. “My God, Sirius, and I thought you were supposed to be the suave one of the group.”

Sirius grimaced. “Sorry. I guess I got used to writing letters and actually thinking about what I’m saying.”

“It’s fine,” Sarah said with a final chuckle. “But you’re right, I spent literally all day every day eating pies and cakes and minced this and that. I swear, mum was practically spoon-feeding me by the end of the holidays.”

“Well, you look good,” Sirius said.

“So…” Sarah trailed off into silence for a moment. “You actually put some effort into those letters of yours, then?”

“Don’t go getting a big head now, Hughes,” Sirius said. “I only spent slightly longer than I would on an essay. And that’s not very long.”

“He’s lying,” James pipped up. “The tosser spent all day drafting and redrafting every letter.”

“Piss off,” Sirius snapped at James before turning back to Sarah, who was trying to hide her smile. “Okay, so I may have spent a bit of time on your letters.”

“Well, I enjoyed them,” Sarah said. “They certainly made it easier to be away for so long.”

“Away from me?” Sirius leaned forward with a wide grin.

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Away from Hogwarts.”

“And me.”

“Partially.”

“Go on, Hughes. You know you missed me.”

“Believe what you want, but I will deny any such allegations.”

“Say it, Hughes,” Sirius said, narrowing his eyes at Sarah. “Or prepare to face my wrath.”

“Oh?” Sarah laughed. “What, are you going to give me one of those famous knuckle sandwiches you use on your dolls?”

Sirius laughed. “That’s it, you asked for it.” In an instant, he descended upon her, his fingers wiggling and finding every ticklish spot he could. Sarah giggled, trying to wriggle away from him, but he was relentless.

James and Remus watched the scene before them, sharing yet another pointed look. “Get a room, you two.”

At James’ words, Sirius yielded in his onslaught, finally letting Sarah regain her breath. The two of them were saved from having to reply at the sudden banquet of food appearing before them. For the rest of dinner, the five of them chatted away, discussing the upcoming term and, more interestingly, the holiday antics Sarah had missed. She was appalled to learn that Sirius had, in fact, broken his promise to not bother Severus, though he was adamant that he only orchestrated pranks, not actively partook in them, a loophole that he insisted should get him off the hook.

At the end of the meal, when the first few students began heading off to their dorms, Sirius leaned over to Sarah and whispered in her ear. “Still on for tonight?”

“Yep,” Sarah whispered back. “Gretchen’ll distract Anna so I can get out without her noticing. You good with Remus?”

“Yeah, it should be fine. We sneak out without him all the time. You need me to come get you?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Brotherhood room at 11:30?”

“Brotherhood room at 11:30.”

And with that, the two of them parted ways, each sending the other a secretive wink before heading toward their respective common rooms.

***

At precisely 11:30 that night, Sarah crept around the corner. She’d had nary a run-in with anyone during her trek to the seventh floor, and she was starting to feel like she’d gotten the hang of this sneaking out thing. Gretchen had kept Anna busy, prompting her with different topics that would surely hold her attention long enough for Sarah to escape. It was sure to be a gruelling evening for the both of them, full of heated arguments and more than a few ridiculous reasons for those arguments. Gretchen’s only condition for putting her through such an ordeal was that she had to be included in any and all plans that they would come up with that night, and Sarah was quick to agree to those terms.

As she neared the end of the seventh-floor corridor, Sarah spotted a figure lurking in the darkness. She slowed, slipping off her Mary Janes to keep from making too much noise and alerting the figure. As she padded along the hallway, her stockinged feet making no more than a whisper, she readied her wand in case of any possible attacks. After all, it was only a few weeks after Mary had been attacked, and she couldn’t be too careful.

She needn’t have worried, however, for as she crept closer to the figure, she instantly recognised the shaggy hair and cool-guy slouch. She smirked, deciding not to alert him right away. Closer and closer she moved, silent as the night, until finally, she was upon the unsuspecting figure. In one great leap, she jumped on his back, eliciting the daintiest squeak she’d ever heard.

“Merlin, Hughes!” Sirius hissed when he finally discovered who his attacker was. He put a hand over his heart, willing his breath to slow down. “You nearly killed me!”

“That’s what you get for tickling me at dinner,” Sarah said, glaring at him through a smile and giving him a little shove on the shoulder.

“I didn’t peg you for the vengeful type,” he said, pushing open the mysteriously-appearing door and ushering her in.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” she replied.

“Oh, I like this mysterious side of you, Hughes,” Sirius said with a grin.

“Hey, Sarah’s here,” James called from inside the room. The room was decidedly brighter than it had been the last time she was there, though red was still the dominant colour. It seemed much smaller than she remembered, with only a large fireplace, a small table with a few mugs of tea, and three plush chairs. “Did you get here okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, all good. Did you distract Remus?”

“Peter’s in charge of that,” Sirius said, closing the door behind him. “So, it’s just the three of us tonight.”

As the group settled in, grabbing their mugs and getting comfortable, Sirius picked up a piece parchment and a quill that Sarah didn’t remember being on the table just a moment before.

“All right,” he said, scribbling something on the top of the paper. “Here we are for the first official meeting of Operation Rema.”

“Operation Rema?” Sarah asked with a dismissive scoff.

“Yeah,” James grinned. “That was my idea. Anna and Remus. Rema.”

“Surely, there’s got to be another option,” Sarah said. “That sounds ridiculous.”

“Well the other option is Operation Anus,” Sirius said, fighting a smirk.

Sarah was quiet for a moment before saying, “Rema is fine.”

“Glad we all agreed,” Sirius chuckled. “So, first thing’s first…”

Before he could continue, however, the door of the room opened, and in walked Peter and Remus.

“Sorry we’re late,” Remus said, closing the door. “Peter wouldn’t stop talking.” Peter shot Sirius and James a wide-eyed look that clearly begged them to help him.

“No worries, mate,” James said quickly, while Sirius hurriedly stuffed the parchment into his cloak pocket. “We were just getting started. You didn’t miss anything.”

While Remus casually pulled up two more chairs from thin air, he sighed contentedly, oblivious to the fact that he was most definitely not invited. “So, what’s this meeting about, Sarah?”

Sarah let out a short grunt of surprise. “What?”

Remus frowned curiously at her reaction. “Peter said you wanted to call a meeting. Something about a plan?”

“Right,” Sirius quickly chimed in, giving Sarah a pointed look. “Remember? You were going to tell us about Evans. And all the pranks she’s pulling. And how we’re going to get revenge.”

“Wait, what?” James asked, genuinely surprised. “Lily doesn’t pull pranks.”

“Apparently, she does,” Sirius said. “Remember the time you stole my head? All Evans.”

Remus let out a short laugh. “Knew it.”

James looked down at his hands as if rethinking his entire worldview. “Wow. Who knew she had it in her?”

“Rethinking that soulmate shit, are you, Potter?” Sirius asked.

“Are you kidding?” James frowned. “This only confirms what I always knew to be true. That she’s 100 per cent the person I’m meant to be with.”

“Of course, it fucking does,” Sirius shook his head. “Anyway, Sarah here said she’d help us get revenge.”

“I thought you two were friends?” Peter asked.

“Sarah was our friend first,” Sirius cut in quickly. “Right, Sar-bear? You’ll help us to get her back.”

“I said I would,” Sarah sighed. “But nothing drastic. And if she wants to get revenge back, I’m going to help her.”

“A double agent,” James said, nodding thoughtfully. “That could be useful. Get intel and all that. Smart thinking, Hughes.”

“Well, if we’re going to get revenge,” Remus said. “We need a plan. Any ideas?”

“We could…” Peter trailed off, thinking aloud. “Fill her shampoo with glue?”

“We already did that to Snivellus,” Sirius said, waving a dismissive hand. “Besides, she’s diabolical. We can’t just pull some juvenile prank. We need to destroy her. Crush her into the ground like the bug she is.”

“Oi,” James snapped. “My Lily flower is not a bug!”

“No one’s crushing anyone,” Remus said, defusing the tension before it even started. “But Sirius is right. Lily is smart. If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right. We need to get on her level.”

“How about we send her a fake love letter from Slughorn?” Peter suggested.

“No,” Remus said, ignoring Sirius’ snort of amusement. “Nothing that’ll get a teacher in trouble.”

“We could change the Gryffindor password to ‘I love James Potter,’” James threw out.

“Nothing to encourage your unhealthy obsession, Potter,” Sarah sighed.

For the next hour, the five of them sat around their small table, throwing out ideas. From replacing her soap with a block of cheese to lighting her hair on fire, their ideas were either too childish or too criminal. A few of them were good enough to write down, but most of them were rejected immediately, particularly Peter’s ideas. Although, he did have the admittedly genius idea to wax the hardwood floors with grease. The idea was ultimately scrapped, however, as it would likely just end up throwing a load of people into the infirmary, and there was no guarantee that Lily would be one of them. Besides, they were only trying to prank her, not break her leg. But Sirius did make a note of it on a separate piece of parchment that he tucked into the pocket of his robe. “For later,” he said.

And so, with quite a few scribbles, ink spots, and crossed-out words, their parchment was filled with barely more than a few ideas, and certainly none that were concrete enough to begin putting into action. Given the fact that she was beloved by over half of the group and a tolerated acquaintance of the rest, it seemed to be just too difficult to find an idea that was clever enough to work and respectful enough not to lose her as a friend — or future wife, in James’ case.

“First of all,” Sirius said as they sat around the table. “You don’t need to worry about losing her as a future wife because that’s never going to happen. Second of all —” He ignored James’ indignant cry. “We have to think of something.”

“We’ve been thinking,” Peter whined. It was well past his bedtime, and he was starting to get grumpy.

“And it doesn’t help that James’ shot down all my ideas,” Sirius grumbled.

“Excuse me,” James snapped. “For not wanting my soul mate to be bald.”

“Well, if she’s really your soul mate, you shouldn’t care that she’s bald.”

“Look,” Remus said, turning on his grown-up voice before Sirius and James started a row. “We’ve got a list of ideas. It’s not great, but it’s a start. We’ll keep thinking, and we can keep each other updated.”

With grumbled acceptance that they would not, in fact, be coming up with a devious master plan that night, the five of them decided to call it a night. After bidding the boys goodnight, and insisting to Sirius that he did not have to walk her back to her common room, Sarah quickly made her way through the dark castle. Part of her felt guilty for conspiring against Lily, but judging from the list of ideas those boys came up with, she wasn’t too worried about this so-called “war” that they’ve waged.

***

She was right not to be worried. In fact, their attempts at pranking Lily were so horrendously unsuccessful that Lily had no idea that she was being pranked at all.

Their first attempt involved a chair, a few wheels, and a wand. A simple prank, really — the boys attached four wheels to the bottom of her chair in herbology and waited for her to sit down. Despite Sarah’s insistence that a wheelie chair is actually quite popular in muggle culture, Sirius was adamant that she would “absolutely fucking lose it” when she went to sit on her stationary chair, only to find it mobile. They were disappointed, then, when Lily ended up loving the moving chair, using it to scoot around the classroom instead of walking over to the tools table.

Their second attempt, despite being slightly more well-thought-out, was just as big a failure as their first. This attempt involved scaring the living daylights out of the unsuspecting redhead by hiding in a broom closet, sending her in, and jumping out right when she opened the door. James assumed that “seeing her piss her pants” would even the playing field a bit, making his goal of wooing her that much easier — neither Sarah nor Sirius nor Remus understood this logic, while Peter just went along with James to appear as if he actually knew what the hell the boy was talking about.

The question was, how would they convince Lily to open the door? After all, it’s not as if using the broom cupboard is an everyday occurrence for a Hogwarts student. Well, certainly not for one as classy as Lily.

And that’s where Sirius decided that Sarah would prove incredibly useful. “You tell her that you’ve spilt something — pumpkin juice, potion’s ingredients, whatever — and say you need her to go get you a broom.”

“And why can’t you be the one to ask her?” Sarah asked sceptically, not exactly eager to be so involved in pranking her friend.

“Obviously, I’ll be the one in the closet when she opens the door. And James and Peter can’t ask her; she’d never trust them enough. And Remus opposes this much involvement on ‘moral grounds’ or some rubbish. So, that leaves you, Bandit.”

And so, they had all of their bases covered. James and Peter created a giant spill (to ensure believability), Remus surveyed the scene (to ensure they didn’t accidentally injure a poor, unsuspecting first year), Sirius hid in the broom cupboard (giggling in the dark), and Sarah (reluctantly) rushed up to Lily to beg her for help. Unfortunately for them, Lily didn’t see the need to go to the broom cupboard. They’re wizards, she correctly pointed out — they have wands. After cleaning up the spill with a flick of her wrist, she went on her merry way, and James, Remus, Peter, and Sarah were left to come up with another plan. They were so busy planning that they completely forgot about Sirius, still hiding in the closet, until three hours later. He was not pleased when he finally emerged.

For nearly two weeks they went through one plan after another, failing more spectacularly with every attempt. From getting “the world’s hottest pepper” juice in their eyes to nearly falling from the castle roof and even to singeing their eyebrows off, every idea they had had backfired. Lily seemed to be inadvertently outpranking them without even realising that she was involved in a prank war.

Finally, the boys had an idea that was sure to best the unprankable Lily Evans. At least, that’s Sarah assumed when they approached her one morning, huddling together so that no passersby could overhear their oh-so-secret conversation.

“Hey, Sar,” Sirius said, glancing around them suspiciously as James and Remus crowded around her. “We need a favour.”

“Oh, yeah?” Sarah asked, glancing between the shifty boys. “And what would that be?”

“Think you can distract Slughorn this afternoon before potions?” James whispered, leaning in close. “Just keep him, say, five minutes over lunch. That should give us enough time.”

“Enough time for what?” Sarah asked.

“We’ve got a plan,” Sirius grinned, rubbing absentmindedly at the semi-permanent ink splotch on his arm that he’d gotten three days before.

“Clearly,” Sarah deadpanned. “And what might this plan be?”

“Sorry, Hughes,” said James. “Can’t reveal anything that you might bring to the enemy.”

“Oh, so your soul mate is the enemy now?”

“Look,” James said, levelling Sarah with a glare. “I love Lils as much as the next guy. More so, even. But she’s thwarted every single attempt we’ve had so far. At this point, I’ll try anything just to see if she’s even _capable_ of being pranked.”

“Come on,” Remus said, glancing around the corridor. “We’ve gotta go.”

“Shit, right,” Sirius said hurriedly. “So, Sarah, can you do it?”

Sarah sighed. “I guess. Just don’t do anything that’ll actually hurt her.”

“Not a chance,” Sirius grinned before slapping her on the arm. “Thanks, Hughes. You’re the best.”

***

That afternoon, Sarah found herself nervously approaching their portly professor. She’d been learning potions from the man for over five years now, but she hadn’t the first clue what to talk to him about. It’s not like she’d ever socialised with him before. She was a decent student, sure, but she’d never been _interesting_ enough to get invited to the famous Slug Club. What could she possibly say to keep his attention?

As it turned out, it wasn’t all that hard. In fact, after ten minutes, she was actually looking for ways to _end_ the conversation.

“You know, I taught the great Damocles Belby,” Slughorn babbled.

“You don’t say?” Sarah said, trying to feign interest but finding it increasingly difficult.

“Great Potioneer, that one. I don’t like to take credit for other’s accomplishments, of course, but I can’t help but consider my teachings a great source of inspiration for him.”

“I’m sure you were his greatest source of inspiration, sir.” Before Slughorn could continue, Sarah forged on. “Speaking of Potions, sir, shouldn’t we get to class?”

“Oh, goodness, how right you are, Miss Hubs. Off we go, then.”

As the two of them walked off down toward the dungeons, Slughorn continued his monologue, listing off dozens and dozens of students he’d _inspired_ over the years. Potioneers, musicians, politicians — you name it, he’s inspired it. It was only a few minutes before they reached the Potions room, but Sarah could feel her will to live slowly draining from her soul. She thanked the Lords, then, when he finally stopped talking to open up the Potions room.

In the group of students waiting to enter, she found Sirius, James, and Remus huddled together. Sarah made her way over and gave Sirius a firm shove. “You better have finished what you needed to. I just listened to that man praise himself for ten bloody minutes!”

“We did!” Sirius beamed, looking like a child on Christmas morning. “Thank you, dearest Sarah, for your great sacrifice. You’ll be remembered for generations to come when they speak of our epic prank.”

“And what is this prank, hm?” Sarah asked, crossing her arms and giving Sirius an unimpressed glare.

Sirius and James shared a wicked grin. “We swapped all of the ingredients for today’s potion. Just for Evans’ potion, of course.”

“Right,” Sarah said slowly. “You do know she’s gotten all Os in this class, right? I think she’ll notice when she goes to reach for the flyworms and they’re not there.”

“Oh, but they will be there,” James grinned.

“We transfigured the ingredients to look like the regular ones,” Remus said with an uncharacteristic smirk. If she didn’t know any better, Sarah would have guessed that Remus was _enjoying_ himself.

“And we’ve used just the right ingredients,” Sirius continued. “So that once she reaches the seventh step, it’ll explode!”

“What?” Sarah asked, startled. “Sirius, Potions can get really dangerous. You shouldn’t be making something explode on purpose.”

“Relax,” Sirius said. “We tested it all out, and the worst thing that’ll happen is it makes everything it touches within a two-metre radius smell awful.”

“And how do you know that?”

James snorted. “Where do you think Peter is?”

“Poor bloke is in smelly quarantine,” Sirius said. “We should be able to let him out in a few days or so.”

“And you’re okay with the love of your life smelling awful for a few days?” Sarah asked James.

“Sure,” James shrugged. “I’ll love her no matter how bad she smells, and if the smell puts off other blokes, all the better.”

Sarah closed her eyes, shaking her head. “You realise she’s going to get a T, right? She’ll be furious.”

“We’ve decided,” Remus chimed in. “That if Slughorn gives her a T, we’ll take the blame. We only want to give her a little prank, not ruin her chances at a good future.”

“Come on,” Sirius said, grabbed Sarah’s hand and tugging her into the room. “We want to be there when it happens.”

By the time they grabbed their seats at the back of the room, Slughorn was already five minutes into his introduction for the day’s class.

“Given the nature of the potion, we’re going to go ahead and work in pairs today. When I call your name, please find your partner and get started. Ingredients are already at your desks.”

“I wonder who the sad sap is that has to work with Evans today,” Sirius whispered to Sarah.

“With any luck,” she whispered back. “It’ll be you. Give you a taste of your own medicine.”

“Oh, please,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “He’d never put me with his star pupil.”

“Black, Sirius,” Slughorn called. “And Evans, Lily.”

Sirius was silent, staring ahead with wide eyes, and Sarah struggled to contain herself. It appeared that James and Remus were having just as much difficulty. For his part, Sirius didn’t appear to even be breathing.

“Sir,” he called after a moment. “Don’t you want to pair me with a Hufflepuff? You know, inter-house unity is very important.”

“Yes, Mr Black,” Slughorn said with a smile. “Quite right you are. But you seem to have the inter-house department covered.” He gave Sirius and Sarah a suggestive grin before returning to the roster.

“Better luck next time, mate,” James said, slapping Sirius on the back.

“Okay,” Sirius said solemnly, turning to face James and Remus. “Change of plans. We’re not doing the Potions idea.”

“A bit late to back out now, don’t you think?” Remus said with a delighted smirk. “It’s not like we can just untransfigure the ingredients.”

“And why not?” Sirius bit out.

“She’ll know we’ve been plotting,” James said. “Right now we have the element of surprise. If she knows something’s up, it’ll all be for nothing. Come on, Sirius. Take one for the team. This was your idea, anyway.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know pranking Evans meant smelling like the Bog of Eternal Stench.”

“You said yourself,” Sarah said, almost too excited as she egged him on. “It’ll only be for a few days. Just remember the head incident. Don’t you want your revenge?”

Sirius bit his lip, glancing over at Lily who was already tapping her toe impatiently. “Bollocks.”

As Sirius made the slow walk to the guillotine, Sarah grabbed her things and slid into the seat next to James, her partner for the day.

“Bandit,” James grinned. “You are in for a real treat.”

“Oh?” Sarah said. “And why’s that?”

“You are about to witness one of Sirius’ infamous backfires.”

Sarah laughed. “Should I be worried?”

“Maybe a little,” James said, pulling out his cauldron and placing it in the stand. “But I think we’re far enough away that we shouldn’t get caught in any sort of fall out.”

“I hope not,” Sarah grumbled, flipping through the book. “Does this happen often? These backfires of his?”

“More often than you’d think, but he’s surprisingly adept at turning them around. Remember in second year when the Great Lake was red?”

“Yeah, didn’t you lot put some colouring or something in it?”

“That’s what we told people, yes.” James leaned in close as he whispered. “But that was not at all the plan. We actually were trying to change the colours of the Slytherin common room. But…we might have accidentally broken one of the windows and sort of flooded part of the room. Long story short, lake turned red, Slytherin was soggy for a while, and we got a load of detentions.”

Sarah sighed, shaking her head. “Merlin, how McGonagall puts up with you, I’ll never understand.”

James let out a snort. “Please, she loves us.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Sarah said sarcastically. “It’s every witch’s dream to spend her teaching years dealing with a group of societal hazards.”

“We are not societal hazards,” James said, affronted. “We are merely marauding innovators, looking for a creative outlet for our genius.”

“You’re a menace, is what you are,” Sarah said with a teasing smile.

While the two of them chatted away amicably, on the other side of the room, Lily was about two seconds away from slapping Sirius upside the head. From the second they began their potion, he’d been messing up every step. When she tried to ignite the flame under the cauldron, he “accidentally” blew it out with a deep sigh. When she added water, he bumped the cauldron, dumping most of the water on the table. When she asked him to cut up the Valerian root into cubes, he “mistakenly” cut them into fine slivers. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think he was intentionally trying to muck it all up in an ill-concealed attempt to cause an explosion. _But, no, he knows better than pull such a stupid stunt._

As she reached for the mermaid scales, he slapped her hand away, shouting, “No!”

Lily huffed, setting her knife down with just a bit too much force. “What is it now, Black? The book clearly says to put the mermaid scales in once the honey has dissolved.”

“Erm,” Sirius faltered. “Are you sure? Maybe we should check again.”

“I have checked the damn thing three times. I know what I’m doing. Now, give me the scales.” With his head hung low, Sirius quietly handed over the scales. “Will you relax? Merlin, we’re just brewing a potion. You look like you’ve been condemned to death.”

“Might as well be,” Sirius mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he said quickly, putting on a forced smile. He glanced back toward James, hoping for a little sympathy for the tremendous disaster of a situation he was in. But he felt a pang of jealousy to see him laughing away with Sarah, the two of them completely oblivious to his plight.

At his silence, Lily glanced up, saw him staring, and followed his gaze. When she saw what he was staring at, she rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Stop pining after her and help me with this, will you?”

“I was not pining,” Sirius bit out before picking up his mortar and pestle and grinding viciously at the rose petals.

Lily let out a snort. “Sure, you weren’t. Just like you haven’t been pining after her for the past two months.”

“I haven’t been!”

“Right. And next, you’re going to be telling me that you _weren’t_ flirting with her for the whole winter break.”

“She wasn’t even at Hogwarts, so how could I have been flirting?”

She shrugged casually, eyes focused on the cutting board in front of her. “She may have mentioned a few letters.”

Sirius froze. After a pause, he hesitantly asked her, “She showed you the letters?”

“No, of course, not. She’s not some silly gossip,” she said with a scoff. “Just mentioned that you’d been writing.”

He bit his lip before continuing as nonchalantly as possible. “Did she happen to say anything else?”

Lily smirked. “She may have. Not that I’m going to tell _you_. That would be a massive betrayal of her trust. Here, stir this.”

“Oh, come on, Evans,” he whined, taking his wand and idly stirring the potion, completely forgetting that he was meant to be thwarting his own plan. “Give me something, here.”

Lily sighed, putting her knife down and turning to him. She knew Sirius wouldn’t shut up until she gave in, so she decided to indulge him. Just a little. “She really didn’t say much. Just that you’re a lot less… _you_ than she originally thought.”

Sirius frowned. “Less…me? What the bloody hell does that mean?”

“You know. Cocky, immature, rude… _you._ ”

“She thought I was rude?” He bristled.

Lily snorted. “Well, yeah, you were. Still are. But you’re nicer than you were, at least to her, and that’s all she cares about.”

Sirius was quiet for a moment, an intense crease forming in between his eyebrows. “Does she still hate me?” He asked at last, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

Lily let out an exasperated sigh. “Merlin, for someone so obsessed with himself, you have the confidence of Porlock. No, she doesn’t hate you. Just keep being not an arsehole, and you’ll be fine. Now, make yourself useful. We’re really behind on this bloody potion.”

Back at the back of the classroom, Sarah noticed the distinct lack of explosion. “Looks like they aren’t quite to step seven yet.”

James let out a chuckle. “I bet Sirius is doing everything he can to slow them down.”

“Not sure why,” Sarah said, squeezing a few drops of honeydew into the cauldron. “It’s going to happen, anyway. Might as well get it over with.”

“Eh, Sirius isn’t really one for _getting things over with_. He much prefers to put things off for as long as possible. I’m pretty sure he thinks that if he just keeps putting it off, the problem will just go away on its own.”

“That’s a terrible way to go through life.”

“Well, at least he doesn’t have to deal with many problems.”

“Yeah, but when he finally _does_ have to deal with something, it’s a million times worse.”

James laughed. “You don’t need to tell _me_ that. Trust me, we’ve tried to teach the boy. But he’ll never learn. But, hey, I actually wanted to thank you.”

“For what?”

“Your letters.”

Sarah turned quickly, nearly cutting James’ head off in the process. “He showed you the letters?” She gasped.

“No, no, no,” James said quickly, eyeing the knife in her hand nervously. “No, he didn’t show me anything. He didn’t even really tell me about them. But, I mean, it’s hard to miss when he’s writing them all day every day for two weeks.”

“Oh,” Sarah let out a little sigh of relief. “Right. Of course.”

“It’s just that he’d gotten a pretty nasty letter from his family.”

“Yeah,” Sarah responded quietly. “He mentioned that.”

“Yeah…he was in a bit of a funk, there. We tried getting him out of it, but he was just not having it. But then he was up at the owlery all night, writing to you, I’m assuming. And he was good as new the next day. So, whatever you said to him really did the trick. I, erm…well, I probably shouldn’t be mentioning this, but he likes you, you know? And he’s been much less of a twat since he met you. You’re, ah, good for him.”

Sarah bit her lip to hide her smile. “Well, that’s good to know.”

James glanced at her from the side, a small smirk playing at his lips. He noticed the light blush at the apples of her cheeks, and he could practically hear Sirius’ bragging. _Get ready to go streaking, Jamesy boy,_ he’d say. He decided not to tell Sirius about her blush. It would only make his head that much bigger, and he just couldn’t handle the gloating that was sure to accompany it.

Before he could say anything else, there was a shriek from the other side of the room.

“Wait!” Sirius cried, reaching out to no avail as Lily squeeze two drops of honeydew into the cauldron. As if in slow-motion, Sarah, James, and Sirius watched the drops of liquid fall, Sirius in horror and James and Sarah in anticipatory delight. The second it hit the cauldron’s bubbling contents, the front corner of the room erupted in a thick, green slime. Chunks of the rotten ingredients stuck to the wall, the ceiling, and the occupants of the area. The girls shrieked in disgust, inspecting their slime-covered hair, and the boys looked down at their ruined cloaks in dismay. All of them held back the bile at the absolute stench of the concoction, and the students lucky enough to escape the blast backed away to get as far from the smell as possible.

But no one had been hit as badly as Sirius and Lily. Sirius tried desperately to hold his nose, but the goo had covered his hands and arms, so it was impossible to shield his nose without bringing the smell right to it. Lily stood still, staring at the now-empty cauldron in shock as chunks of slime dripped from her hair in slow, thick globs.

“I don’t—I don’t understand,” was all she said.

“Well, I d—” Sirius started speaking but was cut off as a wave of nausea hit him. He took a moment to swallow hard before continuing with a beaming smile. “Well, I do!”

Lily slowly looked over to him, her face set in a furious glare. “What did you do?”

“I _got_ you, that’s what!”

Lily shook her head in confusion. “What does that even mean?”

“It _means,_ Evans, that I know all about your little prank.”

“My what?”

“Your _prank_! You know, when you shrunk my head and grew James’? Yeah, I know _all_ about it!”

Lily stared in disbelief. “Yeah, I know you know.”

Sirius’ smile dropped. “You know I know?”

“Yeah, Sarah told me she told you already.”

Sirius snapped his head to the side, flinging the goo from his hair with the force. “Hughes? Is this true?”

At the back of the room, Sarah barred her teeth in a grimace. “Erm, well, kind of?”

“You _traitor_!” Sirius screeched.

“Sorry,” Sarah mumbled, shrinking into herself. “I thought she should know that you were planning to prank her.”

“Wait,” Lily snapped. “So, _this_ is your prank? You exploded my potion?”

Sirius turned back to Lily, his victorious smile returning. “Yes! I’ve _got_ you!”

“Yeah, but it got you, too, you utter moron!”

Sirius shrugged. “Unintended side effect.”

Lily sighed, her hands shaking with the effort of restraining her rage. “Whatever, fine, you got me. Great job. Now can we wash this gunk off, please? I’d rather not smell like fish guts for the rest of the day.”

“Ah,” Sirius said, his smile faltering. “About that…”

“What about that?” Lily asked quietly, her tone murderous and her eyes even more so.

“Well…you see…”

“You have to go in smelly quarantine for a few days,” Remus called from across the room, absolutely loving the fall out of Sirius’ terribly-executed prank.

Lily slowly turned to look at him, the horror she felt evident in her face. “What?”

***

“There, we go,” James said, lowering his wand and looking around the room in satisfaction. The “Quarantine Zone,” as they were calling it, was in actuality the same room they’d used for the Brotherhood meetings. As it turned out, the room — the Come and Go Room, as Sirius explained — was quite useful. Whatever the occupants needed, it would provide, which explained why the room was so different every time Sarah had been there. The room had provided all of the necessities for the quarantined patients, namely food, water, a place to sleep, and a cosy fireplace, and James had added a few walls for privacy.

“You should have everything you need,” he said, patting the new walled-off corner of the room that would serve as Lily’s temporary chambers. “If these two try anything funny, you just give ‘em a good smack, eh?”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” Lily sneered, stomping into her new room and slamming the door behind her.

“Yeesh,” James grimaced. Lily had been none-too-happy to discover that she’d be cooped up with Sirius for the next three days, and even more furious when she discovered that Peter would be there, as well. Peter’s instance that he’d be out in only one more day did not diminish her rage.

“Don’t worry, Prongs,” Sirius said, slapping James on the shoulder. “Ol’ Spitfire’s in good hands.”

“Yeah,” James said, taking two large steps away from his smelly friend. “Just keep those good hands off her, yeah?”

Sirius let out an offended cry. “What kind of man do you take me for? Does the bond of brotherhood mean nothing to you? Besides, Evans’ isn’t my type.”

Remus snorted. “Yeah, you’re more into bespectacled brunettes,” he muttered.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius said, turning his nose up and making his way toward the bespectacled girl in question, who was busy setting up a small library in the corner. “You know we’re only going to be here for three days, right? We’re not going to be reading that many books.”

Sarah laughed as she plopped a thick tome onto the desk. “It’s not for leisure reading. It’s for homework.”

Sirius frowned. “Wait, we’re expected to do homework?”

“Of course,” Sarah said. “You’re going to be missing three whole days. That’s a lot to have to get caught up on. Best to stay on top of it.”

“Damn,” Sirius muttered. “If I’d have known this wasn’t going to be a vacation, I never would have exploded that potion.”

Sarah laughed. “Yeah, you really mucked that up, didn’t you?”

“Well, it’s your fault.”

“What?” Sarah blanched. “I was on the other side of the room. How was it my fault?”

“You told Evans about our plans!” Sirius said with only a hint of resentment.

“I did not!” She retorted. “I only told her that I told you about the head thing. I may have hinted that you might want to get revenge. But I never told you what you were planning to do. Cross my heart!”

Sirius hummed lowly, clearly doubting her truthfulness. “I’m not sure if I should trust you, Hughes. You seem to tell Lily quite a bit.”

Sarah narrowed her eyes at his insinuating tone but smiled nonetheless. “And you seem to tell James just as much.”

Sirius let out a laugh. “Well, looks neither of us can be trusted.”

“A match made in heaven,” Sarah grinned. “Well, stinky boy, I best be off. I’ve had about all I can take of this smell. I’ll check in on you tomorrow.”

“Bring me a pie, will you?” Sirius asked. Suddenly, a crispy, perfectly-baked pie appeared on the table beside them. “Oh,” Sirius grinned, picking it up and giving it a deep sniff. “Never mind.”

***

That night, Sarah lay in bed, staring at the photo Sirius had sent her for Christmas. She had been speechless when she first saw it. There, in the middle of the frame, were two dancing figures — Sirius and her, their hands clasped together as they swayed gently to the music. The light from the candles around the room glittered softly, shimmering through the falling snow that disappeared a few centimetres above their heads. A figure danced across the frame, and the scene reset.

Part of her had wanted to fly straight back to Hogwarts and hug him when she saw it. But another part of her was confused beyond belief. She’d told him she wanted to be just friends. And he agreed to it. And then sent a photo that could be mistaken for a bloody wedding photo. Every time they interacted, it felt just a bit more than friendly. And she was having some trouble sticking to her resolve. Not to mention the fact that he’d spent the entire night in the freezing owlery, writing to her. Sure, he probably used a warming charm, but to sit and wait for an hour for her reply after every letter…she couldn’t deny the warm feeling that settled in her chest.

She shook her head. It didn’t matter. She’d said no, he’d agreed, and that was that. What purpose would it serve to start overanalysing everything now? No, it was best to just stick to her decision. Just friends. That was the way it should be, and that was the way it would stay.

But, of course, that didn’t mean she couldn’t imagine…

She fell asleep that night, staring at the photo, and grey eyes danced through her dreams.


	14. Operation Rema

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Hope you’re all surviving and being safe! Sorry this took a while. Been a bit busy…but I hope this keeps you entertained while you’re stuck at home! 
> 
> Just a note: In previous chapters, I’ve changed Hagrid as CoMC professor to Professor Kettleburn. It doesn’t change the storyline or anything, but I just wanted it to be more in line with canon. Thanks to oki_wan for pointing that out!

It was a perfect winter day. The snow fell gently from the grey sky, the wind sent a prickly chill through the air, and every fireplace in the castle was alight, sending a fog of warmth to combat the cold. Sarah walked through the castle with a bounce in her step. This was always her favourite time of year. Perfect for throwing on her thickest jumper, wrapping up in a scarf, and curling up in bed with a mug of hot cocoa and a good book.

She was on her way to her dorm to do just that when a rough hand slapped itself over her mouth. Before she even had time to scream, she was pulled into an empty classroom, and her mind swirled with thoughts of what her abductor had planned for her.

As the door slammed shut and the hands let go, however, her attacker showed their face, and her fear dissipated, being replaced with annoyance.

“Black,” she shouted, wriggling away from him and slapping him on the arm. “What the hell?”

Sirius shushed her. “Keep your voice down!” he whispered. “Were you followed?”

“Followed?” she asked, dumbfounded. “Why the bloody hell would I be followed?”

“We’re on a secret, covert mission. Of course, you’d be followed.”

Before she could respond, the door swung open, and Peter and James lumbered in, out of breath and not nearly as sneaky as they were likely going for.

“Good, Bandit’s here,” James heaved. He pulled out his wand, flicking it at the door, and the lock clicked shut. He pulled up a chair and settled it beneath the door handle for good measure.

Sarah felt her heart start to pound, and she suspiciously eyed the boys. She was sure they weren’t about to attack her, but as the moments ticked by, this was starting to feel more like a real abduction and less like one of their silly schemes. “What’s going on?”

James looked at her blankly, taking in her dishevelled appearance and frightened eyes. Putting two and two together, he turned to Sirius with a glare. “You didn’t tell her?”

“I was about to,” Sirius said with childlike indignation.

“Merlin, Padfoot,” James said, running an exasperated hand through his hair. “You can’t just go kidnapping girls without telling them what’s what.”

“I didn’t kidnap her,” Sirius snapped.

“Will someone tell me what’s going on?” Sarah shouted.

All three of them shushed her.

“Operation Rema,” James said. “Sirius was _supposed_ to tell you to meet us here,” he shot Sirius another glare, who stuck his tongue out in return, “but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt here and say he forgot.”

“Oh, perfect!” Sarah brightened, forgetting completely to be annoyed with Sirius’ so-called forgetfulness. “Have you got a plan yet?”

Sirius let out a condescending snort. “Oh, I’ve got a plan, all right. I’m Sirius Black. I’ve always got a plan.”

“Oh, just spit it out, showboat,” James said, rolling his eyes and hopping up onto one of the empty tables. Peter attempted the same but ended up hitting his bum on the corner. He pulled up a chair, instead, rubbing his sore behind.

Sirius pulled out a parchment from his cloak, slamming it onto the table. “Voila. Operation Rema.”

Sarah peered at the parchment. “Mission one,” she read aloud, “Recon. Mission two, laying the groundwork.”

“Again,” Peter snorted.

Sarah looked up with a confused frown. “What do you mean, again?”

As Peter sputtered a response, Sirius shot him a dirty glare. “He _means_ , all good plans have recon and groundwork. Keep reading, Hughes,” he added, giving Peter one last pointed look.

“Mission three, battle of the snowballs. Mission four, invasion of the frozen lake. Mission five, capture of the tower.” She looked up at Sirius. “That’s it? We have a few snowball fights and go ice skating, and they’re suddenly a couple?”

“Oh, ye of little faith,” Sirius said, shaking his head in disappointment. “My plans never fail, Hughes.”

“Your last plan got you in quarantine for three days,” Peter sniggered.

“Yes, but it also got Evans there, too, so did it _really_ fail?” Sirius asked with a patronising smirk.

“Yes,” James and Peter said in unison, wiping the smirk from Sirius’ face with a single word. 

“Just… tell me a bit more,” Sarah said before they could begin an argument. “What are we doing on these missions?”

“We begin with a little recon.” Sirius began. “Gathering the necessary information. Lucky for you, we’ve already got that covered.” At that point, James reached into his bag, pulling out a small brown book and tossing it to Sarah.

“Anna’s gift to Remus,” he said. Sarah admired the leather-bound book, running her fingers over the small engraving of a moon on the cover.

“Aw,” she said with a smile. “She got him a journal.” She paused, and her smile fell as her eyes snapped to Sirius. “Wait. Did you steal this?”

Sirius shrugged. “Borrowed.”

Sarah groaned. “You’re a horrible person.”

“Oi,” Sirius cried. “I did it to help my friend find love!”

“Did you read what he’s written?” At his silence, Sarah let out an unimpressed laugh. “Like I said, horrible.”

“We only looked for anything he wrote about Anna,” James jumped in. “There wasn’t much, but he did mention that he admires her ‘tenacity,’ whatever the fuck that means.”

“That better have been all you read.” Sarah chucked the journal back to James. “All right, mission one, steal the journal—complete. What’s next?”

Sirius grinned, eager to explain his masterfully crafted plan. As he laid out the details, Sarah found herself nodding along, impressed with the simple ingenuity of it all. A few well-orchestrated meet-ups, a couple of subtle hints, and _bam!_ , they’re planning their wedding. It was all very clever, and she had a feeling that this wasn’t his first matchmaking plan. She wondered vaguely who he’d worked his magic on before. It certainly couldn’t have been her. _That_ was a monstrous disaster. But _this…_ there was no way this could fail.

“So,” Sirius said after he’d finished laying out the plan. “What do you think?”

Sarah thought for a moment. “Gentlemen, I think this just might work.”

“Excellent,” James and Peter said with a high-five, while Sirius gave Sarah a toothy grin.

“Operation Rema is a go.”

***

**_Mission: Laying the Groundwork_ **

_Tuesday, 07:00, Corridor outside the Great Hall_

“All right, gentlemen,” Sirius said, huddling around his small group. At Sarah’s _ahem,_ he added, “and ladies.” With her nod of approval, he continued. “Today we start our groundwork. Agent Bandit, Agent Coco,” he nodded to Sarah and Gretchen, “lay as many hints as you can about Remus. We’ll do the same about Anna.” He nodded to James, Peter, and himself. “If there’s any partner work, do what you can to get them together. We want them to have as much contact as possible, so if you see an opportunity, take it.”

“What if we seem too obvious?” Gretchen asked.

“All the better,” James said. “If they think we’re trying to get them together, it’ll only put the idea in their minds.”

“Right,” Sirius nodded. “And that’s the whole point of our first mission. To get the idea out there.” As the halls slowly started to fill up, Sirius pulled them in closer. “Okay, you lot ready?” They nodded. “Let’s go.”

***

_Tuesday, 09:00, Herbology_

“That’s too much dragon dung,” Anna said, scooping a bit of the muck out of the pot she shared with Gretchen. “The poor things are practically screaming.”

“They’re fine,” Gretchen said, scooping the muck back in. “They’re looking too skinny, anyway.”

“They don’t _eat_ it,” Anna huffed, scooping the muck out once more. “They live in it.”

“They do too eat it,” Gretchen snapped, scooping it in yet again.

“Hey, guys,” Sarah cut in, giving Gretchen a firm glare. “You know who’s looking absolutely adorable today? Remus.”

“Oh, yeah,” Gretchen said, remembering their mission and letting Anna scoop out the excess dragon dung. “Look, he’s got a bit of dirt on his cheek.”

“Isn’t he fetching, Anna?” Sarah asked, ever-so-subtly leaning on the table and gazing intently at Anna, searching for any sign of a blush.

Anna glanced briefly at Remus, quickly averting her eyes and returning to her pot. “He looks normal,” she muttered.

“He looks better than normal,” Gretchen said with a cheeky wink.

“Can we get back to our Screechsnap, please?” Anna bit out, but Sarah was pleased to note the hint of pink rising up her friend’s neck. As Anna glared down at her pot, ignoring her roommates, Sarah glanced over at Sirius. The two locked eyes, and Sarah gave him a small thumbs-up. He returned it with a wink.

***

_Tuesday, 15:00, History of Magic_

“In 1754, Hurp of the Thwalup colony was born. He was the smallest of his siblings, Gurp, Thurp, and Purp, but he would go on to lead the colony to victory in the Battle of 1835. In his early years…”

As Professor Binns continued to drone on, his students contented themselves with napping, munching on contraband snacks, or writing notes to one another. Among the first group was James, snoring softly; among the second group was Peter, nibbling away at a stolen tart; among the latter group was Sirius and Remus, though Remus was one of the few students listening to their professor, resulting in barely-legible notes, both in his notebook and on the parchment Sirius continued to slide over to him. After a few minutes, he gave up on taking notes on their magical heritage and gave in to Sirius’ relentlessness.

_No, I can’t go out tonight. I promised Lily I’d help her study for Transfiguration._

**_Since when does that girl need help studying?_ **

_Apparently, a dog ate her notes. (Insert disapproving glare)_

**_A dog? At Hogwarts? Nonsense. (Insert innocent puppy eyes)_ **

_Puppy eyes, indeed._

**_Speaking of going out…_ **

_Is this your way of telling me you’re gay?_

**_Sorry, Moons, I’m afraid I’m much too taken by the seductivity of feminine wiles._ **

_I’m pretty sure seductivity isn’t a word._

**_It’s definitely a word._ **

_I’m pretty sure it’s no———_

**_As I was saying. SPEAKING OF GOING OUT. Have you heard if Anna is single?_ **

_Anna?_

**_You know, Sarah’s roommate._ **

_Yes, I know who Anna is. Why are you asking? You’re not thinking of adding her to your little bet, are you?_

**_Please, I’ve got my hands full with Hughes._ **

_So, why are you asking?_

**_Just wondering. She’s quite easy on the eyes, right?_ **

_She’s nice, yes._

**_I said nice-looking, Remus._ **

_I can read, thank you._

**_You know…I heard she has a thing for brown-haired boys with cardigans, scratches, and fetching little dimples._ **

**_Moony?_ **

**_Moooooooony._ **

_We’re in class. I’m trying to take notes._

Sirius grinned, slipping the parchment away and joining James in a well-deserved snooze.

***

_Wednesday, 13:00, Divination_

“Drinking tea is the best part of this class,” Gretchen said, sipping her Earl Grey leisurely, making no effort to hurry to the leaf-reading portion of the class.

“Call me treasonous,” Anna said, downing her tea as quickly as possible, “but I much prefer a good coffee.”

“Damn Yankee,” Sarah muttered with a grin. “What do your leaves say? I’m apparently going to…either have a lover or a dog, I’m not sure.”

“Maybe you’ll have a dog for a lover,” Gretchen laughed.

“Don’t be crude,” Anna sneered before staring intently at her leaves. “I’m not sure. Does that look like a cloud or an owl to you?”

Sarah peered into the cup. It was very clearly an owl, but that wouldn’t help with the mission, now would it? “I dunno, Anna, I think it looks more like a horse.”

“A horse?” Gretchen perked up, catching on to Sarah’s game. “You know what that means, eh?”

“I’m going on an adventure?” Anna asked, flipping through the book in search of the meaning.

“It means a lover is on the way,” Sarah supplied with a wink in Gretchen’s direction.

Anna scoffed. “Please, I don’t have time for that.”

“Oh?” Gretchen asked. “Not even if it were a brown-haired, cardigan-wearing lion boy?”

Anna mumbled out a response, but Sarah didn’t need to hear what she said. She and Gretchen both caught sight of their blushing friend peering a bit more closely at her cup, and that told them everything they needed to know.

***

_Thursday, 10:30, Open corridor, Third floor_

As the first morning lessons let out, the corridor slowly filled with students, rushing to their next class, the toilets, or their dorms for a quick nap. As Sarah, Gretchen, and Anna joined the throng, Sarah casually glanced around the corridor. To the untrained eye, one would think she was simply curious who was there. But Gretchen knew what she was searching for.

When they turned the corner, they spotted it—a mop of messy hair bobbing alongside its mousy-brown, neatly combed partner. With a glance at each other, Gretchen and Sarah hurried along toward the two boys, dragging the oblivious Anna along.

“I’m just saying,” she gabbed away, “it’s ridiculous that we’re expected to have our entire lives planned out before we’re even of age! I mean, shouldn’t we get a chance to explore? To see the world? To find ourselves?”

“You’re absolutely right,” Gretchen agreed, completely out of character for her. But today, they couldn’t afford an argument. They had a plan to put into action.

While Anna continued, arguing on deaf ears, the three girls finally reached their target. Just a few steps away were Sirius and Remus, deep in conversation. Or so it would appear. Sirius’ gaze connected with Sarah’s, and the two of them gave each other a slight nod before executing the plan. In unison, the two of them _accidentally_ nudged their friends, sending Remus and Anna crashing into one another.

“Oh, bollocks,” Remus muttered, righting himself and grabbing hold of Anna before she could tumble to the ground. “Are you all right?”

“I would be if you would get your hands—” Anna stopped her tirade as she realised who was holding her. “Oh, yes, I’m fine. Thanks, Remus.”

They stood there, surrounded by the sea of students, his hands still holding onto her arms. “Guess we should watch where we’re going, huh?”

“Yeah,” she said with a breathy laugh. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“No worries,” he said, finally letting go. “See you in class?”

“Yep, sure.”

With a final smile, the two of them parted ways, and Remus immediately began laying into Sirius for tripping him.

***

_Thursday, 13:00, Potions_

The moment Slughorn called for his students to pair up, there was a mad dash as friend grabbed friend. But for some of the students, it was a mad dash to get away from their friends. Sirius was quick to latch onto Sarah; Peter grabbed hold of Gretchen, who was only slightly reluctant to agree; and James rushed over to Lily, only to be shoved away, after which point he grabbed the nearest partnerless Gryffindor. By the time everyone had a partner, Anna and Remus were left alone, awkwardly shuffling over to their table and giving each other small smiles.

“Looks like everyone ditched us,” Remus said, trying to act as casual as possible.

“Horrible friends, we have,” Anna chuckled, slipping into her seat and avoiding prolonged eye contact.

“Will you look at that?” Sirius grinned from the back of the room, excitedly clutching onto Sarah’s arm.

“I’m looking,” Sarah said with a small smirk. “I gotta say, this plan of yours is actually going pretty well.”

“You sound surprised,” Sirius said, equal parts offended and proud.

“Not because it’s not a brilliant plan,” Sarah said, knowingly stroking the boy’s ego. “I just wasn’t expecting _anything_ to work. Anna isn’t the most romance-oriented person.”

“What, so she’s never had a boyfriend?” Sirius asked.

“No. She’s fancied a few guys, not that she’d admit it…she’s just got a complicated history with the whole romance thing.”

“How so?”

“Oh, you know,” Sarah said, waving a flippant hand. “Family stuff. Our parents always manage to fuck us up in some way.”

Sirius was quiet for a moment. He was certainly interested in hearing more, but he knew Sarah well enough to know that she wouldn’t just blurt out her friend’s personal history. He decided to drop it, turning his attention instead to the love-birds at the front of the class.

“Well, looks like they’re getting along,” he said, nodding to the two of them. As Sarah watched Anna giggling at something Remus said, Sarah grabbed hold of Sirius’ hand with an iron grip.

“She _never_ giggles,” she whispered excitedly. “This is fantastic!”

Despite the numbing pain shooting through his arm, he glanced down at her hand and smiled.

***

_Friday, 14:00, Care of Magical Creatures_

By the time Care of Magical Creatures rolled around, Anna was practically as red as a tomato every time she so much as looked at Remus. And, though he was better at hiding it, Remus seemed to be just as embarrassed to be around her.

As the students gathered around to listen to Professor Kettleburn, who was holding a serpentine creature and speaking quietly so as not to spook the thing, Sirius saddled up to Sarah. “Cover me,” he whispered, pulling out his wand.

With as much nonchalance as she could manage, Sarah stepped in front of Sirius, hiding him from any curious onlookers. Sticking his wand around her hip, he pointed it at the Ashwinder, giving it a small shock of magic. The serpent jolted, hissing at the crowd of students.

Anna, who was absolutely petrified of snakes, as Sarah had informed them, shrieked as the creature continued its angry hissing. Despite its complete harmlessness, she jumped, grabbing onto the person next to her, who just happened to be Remus. While Kettleburn calmed the irritated beast, Anna let out a relieved sigh.

“Not a fan of snakes, I take it,” Remus said with an amused glance at her hand, which she somehow managed to forget to remove from his arm.

“Not exactly,” she said with a nervous chuckle. She followed his gaze and jumped back, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck. “Sorry.”

Remus tried to hide his shy smile. “Not a problem.”

Sarah couldn’t help but notice that, for the rest of the class, Remus seemed to be absentmindedly touching his arm where Anna had grabbed him.

***

**_Mission: Battle of the Snowballs_ **

_Sunday, 08:00, Corridor outside the Great Hall_

Bright and early Sunday morning, Sarah and Gretchen snuck out of their dorm room, leaving the sleeping Anna behind and giggling their way to the Great Hall, where they met Sirius, James, and Peter.

“Morning, ladies,” Sirius said, nodding to the girls.

“That’s _Sergeant Sarah_ and _Chief Inspector Gretchen_ , to you,” Gretchen said with a smirk.

With a perturbed scoff, Sarah asked, “Excuse me, why are you higher than me?”

“Oh, is Chief Inspector higher? I had no idea,” Gretchen replied, feigning ignorance.

“What if I want to be Chief Inspector?” James jumped in.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sirius said, “because _I’m_ Chief Inspector in this operation. You lot are just Constables.”

“What?” the three would-be Inspectors cried in unison. Peter stood beside them, not at all following the different rankings.

“The whole operation was my idea,” Sirius informed them. “I completed recon, I came up with the missions—”

“You wouldn’t have come up with the ideas if it weren’t for me,” Sarah said. “I’m the one who said we should get them together in the first place.

“Fine,” Sirius sighed. “I’m Chief, and you can be Inspector. Happy?”

“I suppose that’ll do,” Sarah sighed.

“Great, now that we have the rankings figured out—”

“What about me?” Gretchen complained.

“—it’s time to move on to the next mission,” Sirius continued, blatantly ignoring Gretchen’s incensed pout. “The Battle of the Snowballs.”

“What’s the plan, o’ Cap-e-tan?” James said, giving himself a self-satisfied smile for his rhyme.

Pausing just long enough to give James a proud nod, Sirius dived in. “It begins after lunch. Sarah, Gretchen, you’ll suggest a leisurely stroll along the grounds. We’ll do the same with Remus. Then, we will just _happen_ to bump into each other. _What a coincidence!_ We’ll chat for a spell, then I’ll ever-so-casually suggest a snowball fight. We split up into teams—Anna and Remus, obviously, and then—I don’t know—Gretchen and James, and me and Sarah.”

“What about me?” Peter asked.

“You’ll be the referee.” He forged on before Peter could object. “Once they’re alone behind their fort, the excitement of war will work its magic. All we have to do is sit back, and wait for them to have their moment.”

“What moment?” Gretchen asked.

“You know…” Sirius gestured vaguely with his hands. “Their _moment_. They’re sitting behind their snow wall, the snowballs are flying in all directions, they could die at any moment! But then…they lock eyes, and the fear of death will spur them forward, their lips inches away—”

“Okay,” James cut him off. “We get the picture. They’re alone, they’ll…got it.”

Sirius gave James an amused glance—for such a _hopeless romantic,_ it was so easy to make that boy squirm. Lucky for James, Sarah jumped in, saving him from Sirius’ onslaught of teasing.

“It sounds like a solid plan, but how do we know it’ll work? They’ll be alone. We won’t exactly be able to…” She trailed off, pushing two imaginary heads together, her lips scrunched in a concentrated frown. “You know…make the moment happen.”

“Trust in the plan, Hughes,” Sirius said. “We’ve done the recon, we’ve laid the groundwork—we just have to believe in the plan, and it won’t fail us.”

“That’s a lot of confidence for someone who’s plans have a fifty per cent success rate,” James muttered.

“Oh, here comes Anna,” Sirius said, nodding to the end of the hall. “Fuck, we look too suspicious. You all know the plan. See you after lunch. Scatter!”

As the lot of them darted into the Great Hall to avoid being spotted, James slipped into his customary seat beside Sirius. “You’ve put a lot of thought into that _moment_ of yours,” he said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “You sure this plan is meant for Anna and Remus?”

“Of course,” Sirius shrugged, piling his plate with toast and sausage. “Who else would it be for?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A certain yellow-clad Inspector, perhaps?” James said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sirius was quiet for a moment, lightly unfolding his napkin and placing it delicately in his lap. When he was settled, he turned to James with a pleasant smile. “I may have a secondary goal for this plan.”

“Knew it,” James snorted.

“You know, Jimothy,” Sirius said, condescension seeping from his voice. “You might want to step up your game. At the rate you’re going, you’ll never get Evans to say yes, let alone before the end of the bet.”

“I’ll have you know,” James snapped, pointing his fork at Sirius and flinging eggs across the table, “that Lily-Flower is totally falling for me. Just yesterday, she asked me how I was. And she hasn’t slapped me once since we’ve been back! Now, _that’s_ what I call progress!”

Sirius smirked. “Progress, indeed.”

***

_Sunday, 13:00, Hufflepuff dormitory_

“Oh, I am _stuffed,_ ” Gretchen sighed, giving her belly a pat.

“Me, too,” Sarah said. “Why don’t we go for a walk, try to work off that food?”

“Great idea, Sarah,” Gretchen said, just a bit too enthusiastically. Sarah shot her a look, silently urging her to tone it down.

“You two go ahead,” Anna said, flopping down on her bed. “I’m ready for a nap.”

Sarah and Gretchen shared a panicked look.

“Come on, Anna,” Sarah said, her nerves slipping through her words. “It’s a beautiful day! The sun is shining, the snow has finally stopped falling. It’s the perfect day for a stroll!”

“Maybe later,” Anna said, sleep already creeping into her voice as she slipped off her shoes.

Thinking quickly, Gretchen spoke up. “Merlin, you’re the laziest person I’ve ever met.”

Anna shot up, all sleep gone from her eyes. “Excuse me? I’m the least lazy person on this planet!”

“Really?” Gretchen asked, rolling with it. Sarah couldn’t help but be impressed by how quickly she jumped into the role of the antagonist. Of course, she’d had plenty of practice. “Because only a lazy person would go to sleep right after food.”

“I’ll show you,” Anna mumbled, shoving her feet back into her shoes, not bothering to slip them over her heels properly. “Fucking lazy, my arse.”

Sarah and Gretchen shared a surprised smile as they followed their furious friend. Well, that was easier than expected. She just hoped Sirius would have as much luck with Remus.

***

_Sunday, 13:00, Gryffindor dormitory_

“I could use a walk,” Sirius said.

“Me, too,” Remus said. “Round the lake?”

“Sounds good,” James said.

***

_Sunday, 13:10, Clock tower courtyard_

While Anna and Gretchen bickered away, still dead-set on proving to the other who was lazier, Sarah scanned the grounds. With no sign of her matchmaking cohorts, she was beginning to worry that perhaps they hadn’t managed to convince Remus to take a stroll. It _was_ rather cold out. Maybe Remus had grabbed a seat by the fire, hot cocoa in hand, and their mission would be thwarted before it even began.

She needn’t have worried, however, for as the three girls rounded the corner to head out onto the grounds, they nearly collided head-first with four laughing boys.

“Well, lookie here!” Sirius beamed as the groups righted themselves. “If it isn’t my favourite Hufflepuffs.”

“Hello, boys,” Sarah said, noting the slight blush that was slowly working its way up Anna’s cheeks and Remus’ casual glancing at anything but Anna. “Enjoying your Sunday?”

“Quite,” James said, giving the girls a cordial smile. “But, you know, I’m feeling quite bored. Sirius, have you got any ideas?”

“As a matter of fact, James, I do!” Sirius responded, his eyes widening as if he’d suddenly come up with a brilliant thought. “What do you say to a snowball fight?”

“That is a brilliant idea!” Peter squeaked.

“A snowball fight sounds marvellous,” James grinned.

“Could be fun,” Remus smiled.

“Ladies, would you like to join us?” Sirius asked.

“We’d love to,” Sarah said before Anna could even begin to weasel her way out of it. “Right?”

“Absolutely!” Gretchen said.

At Anna’s silence, Sirius opened his mouth to speak up, but surprisingly, Remus beat him to it. “Anna? You in?”

“Sure,” Anna forced out, giving him a shy smile.

As they all made their way down to the grounds by the lake, Anna pulled Sarah to the side. “I think I might sit this one out,” she whispered. “I’m not a fan of the cold.”

“You’re not sitting anything out, missy,” Sarah hissed. “And you love the cold.”

“Look, I just don’t want to play in the snow, okay?” Anna snapped, her voice starting to rise before she caught herself. “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal.”

Sarah paused. She’d been debating telling Anna about their plan since it began. She would certainly be furious if she didn’t know that they were plotting her matchmaking behind her back. But if she told her, she could easily become enraged and storm off, refusing to speak to Remus ever again simply out of _principle._

She had to tread lightly.

“It’s a big deal,” Sarah said emphatically, “because this is the perfect opportunity for you and Remus to hang out.”

Anna froze in her steps, staring at Sarah with narrowed eyes. “And why would I want to hang out with Remus?”

“Anna,” Sarah sighed, tugging her friend along before they fell too far behind the group. “I know you like him.”

“I do not!” she shouted, snapping her mouth shut as the others looked back at her. “I do not!” she hissed quietly.

“Anna, come off it. I know you sent him a present for Christmas. I know you were writing him letters. And I saw you two at the ball.”

“So? We’re friends. Friends send presents and write letters and…and for your information, nothing happened at the ball.”

“So, you don’t like him?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Well, according to Sirius, he likes you.”

Anna bit her lip. “Did…did he say that?”

Sarah swallowed her smirk. “Not in so many words. But they’re practically brothers. Trust me, he’d know.”

As they came upon the Great Lake, Anna asked quietly, “Do you really think he likes me?”

Sarah tossed an arm over Anna’s shoulders. “I’m certain of it. And this is your opportunity to show him that you like him, too.”

***

_Sunday, 13:20, Grounds beside the Great Lake_

“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,” Sirius called, opening his arms wide and giving a little twirl, “to the Great Snow War of ’76!”

The participants gave each other confused looks before breaking into scattered applause.

“I thought this was just a snowball fight,” Gretchen whispered to Sarah.

“Don’t worry,” James cut in. “It won’t be a real war. He’s just a drama queen.” At Sirius’ pointed cough, he corrected himself. “Sorry, drama _king._ ”

Sirius gave James an appreciative nod before continuing. “We will now break into teams. I will pick the teams at random.” He closed his eyes, placing two fingers on the bridge of his eyes and waving his arm around as if trying to randomly select the teammates. “Gretchen and James, Sarah and me, and Remus and—”

“I’ll partner with Remus!” Peter called.

Everyone but Remus, who appeared slightly disappointed, looked at Peter with murder in their eyes.

“But then, what’s Anna going to do?” Sirius said lowly, trying not to strangle Peter.

“She can be referee,” Peter grinned.

Thinking quickly, Gretchen spoke up. “ _I’ll_ be referee. The cold is bad for my skin, anyway.”

“Perfect,” Sirius said, clapping his hands together and shooting Gretchen a grateful wink. “So, since James is without a partner now, Peter can work with James, and—oh, I guess that leaves Anna and Remus. Okay, we each get five minutes to get ready. Make your forts and gather your ammunition. Ready, go!”

The respective partners approached one another, with Gretchen slamming her shoulder into Peter’s as she made her way to the outer edge of the war zone.

“Quick thinking on Gretchen’s part, eh?” Sirius said as Sarah stepped up beside him. “She’s a smart one, she is.”

“Yeah, very smart,” Sarah mumbled, feeling a twinge of… _something_ in her stomach as he praised her. She decided to change the subject. “So, let’s get started on that fort of ours.”

“Way ahead of you, Hughes,” Sirius said, pulling out his wand and giving it a dramatic flourish. Instantly, the snow around them packed together, growing and growing until a waist-high wall separated them from the other two teams.

“Not bad,” Sarah nodded, admiring his handiwork. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’ve done this before.”

“I may have,” Sirius said with a grin. “Help me make some snowballs, will you? We need as many as we can. I’m not about to lose to a sorry lot like this.”

Once the two of them had finished forming as many snowballs as they could, they had amassed three decent-sized piles. While Sirius looked down at the perfectly-round ammunition, Sarah glanced over at Anna and Remus.

“Look,” she whispered, nudging his arm. He turned, only to find that the two of them were quietly gathering their own snowballs, their heads bent close together, and their smiles clearly visible. As Remus said something, Anna laughed, sending a puff through the air.

“Oh, this is the best plan I’ve ever had,” Sirius said quietly, stepping closer to Sarah to get a better look. The two of them watched the quiet couple for a brief moment, their arms just barely touching. Sarah felt his warmth radiating through her cloak, sending a wave of unease through her. She stepped away, tearing her gaze away from her friend.

“We should get started, no?”

“Right, right,” Sirius said, seemingly unfazed. “All right, everyone, wands down! From this point forward, there will be no magic. Just good ol’ muggle snowballing. Gentleman, you already know the rules. For our newcomers, you can come out of your fort at any time, and you can enter another team’s fort if you wish. But be warned. If you’re hit below the neck, you’re out. If you’re hit above the neck, the person who threw the snowball is out. Once you’re out, you stand with Gretchen. Gretchen, as the referee, you determine who’s out, you call fouls—all of that good stuff. So, you best watch closely.”

“Oh, I will,” Gretchen said, starring daggers at Peter.

“Good,” Sirius sniggered. “All right, last player standing wins. Everyone ready?” At the chorus of _ready_ s, Sirius turned to Gretchen. “Ref? Would you do the honours of counting us down?”

“With pleasure,” Gretchen said. “Ready…steady…go!”

And the war began.

The first snowball was thrown by James. Swinging his arm back, he chucked it toward Sirius, aiming for the stomach. Sirius dodged it with ease, ducking below the fort, leaving the snowball to fly past and disappear in the snow behind him.

“Get ready, Hughes,” Sirius said, loading himself up with an armful of snowballs. “I beat James last time, so he’s out for my blood.”

“He won’t get any,” Sarah said, picking up only two snowballs. “I’ve got your back.”

Sirius paused, giving her a warm smile. “I knew I picked the right partner.”

Before she could respond, he crept up, poking his head above the fort. He ducked a moment later, instantly jumping back when the snowball whizzed past. Without missing a beat, he lobbed three snowballs in a row toward Remus’ fort. There was a cry of surprise and a curse thrown Sirius’ way.

“Black, you prick!” Anna called, and Sarah couldn’t help but laugh. She poked her head up to see that a corner of Anna and Remus’ fort had collapsed from the onslaught of Sirius’ snowballs.

“Why’d you do that?” Sarah laughed. “Don’t we want them in the game?”

“Sure,” Sirius said, ducking down again. “Just trying to make their fort smaller. Less room equals closer proximity.”

She gave him an impressed nod. “You really have thought of everything,” she praised.

For the next half-hour, snowball after snowball flew through the air. Peter was the first to be eliminated—after a mere ten minutes—but by whose ball, Sarah couldn’t say. She had a sneaking suspicion that their bitter referee had thrown the fatal ball, and Gretchen’s satisfied smile only convinced her further. But the realisation that she now had to stand around with Peter for the foreseeable future wiped the smile from her face in an instant.

James’ fort was all but obliterated, but he was holding his own, at least for now. Anna and Remus seemed to be taking the strategic approach, lurking just above the wall and throwing a ball only when someone else had stood. Sirius and Sarah, however, were nearly out of ammunition, thanks to Sirius’ demolition of James’ fort.

“Quick, we need to make a few more,” Sirius said, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat and melted snow. While Sarah quickly began balling up the snow around them, Sirius stood, aiming a snowball at James’ torso. There was a _whoosh!_ , followed by a _thwack!,_ and Sirius fell to the ground. Surprised, Sarah looked at the fallen boy. His chest was covered in powdery white—Remus had hit his target.

“Sarah?” Sirius said weakly, his eyes nearly closed and his hand outstretched as if seeking someone, anyone.

“Oh, no,” Sarah said, forlorn but still packing together more snowballs. “You’re out.”

“Sarah…come closer,” Sirius whispered.

Sarah smirked, catching on to his little performance, and abandoned her task, crawling on her knees until she crouched next to him. Deciding to take up the role of the heartbroken comrade in arms, she cradled his head in her lap.

“Don’t you die on me,” she whispered.

“I can’t…go on…” he wheezed. “But…before I go…will you do…one thing…for me?”

“Anything,” she said. She bit back her smile, struggling and failing to keep up with the charade.

“One…last…kiss…for a dying man?” he breathed. Sarah could just about catch the mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Well,” she said, pretending to think it over. “I suppose, for a dying man.”

His eyes widened in shock briefly—he hadn’t actually expected that to work—before he composed himself once more. He closed his eyes, leaning his chin up slightly. He could feel her breath on his lips, feel his heart pounding in anticipation. He leaned closer, expecting to feel her lips on his at any second…

He was met with a face-full of snow. He sputtered, opening his eyes to see her wiping her gloved hands together to remove the snow, her face bright with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Hughes!” he coughed, spitting out the snow. “What’d you do that for?”

She shrugged. “Funny.”

Sirius glared at her for a moment, and then his glare turned to a smile as he looked behind her. “Yeah, well, I don’t think you’ll find _that_ funny.”

Sarah frowned in confusion and turned. Standing in front of her, separated only by the short snow wall, were James, Remus, and Anna, each of them holding a snowball and looking at Sarah with victorious smiles.

“Erm,” she said.

“While you two were doing…whatever that was,” Anna said, gesturing to the two of them, “ _we_ were forming an alliance.”

“Oh,” Sarah mumbled, glancing back at Sirius. “Oh,” she repeated louder when she realised that the alliance included everyone but her. “Hey, guys, we can work something out, right?”

“Not a chance, Hughes,” James said, grinning like a madman.

“Sorry, Sarah,” Remus said without an ounce of remorse.

She closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable. A moment later, she hit the ground beside Sirius.

***

**_Mission: Invasion of the Frozen Lake_ **

_Wednesday, 13:55, First-floor corridor_

“You’ve done excellent work, Inspector Hughes,” Sirius said. He and Sarah stood together in the empty corridor, just outside of view from any surveying professors. It was dangerous work, bunking off class, and they couldn’t be too careful.

“Thank you, Chief Inspector Black,” Sarah said with a slight bow. “So, what’s the plan?”

“At the end of this corridor, we have target one: Anna Michaels. And just one floor below, we have target two: Remus Lupin. In exactly five minutes, our targets are going to come out of those rooms. James and Peter have target two covered, but it’s up to us to get target one.”

“And how are we going to do that?” Sarah asked. “I couldn’t even convince Gretchen to skip class, and she _knows_ about the plan. Not sure how we’re going to get Anna to come.”

“Oh, that’s simple.” Sirius smirked. “We’re not going to give her a choice.”

Sarah narrowed her eyes. “That sounds ominous.”

“Just follow my lead, Hughes,” Sirius said, glancing out into the corridor at the sound of the doors opening. “It’s go time.”

***

_Wednesday, 14:00, Corridor outside History of Magic classroom_

As the corridors slowly began to flood with students, Sarah and Sirius weaved their way over to their target. Once they spotted her, they pounced.

“Hey, Howlett,” Sirius said, grabbing Anna by the arm, with Sarah taking latching on to her other arm.

“Who’s Howlett?” Anna asked, only slightly resisting their pulling.

“You are,” Sarah said. “Remember? We’ve all got code names now.”

“Oh, yeah, that Brotherhood thing,” Anna mumbled.

“I think you mean _Siblinghood,_ ” came a voice from behind. Sarah and Sirius halted their kidnapping and turned to see Lily Evans standing just behind them, hands folded, eyebrow raised, and foot tapping.

“Oh, hey, Spitfire,” Sirius said with a convivial smile.

“Where are you going?” Lily asked. “We’ve got Defence next. And I just happened to notice you’re going the _wrong way._ ”

“Change of plans, Spitty,” Sirius said, moving once more. “We’ve got a top-secret Siblinghood mission to take care of.”

“Oh?” Lily said, rushing after them. “And what mission would that be?”

“Did you not hear the ‘top-secret’ part?”

“I did, but as a member of the Siblinghood, shouldn’t I be a part of this mission?”

Sirius paused for a moment, thinking it over. “I suppose you should. But you’ll have to bunk off Defence.” He shot her a look over his shoulder. “And I don’t know if you’d be up for that.”

Lily bristled. “I’m up for anything.”

Sirius smirked. “Good.”

“Do I not get a say in this?” Anna said, struggling slightly in their hold.

“Nope,” Sirius and Sarah said in unison.

Anna sighed, abandoning her quest to get out of their grasp, and let herself be dragged down the hall.

***

_Wednesday, 14:15, Pumpkin patch_

As the four of them came upon the pumpkin patch, they were greeted by James, Peter, and Remus.

“Ah, there you are,” James said. His eyes widened at the sight of Lily. “And you’ve brought a guest.”

“Well, it’s Siblinghood business,” Lily said haughtily. “I thought I should be involved.”

“Siblinghood?” Remus asked with a confused frown, turning to James. “You said Hagrid asked us to help him in the Forest.”

“Erm,” James faltered. “Right, right, that’s the Siblinghood business. He asked us to help, so we figured it was a task for the Siblinghood.”

“Right,” Lily said, crossing her arms, clearly not buying it. “And what exactly does he need our help with?”

“Well, you’ll just have to come see, won’t you?” Sirius said.

“Wait, we’re going into the forest?” Sarah asked, giving Sirius a look that told him she was not pleased to have been kept ignorant on that little fact.

“We can’t go in there,” Anna said. “It’s the _Forbidden_ Forest. As in, do not enter.”

“That just call it that to keep the first years out,” Sirius said, waving a hand. “We’ve been in loads of times, and it’s perfectly safe. Isn’t it, boys?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it safe,” Remus pipped up. “Last time, Peter nearly got himself trampled by the Centaurs.”

“Well, yeah,” James rolled his eyes. “But that was only because he tried to steal their food.”

“It looked good,” Peter mumbled.

“But as long as you stick with us,” James said, “you’ll all be fine.”

“What do you say, girls? Are you in?” Sirius said, giving the three of them a challenging look.

Sarah shared a look with Lily and Anna, the three of them trying to mask their apprehension.

“Well, if it’s for Hagrid,” Lily said with a shrug, “I suppose we ought to go.”

“If Lily’s in, I’m in,” Sarah said. “Anna?”

Anna gulped, staring at the trees. Remus stepped up beside her. “Hey,” he said, gently brushing her arm. “It’s fine. We won’t go anywhere dangerous, and if things get too bad, we’ll come right out. Right?” He turned to Sirius.

“Absolutely,” Sirius promised.

Anna stared at Remus for a moment before letting out a big sigh. “All right, I’m in.”

***

_Wednesday, 14:30, Clearing in Forbidden Forest_

After a quick, quiet, and mildly-unnerving walk through the Forest, the group of rebellious students arrived at a small clearing, the centre of which held a small frozen lake.

“Here we are, ladies and gentlemen,” Sirius said with a flourish of his hand. “The secret lake of the Forest.”

“This is what Hagrid wanted help with?” Lily deadpanned. “What does he want us to do? Break the ice? Go fishing?” She huffed. “I can’t believe I skipped class for this nonsense.”

“Actually, Evans,” Sirius spat, “Hagrid doesn’t want us to do anything. We found the lake and thought it would be a nice surprise to let you girls come skating with us. But if you’re too good for ice skating, then you’re more than welcome to go back to the castle.”

Lily bit the inside of her mouth, her lips scrunching up in annoyance. “Well, you could have just said.”

“And spoil the surprise?” Sirius grinned, his irritation at Lily’s lack of gratitude evaporating instantly. He reached into his bag, pulling out a few doll-sized ice skates. With a flick of his wand, the skates returned to their normal size, falling from his palm and into the snow-covered grass.

“I think I’ll pass,” Anna said as the others began collecting a pair of skates. “I’m not much for ice skating.”

“Oh, come on, Anna,” Sarah said, leaning against a tree and replacing her shoes with the skates. “It’ll be fun!”

“Yeah, you don’t want to just watch _us_ skate, do you?” Sirius said, plopping in the snow, caring little about ruining his trousers.

“It’s okay,” Remus spoke up. “I can sit with her. I’m not much in the mood for skating, myself.”

Sarah and Sirius shared a look and gave each other a minute shrug. Not quite the plan, but at least they would be together.

“If you insist,” Sirius said, standing up and wobbling his way over to the ice.

As Remus and Anna dried off a patch of grass on which to sit, and Lily, James, Peter, and Sirius made their way onto the ice, Sarah stood at the edge of the lake, looking at the ice hesitantly. Sirius, noticing her absence, made his way over to her.

“Let me guess,” he said. “You don’t know how to skate?”

She gave him a sheepish smile. “Roller skating, yes. Ice skating, not quite.”

Sirius smiled, holding out his hand. “Come on, I’ll teach you.”

With her hands holding his, she took a tentative step onto the ice, wobbling slightly as the blade connected with the slippery surface. Sirius slowly backed his way farther onto the ice, with Sarah clutching his hands for dear life.

“Just go slow,” he said softly, staring down at her feet intently. “That’s it. Now, bend your knees a bit. Good. Okay, try gliding your foot forward a bit. Just like that, good!”

Slowly, the two of them made their way to the centre of the lake, at which point Sirius let go of one of Sarah’s hands, opting to skate along beside her. Little by little, they sped up, until they were gliding around the lake with the ease of—well, a beginner. But Sarah had yet to fall, and she considered that a win.

Around them, Lily and James whizzed past, apparently racing one another. Lily looked behind her, sending James a wicked smirk, and James practically melted then and there. Peter trailed behind the two of them, struggling to catch up, but James cheered him on all the same.

At the edge of the lake, Remus and Anna sat together on the green patch grass, Remus with his legs stretched out in front of him and Anna with her legs curled up under her. The two of them chatted quietly, their breath coming out in small puffs. Anna laughed at something Remus said, and Remus averted his gaze, a small blush colouring his cheeks.

“Looks like they’re having a nice time,” Sarah said, nodding to the pair at the edge of the lake.

Sirius glanced over at them and smiled. “Good. Shame they’re not out here, though. I put a lot of effort into finding this place.”

“Well, _we’re_ enjoying it at least. And anyway, the plan was just about getting them to talk more. Mission accomplished, I’d say.”

“He’s quite besotted with her, you know? Every time I mention you, he’s always jumping at the chance to talk about her.”

Sarah raised a brow. “You mention me a lot, do you?”

Sirius smirked. “You’re my favourite topic of conversation.”

“Is that so?”

“Of course. You’re an utterly fascinating specimen. I mean, you’re the first girl to turn me down. Multiple times, at that. You’re practically a scientifical discovery.”

Sarah laughed. “Thanks, I think. But surely, I can’t have been the first to turn you down. You’re a complete nuisance at the best of times. I can only imagine what you’d be like on a date.”

“Oh? Been thinking about what a date with me would be like, have you?”

Sarah blushed. “Of course, not,” she stuttered out. “I just meant—”

“No need to deny it, Hughes,” Sirius said with a cheeky grin. “So, go on, what would a date with me be like? According to your imagination.”

Sarah rolled her eyes, deciding to play along. “Well, it could go one of two ways. Either you wear much too much cologne, take me to some overly-flashy restaurant with a snooty waiter, and spend the night showing off your purebred manners, making me feel utterly inferior. Or you take me to Zonko’s and spend the whole time ignoring me for the various slimes and oozes and whizzing whats-its.”

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Sounds like you really have thought about it. Well, what do you say we put it to the test, eh? See which of those theories pans out?”

Before she had a chance to respond, a bodily lump came barrelling into them, screaming as it went. As their hands separated, Sarah’s foot slid out from under her, and she fell to the ice with a great and painful thud. Sirius, stretching his hand out to try to catch her but tumbled down with her, landing on his hands and knees, hovering over her.

“Shit,” he said, his breath hitting her face. “Are you okay?”

“I think so,” she said, rubbing at her sore behind. As she looked up, realising that his face was mere inches away, she blushed, resisting the urge to scoot closer and, instead, scooting away. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” he said, a flash of disappointment streaking across his face as she inched away, only to be replaced by annoyance. “Peter!” he called, getting up to his knees. “You great oaf, you nearly killed us!”

The oaf in question had somehow managed to lodge himself into the snow on the bank of the lake, his feet flailing in the air, his entire torso buried in the snow. While Lily and James rushed over to dislodge the boy, Sarah and Sirius awkwardly helped each other up, brushing the flakes of ice from their clothing.

In all of the commotion, no one noticed the couple on the other side of the lake, making snow angels, their hands entwined.

***

**_Mission: Capture of the Tower_ **

_Friday, 13:00, Library_

The library—a fascinating place, filled with students of all kinds. While some sat at the tables, studiously reading their books and taking their notes, others giggled their way through the stacks, being entirely inappropriate, much to the horror of Madam Hinkley. Toward the back of the library, however, were two students, who were neither studying nor canoodling.

“Are you ready, Hughes?” Sirius asked, pulling out two pieces of parchment and two quills. “It’s time for Mission Five. The Capture of the Tower—the pièce de résistance. The moment when it all comes to fruition. All of our hard work—paid off.

He slid her one parchment and quill and leaned forward, whispering the plan. Sarah would write a letter to Remus, pretending to be Anna and asking him to meet her at the Astronomy Tower at midnight the next night. Sirius would write an identical letter to Anna, pretending to be Remus, of course. The two secret agents would then arrive at the Astronomy tower before their targets, find a hiding spot, and wait. When Anna and Remus arrived, the oblivious teens would slowly piece together what had happened—that they did not, in fact, send the notes themselves.

“But,” Sarah asked, bewildered, “doesn’t that defeat the purpose? If they know it’s all a setup, then the mission is ruined.”

“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong, my beautiful little puffball,” Sirius said with a wink. “For, you see, once they realise the truth of what happened, knowing them, they’ll try to figure out _why_ we set it all up. And when they talk about _why,_ they’ll realise that we want them to be _together._ ”

“Ah,” Sarah said, her eyes widening with realisation. “And when they realise that we want them to be _together_ , they’ll realise that _they_ want to be together, too.”

“There’s my smart little Bandit,” Sirius said, pinching her cheek and earning himself a swat on the arm. “But for this to work, it has to really sound like them. Which is why you’re writing Anna’s letter, and I’m writing Remus’.”

“I have to say,” Sarah said, plunging the quill into the ink. “This is just stupid enough to work.”

“And that’s the mark of a truly brilliant plan.”

***

_Saturday, 23:00, Hufflepuff common room_

With a quick nod to Gretchen, Sarah slipped out of the common room door. As much as Gretchen wanted to come along and make sure their plan worked out, there was no doubt that Anna would notice if both of her roommates were gone. With a twinge of resentment, Gretchen graciously decided to stay behind and make sure that Sarah could escape without being noticed. Not that it would be that hard, of course.

After sending their letters the day before, they immediately noticed the change in their targets’ behaviours. Both Anna and Remus were jittery, red-cheeked, and more than a little awkward. Sarah briefly wondered if perhaps they were nervous because they _didn’t_ like each other and were simply worried about turning each other down. But those fears were dashed when she noticed the shy smiles they sent each other all throughout supper.

And so, with ample time to get to the Astronomy Tower and find a hiding place, Sarah stealthily manoeuvred through the corridors, keeping her eyes peeled and her ears open for any lurking Professors. Unfortunately for her, with all of her newfound experience in breaking curfew, she’d become quite cocky. With steps too loud and a wand too bright, she heard the shuffling of feet and the dreaded _meow_ just a second too late. Eyes wide and heart pounding, she turned, coming face-to-face with Madam Grizabella, the resident sentry cat. And where there was Madam Grizabella, Filch was not far behind.

While Madam Grizabella meowed loudly, calling her master, Sarah’s eyes darted around the corridor, searching for a place to hide—there was none. Her only option was to make a break for it. Before she had a chance to run, however, she felt a hand grab her wrist, yanking her through a hidden door in the wall and quietly closing it behind her.

In the dark, she could not see her rescuer—or attacker?—but she could hear the gentle _shh!_ that came from their mouth. She decided to take her chances with the stranger, pressing an ear to the door and listening to Filch amble over, calling out to the student who’d now disappeared. She felt the stranger pressing close to her, their breath tickling her cheek, and she was grateful that they couldn’t see her, for she was more than certain that her cheeks were all but glowing red.

After a few moments, they heard Filch shuffle away, and the corridor beyond the door was quiet once more.

“That was close,” whispered the stranger. Wait a second—she recognised that voice.

“Sirius?” she whispered back.

“Who else?” She could practically hear the smirk in his voice. “You need to work on your stealth skills.”

“My stealth skills are just fine, thank you very much,” she said, giving his shoulder a shove, though in the small alcove, she wasn’t able to push him too far. It was then that she remembered just how close they were, and she cleared her throat. “We should get going.”

“Right, hang on.” Sirius illuminated his wand, pulling that grubby parchment he was always carrying of his out of his bag. As he scanned it, she noticed the shadows playing on his face, regarded the light shining in his eyes, admired the way his eyelashes brushed against his cheek.

“Okay, looks like we’re clear,” he said, breaking her out of her little spell. He looked up at her and grinned. “Enjoying the show?”

She bit her lip. Bollocks. She was hoping he hadn’t seen her staring. “I was just wondering when the last time you washed your hair was. It’s quite oily.”

He opened his mouth in offence. “My hair is not oily! It’s hydrated.”

Sarah smirked. “Sure, it is. Come on, we should go before they get there.”

“We’ve got plenty of time,” Sirius said, putting the parchment away. “They haven’t even left yet.”

She decided not to ask how he knew that and followed him out into the hallway.

***

_Saturday, 23:30, Astronomy Tower_

Once the two of them had made it to the top of the Astronomy Tower, Sirius set about moving some of the chairs around. “We’ve got to find the perfect seat for our little show.”

“You make it sound like we’re voyeurs,” Sarah laughed, helping him move a few of the chairs.

“Hey, there’s no shame in voyeurism as long as you own up to it.” When he was satisfied with the arrangement, he pulled out the parchment one more time. “All right, Remus is on his way. Come over here.”

He sat down on the floor at the other end of the room, completely exposed. Before Sarah could ask where they were meant to hide, he pulled a cloak from his bag and shook it out. He patted the spot next to him with a grin.

“I hate to break it to you,” she said, plopping down beside him, “but they’re definitely going to see us.”

“Not with this, they’re not,” Sirius said with a wink. “Scoot up.” Sarah inched closer but maintained quite a bit of distance between them. With a grand roll of his eyes, he yanked her closer until she was practically sitting in his lap. Before she could protest, he flung the cloak over the two of them, making sure to pull their arms and legs in enough to keep them covered.

Sarah stared at the shimmering fabric, forgetting completely just how close they were once again. “Is this what I think it is?”

“It depends,” Sirius shrugged nonchalantly. “If you think it’s just a very stylish cloak, then no. Although, I couldn’t blame you for thinking that. I _am_ quite stylish, after all.”

Sarah slapped his arm. “This is an invisibility cloak, isn’t it? Merlin, how did you manage to get your hands on one of these? I’ve only ever heard of the most powerful wizards having them!”

“As much as I would love to accept your praise, I’m afraid it’s not mine. James was kind enough to loan it to me for the evening. He got it from his dad, who got it from his dad, and so on. It’s quite old, actually. And it’s gotten us out of more than a few sticky situations.”

Sarah laughed. “You lot are the _last_ people on Earth who should have an invisibility cloak. I can only imagine what you’ve gotten up to with this.”

Sirius chuckled. “Trust me, you _can’t_ even imagine what we’ve gotten up to with this bad boy.”

“You’re sure they won’t be able to see us?” Sarah asked, suddenly nervous that they were too exposed. She could see the entire room and couldn’t imagine that no one else could see them.

“Quite sure. As long as we be quiet and don’t move too much, we’ll be fine. So, keep your hands to yourself, eh, Hughes?” Sirius waggled his eyebrows at her.

Sarah blushed, remembering their proximity. She inched away minutely, but it was difficult to get any space while staying under the cloak. “Same goes for you.”

“You know,” Sirius said. “You never answered me.”

Sarah frowned in confusion. “When?”

“If I remember correctly, you were wondering what a date with me would be like.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “I was not. And you’re not getting an answer, anyway.”

“Oh, come on, Bandit,” he whined. “Don’t leave me like this!”

“We’re meant to be getting Anna and Remus to go on a date,” Sarah laughed. “You are not hijacking this operation for your own means!”

Sirius heaved a great sigh. “You’re a wicked woman, Sarah Hughes.”

Sarah grinned. “Perhaps.”

“Shh!” Sirius hissed suddenly. “They’re coming.”

At the sound of the door squeaking open, the two of them shut their mouths, and Sarah placed a hand over her nose to quiet her breathing. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs grew louder, and a moment later, Anna stepped through the doorway. She looked around, presumably searching for Remus. Seeing no one, she made her way over to the railing, looking out over the grounds. She nervously bit her lip, tapping her foot in a jittery manner. Sarah smiled. It was nice to see her friend so excited about a boy. She’d spent the past five years droning on about how useless the boys at Hogwarts were, but now, it seemed, she had found someone who wasn’t quite so useless.

After a few minutes of silence, a second pair of footsteps made their way up the stairs, and Anna whirled around to see Remus poking his head into the room.

“Ah, you beat me here,” he said, spotting Anna.

“Sorry,” she said, wringing her hands together. “I’m always early.”

“Better than always being late.” Remus approached her, trying hard to appear casual, but even Sarah could see the subtle fidgets in the way he moved. “So… Did you get here okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Sarah’s taught me how to get around without getting caught,” she chuckled.

Remus laughed. “Yeah, Sirius is a bad influence on that girl.”

Sarah bit her lip to keep herself from laughing, while Sirius opened his mouth, then shut it quickly, forcing himself not to speak up.

“He’s not so bad,” Anna said. “She’s happier since they’ve become friends, so that’s good, at least. I think she secretly likes him, though she’ll deny it till she’s blue in the face.”

Sirius snapped his head to look at Sarah with a shit-eating grin, while her smile dropped completely.

“Honestly, Sirius is the same way,” Remus said. “Talks about that girl all the time. He’s almost as bad as James.”

Sirius’ smile dropped then, leaving both of the lurking figures to stare at their targets with cheeks as red as cherries.

“No one’s as bad at James,” Anna rolled her eyes. After a moment, she swallowed. “So, what’s up? Why’d you want to meet?”

Remus frowned. “Me? I thought you wanted to meet?”

Anna shook her head. “No…you sent me a letter.” After a pause, she asked hesitantly, “Didn’t you?” She reached into her pocket, pulling out a folded piece of parchment that had clearly been read and reread a dozen times over. Remus took the note, scanning through it with a confused crease in his forehead. After a moment, the realisation hit him, and his face dropped.

“Fucking Merlin’s bollocks,” he mumbled, pulling out his own letter. “I believe, Miss Michaels, that we’ve been set up.” As she scanned through the letter he’d given her, he sighed. “I’m assuming you didn’t send that?”

“No, definitely not,” she said. “I don’t even talk like this. It sounds like…”

“Sarah?”

She pursed her lips. “And I’m guessing you didn’t send me that?” She nodded to the letter he was holding.

“Nope. Pretty sure Sirius did.”

Anna shook her head. “But I don’t understand. Why would they send us fake letters?”

“Why have they been doing any of this?” Remus rolled his eyes.

“Any of what?”

“Haven’t you noticed? First, Sirius talks about you constantly; I’m assuming Sarah did the same about me. Knowing Sirius, that’s his damn groundwork. Then, they set up that oh-so-spontaneous snowball fight. And then—”

“The ice skating,” Anna finished. “But why? What, do they want us to be friends? Well, mission accomplished. We’re already friends.”

Remus bit his lips, hesitating. “My guess is, they want us to be…more.”

“More?” Anna blanched, her eyes wide. “What, like…dating?”

“It’s ridiculous, right?” Remus said with an awkward chuckle.

“Totally,” Anna said. “I mean, where’d they get an idea like that?”

“Beats me,” Remus sighed. “Sirius is probably just projecting. He wants to date Sarah, she says no, so he forces the dating thing on us.”

“Yeah, but Sarah wouldn’t do that.”

“I guess he’s a worse influence than we thought.”

After a long, tension-filled silence, Remus cleared his throat.

“Well, I’m sorry you had to trudge all the way up here for nothing.”

“Nothing?” Anna asked with a frown.

“I mean…like you said, we’re just friends. It’s not like we’d ever actually date each other.”

“Right,” Anna said with a forced smile. “Right.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you back to your dorm room.”

“That’s fine,” Anna said. “I actually brought some Astronomy homework with me. I think I’ll stay awhile and try to get it done.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you in class?”

“Definitely,” Remus said with a smile. “I’ll be sure to yell at Sirius for you.”

“And I’ll yell at Sarah for you.”

As Remus walked away, closing the door behind him, Anna’s smile slowly fell. She heaved a great sigh and shuffled over to the edge of the tower, looking out over the night, her face set in a contemplative frown.

Sarah and Sirius sat there quietly, watching her. They exchanged a brief look, both of them clearly disappointed with how their plan turned out. Sirius pulled out a piece of parchment as silently as he could and scribbled out a message.

**_Well, that was disappointing._ **

Sarah replied.

_What do we do now?_

**_Wait for her to leave._ **

_I meant about her and Remus._

**_No clue. I thought for sure it would work. I didn’t really come up with a backup plan._ **

_Well…it looks like it worked for Anna, at least._

**_She looks bloody miserable._ **

_Yeah, but that just shows that she likes him._

**_Ah, Hughes. Always finding that silver lining. You’re right! Now all we have to do is work on Remus._ **

_Easier said than done._

**_Not to worry, lovely Sarah. Leave it to me. You just make sure Anna stays interested in our Moony boy._ **

_I think I can manage that._

Sirius tucked the parchment away, deciding to wait for Anna to leave to discuss a new plan with Sarah. Unfortunately, Anna had no intention of leaving any time soon. After twenty minutes, Sarah felt her eyelids becoming heavy, and after another ten minutes, her head slumped onto Sirius’ shoulders, her breath coming in deep sighs. He smiled at the feeling of her warm breath on his cheek. At least _one_ of his plans seemed to be working well.

By the time Anna left almost an hour later, the pair of them were quietly sleeping, invisible to the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter is mostly done already, so it should be out soon :)


End file.
